Maintaining Interest in a Relationship

[Pimp-sicle]

Over the past several months I've been going through a "soap opera" drama of sorts. No need to really explain that, but I did realize something over the past several weeks. As good as I feel that I am at sparking a high interest in a girl, hooking up with her and getting her in the palm of my hand early on, I have NO IDEA how to be once it progresses into something more.

Let's face it, life's not fair and good looking people as we've mentioned here many times before have it easier than others. Well I feel like a lot of my success with seducing and hooking up has to do with the fact that I am a damn good looking guy... I know I sound arrogant as fuvk...LOL

So for those of you DJ's who are in a relationship or who have been dating for a few months, how do you keep up maintaing her interest level? Do you slowly "open up" and show her the REAL YOU? I'm a very confident person, but the fear of getting hurt is probably my largest insecurity just like many others here.

I guess I'm kinda having fears of my AFC past and confusing that with being REAL. An AFC buys gifts, compliments constantly and basically acts like a girl's doormat. While a REAL man doesn't really play games, he's just confident, upfront and doesn't tolerate bullshyt from anyone. I feel like I've lost out on a few good potential relationships over the past 2 years because I keep playing the game. For instance if a girl compliments me, I usually say something sarcastic back instead of thanking them. And like I said I've realized that all this is due to the fact that I don't want to get hurt.

Any tips would be good to hear.



PIMP

 

[DJ_Dork]

uh, you're supposed to be the real you in the first place and keep things light/fun for the first 2-3 months. if she wants to know stuff about you then by all means answer (intelligently.)

 

[jbbrain]

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=43111

wait..more to come

 

[jbbrain]

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=43030

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by DJ_Dork
uh, you're supposed to be the real you in the first place and keep things light/fun for the first 2-3 months. if she wants to know stuff about you then by all means answer (intelligently.)

Well that might have came out wrong. I'm always the REAL me, its just that I fear opening up because I feel like I must always maintain that mystery and excitement about me. I think after reading JBRAIN'S threads I have a better idea of what's going on.




PIMP

 

[ArmondTamzarian]

I'm guessing you are trying to figure out how/wether to show your soft underbelly? Simple, don't. Dispite what women tell you about women wanting a man who is sensitive, they don't.

Think about how your grandfathers acted. Did they ever go around being all touchy feely? Of course not. Women want men to act like men. To help keep her interested, have a life outside of her. Go our on your own a few nights a week. Don't always be available to them.

I would also recommend never telling her any of your weaknesses. It can only serve to diminish her view of her. Remember she is your girl, not your therapist.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

If this is actually a relationship and not just a FB or some **** like that you _HAVE TO_ open up without it you will not get her emotionally attached to you. This is especially try for emotionaly insecure women (Which most women are).

If you don't actually make it clear to them that you care etc and you don't actually answer serious questions at all (Like did you miss me and **** like that) she will get tired/burned out or even so insecure she won't take you serious at all.

It's not what women say they want, it's what women show you they _NEED_ which is infact some emotional envolvement after a while.

 

[Austin Allegro]

I think you need to be careful with emotions in a relationship. Yes you have to reveal some emotional depth for women to be interested in you, but you mustn't go to far and become emotionally dependent on her - this is when womens' ILs start to drop.

Let's face it, women have been doing the same thing to men, (only with sex rather than emotions) for years - 'don't give him too much too soon or he'll think you're easy and won't want you', etc.

There are plenty of good articles on this in the Bible - the main thing to remember is that women love romance/drama, and if they don't get it in a relationship their IL will plummet. It's the air they breathe, even Byron knew this in the 18th century ('Man's love is to man's life a thing apart/Tis womens' whole existence')

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by Kineti[C]harm
If this is actually a relationship and not just a FB or some **** like that you _HAVE TO_ open up without it you will not get her emotionally attached to you. This is especially try for emotionaly insecure women (Which most women are).

If you don't actually make it clear to them that you care etc and you don't actually answer serious questions at all (Like did you miss me and **** like that) she will get tired/burned out or even so insecure she won't take you serious at all.

It's not what women say they want, it's what women show you they _NEED_ which is infact some emotional envolvement after a while.

I completely agree with you on this!! Most of the women I get involved with are real young (19-21) and therefore really insecure. I feel like I never really do act serious because I keep thinking about AFC mistakes we all made in our past.

