Main Board Creep

[Jay Gatsby]

I hoped this wouldn't happen, but it has. In the past few weeks, I've noticed more postings in The Mature Man forum that address issues that are NOT faced by mature men. Here are a few examples:

"I want to date an older girl, what should I know?" by One on One -- who is 22.

"26 and never had a gf ... very depressed about it" by bobob -- who although he claims to be 26, writes (and seems to act/think) like he's 16.

and finally the straw that broke this camel's back:

"Is there a golden rule for the amount of time to get sex?" by TheNonPendant -- who although he claims to be 27, writes about a problem that most 16 year olds usually face.

Overall, I'm a very patient guy, and I used to get a great deal out of The Mature Man forum. What I'm seeing now, however, is a subtle creep of guys from the main board who are: (a) under 25 (sometimes way under 25) but claim to be mature enough to post here, or (b) are over 25 but act, write or have problems like those faced by men under 25.

While I'm sure that these types of posters "deserve" (which is probably too strong of a word) an answer to their questions (which can likely be found in the DJ Bible or by using the search feature), I do not want to read such questions in The Mature Man forum. I come to this forum to get answers to my questions, or to answer questions from MEN who are much like myself, namely, mature, have a career (or a plan for one), and most importantly, know the basic psychology of how to deal with women.

I'm not one to make idle threats. If the moderators of this board want to allow such posts to continue, then perhaps it's time for me to find a new board.

 

[Eternal]

Originally posted by Jay Gatsby I'm not one to make idle threats. If the moderators of this board want to allow such posts to continue, then perhaps it's time for me to find a new board.

As soon as Survivor comes on, he'll probably take care of things. I guess the whole "For guys 25 years and older" in the forum description is kind of throwing thigns off.

 

[WestCoaster]

I would agree

Good point Jay. The last month I've noticed a lot of immature posts on the mature man site.

Yeah, if one is looking for their first kiss they might want to read the DJ Bible first and then go to the high school board.

The thing that gets me on this entire site is the incredible lying that goes on just to get cyber high fives from fellow posters. This "street fight" story which lead a thread on Anything Else board was one of the biggest yarns ever spun.

Also, few people ever post a field report that is honest. I posted one where I went out, didn't get any numbers, but had an OK time. I was ripped to shreds, called gay, brutalized, all because I didn't lie like about 50 percent of the people on this site. I also made a post that said I got LJBFed, which was weird at my age. Player S was about the only guy with a decent response. It was constructive criticism at its best. The other stuff was flames galore.

This all prevents honesty and truth on this board. If we can't post field reports -- even ones where we fail -- that's a bummer.

Anyone can write erotica, and I think I'm a decent writer. If I just did this on a daily basis and lied up a storm, people would think I was great. Instead I tell the truth.

C'mon, this isn't the high school board! Let's improve the quality.

* Ironic that two of the best posters on this board are a woman and a 17-year old.

 

[ShortTimer]

I agree with the general ideas here, I'm just wondering if there is some way we can enforce an age requirement for the board. For one thing, a lot of people who post don't list their age, and secondly I don't know how such a thing could be enforced. Maybe the mods would have a better idea.

 

[Jay Gatsby]

ShortTimer -- Enforcement of the general principles behind the Mature Man forum requires subjective discretion, but also a firm hand. Moderating is like parenting -- without discipline there is no respect and ultimately chaos.

JSH -- I make no apologies for my post, nor my attitude about postings that do not demonstrate the necessary maturity to be posted here. If a young guy wants help, he should first do a search and check the DJ Bible. If he doesn't find the answer through either of these means (which he invariably will), he should post in the appropriate forum. If he doesn't get a sufficient answer (most likely not the one he wants to hear), then a PM to one or more quality posters would be the next step.

I don't read or post in other forums because of the quality of postings and questions asked. I would be a wasting my time and energy on people who have not demonstrated that they are worthy of either.

 

[WestCoaster]

JSH, it wasn't me who helped you out on the hs forum, I'm not sure who it was. And nope, you've never flamed me on a field report, I remember those well.

I don't mind if youngsters come on in, as long as a high school kid isn't dispensing advice. We had an 18-year old in here (who has since owned up) who said there was absolutely no difference between 18 and 30 years of age. I'm telling you right now, the decade of your 20's is where you will change the most in your life. It's rather incredible.

