Whatever you do, don't take Julian's advice... blowing things out of proportion is exactly what a good manager/boss looks for. If I was the owner of the company, and you blew up like that, I'd fire you on the spot because you are dangerous. I've worked at places where the boss DIDN'T fire people like that, a week later they flipped and started throwing stuff around... MAN DO I MISS THAT JOB!
For you, AFTER you commit the crime, and you ARE busted, than you DON'T go looking for a way to LIE about the fact if your boss KNOWS the truth. Pay attention to the CAPS friend, they are what matter... THEY are also something YOU cannot control when your boss finally does confront you.
There are HUNDREDS of ways to weed out criminals, the good criminals destroy evidence... they plan ahead, they get lawyers to lie for them... Don't believe everything you see in the movies
Your boss found your smoking "device"
Care to say what bulk, value, and method of use your smoking 'device' has?
I'm assuming you just threw a pipe in the back... Don't know why, seems like your rubbing it in his face that you can get away with it on the job...
What it comes down to in the end though, is how trustworthy you are... your boss heard YOUR cough out back one day. Yeah, he's heard your cough when you cleared your throat last week, he KNOWS what it sounds like. He saw your eyes, and the way you shifted your gaze, to hide your glazed globes.
It's been an ENTIRE damned week, think your boss hasn't come up with a few NLP techniques to throw at you in the middle of your sappy (lie) routine? He wants to hear your voice crack... he'll listen to your story alright. Yeah, he'll listen so close, and he'll make sure you repeat it with a passion... that he'll hear that w e a k part of your lie, the part that'll fall apart if he accusees you...
than what?
Your fired.