Maintaining Interest

[atlantadawg]

What up?
So, per some recent threads, recently divorced, and now spinning plates like a mf'er.
Life is grand, banging a 27 yo (I'm 42.), just had a date tonight w/ 33 yo doctor who's fvcking fine and smart, impromptu hang out on Saturday night w/ 30 yo I was dating when I initially separated, lunch on Wednesday w/ a very attractive Financial Analyst at a F50 company, so it's on, big time, but here's my problem:
I am interesting, awesome and have a lot going on. I have a very demanding career, and I single dad it, damn well, I might add, 50% of the time, so my free time is rare and valuable. I often can't get w/ these various chicks again for a week - week and a half I have so much going on.
I feel like the spark dying out/panties drying up over that time cost me a very cool attractive hb9 that I definitely saw ltr potential in. So, short of 'How was your day, darling?' bs beta texting, which I don't really have time for any way, what are some ways to keep 'em interested when you're juggling a lot, between work, life, and womens?
Beyond moving the 27 yo old back in the rotation a bit to concentrate on all these new options, any advice?
TIA, fellas.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I know exactly what you're saying. I'm a introverted individual, so when I'm socializing with a group of people I have to be "on" for a while in order to properly socialize and generally have fun. I can only do this for a couple hours, maybe more if I push it, but after that I need to get away from everyone to have time to myself with just one or two other people in a less boisterous environment. It just wears me out after those couple of hours.

So in that regard you seem to be facing something similar to how I have to deal with life on a daily basis. If these chicks seem to be demanding excitement and adventure every single moment you two are together, well if you want them as plates then that's all they'll ever be quite frankly. These types of women will not work well in a LTR if they are expecting this out of you. Being in a LTR means that there's going to be lots of 'downtime' which to a lot of people is boring.

Are these chicks really focused on their work? Are they workaholics? This is also a telltale sign of someone I personally would steer clear of but it shouldn't be any surprise that they demand excitement when they aren't working. People like this tend to live by the philosophy of "work hard, play hard" which I absolutely despise.

It's natural for any guy to want to show off a bit about the things he does that he likes that may impress a woman, but you can't keep this up forever. If you're looking for relationship material at some point, you're going to have to see how they tolerate the downtime.

But if you just want to spin plates for a few years, I hope you have a good supply of energy drinks or something.

 

[atlantadawg]

I talk for a living, so I can relate to the occasional need for down time, but not really what I meant.
Also, providing them a good time when we do get together it's no big deal either. I work in a very exciting, interesting industry, and live right in the middle of a city of 5 million people; there's never a shortage of cool stuff to do. And, to clarify, they aren't in constant demand of excitement, that just happens as a matter of course. My question really breaks down to how to keep them interested between seeing them, as busy as I am, without resorting to stupid beta texting, etc.
Maybe that clarification will help. And fvck energy drinks, I drink a lot of espresso.

 

[Rainman4707]

Well it looks like you have'nt got time. Simple as that.

Either make time or cut down to one girl.

I'm not sure what you want us to say to be honest.
This is SoSuave, not "How to work an eighty hour week, whilst being a pimp"

 

[zekko]

Well it looks like you have'nt got time. Simple as that.

Either make time or cut down to one girl.

This is pretty much what I was going to say. Why do you want to maintain interest when you don't have time for them anyway? You could try serial dating instead of plate spinning.

If there's one thing I've learned as I've gotten older, is that there isn't time to do EVERYTHING. Sometimes you have to set your priorities and choose what is most important to you. The DJ world can be a bit like the equivalent of the female "You go, girl, you can have it ALL". Sometimes you have to look at things realistically and compromise.

 

[atlantadawg]

Qualifying with the goal of finding somebody ltr worthy is the ultimate goal, and not aware of any other method than spinning to find that out. Seems a hell of a lot more efficient than date 1 girl > qualify > rinse > repeat, at any rate.
Spinning plates is also a hedge against the flakiness that seems to be part of chick's DNA in this day and age.
Seems none of y'all have adequate game to kick in a situation like this? Let me break it down some more: when you're spinning multiple plates, time constraints aside, what do you say, between dates, to maintain the interest you've built to that point? (I am, for the record, a believer that the idle chit chat text that goes nowhere is generally a 1 way ticket to the friend zone.)

 

[zekko]

Qualifying with the goal of finding somebody ltr worthy is the ultimate goal, and not aware of any other method than spinning to find that out. Seems a hell of a lot more efficient than date 1 girl > qualify > rinse > repeat, at any rate.

Meh, I've done both - spinning plates and serial dating - and I don't see that much difference. Serial dating may be slower, but it's not a race. Also, not everyone has the ultimate goal of finding someone worthy. Finding someone worthy is largely a matter of luck - you run into her when you run into her.

The problem the OP has with maintaining interest is (IMO) directly related to the fact that he has no time to juggle women. If he has four women and can only go on one date every week, say, yeah women are going to get bored if they only see you once a month.