I don't mind comments now and then, but a 17 or 18-year old doesn't have any advice for an older guy who has dated young girls, older women, divorced women, twice divorced women, professional women, undergrads, grad students, blacks, latinos, and every mixture inbetween ... well, at least that's my dating resume.

Meanwhile, many older guys have been divorced (I haven't), or have dated women with a child or two (I have), and face complex dilemmas revolving around those issues. We aren't looking for the right color tux to go to the prom.

As you get older -- well at least me -- I have no time for game-playing, which is the modus operendi for women in high school and through a good part of college. Women, IMO, need a serious heartbreaking break-up which brings them to their knees to eliminate this game-playing, otherwise they keep doing it the rest of their lives.

Older guys -- well, at least me -- am quicker to "next" than younger guys. I won't put up with B.S. anymore, period. If women are pulling crap in the dating game, they'll be worse in the marriage game. Women don't improve when they get married, they either stay the same or get worse. I have no patience or time to waste on rude, mean, incosiderate, b-tchy women.

These are the issues we "mature" men deal with every day. It's a lot different than when I was in college and I was just frivilously dating (well, I'm still doing a little of that). Everything takes on a deeper meaning now.

So lurk and post, but I wouldn't be dispensing advice.

 

[OddTech]

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Older guys -- well, at least me -- am quicker to "next" than younger guys. I won't put up with B.S. anymore, period. If women are pulling crap in the dating game, they'll be worse in the marriage game. Women don't improve when they get married, they either stay the same or get worse. I have no patience or time to waste on rude, mean, incosiderate, b-tchy women.

These are the issues we "mature" men deal with every day. It's a lot different than when I was in college and I was just frivilously dating (well, I'm still doing a little of that). Everything takes on a deeper meaning now.

So lurk and post, but I wouldn't be dispensing advice.

Yes, I agree too with you. At mature age, issues like career are more important. I definitely will not date at my own workplace. I'm also quicker to "next." My idea now is to find a good girl to marry ... but that idea is fleeting by the moment.

 

[TheNonPedant]

Sorry to post such a dumb question oh mature one.

Why do you post dissing other people's post? Just don't reply....or don''t read them. But to reply saying that some posts don't measure to some kind of standard?....wtf?

We all got different problems and issues we face. Who are you to determine what is mature or not?

Later

 

[WaterTiger]

Children learn from their elders, it has been so since time began. As our friend WestCoaster related, the drivel and out right lies on the main board inspires the younger generation to come here to ask for adult advice instead of the general PIMPIN' advice they get from their peers.

We have been around the block, walked the well traveled and the less traveled roads that diverge in the woods. We've been there, done that, wrote the book, went on tour, sold t-shirts and have a DC-ROM coming out next week. We have the knowledge that should be shared. It is not our right to judge whether or not they are "worthy' of the advice. It should be given to them. If they choose not to heed it, then we can sit back smugly, knowing they prefer to learn the hard way. In time, they will realize we were right, and they should have listened....not unlike our own elders did with us when we were young.


This isn't a private country club...this is the internet. We can't ask the Security Chief to check ID's at the door so no undesirables get in. If some one posts something you find offensive, or in this case, immature, then PM the moderators to lock or delete the thread.

