Made a mistake but have a meet with her in 2 hours.. what do i say??

[pikachu_69]

Listen man, I know what you are going through. You really, really, really like a girl. It's rare. It's a wonderful feeling and suddenly, everything becomes a game of chess.
You consider everything you do. You think about what the best thing is to say to her, what the best thing is to do. To be absolutely sure, you ask for advice so you know for sure you make the right moves.
You tried so hard, but in the end, you still lost her. It hurts. It makes you think even more about her and how it could go wrong.


The problem is, that all that thinking is in fact, wrong. A girl likes you, or she doesn't. There's nothing you can do to change that. The whole irony is that walking on your toes and overanalyzing stuff just make it worse.

So the only thing you can do is be a man and if that fails, wether you fail or she isn't fair, it does't matter. The moment that things seem to go wrong, you walk away. You have to. It's the only fix there is.

Having said that, women are like that man. Women magnify things, place things in the wrog context, or say things that are just not right. If you are in a situation like that, walk away, laugh it off, shrug your shoulders. They don't even mean what they say. I know you ca be at a loss of words when women rant like that, but it's totally ok to say ''WTF''? And walk away. You don't have to defend yourself. You know that you're a great guy.

Also, be careful. Don't give a woman reason to hate you. I'm not saying that you should comply with a woman, or be a AFC. But if you really make her mad on purpose, they will be on a mission to socially kill you.

You mean socially kill me so no other girl goes near me?

I don't think it matters anymore I'm leaving the country and going back home in 2 weeks. I can't bear to see her with another guy so being 6000 miles away she can't hurt me or make me feel bad.

Though her b1tchy friend will say 'see i told you all along.. he's a bad guy blah blah' Girls are such bad judges of character of friends they keep around them.

I don't care. I'm leaving. I'm happy, say i did meet her tomorrow instead when she was free or happened to be free and it went well.. given how everything has gone on all the emotions of anger and issues we had before would manifest itself later on at some point in the relationship and then if it ended I'd be devastated and stuck in a city and country I don't want to be in cos she was the only reason I wanted to stay any longer here.

The place itself isn't so bad but feeling I feel in love with this girl and not getting her and made too many mistakes, it makes living here too hard. I do wish I never met her and I do care for her, I know I shouldn't but I feel sorry for her in some respects. But I can let go now. I'm free.

 

[J. Darko]

That's a great attitude. This experience might alter your life. You know what to do know next time. Good luck.

 

[pikachu69]

That's a great attitude. This experience might alter your life. You know what to do know next time. Good luck.

When you said socially kill me, do you mean so that no other girl goes near me?

She was so angry she was close to tears. I think she probably did cry afterwards. Do you think maybe somehow I had an effect on her?

Despite what everyone on here says, she did like me deep down. She gave me another chance twice and I guess felt stupid for giving me the chances. I wasn't ready for a girl like this, or majority of hot girls in general.

They don't like pushy guys. She said that. I find it hard to not be pushy but assertive at the same time. I get flakey answers and I try to pin them down to a time. Walking away is the only answer I guess.

 

[r0cky]

When you said socially kill me, do you mean so that no other girl goes near me?

She was so angry she was close to tears. I think she probably did cry afterwards. Do you think maybe somehow I had an effect on her?

Despite what everyone on here says, she did like me deep down. She gave me another chance twice and I guess felt stupid for giving me the chances. I wasn't ready for a girl like this, or majority of hot girls in general.

They don't like pushy guys. She said that. I find it hard to not be pushy but assertive at the same time. I get flakey answers and I try to pin them down to a time. Walking away is the only answer I guess.

You should just ignore her. Don't allow her to make such a drastic change in your life. JUST FORGET HER. and move on but dont move out. BTw learn to control your impulses man. You're not a little child. If you get rejected dont cling to the person, you seem like an immature kid whose dying for acceptance.