I've slowly started to open up and its really had a very positive effect. Keep any tips coming.



PIMP

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

This is one of the things many people will have to overcome, especially AFCs or insecure people or actually anyone that does not understand the consepts.


The thing is that atleast AFCs and generally many people that know of "the game" (People here and on other simular sites) are AFRAID of becoming or doing AFC stuff because they imagine it will fvck up. The thing is that what people view as AFC stuff sometimes is the complete opposite.

Revealing emotions and your weakside is something everyone fears, especially males with our humongous but fragile egos. No don't go overboard but gently and over time reveal fragments and bits, give some, take some.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

nothing wrong with being sensitive to a woman or weaker less powerful people. Being perceptive and sensitive is not a feminine thing imho. Opening up to a girl and showing her the real you is the only way to go. Don't worry about a girl rejecting you, it happens to everyone. Have you ever rejected a girl? Of course, it's just the way things are.

Now then, if you can't be yourself, then you have to pretend to be something you're not to hold her interest? Geez, I wouldn't have the energy... better to send her down the road and find a girl that likes the real you.

My theory is to live your life like she didn't exist. She is not your reason for happiness, you are. Your goals, hobbies, accomplishments, dreams, fears, and interests are what make your world go round. Your purpose in life is not to entertain her... so if she finds you interesting, cool, if not, somebody else will... no biggie. The same thing goes for her, her purpose is not to entertain you, if you find her interesting, cool, if not, keep looking.

 

[R32]

Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
nothing wrong with being sensitive to a woman or weaker less powerful people. Being perceptive and sensitive is not a feminine thing imho. Opening up to a girl and showing her the real you is the only way to go. Don't worry about a girl rejecting you, it happens to everyone. Have you ever rejected a girl? Of course, it's just the way things are.

Now then, if you can't be yourself, then you have to pretend to be something you're not to hold her interest? Geez, I wouldn't have the energy... better to send her down the road and find a girl that likes the real you.

My theory is to live your life like she didn't exist. She is not your reason for happiness, you are. Your goals, hobbies, accomplishments, dreams, fears, and interests are what make your world go round. Your purpose in life is not to entertain her... so if she finds you interesting, cool, if not, somebody else will... no biggie. The same thing goes for her, her purpose is not to entertain you, if you find her interesting, cool, if not, keep looking.

Very good post, however when you say you shouldn't pretend to be something your not is what gets me, by trying to be an alpha when your really not one, or trying to take on attributes of one, isn't that being or pretending something your not? Afterall from what I've noticed some ppl are naturally more outgoing agressive, while others are more cautious and passive. Wether its a result of nature or nurture is unknown to me. Im quite new this all this, the msg I'm getting is often 'be yourself, be natural and have fun' and 'Don't be yourself, learn to be an alpha'. Is there a fine balance in between somewhere?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
nothing wrong with being sensitive to a woman or weaker less powerful people. Being perceptive and sensitive is not a feminine thing imho. Opening up to a girl and showing her the real you is the only way to go. Don't worry about a girl rejecting you, it happens to everyone. Have you ever rejected a girl? Of course, it's just the way things are.

Now then, if you can't be yourself, then you have to pretend to be something you're not to hold her interest? Geez, I wouldn't have the energy... better to send her down the road and find a girl that likes the real you.

My theory is to live your life like she didn't exist. She is not your reason for happiness, you are. Your goals, hobbies, accomplishments, dreams, fears, and interests are what make your world go round. Your purpose in life is not to entertain her... so if she finds you interesting, cool, if not, somebody else will... no biggie. The same thing goes for her, her purpose is not to entertain you, if you find her interesting, cool, if not, keep looking.

I want to make it clear that I'm not "pretending" to be someone I'm not, I never have. All I'm saying is that I'm very sarcastic, and ****y by nature. I like to find the light side of things and I'm hardly ever serious. I think that fact frustrates a lot of the women I interact with because I sense that they're opening up to me and I just keep the sarcastic thing going. Like I said I totally realize now that slowly opening up is a big key but it still scares the living shiat outta me. Not because I'm afraid of getting rejected. More like I'd hate to put time and energy in to a relationship and then develop feelings for a girl and then find out its going down the ****ter. But I guess that's the risk you have to take when you meet a cool girl.



PIMP