Peace,

~~~~~WaterTiger

 

[Eternal]

Originally posted by ShortTimer
I agree with the general ideas here, I'm just wondering if there is some way we can enforce an age requirement for the board. For one thing, a lot of people who post don't list their age, and secondly I don't know how such a thing could be enforced. Maybe the mods would have a better idea.

Half the problem when the mods were thinking of this board WAS an age requirment. 25 was the optimal age because it is the age when most people have just graduated college. There really is no way to enforce it.

I think that Survivor is doing one helluva job here though, considering he has a life outside this site too.

 

[ShortTimer]

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Older guys -- well, at least me -- am quicker to "next" than younger guys. I won't put up with B.S. anymore, period.

That's funny, I never pictured you as dating younger men.

*shrug*

 

[Jay Gatsby]

Yes, I am selfish. Selfish of my time, energy and knowledge.

My knowledge is the result of hard work and determination in the dating game, and in life generally. Yet some of you think I should dispense such knowledge to those who have not yet proven themselves worthy? Elders in any society do not dispense their advise freely and indiscriminantly. They give advice only to those who demonstrate they are mature enough to handle it.

Some of you reading this thread may not like my attitude. That's your perogative. But I have no patience for immaturity in an allegedly mature forum. I demand of younger posters that which I demand of myself, namely, discipline, thoughtfulness and an open mind. Posters who ask about "how to get sex", "how to get a girlfriend" and similar newbie questions should consider whether such questions should be posted in a mature forum. Responses like "well then don't read my post", "why you dissin' me?" and similar indications of immature indignation only reinforce my point that such postings (and posters) do not belong in a mature forum.

You want my advice? You ask politely and with respect. And regardless of the answer you receive (which will most likely not be the answer you want to hear), you say "thank you" and then think about the advice you've been given.

I leave the current state of affairs to Allen Thompson and Survivor as the moderators to determine what is best for the Mature Man forum. I can only hope, in their wisdom, that they will make the right decisions.

 

[bobbob]

I could reply with something nasty, but I'll take the high road ...

If you disliked my thread so much since it "wasted" your time ... it could have taken you no more than a minute to read through my first post and decide that it wasn't something you wanted to read further.

Yet you spent much more time than that writing and responding to this thread.

It would have been a lot simpler for you to just IGNORE posts you don't like. Instead of bashing people you don't know **** about.

 

[princelydeeds]

When I was in HS I used to tell my mother, I know this and I know that. My mother would look at me and say " the older you get the more you realize all the things you don't know."

The problems you face at 18 are worlds apart from those you face at 30. Thats not disrespect thats just life. 18 year olds think they know, 18 year olds think they are mature, 18 year olds say things like Im so mature! At 30, you never even question your own maturity. Experience breeds maturity.

My advice to the younger crew is learn to listen. Listen a whole lot more than you talk. Stop saying I knowand just soak up the information.

 

[Jay Gatsby]

Originally posted by bobbob
If you disliked my thread so much since it "wasted" your time ... it could have taken you no more than a minute to read through my first post and decide that it wasn't something you wanted to read further.

It took even less time than that, and that's exactly what I did.

Yet you spent much more time than that writing and responding to this thread.

That's because it's my thread, not yours.

It would have been a lot simpler for you to just IGNORE posts you don't like. Instead of bashing people you don't know **** about.

I shouldn't have to ignore immature posts, since they don't belong in the mature man forum. Ignoring posts may be appropriate in the main forum, but it should not be necessary here.

As for bashing you personally, a mature man would have recognized that my initial post was primarily criticizing where you chose to post (and perhaps also how you posted, e.g., grammar, tone, etc...), rather than the subject matter. Indeed, this is exactly how some other posters, such as Westcoaster, viewed your post. How to get a girlfriend is a problem faced by 16 year olds, not 25+ year old men. There's no shame in asking someone younger for help, particularly where he has dealt with the problem far more recently than a man who, for example, may already be divorced once or twice and has 2 kids.

 

[WestCoaster]

Originally posted by ShortTimer
That's funny, I never pictured you as dating younger men.

*shrug*

Do you have reading comprehension problems? Read the sentence again ****wad and figure it out.

 

[ShortTimer]

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Do you have reading comprehension problems? Read the sentence again ****wad and figure it out.

It was a joke, that's what the smileys were trying to tell you.

 

[WestCoaster]

Great points again Jay

That's why there are so many forums here, there's one for everyone. They should set up a new "liars" forum for all the tall tales going around this place, but that's another story.

If you don't have a gf or never had one, I believe the DJ bible puts out all the information you need. The first rule is to not so desparately need a gf, then you may get one.

But Jay is right, there should be deeper topics going on here. My questions revolve around dating women with kids, recently divorced women, or non-divorced women, what age is best, and should I ever get married. I'm not really worried about having a gf or not. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's not. Playing the field is just as fun to be honest, if not more fun.

The first date, kiss, sex, gf, relationship, etc., usually takes care of itself once the dating takes off.

Baseball DJ has the right attitude, sadly his peers on the high school board are he-l-bent to repeat the mistakes of our generation. The will not listen ... and this is why our society sucks.

OK, I'm rambling. In a nutshell, inexperienced guys should read the DJ bible top to bottom.

 

[Oyabun]

simple solution?

it's useless arguing with kids, beating the same words to death over and over.

as long as the threads stay up, activated, new threads will keep popping up. why not just lock the thread and transfer to another forum?

 

[Golden Arms]

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Do you have reading comprehension problems? Read the sentence again ****wad and figure it out.

It was obviously a joke, why don't you lighten up and quit being so uptight ?