 

[J. Darko]

Yes, that's what I mean. You're the one giving her a chance. Not the other way around. As for being assertive without being pushy, you just have to put the ball in her court all the time. If you ask her out and she gives a flakey answer, you just say that she should call you when she makes up her mind. This way, you won't have to ask again. Also, you could begin touching a woman when you talk to her. You just make a negative comment about her and then you have good excuse to cheer her up by rubbing her shoulder. You can leave it at that and wait for her to touch you or do some other thing in return.
If she doesn't make up her mind, or if she doesn't respond to your touching, it's time to forget her. This girl, however, is a loss anyway.

As for her liking you. Make no mistake, if she doesn't show interest, she doesn't like you. Who knows why she gives you a chance. Maybe out of pitty, or she feels socially obliged to.

You remind me of my own failure. I chased a girl like that for years, only to end up heart broken. You don't want to do that.

 

[pikachu69]

Yes, that's what I mean. You're the one giving her a chance. Not the other way around. As for being assertive without being pushy, you just have to put the ball in her court all the time. If you ask her out and she gives a flakey answer, you just say that she should call you when she makes up her mind. This way, you won't have to ask again. Also, you could begin touching a woman when you talk to her. You just make a negative comment about her and then you have good excuse to cheer her up by rubbing her shoulder. You can leave it at that and wait for her to touch you or do some other thing in return.
If she doesn't make up her mind, or if she doesn't respond to your touching, it's time to forget her. This girl, however, is a loss anyway.

As for her liking you. Make no mistake, if she doesn't show interest, she doesn't like you. Who knows why she gives you a chance. Maybe out of pitty, or she feels socially obliged to.

You remind me of my own failure. I chased a girl like that for years, only to end up heart broken. You don't want to do that.

She showed interest, I mean when things were good she never flaked, never cancelled always came out. The ironic thing is how she was so spiteful saying 'I was never interested in you, I should never have came out with you that was a waste of my time I could have been studying..' Do you think she is just bitter that it didn't work out and it was a waste of time?

I understand where she's coming from in a narcissitic manner as in say I try to bang a girl and I waste my time taking her out etc and get nothing, that's the kind of waste of time she's talking about right?

It feels harsh cos I was torturing myself whether she just liked the attention or she liked me, She was intimate with me, licked my face my lips, we only made out once.. people tell me she was never interested and only playing with me, others say she must have really liked me to put up with listening to me talk for 8 dates.

She kept giving me chances to come back when I did something big.

Before new year eve I bought her flowers and 2 days before that I did the biggest AFC thing pretty much declaring my love for her and saying she was the only 1 I wanted to spend NY eve at midnight with but I didn't show, she didn't ask me to show.. but if i'm sending a text like that and then not even making an effort, won't she have thought I Was full of sh1t and never meant what I said?

 

[Alle_Gory]

She accused me of having no passions in my life but she never even asked me once about me, my upbringing, how I got to where I am, what i've achieved etc it was all me asking her when we did date last year.. she then says that if im passionate about something I would have talked about it all the time.. I said it's not necessary to be bragging all the time about this and that what i'm good at etc etc.. She then says to me 'Well I can tell you aren't the guy for me cos you have no passions'

What she means is that she doesn't find you passionate. Most likely she thinks you are BORING. Since that is the opposite of passionate.

Your history is not a passion. It's a story of your life. She doesn't ask, because she doesn't care. She does not want to know about you because she is not interested in any way.

People who are interested will ask, even if its something small.

They don't like pushy guys. She said that. I find it hard to not be pushy but assertive at the same time. I get flakey answers and I try to pin them down to a time. Walking away is the only answer I guess.

No. She just doesn't like YOU.

And yes there is a difference between pushy and assertive. Pushy is assertive but you continue past the point of discomfort with the other person. If they don't want to do something then STOP.

Quit being a sleezebag. This is just like the situation where you tried to bang that chick who's mom was dying by pretending to be her friend and console her.

This shows your social ineptness.

