I've lurked on these forums for about 4 months, ever since my wife skipped out and I have had to realign my thinking for divorce. Basically I went through the worst rejection one could have, that of a wife leaving for another guy.
But thats where I stood in March. I have really worked on myself throught those months. I'm 30, 6'0 and around 245. I was at 305 and powerlifting in January. After things started going south, I changed my focus from power to trimming down. I run now every other day and hit a high rep workout at the gym. I've watched the weight fall off and now am near the body I want. I have been hit on by women recently for the first time since I was in my early twenties but am still in the RAFC phase and my confidence is still low.
Well to the kicking myself part. This past week, since my divorce is only a few weeks away to being official (I haven't seen my wife in 4 months) I've started week one of the DJ boot camp. I find I am comfortable locking eyes and saying hi to strangers which is the first step. Anyhow, I went to a friends hawaiin luau/wedding reception yesterday afternoon. The plan was, since he was buying all this beer for his family that hardly drinks we and the rest of the drinking friends would hang out there till it ends and take all the unopen cases back to his place for a party that night.
As soon as I walk in and look over the people seated I see the hottest girl there. Dark tan, auburn curled hair, great body. She immediatly looks up at me and I look at her for a moment and then flash her a friendly smile. She does the same and then I get pulled aside by some of my friends. Through out the entire day I keep seeing her looking over at me. It was like we kept flirting with our eyes. Problem is I still am uncomfortable after this. Not because I'm unconfident to approach but I feel sleazy because my marriage isn't final yet. I'm technically still unavailable and It makes me uncofortable with that hanging in my head.
So later I approach the bar and she's up there getting a drink. I say hi and she does the same and stands there for a second with me. I made fun of the way she was hiding her drink (she was drinking sprite in a can and had a napkin wrapped around it). We started conversing but a bunch of her relatives were walking in and they butted in and dragged her off. She kept giving me this look of 'sorry' as she was going out to look at their new car. I brought the drinks back to the table and later found out that she was my friends (the grooms) cousin.
I never get a chance to talk to her there again and we packed up the beer and headed over to the newlyweds house. I asked the groom if she was going and he said probably not as she needed to head back to North Carolina (from Ohio).
So later we're all sitting around and drinking and apparently she calls and actually asked him if I was there and she headed over. I didn't know about this. I thought she just showed up. My friend called me today and told me she asked that before she came over. We were all sitting around a fire pit all night talking and making fun of each other and I kept getting signals from her to approach. But I didn't. When I was with the group, I seemed the life of the party but when she came around me on my own I couldn't THINK of what to say. I would literally be standing there going through all this stuff in my mind of what to say to her. Looking back I now realize I could have said anything. I could have just blurted out give me your number or asked her if she wanted to hook up next time she came in town and I know I would have had her. But alas I'm still married. I'm still insecure and I'm still rebuilding my own self image and self-esteem.
Today I am absolutely kicking myself. She gave absolutely every signal I could get and she was hot as hell. She worked with female models as a marketing consultant in North Carolina. She kept telling me how she was single. We were the only two 'single' people there and that kept coming up too.
Anyone else here go through a divorce and have to go through the whole 'get on the band wagon' yet. Oh well, just an introduction and example of where I am at right now.
But thats where I stood in March. I have really worked on myself throught those months. I'm 30, 6'0 and around 245. I was at 305 and powerlifting in January. After things started going south, I changed my focus from power to trimming down. I run now every other day and hit a high rep workout at the gym. I've watched the weight fall off and now am near the body I want. I have been hit on by women recently for the first time since I was in my early twenties but am still in the RAFC phase and my confidence is still low.
Well to the kicking myself part. This past week, since my divorce is only a few weeks away to being official (I haven't seen my wife in 4 months) I've started week one of the DJ boot camp. I find I am comfortable locking eyes and saying hi to strangers which is the first step. Anyhow, I went to a friends hawaiin luau/wedding reception yesterday afternoon. The plan was, since he was buying all this beer for his family that hardly drinks we and the rest of the drinking friends would hang out there till it ends and take all the unopen cases back to his place for a party that night.
As soon as I walk in and look over the people seated I see the hottest girl there. Dark tan, auburn curled hair, great body. She immediatly looks up at me and I look at her for a moment and then flash her a friendly smile. She does the same and then I get pulled aside by some of my friends. Through out the entire day I keep seeing her looking over at me. It was like we kept flirting with our eyes. Problem is I still am uncomfortable after this. Not because I'm unconfident to approach but I feel sleazy because my marriage isn't final yet. I'm technically still unavailable and It makes me uncofortable with that hanging in my head.
So later I approach the bar and she's up there getting a drink. I say hi and she does the same and stands there for a second with me. I made fun of the way she was hiding her drink (she was drinking sprite in a can and had a napkin wrapped around it). We started conversing but a bunch of her relatives were walking in and they butted in and dragged her off. She kept giving me this look of 'sorry' as she was going out to look at their new car. I brought the drinks back to the table and later found out that she was my friends (the grooms) cousin.
I never get a chance to talk to her there again and we packed up the beer and headed over to the newlyweds house. I asked the groom if she was going and he said probably not as she needed to head back to North Carolina (from Ohio).
So later we're all sitting around and drinking and apparently she calls and actually asked him if I was there and she headed over. I didn't know about this. I thought she just showed up. My friend called me today and told me she asked that before she came over. We were all sitting around a fire pit all night talking and making fun of each other and I kept getting signals from her to approach. But I didn't. When I was with the group, I seemed the life of the party but when she came around me on my own I couldn't THINK of what to say. I would literally be standing there going through all this stuff in my mind of what to say to her. Looking back I now realize I could have said anything. I could have just blurted out give me your number or asked her if she wanted to hook up next time she came in town and I know I would have had her. But alas I'm still married. I'm still insecure and I'm still rebuilding my own self image and self-esteem.
Today I am absolutely kicking myself. She gave absolutely every signal I could get and she was hot as hell. She worked with female models as a marketing consultant in North Carolina. She kept telling me how she was single. We were the only two 'single' people there and that kept coming up too.
Anyone else here go through a divorce and have to go through the whole 'get on the band wagon' yet. Oh well, just an introduction and example of where I am at right now.
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