Made my move

[Aesthetix29]

Decided to make my move on a girl I’m friends with .. took a chance.

We kissed she reciprocated but was shocked ... we’ve been out a few times since but nothing got mentioned about it .. so I called her out on it yesterday ... because at the moment she’s getting my time for nothing ... so I basically called her out ... I said since I made a move nothings been said about it, and asked her how she felt about it ... I just don’t want her milking my time and attention if there’s nothing there.

She went all weird because I put her on the spot and said she’d text me later ... I know this is 95% a no but it needed to be done. Still not heard anything almost 24hrs later lol.

She new it was coming so she can act surprised and clueless all she likes.

Now this can go either way which I’m cool with - I did this to break the loop of her milking my time attention - like no more dangling the carrot

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Decided to make my move on a girl I’m friends with .. took a chance.

We kissed she reciprocated but was shocked ... we’ve been out a few times since but nothing got mentioned about it .. so I called her out on it yesterday ... because at the moment she’s getting my time for nothing ... so I basically called her out ... I said since I made a move nothings been said about it, and asked her how she felt about it ... I just don’t want her milking my time and attention if there’s nothing there.

She went all weird because I put her on the spot and said she’d text me later ... I know this is 95% a no but it needed to be done. Still not heard anything almost 24hrs later lol.

She new it was coming so she can act surprised and clueless all she likes.

Now this can go either way which I’m cool with - I did this to break the loop of her milking my time attention - like no more dangling the carrot

Proof that there is no such thing as friendship between men and women. There is allways one of the two that waits for his/her chance to smash. Most of the time its the friendzoned simp that hopes to get lucky one day.

You need to shift to a higher gear dude. Quit being a beta orbiter to women you want to fvck. They either are interested from the start, or will most likely never be. No point for you hanging around them if they dont fvck you by date 3.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Proof that there is no such thing as friendship between men and women. There is allways one of the two that waits for his/her chance to smash. Most of the time its the friendzoned simp that hopes to get lucky one day.

You need to shift to a higher gear dude. Quit being a beta orbiter to women you want to fvck. They either are interested from the start, or will most likely never be. No point for you hanging around them if they dont fvck you by date 3.

There is an alternative to this which has worked now twice for me in the past and it's a slow play...basically you aren't really an orbiter, but you simply stay in touch with them on a semi regular basis while you date and bang other women. Met and banged a woman who I initially started talking with last year around August. Usually went a few weeks between texting and then would have some bursts of activity. She usually initiated the texting.

Finally just told her she is really missing out on a great guy and that's it's too bad she wants to screw herself over like that. Got her attention bigtime and she finally wanted to meet after another week or two of texting and her trying to figure out times(works a ton and has her daughter full time). She eventually just invited me over and we hung out in her garage(set up for get togethers more than a garage) and I banged her within 15 minutes of meeting. She said she was very intrigued by my persistence and confidence and wanted to meet me. Obviously she liked what she saw haha

 

[Barrister]

Instead of “calling her out,” which makes you look very desperate 9/10 times, why not just ask her to hang out or keep the intensity up by using kino again? I agree with forcing the issue to see what you have, but very rarely does “calling out” a woman ever bring forth the desired effect.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

There is an alternative to this which has worked now twice for me in the past and it's a slow play...basically you aren't really an orbiter, but you simply stay in touch with them on a semi regular basis while you date and bang other women. Met and banged a woman who I initially started talking with last year around August. Usually went a few weeks between texting and then would have some bursts of activity. She usually initiated the texting.

Finally just told her she is really missing out on a great guy and that's it's too bad she wants to screw herself over like that. Got her attention bigtime and she finally wanted to meet after another week or two of texting and her trying to figure out times(works a ton and has her daughter full time). She eventually just invited me over and we hung out in her garage(set up for get togethers more than a garage) and I banged her within 15 minutes of meeting. She said she was very intrigued by my persistence and confidence and wanted to meet me. Obviously she liked what she saw haha

Yes, it totally makes sence to have a solid and expanding stock of female acquaintances on your social media/whatsapp/whatever, because you never know when one might become "free" to raid. There is no harm and orbiting in texting a woman from time to time. Good job on that one!

But these contacts are not defined "friends" you go out to party with like OP does and hang around a few times after he kissed her.
He even admits the woman is geting his time for nothing, obviously for a long time.

Instead of “calling her out,” which makes you look very desperate 9/10 times, why not just ask her to hang out or keep the intensity up by using kino again? I agree with forcing the issue to see what you have, but very rarely does “calling out” a woman ever bring forth the desired effect.

He missed this chance on the date after he kissed her. One does not escalate and then fall back in being the usefull nice guy orbiter.

 

[Robert28]

You handled this well my man. Sh!t or get off the pot, that should be your message to her. If she wants to act all weird and not call or text when she says she will, that’s her problem. Let her be socially awkward. Go out with other women. That always worked for me when I was in the FZ. The problem is the women I was going out with looked better than the girls that I was in the FZ with so why the hell would I want to go back?lol

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Keep escalating

Yes, bro you can't stop and be like "How do you feel about this?" because your leading the interaction and if she didn't like it, you wouldn't be leading.

