Maintaining Frame

[bacchus]

It seems like there are certain women who make it almost impossible for a man to maintain his frame.

Without going into the details, one chick I’m currently seeing regularly makes comments that cut at my masculinity (I.e. telling me I cheated by setting a camp fire using lighter fluid bc a man shouldn’t have to rely on that, making fun of me for putting on bug spray, implying it makes me a pvssy). Generally just saying ball buster things, even though she started out fairly sweet and compliant.

She is also failing to comply with some of the requests I make (i.e. she was talking about having a sunburn, I playfully asked her to send a selfie so I could assess the damage, and she replies via text “haha nah” then went silent).

I’ve never acted butt hurt and am writing these off as her shlt tests, but it’s just annoying that women these days as a whole aren’t more feminine and respectful. They were much better in the early 2000s when I was in my 20s.

I’ve kept my frame, but I feel like it’s not sustainable. Any way to break this particular chick or should I cut bait? I’m not overly invested in her, but I am very interested in the challenge of making this one compliant as a learning experience and practice for the future. I’m fvcking others, spinning plates, and she is consistently giving me great sex.

 

[Jager]

Tell her to “Shut up” or “Stop talking” when she does that. Say with a smirk, but eye contact that says you’re serious. Or don’t. It’ll be effective either way. Don’t be afraid to put her in her place if she’s p!ssing you off or emasculating you. Like saying “You can go now” or something. Basically just making it known that you can and will find others.

By taking on the challenge, though, you would be investing in her. Time and effort into making her compliant is investment. It ends in you being cucked, be it in two weeks or a year from now. The result is going to be the same, simply because you invested.

Me, I’d just cut her loose. If I have other women, in abundance, I can get more. Cutting one loose isn’t an impediment. There’s plenty of women that can ride d!ck like a champ.

 

[Jager]

Or just don’t react at all. That would work, too.

 

[Billtx49]

Or just don’t react at all. That would work, too.

Not necessarily, in many instances silence signifies to the sender acceptance of the message as truth.…

 

[Robert28]

Shows how much her dumbass knows. Every survival kit should have waterproof matches and/or lighter. It’s not HOW you get a fire started, it’s that you get it started in whatever way possible. No fire=you’re fvcked. Tell her you don’t feel like contracting Lyme disease from ticks or west nyle from mosquitoes but she’s free to risk it, but don’t ask you for big spray when she’s getting her stupid ass bit. Masculinity means you solve problems the easiest way, that’s what it sounds like to me you were doing. She and her “real men” will be cold and hungry while you enjoy your fire.

 

[Jager]

Yes there is a way. Expand your vision to "hero mode." Women don't give these guys a hard time. These guys have so much integrity that they are trying to change the world around them. They are not living to "banter" aimlessly and entertain women.

You can say don't react. But that's like being reactive. Your non-reaction is a reaction. It's better to be proactive. Expand your vision and focus beyond her. You can still be in the same proximity. But mentally and emotionally you are so far away from her that she looks like a child in your presence.

Women do not "test" serious men. Like no woman is going neg Obama or a CEO or even a guy trying to raise money for AIDS research or something. Women play games with guys who have no purpose for one reason and one reason only: You are living in their world of purposelessness and inconsequential banter.

It's not about being alpha vs beta around women. It's about having a purpose that is beyond women vs being aimless and having time to entertain their self amusement.

You cannot maintain frame if you don't have a compelling reality. And a man with a compelling reality automatically looks at women playing games as childish. There is no effort to maintain frame. Again, trying to maintain frame is reactive. Being proactive means having purpose, vision, goals, and passions beyond women. The frame is self sustained.

I stand corrected. That’s a more constructive way of looking at it.

 

[Spaz]

I don't believe in maintaining frame, it's a fallacy.

Frame is simply you, the whole you, the sum total of ur being.

If ur frame is easily broken or compromised then it's you that has a problem.

Yes, every man was born with certain inherent traits, that's naturally passive (expressives/intellectuals) or dominant (motivators/doers).

But whether u r inherently passive or dominant doesn't really matter as you can't change it, what can be changed or acquired is an accumulation of knowledge that will ultimately supersedes ur inherent core values.

That in turn will affect or influence you to act in a way that is far superior from what you were once before.

I won't and can't offer a step by step instruction manual because different men will have different core values, so the knowledge you acquired must be in-line with ur inherent traits and that will flow seamlessly in how you actually do things in real life - not coming off as a fake.

Just to recap, when frame is broken, work on acquiring more knowledge and then practicing on it until it becomes part and parcel of ur psyche.

 

[Trump]

I think stormrider meant to say women do not test “powerful” men. If you are “serious” and work at Walmart, she will still test you.

If she tests you, you have to call her on it. Makes fun of you for using lighter fluid? Call her on it. Makes fun of you putting on bug spray? Call her on it. If you don’t call her on her tests, she will think she is dealing with an educated dumb guy who doesn’t get when he is being insulted because he is so enamoured with her.

‘Hey bacchus, you look like a girl putting on bug spray.”
‘Sorry didn’t hear you, I’m too busy fulfilling my dreams and goals and desires and purpose in life.”

