Maintaining a relationship

[Swift Shadow]

Ok so the truth is i have never really found it that hard meeting girls and forming relationships but i've never been too great at actually maintaining those relationships.

I'm quite a chilled out guy really so displaying indifference is something i do naturally, however i've always had the problem of how much emphasis i should put on the women.

I usually get girls telling me that they wish i would pay them more attention and show them i'm a loving guy, i find this hard because i adopted the "Non-needy" mindset when i first learned to pick up girls and i'm finding the transition hard.

I prefer them telling me they want more attention rather than less which would soon enough have me categorised as "just a friend"

The question is how much attention should i give them to show them i care but without coming across as needy

 

[zekko]

The question is how much attention should i give them to show them i care but without coming across as needy

It doesn't reallly matter how much attention you give them as long as you yourself are not needy. "The self is always coming through". If you feel needy you will come across as needy. If you are not in fact needy you probably won't come across that way.

It sounds like you have gotten the notion that to avoid looking needy, you shouldn't give a girl attention. You're most likely overdoing it with the starving her for attention bit. Your calibration is a bit off. To be in a relationship, you should give and receive attention. Nothing wrong with showing a girl some interest, as long as she is showing some to you too. Don't believe everything you read here about how a girl won't be happy unless you treat them like garbage. Bottom line, enjoy each other.

 

[Igetit!]

Ok so the truth is i have never really found it that hard meeting girls and forming relationships but i've never been too great at actually maintaining those relationships.

I'm quite a chilled out guy really so displaying indifference is something i do naturally, however i've always had the problem of how much emphasis i should put on the women.

This is kind of a confusing thread. You started out talking about maintaining relationships,but then brought up displaying "indifference",which is a "PICKUP" tactic.



You actually need trust,comfort,chemistry/sexual attraction for a strong RELATIONSHIP. You can't maintain a mature dating relationship between a man and a woman with pua tricks,tactics,and techniques being the foundation.




Negging,teasing,going "no contact",using lines,and running patterns.....all that stuff is just to get past a woman's defenses when first meeting/getting to know her. If you could just walk up to a girl and say,"Hi,my name is "Joe",what's your name?",ask her out,her say yes,then actually show up to the date,all the pua tricks would be obsolete.



There'd be no need for all this "pickup" stuff. You'd just walk up to a girl,say hi,then it'd go from there,but we know that's not the case.




There are a lot...a LOT of good men out there who get passed over by women,not because of anything bad or wrong they've done,but because THE WOMEN can't get out of their own way.



20 GOOD men can approach a girl,any one of which she could have a decent relationship with,she'll reject all 20,then complain to her friends that "there aren't any good men out there".

I usually get girls telling me that they wish i would pay them more attention and show them i'm a loving guy,i find this hard because i adopted the "Non-needy" mindset when i first learned to pick up girls and i'm finding the transition hard.

Yeah,judging by this,it seems like you are trying to keep relationships going with pua/"Don Juan" tricks. When girls tell you that they'd like more attention,or for you to show them a "loving guy",what they mean is that "emotionally" something is missing with you.



The "tricks" got them in the door,but once there,there isn't anything real or substantial.




I don't know what you're goal is. If it's just one night stands,I guess you can keep doing what you're doing,but if it's something more enduring,then you need to show something more enduring.

The question is how much attention should i give them to show them i care but without coming across as needy

It's hard to say because we don't know the amount you've currently been giving. But I know this:if each "relationship" you've tried to maintain comes to an end,and each time the girl you were with gave you THE SAME reason as previous girl,then you might want to tone down the "tricks" and be a little more real with them.

 

[ovi789]

Well just wanna say this that maintaining is much harder than creating a new one and most importantly it's test of ultimate respect, share ,care and honesty.