This site seems great for learning how to get chicks. I'm pretty good at that but there's always more to learn. I have a problem though where after a couple months or so I screw it up. Is there some advice anywere to prevent that from happening on this site or anywere else?
maintaining a relationship
- Thread starter sosilky
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ARrocket
Master Don Juan
Don't EVER stop doing what works.
My Name is Nobody
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sosilky said:This site seems great for learning how to get chicks. I'm pretty good at that but there's always more to learn. I have a problem though where after a couple months or so I screw it up. Is there some advice anywere to prevent that from happening on this site or anywere else?
Join the club.
You're right that the majority of the material here is for picking up women. In general, this "don juan" site does not focus on maintaining long-term relationships.
The material I've seen on the topic seem to say the same thing: stick with what works. Meaning, if it worked for you to get the girl, keep doing it. Falling into routines can get boring and one/both of you may lose interest.
One of my best friends kept the interest level very high on his girl, going on 5 years now. It's funny because they have lived together for like 2 years now but he rarely sees her. They even work at the same company! (She is "obligated" to eat with her department) After work he's always out with us somewhere, drinking beer, playing video games, watching sports, whatever. I found it amusing one Sunday night, he said he had to go home early (~10pm) because he had to spend time with the girl. I was like, don't you live with her? She is a hottie, and they're now engaged.
He's not "spinning plates" or anything, in fact he doesn't have that many female friends, but what he does is the same result. He's always busy and his time is in demand, which is exactly the point.
The material I've seen on the topic seem to say the same thing: stick with what works. Meaning, if it worked for you to get the girl, keep doing it. Falling into routines can get boring and one/both of you may lose interest.
One of my best friends kept the interest level very high on his girl, going on 5 years now. It's funny because they have lived together for like 2 years now but he rarely sees her. They even work at the same company! (She is "obligated" to eat with her department) After work he's always out with us somewhere, drinking beer, playing video games, watching sports, whatever. I found it amusing one Sunday night, he said he had to go home early (~10pm) because he had to spend time with the girl. I was like, don't you live with her? She is a hottie, and they're now engaged.
He's not "spinning plates" or anything, in fact he doesn't have that many female friends, but what he does is the same result. He's always busy and his time is in demand, which is exactly the point.
$
I've heard this theory before, in Askmen.com they say do what ever drew her to you in the begining will keep her around. Maybe thats where I screw up. I start to care about the girl and turn the heat up or some thing. But isn't there a point wher e you have to show you care, or more attention etc. ?
I've heard this theory before, in Askmen.com they say do what ever drew her to you in the begining will keep her around. Maybe thats where I screw up. I start to care about the girl and turn the heat up or some thing. But isn't there a point wher e you have to show you care, or more attention etc. ?
If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
If this is a recurring problem that you have in the 1-3 month mark then there may be more to it.
Meaning, what types of girls are you selecting in the first place?
Is there a common place that you meet them?
Are they coming out of other relationships to be with you?
What are the reasons they give for ending the relationship?
There may be a pattern that you are not aware of. If you are being met with the same (undesireable) outcomes repeatedly then it is time to look at why this may be happening. With your choices and with you.
Yes, you do what works, but you might not really know what 'works' for the score versus what 'works' for the longer term. The 'game' does change.
The first 3 months are usually an initial evaluation period for both parties. There tends to be another 'check up' around 6, 9 and the one year mark to discern if there is a real compatibility.
At some point yes, you do have to be genuine with the other person. Often, this timing is key. However, make sure that she is someone with whom that trust and strive for mutual understanding is worthwhile.
Meaning, what types of girls are you selecting in the first place?
Is there a common place that you meet them?
Are they coming out of other relationships to be with you?
What are the reasons they give for ending the relationship?
There may be a pattern that you are not aware of. If you are being met with the same (undesireable) outcomes repeatedly then it is time to look at why this may be happening. With your choices and with you.
Yes, you do what works, but you might not really know what 'works' for the score versus what 'works' for the longer term. The 'game' does change.
The first 3 months are usually an initial evaluation period for both parties. There tends to be another 'check up' around 6, 9 and the one year mark to discern if there is a real compatibility.
At some point yes, you do have to be genuine with the other person. Often, this timing is key. However, make sure that she is someone with whom that trust and strive for mutual understanding is worthwhile.
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
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Relationships are all about time... when it runs out its over... you can delay the end but not the end... get want you want and need for as long as you can then leave before she does...
WC2
Master Don Juan
I think the most important thing for a man to do in a relationship is to hold his manhood high. In other words, never let a woman take control of your life. Even for the strongest men, a strong woman can partially take control of their life; make them feel as if she is the one for him forever. This is a deathtrap.
No matter how good your woman is, you're only as good as you are to yourself. I've seen plenty a strong men fall to their knees for beautiful women, only to be kicked in the face when they walk out the door.
While many say being the first to leave a relationship is a must, I disagree. While it's always good to be one WITHOUT the emotional baggage after the relationship, a GOOD man will have little or no emotional baggage whether they did the dirty deed or not. A good man knows he has much to live for before and after his woman. He enjoys his woman's company, but doesn't need it. If you keep this steady mindset throughout your relationship, the chances of your downfall are much less.
No matter how good your woman is, you're only as good as you are to yourself. I've seen plenty a strong men fall to their knees for beautiful women, only to be kicked in the face when they walk out the door.
While many say being the first to leave a relationship is a must, I disagree. While it's always good to be one WITHOUT the emotional baggage after the relationship, a GOOD man will have little or no emotional baggage whether they did the dirty deed or not. A good man knows he has much to live for before and after his woman. He enjoys his woman's company, but doesn't need it. If you keep this steady mindset throughout your relationship, the chances of your downfall are much less.
$
The last girl I had a falling out with I guess mayb I'm guilty of showing her to much attention to early. The first time we got together it was realy soon. The next time we got together it was like 2 months. Someone told me you should not get to heavily involved until like four months. but i figured since we dated in the past i didn't have to. guess the phrase starting over has somevalidity. then again some wone fall in love with me imediatly.
The last girl I had a falling out with I guess mayb I'm guilty of showing her to much attention to early. The first time we got together it was realy soon. The next time we got together it was like 2 months. Someone told me you should not get to heavily involved until like four months. but i figured since we dated in the past i didn't have to. guess the phrase starting over has somevalidity. then again some wone fall in love with me imediatly.