Come on..

 

[purple haze]

Walk away.

 

[speed dawg]

Couple of things to un-pack here:

1 - Why is she testing you?
2 - How to pass the test.

Number 1 has been hashed out there. Lot of good information in this thread so far. When in doubt, be busy. When you focus on something else, then your focus on her goes down. If this isn't happening naturally, do it intentionally.

Number 2 relates to how much you care. Let's focus on your campfire and bug spray examples. You can't just ignore her, because like others said, that is a reaction, and negative one. When she shames you about the bug spray, I would be like, "You want some?" or something like that. A reaction that conveys that you don't care. When she shames you about the lighter fluid, say, "They kicked me out of boy scouts" or equivalent. Then continue doing what you're doing.

Overall, if she's bothering you, I'd cut her ass loose. If you truly have other plates, which I doubt, this will be easy. Seems like her IL is going down quickly. Not like you really have any other options.

 

[bacchus]

Couple of things to un-pack here:

1 - Why is she testing you?
2 - How to pass the test.

Number 1 has been hashed out there. Lot of good information in this thread so far. When in doubt, be busy. When you focus on something else, then your focus on her goes down. If this isn't happening naturally, do it intentionally.

Number 2 relates to how much you care. Let's focus on your campfire and bug spray examples. You can't just ignore her, because like others said, that is a reaction, and negative one. When she shames you about the bug spray, I would be like, "You want some?" or something like that. A reaction that conveys that you don't care. When she shames you about the lighter fluid, say, "They kicked me out of boy scouts" or equivalent. Then continue doing what you're doing.

Overall, if she's bothering you, I'd cut her ass loose. If you truly have other plates, which I doubt, this will be easy. Seems like her IL is going down quickly. Not like you really have any other options.

I do have other plates - no point is posturing on a thread for a bunch of strangers. I’m 39 but I pull good looking younger girls. Admittedly she is currently the one I’m most attracted to.

 

[Trump]

And then what? You've called her on it. What do you hope to achieve by doing that?

She has to know she is not dealing with a dumb idiot. ‘Hey Cindy, I can put Samspade down and insult him and he doesn’t even care. What an idiot.”

It all depends how you want to be seen. Some men don’t care. I completely care. Give you an example, I had a acquaintance who had a hot younger sister. She put me down hard. I called them out for a drink and then destroyed them. They haven’t said one word about me since.

If you can let insults go from girls because you are too busy fulfilling your purpose in life, more power to you. I’m not the type who can let insults go, you come at me, I’ll come back at you.

 

[Jager]

I think stormrider meant to say women do not test “powerful” men. If you are “serious” and work at Walmart, she will still test you.

If she tests you, you have to call her on it. Makes fun of you for using lighter fluid? Call her on it. Makes fun of you putting on bug spray? Call her on it. If you don’t call her on her tests, she will think she is dealing with an educated dumb guy who doesn’t get when he is being insulted because he is so enamoured with her.

‘Hey bacchus, you look like a girl putting on bug spray.”
‘Sorry didn’t hear you, I’m too busy fulfilling my dreams and goals and desires and purpose in life.”

Come on..

That’s not what he meant. He’s talking about the core mentality of a man and how it relates to his reactions with women. I understand his point. There’s a difference, for example, of a man ignoring a woman as a reaction to her, and a guy who ignores because he’s focused on his vision and goals, not her. One is reactive, like a power play to show his dominance, whereas with the latter her tests and games don’t even register, because he doesn’t care that she’s doing it. The second case is more powerful, as her bullish!t is so low on his list it might as well not even exist. He’s got more important things to focus on.

I’m starting to understand your mentality about all this @stormrider. Correct me if I’ve misconstrued what your were trying to communicate.

 

[Trump]

The second case is more powerful, as her bullish!t is so low on his list it might as well not even exist. He’s got more important things to focus on.

We cant do two things at one time? We are that busy reinventing the wheel that if a girl insults us, we are too busy to care?

It’s not about elevating to a higher goodness purpose in life or being valuable. Its about not being a sucker. ‘But we fall into her frame.” So she can say anything she wants?

I swear you guys live in some utopia with white satin pillows and chocolate waterfalls. Any perceived slight. I respond. And I still have a great purpose and focus in life.

 

[wifehunter]

Learn how to dump a hoe.

 

[bacchus]

Update:

Just received intel from the girlfriend of a buddy (in confidence) that this broad has been using me to make another guy jealous. She has had a fwb for about a year that she’s been wanting exclusivity with, he hasn’t given it to her, so she went camping with me with the sole purpose of posting Instagram stories to get his attention.

She also had invited me to an overnight bonfire with her where, unbeknownst to me, this fwb was present.

Explains a lot.

Ironically, my SMV is objectively much higher than this fwb. He must have some serious game.


Should I cut her off completely, or should I have some fun with this broad now that I know what her end game is?

 

[Vik Divine]

Update:

Just received intel from the girlfriend of a buddy (in confidence) that this broad has been using me to make another guy jealous. She has had a fwb for about a year that she’s been wanting exclusivity with, he hasn’t given it to her, so she went camping with me with the sole purpose of posting Instagram stories to get his attention.

