Made a MAJOR mistake! help!

[TheCWord]

so you guys dont believe in second chances? and that everyone makes mistakes? although i dont know if shes genuine at this stage

I believe in second chances, but I believe they have to work damn hard to prove that they have changed - they're going to be putting in max effort and I'm going to protect my heart with barbed wire fences, moats, and sharks with freaking laser beams attached to their heads until I'm sure that they are worthy of a second chance.

You? You seem to be granting her a free pass without her having to do any work. You gave her flowers not because she's changed, but because you hope she's changed. That's bass ackwards, and it is not going to end well for you if you insist on ignoring the advice being given to you on here.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Fvck OP! Ditch this worthless wh0re like she's got Ebola.
You admitted that she broke your heart and ditched you with no flicker of conscience.
Now you're contemplating taking her back???? She gave up the right to exist in your world the second she jumped on another guy's d1ck.
Don't give her the satisfaction of forgiving her for such a grave, cold and heartless insult.
I know Backbreaker subscribes to the view that he would only take a woman after she had tasted other men and came back, but I'm not so forgiving.
Tell her to rot in hell.

 

[casaanova]

She says all the time that shes unhappy with him and how he doesnt treat her like i used to but yet she hasnt broken up with him

You must be new here

she writes me and email saying how she regrets breaking up with me and how sorry she is for the way she treated me last year when we broke up

No she isn't. She's sorry that she's now out of options from jumping ship from you (and probably a few other guys too). It doesn't take a year for somebody to realize they suddenly regret something they did

 

[instantnoodles]

I believe in second chances, but I believe they have to work damn hard to prove that they have changed - they're going to be putting in max effort and I'm going to protect my heart with barbed wire fences, moats, and sharks with freaking laser beams attached to their heads until I'm sure that they are worthy of a second chance.

You? You seem to be granting her a free pass without her having to do any work. You gave her flowers not because she's changed, but because you hope she's changed. That's bass ackwards, and it is not going to end well for you if you insist on ignoring the advice being given to you on here.

THIS! A billion times over sprinkled with REPS!

:yes:

 

[sodbuster]

I wouldn't give her flowers until after 100 BJ's...

 

[Thoma]

so you guys dont believe in second chances? and that everyone makes mistakes? although i dont know if shes genuine at this stage

First, you're framing it incorrectly. She did not make a mistake, she made a choice and that choice was another guy over you.

Second, you're are giving her a second chance by giving her the choice as to whether or not she wants to earn her place in your life. If she doesn't, then you've lost nothing because you're Gaming other girls.

Third, at this point, you've basically been hurt by this girl twice and now she's actively using you as an emotional tampon. I know you want what you had 4 months into the relationship with her, but it will never happen, not until she believes your value is higher than hers. At this point, because of the flowers, it's going to be so difficult to make that happen as to not be worth the effort. I know, because I've tried before and it's never worked.

If you really want to know how she feels about you, invite her over and escalate physically. If she stops you, you're just friends and it's not worth your time to focus on her. If she lets you sleep with her, she's cheating on her boyfriend and she's not worth your time to focus on her.

In short, it's not worth your time.

 

[evil_tomato]

now i feel like a total tool and regret everything.
Its been 4 days an i havent heard from her and i am this close to sending her a message saying that this isnt working out for me and i have found someone else which technically i have because i have another girl that actually wants me....

 

[Thoma]

now i feel like a total tool and regret everything.
Its been 4 days an i havent heard from her and i am this close to sending her a message saying that this isnt working out for me and i have found someone else which technically i have because i have another girl that actually wants me....

No, that is not the way to feel. For one, you were successful in sleeping with a woman you truly desired and that other men want. That makes you better than most men in your city.

Second, you are molding yourself into become more than just the average man. I've seen what it means to be most men. I've recently watched a good guy who is blue pill to his core build a woman back up after her fiance dumped her. Naturally she s*** all over his investment and did not chose him, but rather another guy she just met. He invested maybe a year or more into this girl to get nothing from her.

We are not that sort of man.

We're the men who are learning, who are getting better. We're the one who take the risks. We're the ones who are testing what we've read here and other places. You might not have gotten this girl back, but you did get her.

You did get her. Never forget that.

You have areas where you need to improve. Identify them and keep taking risks. And remember, above all else, you are the prize.

 

[evil_tomato]

UPDATE:
So we've been messaging each other today and she comes out and tells me that she doesnt know what to do but said his a great guy, his no me but she loves me otherwise she wouldnt have sacrificed breaking up with me for him...that really hurt and kind of contradicts everything shes been saying. So i tell her that its best if we part ways because i have somebody else who im seeing and i like her alot. She admitted to be jealous about it but was happy for me and says she would still like to remain friends but i dunno.....