If you want to get along with other people then pay attention to them and act accordingly. Stop forcing yourself on other people. Their politeness will only last for so long before they tell you to fvck off. And they WILL tell you to fvck off.

 

[FreD_BeaR]

Quit being a sleezebag. This is just like the situation where you tried to bang that chick who's mom was dying by pretending to be her friend and console her.

This shows your social ineptness.

Thats totally sick and fvcked up.

 

[J. Darko]

She showed interest, I mean when things were good she never flaked, never cancelled always came out. The ironic thing is how she was so spiteful saying 'I was never interested in you, I should never have came out with you that was a waste of my time I could have been studying..' Do you think she is just bitter that it didn't work out and it was a waste of time?

I understand where she's coming from in a narcissitic manner as in say I try to bang a girl and I waste my time taking her out etc and get nothing, that's the kind of waste of time she's talking about right?

It feels harsh cos I was torturing myself whether she just liked the attention or she liked me, She was intimate with me, licked my face my lips, we only made out once.. people tell me she was never interested and only playing with me, others say she must have really liked me to put up with listening to me talk for 8 dates.

She kept giving me chances to come back when I did something big.

Before new year eve I bought her flowers and 2 days before that I did the biggest AFC thing pretty much declaring my love for her and saying she was the only 1 I wanted to spend NY eve at midnight with but I didn't show, she didn't ask me to show.. but if i'm sending a text like that and then not even making an effort, won't she have thought I Was full of sh1t and never meant what I said?

Just let it go. Forget it. Forget her. Don't think about it anymore.

 

[Joe Stud]

my advice was to tell her your best friend back home died. it wasn't a good thing to do, but u needed to get your a$$ out of an embarrassing jam. kinda like amputating a leg that has gangrene. not a good choice, but the best choice to save the rest of your body. at least she wouldnt have been chewing you out for bringing her there, and you wouldn't have looked as needy. i stand by my past advice.

 

[pikachu69]

Just let it go. Forget it. Forget her. Don't think about it anymore.

I'm trying not to but I can't.. damn I thought I was over it.

Why do I feel so bad today? It's like the aftermath of everything, I'm leaving the country in 2 weeks now so I'll be too far away for her to affect me anymore. I'm just so sad that it didn't work out. I keep thinking about all these if's and but's and if i only did this and that at that time. I remember so many critical defining moments in the heated arguments where if I just consoled her or held her none of this would have happened. That was the beginning of the end.

Why do I care so much what she thinks of me??

 

[pikachu69]

my advice was to tell her your best friend back home died. it wasn't a good thing to do, but u needed to get your a$$ out of an embarrassing jam. kinda like amputating a leg that has gangrene. not a good choice, but the best choice to save the rest of your body. at least she wouldnt have been chewing you out for bringing her there, and you wouldn't have looked as needy. i stand by my past advice.

In retrospect you were right, as soon as I saw she was p1ssed at me I should have switched to that plan cos she knew it was a plot to get her out. I should have done that instead.

Do you think she thinks I'm a complete liar and lower than scum now cos she feels tricked?

The thing is, it was important but only to me.. I just did the cowardly thing of forcing a meet up cos she wouldn't give me one on good terms. Had I waited till today or the day before where she didn't have plans I may have had a sympathetic girl rather than a p1ssy one who didn't want to see me.

 

[Kailex]

Aren't you leaving the country in 2 weeks?
Am I missing something here?

Is the move permanent?

 

[Alle_Gory]

Thats totally sick and fvcked up.

Yes it is. Here's the thread in question: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=168889
"How do you get close to a girl who doesn't let people get close to her? "

The dude is sick. But I give him some respect for being honest.

Why do I care so much what she thinks of me??

Because you're an AFC. That's one of the traits. Most balanced individuals do care to an extent what others think of them, but the AFC takes it overboard.

