main plate offers no counter date...next ?

[Bingo-Player]

spinning 3 plates at the moment

booty call plate - about a hb 6.5 - very little spinning necessary

student plate - about a hb 7 - currently away with parents ( awaiting return to date)

and then main plate - a hb 8 who seems to be requiring a lot more attention and spinning than the other 2 ( loves to text)

had arranged a second date with main plate for last night but she cancelled on friday as she " wanted to go out clubbing with friends" no counter offer...

i didn't dispute this infact i didn't even bother replying as many previous DJ threads on the topic advise

she rang me last night just before the date was arranged for.....but this was apparently an "accident" her phone had rang me by itself ....i didn't acknowledge and carried on with no contact

this morning then i have a text from main plate as though nothing has happened which reads something like

" hey xxxx guess who just sent me a picture of themselves topless" xxx

( the person she is talking about is a mutual friend we where laughing at on our first date)

i havent replied.....

now i don't like how she hasn't apologised for cancelling on me or even offered an alternative date

i want to next her for being so stupid

but just checking what the standard protocol from the good people on DJ is
before i make any final decisions

thanks

 

[TheGambino]

Def what Mauser96 says my man.

You gave her also what she deserved, nothing.

It's disrespectful to cancel your date for a friend gathering, that means she just goes out with you coz she has nothing to do, when something better occurs she cancels you with no regard.

Good job on not replying and ignoring her, I would keep that on.

Don't show your affected, you should be indifferent towards her. Don't get mad, don't give her anything, just ignore her. When she finally apologizes, you can go with it and only when she offers another date otherwise she just wants to find out 'where you stand' with her.

What to do: Be indifferent towards her, just don't care about her, hit up youre old plates and approach women man you need to spin the wheel.

Again, good job not actling like an AFC, ignoring her when she disrespects you or replieying with 'ok' is the best.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

A dog can get bored with a toy after a while, unless its its favorite one, which it will tend to protect, watch, not lose, etc.

If a woman perceives a guy as high value, she rarely do anything to mess it up as stupid as canceling a date to go "hang with friends."

So her canceling on you tells you that she does not see your value as high enough to become a priority.

If you chase and/or keep her, you'll do NOTHING to increase your value in her eyes.

The only way to do that is to go NC, ignore her, and hit up and bang other women. When/if she sees you with another women more attractive than her, she might then think she blew a good opportunity.

She might even try to come back. Don't let her.

Turn her into your own orbiter and pivot. Flirt with her, flatter her, make her feel wanted and sexy, but don't sex her. Friendzone her.

Then, get her to introduce you to her hot friends; or, she'll talk in a sexually frustrated way to her hot friends about this guy she wants to bang but can't seal the deal. That will possibly pique their interest too ("who's this guy that refuses to bang our hot friend? intriguing")

 

[Bingo-Player]

sorry i should have been more clear

the hb 6.5 I've banged and she is available to bang anytime however when a girl is this easy combined with average looks I'm not really sure i want to again

the hb 7 I've pulled on a night out before and we hang around in the same social circles and have a lot of mutual friends however we haven't banged yet but the chemistry is there anyway she's away at the moment so theres nothing i can do

the hb 8 i met about a week and a half ago on tinder we had a lot of mutual friends the first date went well and we had a good kiss at the end

by main plate i meant plate i am most interested in apologies for the the confusion

anyway i replied this afternoon around 3 hours later as i felt bad i hadn't replied
to 4 of her texts at this point

i kept my texts short and sharp however it didn't seem to make much difference she was still sending paragraphs back

i ended the conversation with i have to go see some friends now but text me later if you want to meet

probaly a slightly stupid thing to say in heinsight but I'm impatient and wanted to know where i stand with this possible flake

no reply - so thats her nexted now i don't have time for these stupid games

 

[dasein]

The date she cancelled, was it a firm plan to "meet at X at Y time on Z night?" or "let's hang out on Z night, OK?" "OK." If the former, next this one, although I do like her honesty in a perverse way.

Few would be brazenly honest enough to basically tell you, "I think so little of you that I'm not even going to bother a lie to spare your feelings, but am telling you straight up that I have no respect for you or your time whatsoever, and believe there's nothing wrong or inconsiderate about that attitude." That's what this one did if you had definite plans. She knows it too because the follow up "guess who topless" text is just a crumb to find out how much of a worm you really are and how much of her sh-t you will grovel down and eat.

OTOH, if you were sloppy and vague about the plans which I find extremely common with young, inexperienced men today, you got what you had coming when she flaked, and there still may be something to salvage. Wait a couple of days and then ask her out for a definite thing, not a "hangout" on a definite date and time. Do this going forward and you won't have these confusing misunderstandings to deal with. Always ask out for particular plans at a set time and place.

 

[Jariel]

You're missing the point of spinning plates.

When one cancels, you move to the next one. If the "main" one comes around, you go out with her, and alternate between them until something clicks.

It looks to me like you're expecting too much from this girl too soon. She's playing it cool and she's making her life her priority over you, which is exactly what you need to be doing.

 

[VladPatton]

Don't rank your plates before a certain amount of time. Just because she's the prettiest, doesn't mean she is the best. You can have a better time with a 6 than flakey, lying, unreliable 9.

I'd leave that flakey ass flake to the sharks and look for a better time with the others, man.