Do not listen to a thing she says outside of No or Stop, if she is allowing you to lead, you lead, don't stop to ask for directions where, foot to pedal

 

[Paper Crane]

Proof that there is no such thing as friendship between men and women. There is allways one of the two that waits for his/her chance to smash. Most of the time its the friendzoned simp that hopes to get lucky one day.

You need to shift to a higher gear dude. Quit being a beta orbiter to women you want to fvck. They either are interested from the start, or will most likely never be. No point for you hanging around them if they dont fvck you by date 3.

Smh.. You dudes really base your own experiences as if they were the ultimate truth. MIllions of people have friends that are of the opposite sex. You socially unhealthy dudes just really live a self loathing, alternate reality and try to project it out on everyone.

The second part of what you said however is very true if you're super into a chick.. you don't want to become an orbiter.. that's just self deprecation

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Smh.. You dudes really base your own experiences as if they were the ultimate truth. MIllions of people have friends that are of the opposite sex. You socially unhealthy dudes just really live a self loathing, alternate reality and try to project it out on everyone.

Millions of people have friends that are of the opposite sex and millions of people are beta providers.
Just because millions do it, doesnt mean its of any worth or good for men.

There is also the question how one defines "friendship". Men that have dozens of friends might have none at all.

Being friends with women is a complete waste of time for a man.
What are you going to do with the average woman? Drinking contests? Are you going to drag her behind you over that 10 mile run? Are you going to help her out in the gym while she cant even lift the weights you train with? Will you be doing a sparring match or talk about women and how to get laid with her?

Just tell me what exactly a women can provide to your life asides from pvssy, children and a LTR (if thats what one wants) that a male friend cant do better?

 

[Robert28]

Smh.. You dudes really base your own experiences as if they were the ultimate truth. MIllions of people have friends that are of the opposite sex. You socially unhealthy dudes just really live a self loathing, alternate reality and try to project it out on everyone.

The second part of what you said however is very true if you're super into a chick.. you don't want to become an orbiter.. that's just self deprecation

Hate to break it to you but if you are friends with any woman (unless she’s your friend’s wife or gf) you ARE an orbiter. That’s exactly how she views you. You people can keep playing with this fire if you want to but the guys that have been there and done that and lived through the bad experiences will tell you it wasn’t worth it. Why do you think on dating profiles it’s WOMEN that are “just looking for friends!” and never guys saying that? Because guy/girl friendships only benefit one person and it ain’t the guy.

 

[Robert28]

Millions of people have friends that are of the opposite sex and millions of people are beta providers.
Just because millions do it, doesnt mean its of any worth or good for men.

There is also the question how one defines "friendship". Men that have dozens of friends might have none at all.

Being friends with women is a complete waste of time for a man.
What are you going to do with the average woman? Drinking contests? Are you going to drag her behind you over that 10 mile run? Are you going to help her out in the gym while she cant even lift the weights you train with? Will you be doing a sparring match or talk about women and how to get laid with her?

Just tell me what exactly a women can provide to your life asides from pvssy, children and a LTR (if thats what one wants) that a male friend cant do better?

You’ll be having to fix her flat tire on a Saturday when she calls you because she hit a curb because she can’t drive. You’ll drive 50 mins out of your way to do this and MAYBE get a half @$$ed thank you or a hug. She won’t offer to pay for your gas to get there, she won’t offer to buy you dinner for your troubles, in fact she will text you later “where can I get a tire from? I’m so broke this week. Hint hint!” A fvcking monkey can google “nearest tire shop” but a woman can’t. Now, had YOU had the flat tire and called her it would have gone straight to voicemail and she might call you back 3 days later “oh sorry I missed your call! That sucks! I totally would have helped you if I was around but I was doing something else!” Fuuuuuuuck that nonsense.

 

[Aesthetix29]

still haven’t heard back yet ha ha ... will probably get a text in a few days saying sorry been busy

 

[Aesthetix29]

She said just replied after 2 days of silent treatment and this is what she wrote ‘ Hiya what younup to ? xx ‘

Is this just her trying to dangle the carrot again and see if I’m still hooked ?

After calling her out on Sunday and her saying that she would text me later ... which never happened to this .... this girl bipolar or something ha ha!

 

[Robert28]

I’ve known girls like this. She’s never going to give you what you want BUT she will happily take your attention if you’re willing to give it to her. She will always have a lame excuse for why she can’t go out with you. This one girl I knew for two years who was always “not ready to date anyone right now” and claimed she was “working on herself”.

 

[Aesthetix29]

AW confirmed. I would play it out, but you need to invest more elsewhere.

AW ?

 

[Aesthetix29]

Attention wh-re.

She probably does not like you. Maybe she needed some time to talk to her friends and see if she should give you a shot, but more likely she just wants to extract more validation from you. The way to play it is to "charge" sex for validation.

By the way, the last time I hooked up with a friend she also waited 2 days but that was just to LJBF me

Yep you could be right pal ... either way I’m aware to it now.

So when she messaged before I just replied saying that I’m in work which I was ... and she replied saying that she just wanted to see I fancied going for a walk.

Now this could be like you say purely for validation or maybe to give me a shot after speaking to her friends, I really don’t know but I’m definitely not dropping what I’m doing to go meet her .... read the message but haven’t replied yet.

 

[PRW63]

Decided to make my move on a girl I’m friends with .. took a chance.

We kissed she reciprocated but was shocked ... we’ve been out a few times since but nothing got mentioned about it .. so I called her out on it yesterday ... because at the moment she’s getting my time for nothing ... so I basically called her out ... I said since I made a move nothings been said about it, and asked her how she felt about it ... I just don’t want her milking my time and attention if there’s nothing there.

She went all weird because I put her on the spot and said she’d text me later ... I know this is 95% a no but it needed to be done. Still not heard anything almost 24hrs later lol.

She new it was coming so she can act surprised and clueless all she likes.

Now this can go either way which I’m cool with - I did this to break the loop of her milking my time attention - like no more dangling the carrot

Sorry man,...but this is a real mixed bag for me. So, yea, you nipped the whole Friend Zone thing in the bud. I'll give you cudos on that. But the "I called her out" thing is kind of lame. The right way to handle it is just leave it be. There is no "calling out". You kissed her, great,...then keep moving along as if nothing unusual happen,...as if it was no big deal. But instead you made it a "big deal".

H*ll yeah she "went all weird". Of course she did. But it wasn't because of the kiss, it was because of the whole "calling her out" thing. If it was just the kiss then she might have been uncomfortable for a few hours, shrugged it off, and things may have been fine.

She new it was coming so she can act surprised and clueless all she likes.

No. Nope. She didn't know it was coming. You were the Friend Zone guy,...and to women Friend Zone guys just keep staying in the Friend Zone and they don't come out. So, no, she never knew it was coming. Men need to wake up and realize that women don't think like men. They are emotionally driven. So the kiss for her would have be a bit of an emotional shock,...but the "calling her" out afterwards was the equivalent of being emotionally clubbed over the head with a crow bar. So I think if you would have just kissed her, not made a "thing" out of it, and continued on as if nothing unusual happend you would have been fine,...but you through the grenade into it by "calling her out". So there is a good chance she is done with you and it isn't going to continue on well.

 

[Glassguy]

She said just replied after 2 days of silent treatment and this is what she wrote ‘ Hiya what younup to ? xx ‘

Is this just her trying to dangle the carrot again and see if I’m still hooked ?

After calling her out on Sunday and her saying that she would text me later ... which never happened to this .... this girl bipolar or something ha ha!

Do you really think this is worth a response? Does this signify that she values your time and respects you after taking DAYS to send a 10 second text?

Sorry, but I would not respond. And if I did, I would wait SEVERAL days before I did.

 

[Aesthetix29]

Sorry man,...but this is a real mixed bag for me. So, yea, you nipped the whole Friend Zone thing in the bud. I'll give you cudos on that. But the "I called her out" thing is kind of lame. The right way to handle it is just leave it be. There is no "calling out". You kissed her, great,...then keep moving along as if nothing unusual happen,...as if it was no big deal. But instead you made it a "big deal".

H*ll yeah she "went all weird". Of course she did. But it wasn't because of the kiss, it was because of the whole "calling her out" thing. If it was just the kiss then she might have been uncomfortable for a few hours, shrugged it off, and things may have been fine.



No. Nope. She didn't know it was coming. You were the Friend Zone guy,...and to women Friend Zone guys just keep staying in the Friend Zone and they don't come out. So, no, she never knew it was coming. Men need to wake up and realize that women don't think like men. They are emotionally driven. So the kiss for her would have be a bit of an emotional shock,...but the "calling her" out afterwards was the equivalent of being emotionally clubbed over the head with a crow bar. So I think if you would have just kissed her, not made a "thing" out of it, and continued on as if nothing unusual happend you would have been fine,...but you through the grenade into it by "calling her out". So there is a good chance she is done with you and it isn't going to continue on well.

When I say I called her out it wasn’t in an aggressive way, we had just been for lunch and as I was getting out the car I asked her .. that was on Sunday and today she reached out to me again ..

There is also more history with this than what you’ve read in this thread.

 

[PRW63]

She said just replied after 2 days of silent treatment and this is what she wrote ‘ Hiya what younup to ? xx ‘

Is this just her trying to dangle the carrot again and see if I’m still hooked ?

After calling her out on Sunday and her saying that she would text me later ... which never happened to this .... this girl bipolar or something ha ha!

Come'on man! There is no mystery here. I'm surprised she responded at all. This is no dangling carrots. There is no big evil sinister plan here. She is just reaching out to you.

After calling her out on Sunday and her saying that she would text me later ... which never happened

She did exactly what she said. She said she would contact you later. She did exactly that,...2 days later. H*ll I go days and weeks between texting someone.

So she is reaching out to you,...either do something about it,...or don't.