Maintaining Frame in LTR

[BadNews]

Hey guys, just looking for some general tips/tricks/advice on maintaining Frame while in an LTR. I just got myself a new girlfriend about a week ago, and the first thing that popped into my head was that I need to make sure I maintain the Frame I have worked so hard at up until this time.

I met this girl in September 2012, and have managed to hold out on any LTR until last weekend. She is an absolute sweet heart, gorgeous, and has shown me more willingness/effort (for me) than any woman I have been with in the past. She may be a keeper. I had a plan to be single for 5 years...and I broke it for this one!

I feel I've managed to do a good job maintaining my frame, but obviously the dynamics of an LTR are completely different. As I'm finding myself again in a new relationship, obviously things didn't go quite right the other times around (which may or may not have had to do with my frame) - want to make sure I do everything right on my end heading into this.

Any general advice or insight you may have is much appreciated!

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Bad News,
Unless you wish to have a Family,maintain a certain distance...That means keeping three or four nights a week free for you!....Having a life outside of hers keeps you interesting....Keeps the Relationship fresh and vibrant...Inevitably she will apply pressure on you for commitment....Never give any promises,just be supportively vague...be very careful about seeming to agree with her plans on future directions in front of friends,again just be supportively disingenuous LOL...Ideally still keep potential plates spinning,dancing is good for that...Doesn't have to be physical,but should she try coercion,you have fall back options...Good Luck!

 

[Atom Smasher]

Just make sure she doesn't perceive that she is the center of your life. As soon as she does, it's game over.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

enjoy it. don't be a pu$$y. Cuddle and sh!t but don't let her put anything up your butt....no matter how hard she pleads.

 

[Lexington]

Keep gaming her. A lot if guys assume that it's over after they "got" the girl. The truth is that it never ends. You should keep doing the same things that allowed you to land her in the first place.

 

[GotED?]

Being successful in a LTR is all down to having strong, mental prowess.

This is by far not an easy thing to accomplish and achieve; for me, it took 40 years of being sh!t faced by women until you realize there is always a bag of scum in every woman but some carry larger trash bag of scum than others. Try to pick the ones having the smaller bags of trash and scum.

Achieving success in LTR (as some posters have mentioned a while back), and with women - is that you need to almost have come to a realizing that you 'hate' women for what they really are (and they truly are not just pretty faced princesses STAYING in their castle).

When you have achieved this 'mild' hatred in the back of your head for having been fukked up the arse too many times in life by them, then you have achieved what is called being 'INDIFFERENT'.

This INDIFFERENCE of behavior means you can give less and less sh!t about women in LTR - you can care less if you don't do what makes them happy; you can kick their slimey vaginal arse to the curb if they attempt to play games on you or question your affection in any way or challenge your leadership.

It is this EXACT lack of fear of losing ANY women in your life - is when you would have successfully achieved a possible LTR, because that woman you are with will ALWAYS have doubts in her head if she is good enough for you. It is this fear and self-doubt that keeps a woman wanting you over time. It is the fooked up minds of women need validating that you have VALUE and that can only be acheived by establishing from the start of the LTR that you are not afraid to walk away at anytime. Most women don't have a clue what they want nor what they have, it is your responsibility to assert that in their hamster brain.

Good luck,

Exodus

 

[GotED?]

@GotED im not so sure that youre right but I am exactly where you are mentally and it seems to be working. The problem is that when you dont attach to a woman you are more likely to want to cheat with hotter women or at least be frustrated. Im not sure indifference is the recipe for a long term ltr.

This is the dilemma: Emotional Attachment to a Woman = an AFC Death

I am not sure what is the correct recipe either, but I am done getting the lower end of the stick in LTRs. This mentality has worked for me so far. I am not an arsehole by any means. But I don't put up with sh!t and I treat my woman right and fair. But she doesn't tell me what to do or dress me up like Ken the Barbie Sh!t-faced Mate.

 

[Fuglydude]

This is an interesting question...

I've been with my wife for a while. Been together for over 6 years and married for coming up on 2.

Many great points raised in the responses. Here's a list of things I think will help frame maintenance:

1. Never stop improving yourself, and never be happy/complacent with what you've achieved. This goes for your career/business endeavours, physical improvement (looks), personal/social improvement, intellectual/spiritual improvements, etc. If you are an intrinsically high value male, she'll have no choice but to stay with you, because she'll have a much tougher time finding someone that outclasses you. Always have high-level long term goals that you are working towards.

2. Be Sexual... Game her, make sure she's sexually "taken care of"... translation: Phuck the **** out of her regularly and use her like a sex object. I'm not sure about other relationships but my wife got considerably more sexual after we got married...

3. Your displayed level of interest must always be slightly below her displayed level of interest. This is unfortunately a part of the game. You should always be willing to walk away should Shiite hit the fan.

4. Maintain good communication and enjoy each other's company. Have fun with each other (not just sexually!!)...I still love spending time with my wife...doesn't matter what we're doing.

5. I know I'm gonna get flak for this, but I believe that the basis of a successful LTR is a good, strong and sound friendship. I personally don't understand why guys on here think that the friends zone is such a "kiss of death". I've been friends with lots of girls that I've banged. If you're a sexual, attractive, high value guy, you shouldn't have any issues getting laid even when you're in the "friends zone". I know this sounds like a Hallmark card but, my wife is my best friend, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

 

[Sloweburna707]

Hey guys, just looking for some general tips/tricks/advice on maintaining Frame while in an LTR. I just got myself a new girlfriend about a week ago, and the first thing that popped into my head was that I need to make sure I maintain the Frame I have worked so hard at up until this time.

I met this girl in September 2012, and have managed to hold out on any LTR until last weekend. She is an absolute sweet heart, gorgeous, and has shown me more willingness/effort (for me) than any woman I have been with in the past. She may be a keeper. I had a plan to be single for 5 years...and I broke it for this one!

I feel I've managed to do a good job maintaining my frame, but obviously the dynamics of an LTR are completely different. As I'm finding myself again in a new relationship, obviously things didn't go quite right the other times around (which may or may not have had to do with my frame) - want to make sure I do everything right on my end heading into this.

Any general advice or insight you may have is much appreciated!

I'm currently in the same boat you are my friend, my last LTR I was engaged at 23 in a 4 year LTR and I knew I was going to be stuck in a rut for LIFE! long story short I ended that and now have a new GF that, I'm dealing in the same position you are in.

(I'm 25) My advice is communication and trust I know you heard that plenty of time but with the right women these two things go a long way, and that's what I lacked on my behalf in my last relationship, so I told myself for this new one I'm going to rely heavily on these two things, and it has worked wonders for me. As long as your both on the same page on what you both want for each other when the right time comes to talk about it with her, don't hold back. I hope this helps out or makes sense im a lil baked at the moment :rock: