LTR's - the big hoax

[PuertoRican_Lover]

WHAT? LTR's are a scam???

It is the natural order of things!!!

Natural order of things - sexuality defined and explained

 

[penkitten]

so if 50 % fail and 50% stay strong...
you must question how you see the cup , half empty or half full.
if you see the cup half empty, you are too afraid to drink more and get nurishment.
you need to look deeper inside for instruction before getting into a ltr that you are afraid to commit to.

 

[PimpNHard]

PR_L I am currently reading your thread about "sexuality" and it seems like great material. I'll let you know what I think when I am finished.

I just want to let you guys know I don't believe that ALL LTRs are bad, but I believe a great percentage of them are false on some level. Think about how many LTRs you've had. Think about how many chicks told you they were in love with you and wanted to be with you. Most of the time when I hear that now (which I do very often) I just laugh and say "Are you serious?!?". Guys lets not kid ourselves; we live in a highly interactive, fast-paced society. Majority of the people out here are selfish and women seem to be at the forefront of the line. I'm just so tired of hearing guys whining about why some chick doesn't take their call anymore or asking how to salvage an already heavily deteriorated LTR.

I always believe it better to face the truth and its really simple if you sit back and take the time to look at it. Most of us (if not educated properly) will go through I series of LTRs looking for that "one special girl" only to pick up alot of heartache, confusion, and bitterness, then when we are not looking - boom! - we meet that special one and get married, then IF we are LUCKY that will last. But the truth is if you focus on the LTR you will probably end up with a lot more pain than is necessary just to end up with one girl.

LTRs, seem to be the goal of life for alot of men, but the true DJ will only be interested in improving himself and making himself happy and contemplate that MAYBE a chick will choose to jjoin his fun (for a lifetime). But, honestly, look at all the drama, lying, and infidelity you find in the common LTR. Is it really worth it? In my opinion when that right "one" for you comes along you won't miss it or lose it and it should not be complicated.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by PimpNHard
PR_L I am currently reading your thread about "sexuality" and it seems like great material. I'll let you know what I think when I am finished.

I just want to let you guys know I don't believe that ALL LTRs are bad, but I believe a great percentage of them are false on some level. Think about how many LTRs you've had. Think about how many chicks told you they were in love with you and wanted to be with you. Most of the time when I hear that now (which I do very often) I just laugh and say "Are you serious?!?". Guys lets not kid ourselves; we live in a highly interactive, fast-paced society. Majority of the people out here are selfish and women seem to be at the forefront of the line. I'm just so tired of hearing guys whining about why some chick doesn't take their call anymore or asking how to salvage an already heavily deteriorated LTR.

I always believe it better to face the truth and its really simple if you sit back and take the time to look at it. Most of us (if not educated properly) will go through I series of LTRs looking for that "one special girl" only to pick up alot of heartache, confusion, and bitterness, then when we are not looking - boom! - we meet that special one and get married, then IF we are LUCKY that will last. But the truth is if you focus on the LTR you will probably end up with a lot more pain than is necessary just to end up with one girl.

LTRs, seem to be the goal of life for alot of men, but the true DJ will only be interested in improving himself and making himself happy and contemplate that MAYBE a chick will choose to jjoin his fun (for a lifetime). But, honestly, look at all the drama, lying, and infidelity you find in the common LTR. Is it really worth it? In my opinion when that right "one" for you comes along you won't miss it or lose it and it should not be complicated.

The REASON that most LTRs fail is desperation and lack of restraint.

Society pushes "having a girlfriend" / "having a boyfriend" as a major indicator of social "success", so everyone's in a hurry to hook up with someone for the long haul. So when people meet each other, as soon as they start dating, they COMPLETELY jump the gun and go into "long-term" mode before they have properly evaluated each other.

The first month or two of dating should be a time to evaluate your compatibility with the person. Most people not only certify their partner as a potential long-term mate well in advance, they completely fail to evaluate the other AT ALL, because they are so desperate to find "The One".

As a result, they see drama early-on, but since they've already certified this person in their mind, they try to either ignore or rationalize the drama until it builds, and builds, and builds, and finally busts up the whole relationship in a giant emotional fireball.

This happens way too often due to unrealistic expectations and lack of proper education (i.e. parenting) in this society.

You're absolutely RIGHT that when the right one comes along, you'll KNOW. Most people these days KNOW that the girl they're dating/marrying is no-good for them...but in their desperation to get married, they don't listen to their heart/gut and end up getting burned.

 

[PimpNHard]

squirrels,

Couldn't have said it better myself!

 

[frivolousz21]

I think i know...


we have been together for abotu 3 weeks.


but we were friends for nearly 2 yrs before that.

thats why I said being friends first can help..I know her and know her tendencies and habits.

its a nice thing to have in such a short relationship thus far.

but this women is a potential canidate for me.

she is a:

virgin
she is funny as hell( a lot like me)
cute
good hearted
with morals and values from her religious beggenings.

lets hope ole friv here doenst FYCK UP THIS GOOD WOMEN

:woo:

 

[frivolousz21]

this I agree with you on Tiburon 6

 

[Lost In the Seas]

the difference of mindset between afc or determined men, "she's the one, we are together for life" and the usual women "it won't be long with him anyways" is understandable, and actually quite true. I have been that exact situation myself.

I agree with that theory, and we should change that.

 

[Sh0t]

50% of marriages fail

Of the 50% that stay together, which percentage are happy? I'd say, not a huge chunk.

So the prospects are very bleak.


Marrying a virgin is just asking to be cheated on.

 

[frivolousz21]

Marrying a virgin is just asking to be cheated on.

thats not true whatsoever

 

[PimpNHard]

Actually friv,

Think about it... a virgin has NO experience. It doesn't matter what her motivation was for being one, once she has had sex she no longer will be. Women are extremely curious creatures by nature (ie: Original Sin; Adam and Eve) and trust me, once she has sex she's going to get CURIOUS. A virgin has NO experince and she will want that at some point in time. She may get bored or just want to know how someone else feels.

Guys we gotta stop looking past our own blatant human nature and be honest with ourselves. A virgin being faithful may have been possible in the horse-drawn carriage days, but in these days of hi speed communication there are so many ways for a woman to explore her curiosity.

 

[frivolousz21]

have you guys ever had a women in love with you?

have you ever been in love ???????



I realize when people talk about love on this board...they immedietely shoot it down.

when a women is in love with you...it wont matter...she wont cheat, she wont explorer her curiosity.....

i know this..Ive had 2 diff women in love with me...and they were loyal to the bitter end of both relationships.


Ill take my chances with a virgin..and be her first rather than a manipulative women who lies lies lies

 

[Squid]

Dude

I highly doubt your conspiracy theory regarding women. It isn't that they "know that LTR's don't work", the problem is that they don't know what it is they want at all.

The problem with marriage remains the expectations people have with it. Getting married too early and not experiencing life is another problem as well. It is a fact that marriages after the age of 30 have a significantly lower divorce rate, it's all about living in your twenties and finally maturing before taking the big step.

another thing to think about is the statement

"50% of marriages fail

Of the 50% that stay together, which percentage are happy? I'd say, not a huge chunk.

So the prospects are very bleak."

This is partially true, there are many unhappy marriages, but there are also many divorces that didn't need to happen either. It's a fact that in a LTR (I'm talking over 30 years lets say) that people will fall in and out of love several times. There will be difficult times, in this day and age people bail out too soon when the first hint of trouble happens when they may have been able to work it out. Granted, some relationships didn't have a hope in hell from the beginning, but some could have made it with some effort.

Nothing worth having comes without a struggle, the same with relationships. I know several married couples that almost called it quits, and actually admit "I couldn't stand him/her anymore, I wanted out", but stayed together, got through it, and are now happier than they have ever been. We have become a society of quitters unfortunately. A LTR or marriage is what you make of it, no more, no less.

 

[frivolousz21]

I agree that the more maturity that someone gets the better chance of survival for a relationship.


but not everyone is the same....im not going to change my ways or my life, my views, my beliefs, based on percentages.

I am with the best girl ive ever found..and will take a RISK with this one.

if it doenst work out so fycking what..I know what im doing.


I dont think bad of you..but its frustrating that 95 percent of guys here are KBJ's and AFC's giving me terrible advice everytime i ask for it.

why bother!

 

[Squid]

frivolousz

I wasn't trying to tell you to wait or that your too young, I was only providing some facts. Hell, only you know your situation, only you are informed enough to make the decision. If you feel it's right then go for it, it is very difficult to find someone that can make you happy over the long haul, if you've found her then great. Just remember, try not to give up at the first sign of trouble, there will be trouble in a relationship with any woman at some point in time, the trick is to get through it. If she feels the same way then your set.

Best of luck, I hope it works out for you.

 

[frivolousz21]

thanks man!

I appreciate that..and I dont know if this women is for me..for life!

but im not going to cry like a baby if she isnt....I will work to make it work..and if she doenst..then its done...oh well.shyt happens!

wat can u do?

I am here to do my best..and if she wants in...then hey there we go!


thanks

 

[Lost In the Seas]

falling in love is one of the best things in life, it absolutely is, nothing is probably close to be in comparison to that, not even winning a lottery (which i had, although a medium one), but finding the woman to be able to be fallen in love with is exceptionally rare and an extremely valuable gift beyond any value, and right now i will probably pay anything to find and know one of those women again (just had my heart broken, and in opposite of love it's probably one of the most depressing and sad feelings, one that you can't get over with for quite a long duration of time )

it's true the woman won't cheat on you if she's in love with you, but in a LTR such as marriage, there will be time when things are hard and her love and loyalty towards you isn't as great, and espcially for a virgin, it can means something very serious with another man

 

[frivolousz21]

lost in the seas-

I agree u completely..and if and when that happens..then I suppose I deal with it then

 

[Luveno]

One cannot blame the concept of an LTR. It isn't a hoax. It is just a concept. It has no will.


The hoax is the one men play on themselves as they fester in a relationship that does not IMPROVE their life.

I remember having a conversation with an old roomate of mine. He was dating this girl for a year, and was wondering if he should break up with her. So I asked him:

"Does being with her make your life better?"

He replied with:

"It doesn't make it worse"

So I advised him to pull the plug, and he did. Now he is dating a much more attractive, wealthier, more interesting girl.

The main idea here , that is SORELY overlooked, is that if a relationship is taking too much effort and isn't fun anymore, END IT, no matter how hot the girl is!


On the topic of marriage, that is a hoax, and all men should avoid it. There are no benefits to it, besides miniscule tax cuts. You could be better serving yourself learning about investing than getting tax breaks by giving away your freedom.

 

[Tazman]

Of all the LTRs I've seen, they seem to last as long as the stronger person wants it to. There always seems to be one person who has the "upper hand" and they are the ones who ulimately decide how long it will last. Almost like the relationship is a balance of insecurities or something. If both people are very confident than the relationship may not last that long.