She also had invited me to an overnight bonfire with her where, unbeknownst to me, this fwb was present.

Explains a lot.

Ironically, my SMV is objectively much higher than this fwb. He must have some serious game.


Should I cut her off completely, or should I have some fun with this broad now that I know what her end game is?

Bro give me an update - what happened so far?
What decision did you make? Did you dump this *****? Or you still playing games with her?

Also: Serious question - this guy you mentioned (fwb) and him having serious game.
To the best of your ability - Can you describe his game & how you think he influenced her enough to get her to get him jealous by using you in the process?

Thank you

 

[bacchus]

Bro give me an update - what happened so far?
What decision did you make? Did you dump this *****? Or you still playing games with her?

Also: Serious question - this guy you mentioned (fwb) and him having serious game.
To the best of your ability - Can you describe his game & how you think he influenced her enough to get her to get him jealous by using you in the process?

Thank you

This broad is a memory now. I hadn’t even thought of her until you quoted it lol. I’ve been balls deep in many vagines since July.

The guy seems like nothing special to me, but I have no idea how he games her in private. I haven’t seen them together really.

 

[Clamslammer]

It seems like there are certain women who make it almost impossible for a man to maintain his frame.

Without going into the details, one chick I’m currently seeing regularly makes comments that cut at my masculinity (I.e. telling me I cheated by setting a camp fire using lighter fluid bc a man shouldn’t have to rely on that, making fun of me for putting on bug spray, implying it makes me a pvssy). Generally just saying ball buster things, even though she started out fairly sweet and compliant.

She is also failing to comply with some of the requests I make (i.e. she was talking about having a sunburn, I playfully asked her to send a selfie so I could assess the damage, and she replies via text “haha nah” then went silent).

I’ve never acted butt hurt and am writing these off as her shlt tests, but it’s just annoying that women these days as a whole aren’t more feminine and respectful. They were much better in the early 2000s when I was in my 20s.

I’ve kept my frame, but I feel like it’s not sustainable. Any way to break this particular chick or should I cut bait? I’m not overly invested in her, but I am very interested in the challenge of making this one compliant as a learning experience and practice for the future. I’m fvcking others, spinning plates, and she is consistently giving me great sex.

Yes there is a way. Expand your vision to "hero mode." Women don't give these guys a hard time. These guys have so much integrity that they are trying to change the world around them. They are not living to "banter" aimlessly and entertain women.

You can say don't react. But that's like being reactive. Your non-reaction is a reaction. It's better to be proactive. Expand your vision and focus beyond her. You can still be in the same proximity. But mentally and emotionally you are so far away from her that she looks like a child in your presence.

Women do not "test" serious men. Like no woman is going neg Obama or a CEO or even a guy trying to raise money for AIDS research or something. Women play games with guys who have no purpose for one reason and one reason only: You are living in their world of purposelessness and inconsequential banter.

It's not about being alpha vs beta around women. It's about having a purpose that is beyond women vs being aimless and having time to entertain their self amusement.

You cannot maintain frame if you don't have a compelling reality. And a man with a compelling reality automatically looks at women playing games as childish. There is no effort to maintain frame. Again, trying to maintain frame is reactive. Being proactive means having purpose, vision, goals, and passions beyond women. The frame is self sustained.

To piggyback on this, she is seeing if you are weak based on how you react. Your mentality should be you are the man, ain't nothing bothering you. In your case and the fact you wrote about it I can tell you are communicating it subconsciously to her that it is bothering you even though you tell us its not.

For example, my response to her stating real men don't need lighter fluid to start a fire would have been: "well I guess you will need to find yourself a real man then" with a smirk.

This will communicate to her that this guy does not give a damn if she walks and this will get her wet...then you lay the pipe next to the fire your started with the lighter fluid.

 

[Suave88]

It seems like there are certain women who make it almost impossible for a man to maintain his frame.

Without going into the details, one chick I’m currently seeing regularly makes comments that cut at my masculinity (I.e. telling me I cheated by setting a camp fire using lighter fluid bc a man shouldn’t have to rely on that, making fun of me for putting on bug spray, implying it makes me a pvssy). Generally just saying ball buster things, even though she started out fairly sweet and compliant.

She is also failing to comply with some of the requests I make (i.e. she was talking about having a sunburn, I playfully asked her to send a selfie so I could assess the damage, and she replies via text “haha nah” then went silent).

I’ve never acted butt hurt and am writing these off as her shlt tests, but it’s just annoying that women these days as a whole aren’t more feminine and respectful. They were much better in the early 2000s when I was in my 20s.

I’ve kept my frame, but I feel like it’s not sustainable. Any way to break this particular chick or should I cut bait? I’m not overly invested in her, but I am very interested in the challenge of making this one compliant as a learning experience and practice for the future. I’m fvcking others, spinning plates, and she is consistently giving me great sex.

From my experience.
I have learned that remaining indifferent helps.
I had a girlfriend who started sweet, and then **** tested me all the time. When I **** tested her, she got some mad she wouldn't pick up my calls or talkto me. We eventually broke off.