 

[J. Darko]

Come on guys, you are way to harsh. If you were so Don Juan, you wouldn't be sitting behind your computer putting other people down. Show some empathy, because even of you're a man now and don't give a **** anymore due to all the hard experiences in your life, you will have to admit that the first hard lessons were very painful, the same pain as this guy is experiencing right now.Show some ****ing respect, internethooligans.


As for Pikachu. It was already clear that you wasn't over it. You're over it when you don't think about it anymore, like it never really happened. That can take a long time, especially if you're torn with guilt. You can't just push the butto and be all Don Juan like all of a sudden. It's a painful process, with a lot mistakes and regret a log the way. But if you keep fighting, you will learn.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Come on guys, you are way to harsh. If you were so Don Juan, you wouldn't be sitting behind your computer putting other people down. Show some empathy

So, I take it you're a Don Juan to know all this. Tell me more. Would like to hear what a Don Juan's life is like.

I'm putting this evil motherfvcker down because that's where he belongs. Read the other thread where he tried to take advantage of a chick's dying mother for his own benefit before you judge. He is sick as far as I'm concerned. That and he keeps spamming the forum with the situation about the SAME chick over and over.

And you say this kind of "person" deserves respect.

 

[Exhumed]

The first step is to not be torn with guilt. When a girl has lost interest in you she will treat you like SH!T sometimes and then try and put the blame on you. You made some poor decisions regarding pickup and as a result she lost interest. I'm willing to bet she didn't respect you and hardly cared about you as soon as she decided not to date you. Why didn't she invite you out with her and her friends, maybe even try to set you up with one of them? Because she doesn't give a sh*t about you. So why should you feel guilty about "wasting her time"? She wasted plenty of yours.

She's also a liar. She said she was never interested in you. Some girls like to do that when they lose interest in you and you've never made a move, and it's a b!tch thing to do.

You need to realize she's just like every other girl, she'll treat you like sh!t if you're AFC and she'll be all over you if you're not. Considering that she led you on for a while and then let you down harshly and tried to make you feel guilty, she's on the low end of the quality spectrum.

 

[pikachu69]

So, I take it you're a Don Juan to know all this. Tell me more. Would like to hear what a Don Juan's life is like.

I'm putting this evil motherfvcker down because that's where he belongs. Read the other thread where he tried to take advantage of a chick's dying mother for his own benefit before you judge. He is sick as far as I'm concerned. That and he keeps spamming the forum with the situation about the SAME chick over and over.

And you say this kind of "person" deserves respect.

Look, you keep going on and on about how I tried to take advantage of her dying mother and all this crap and you don't know sh1t, if you read 1 of my posts carefully I said that I didn't want to take advantage of her situation cos i truly care for her, I just said that given the circumstances it gave me a way back in unexpectedly. I was never going to use it to sleep with her. I genuinely cared for this girl and I was really upset while she was away worrying about her.

So stop planting all these posts about how I'm this and that, you don't know sh1t about me, you just made an assumption on the basis of a thread I made without even understanding what I meant.

 

[Alle_Gory]

you don't know sh1t, if you read 1 of my posts carefully

I understand your posts better than you do, drift king. This is your third account isn't it? Kind of creepy to be using multiple accounts. Three I count, drift_king, pikachu_69, pikachu69. I wonder how many other accounts you're using right now.

How do I know? Same writing style, same obsession about a particular girl, same stubbornness when people give you advice. I wonder why you're here if you choose to ignore everything people say to you. If you have no use for people's advice, then don't ask for it.

It's really simple.

 

[pikachu69]

I understand your posts better than you do, drift king. This is your third account isn't it? Kind of creepy to be using multiple accounts. Three I count, drift_king, pikachu_69, pikachu69. I wonder how many other accounts you're using right now.

How do I know? Same writing style, same obsession about a particular girl, same stubbornness when people give you advice. I wonder why you're here if you choose to ignore everything people say to you. If you have no use for people's advice, then don't ask for it.

It's really simple.

What has this got to do with you accusing me of trying to sleep with this girl with a dying mother?

You're full of sh1t.