 

[Bingo-Player]

@dasien - the way i had arranged the date was as follows via text this was on friday .....

me: make sure your free from 6ish tomorrow as I'm taking you out ( note - a good text rapport has been built by this point)

her: okay i am working tomorrow but i should be done by then

me: ok well keep me posted

her: looks like I'm actually going out tomorrow now

i didn't reply up until today

i haven't had the response i wanted from her today so screw her although I've got a funny feeling il get a text at some point during the week either looking for some validation or genuinely wanting to sort things out

either way she's gonna have to pretty much beg me for a date if she wants me to play ball

i think its about time i searched for some fresh plates

 

[rushing dude 123]

@dasien - the way i had arranged the date was as follows via text this was on friday .....

me: make sure your free from 6ish tomorrow as I'm taking you out ( note - a good text rapport has been built by this point)

her: okay i am working tomorrow but i should be done by then

me: ok well keep me posted

her: looks like I'm actually going out tomorrow now

i didn't reply up until today

i haven't had the response i wanted from her today so screw her although I've got a funny feeling il get a text at some point during the week either looking for some validation or genuinely wanting to sort things out

either way she's gonna have to pretty much beg me for a date if she wants me to play ball

i think its about time i searched for some fresh plates

Looks like you are playing this well. One plate smashes, pick up another 1 or 2.

 

[dasein]

Don't conduct your social life or especially set date plans via text. Many women will have the attitude that texts without a specific time and place agreed to aren't real date plans and can be cast aside on a whim or BBDed. That is a haughty, entitled, sh-tty attitude, but it's just a given reality in dealing with women in the U.S. and countries like it. So many have that attitude, esp when hot and young, that if you next them all for it, you will miss lots of good leg opportunities. Call them on the phone. Until you have a "yes" to a specific place and time spoken in her voice, you don't have a date. You know what? in fact, don't text them at all until you are sleeping with them or until they are giving strong "we will f on the next date" signals. Good luck.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Thanks for the advice folks !

this girl is hot and at only 19 is yet to delve into that slut phase between 20 and 26 so she cant be blamed for keeping her options open

Anyway As i suspected a text through this morning

apologising her phone had “broken” yesterday and also apologising for not being able to see me all weekend.....still no counter offer

( her phone tells me when shes read the text and to be fair to her she didn’t actually read my last text from yesterday until gone 7am this morning )

In my mind i had already nexted her yesterday because she was so flaky over the weekend and i dont like these sorts of games girls play it screams trouble in the long run

nexting her really didn’t feel too bad doing it either i think my skin is getting thicker

but who knows perhaps she genuinely has had stuff come up in which case she can make the effort to reschedule another date

im not going to reply to the text today so i guess theres a big possibility we will never find out

i want to stand my ground on this one i have a feeling if she does come crawling back then it will stand me in good stead

 

[Turuwal]

I absolutely hate any kind of technological barrier in communication (phone, facebook, texts) because I rely so much on body language, but I now acknowledge that these are unavoidable when social circumstances make logistics difficult.

I've started to come to the view that there are only four things you should send via text:
- questions regarding logistics e.g. "I'm free tues and thurs, which is best for you?"
- statements or confirmation of logistics e.g. "cool, cya 7pm tues at xyz bar"
- a non-response to anything confusing or wishy washy e.g. "k" or "cool" or "interesting" then go back to logistics
- no response at all to a cancelled confirmed date

Any statement about logistics (e.g. change of plan or rejection of her suggested meet up idea) should be based on questions that subcommunicate acknowledgement of the social pressures she is under as a woman.

Thoughts? Can I optimise this further?

 

[Bingo-Player]

@turuwal

I dont know bro i wouldn’t see technology as a barrier myself , infact if used correctly its never been easier to get a bang

But it stops there once feelings and emotions begin to start getting incorrectly portrayed though technology then all hell can break loose , especially if you actually like the person your texting or facebooking or whatever

As a rule of thumb i go by the following

• **** buddy , booty call or whatever – yeh text / message away odds are its gonna be short and sweet anyway no emotions no problems
• Girls you actually like – just use to texting to meet, start getting dragged into “paragraph texts” and you start getting problems far better to speak your mind in person
• And never ever ever drunk text / message a girl

Unfortunately another problem modern DJ’s face is that fact that mobile communications are so instant the younger chicks cant get enough of it because it gives them yet another level of control

You can apply those rules youve got to older chicks like 30+ but it wont wash with the younger generation

The game is going digital whether you like it or not and has been for a while

 

[Turuwal]

Definitely some good points mate. I tried calling a nice cute 23 yo that I met in a club and that was completely into me and got no answer, even though she would have known it was me calling. I used a few straight to the point texts and got the lay after a few dates no problems.

Just one question: Did you mean that *after* you get the lay you can loosen up your text game rules? If so I totally agree. Not sure if I would do it before the lay though...

I believe that bar/club/party/group game will always be my mainstay because I find it easier to manipulate the social dynamics in real time and thus increase my advantage over guys who are better looking, wealthier, or have more status or fame. Logistics required due to female social conditioning has always been my weakness but I'm working on it.

Adapt or die!

 

[Bingo-Player]

yea younger girls seem to be generally more insecure than they're older counterparts and hate speaking on the phone to someone they don't know !! who knows why

oh yea definitely i was working on the basis that you have a well established F**ck buddy at that point to stop giving a **** in the texts relationship works so much better then aswell

to be honest I'm finding even texting old news now the new DJ's modern tools are

snapchats
tinder
twitter
whatsapp

i had a bird snapchat me on friday evening around 8pm a picture of her laying in bed with as much cleavage on show as possible with the caption

"im so bored "

she wasn't the best probably about HB 6 at best but at 21 i aint turning down a lay...... i whatsapped her and was banging her brains out by 10

( FYI - i already knew this girl)