LTRs and problems with intimacy

[MachinePT]

Do 34-42 yrs age appropriate things. Be diverse if your dealing with multiple ladies. Your foundation should be what supports you.

Thanks for the reply.
What do you suggest?

Its been a bit difficult to get out of the norm since i prefer hanging around with my younger mates (that also know game, tragically ) and all the guys my age just stay home and watch Netflix :/ or play boardgames.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Thanks for the reply.
What do you suggest?

Its been a bit difficult to get out of the norm since i prefer hanging around with my younger mates (that also know game, tragically ) and all the guys my age just stay home and watch Netflix :/ or play boardgames.

I dunno. Think about it. Tie to a social fabric in that group. Stay with that. Stragglers outside that group can come and go. Its way easier that way. Your fabric will work for you.

 

[Suave88]

Next

Next year im 39

I will PM you.

 

[Suave88]

Thanks for the reply.
What do you suggest?

Its been a bit difficult to get out of the norm since i prefer hanging around with my younger mates (that also know game, tragically ) and all the guys my age just stay home and watch Netflix :/ or play boardgames.

The 10 year gap is bad when it comes to sex. You need an

Maybe it's the long exposure to porn , dunno. feels like i havent got all out of my system yet.
So you keep the same intensity of desire for the same person after months ?

Why do you look at porno? You mentioned she is wife material. Do you Jack off when watching porn? Jacking off helps to last longer in sex, but can get you tire too.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The 10 year gap is bad when it comes to sex. You need an

Why do you look at porno? You mentioned she is wife material. Do you Jack off when watching porn? Jacking off helps to last longer but can get you tire too.

10 years what?

 

[btownbuck2012]

Hey guys, been a lurker for some time in this forum, learned tons through you guys, and this is my first post.

I have been noticing some issues in me with LTRs , in wich after about 3 months of banging the same girl, i start to lose interest in the interaction.

I mantain the relationship as long as i can because the girls are fun and and wife material, but somehow my sex drive plunders after few months. Thats when always find myself trying to sabotage the relationship, thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side.

Not quite sure what im asking here, but as anyone gone through the same thing?

What was your childhood like and your relationship with your parents?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

10 years what?

I get it. If Dude never responded and it doesnt faze him he maintains the keys to his kingdom.

 

[Suave88]

I get it. If Dude never responded and it doesnt faze him he maintains the keys to his kingdom.

I am busy. I will reply on weekend.

 

[Newbee2]

You could find a BPD woman, she keeps you on your toes.. and are crazy in bed too, not borring after few month..

(sarcasm may have occurred in following message)

 

[MachinePT]

What was your childhood like and your relationship with your parents?

Single mom. Over controlled / protected. You get the picture

 

[Suave88]

Single mom. Over controlled / protected. You get the picture

Kind of the same here, but I served in military. Father didn't teach a ****. But mom lectured me all the time "Watch for MF trying to touch you and want to give you a ride and tell you they know your father or me, stay the fvck away from them."

 

[btownbuck2012]

Single mom. Over controlled / protected. You get the picture

Oh I get the picture as that was me too.

 

[jaymbrs]

If you've developed an addiction to porn, you need to find a woman who looks like your ideal pornstar and can satisfy those physical desires for you. I struggled with this in the past and managed to get with a girl like that and the intimacy never died down. It didn't work out with her because she wanted to get married and I didn't. That was 8 years ago and I'm still okay with that decision.

 

[jaymbrs]

Your problem is not intimacy, you have sex problems, this doesn't mean you have impotence, but you are with the wrong woman. Just because the relationship is intimate does not mean it relates to sex. Intimacy means sharing, openness, mutuality.
You also dont have attraction problems, as I understand you believe the girl is wife material, so you like the girl in the exterior, but when it comes to sex and orgams you dont get the right climax.

You are in a ying ying or yang yang relationship. This is like magnetic attraction/repulsion, like the poles north and south - and - or + and + connection.

You know the rule different poles are attracted, while equal poles repulse.

You need a different woman and she needs different man. If you are yang, you need a ying female and if you are ying, then you need a yang female.

You do not need this forum because you don't have an attraction's problem. SoSuave is about PUA, it about how to get the girl out and to the bed. It is about picking up women. If You don't like the girl in sex, then there is nothing that can be done, other than finding a different girl you like to fvck.

Look, my father used to say "any pvssy will milk your cuck", but if so, why did he run out the front door with the excuse of visiting the market, but actually intended to be in bed with other women than my mother. He didnt like my mother, but she was wife material.

That is my point of view....which is based on some readings that shaped my believe. The material source comes from Oriental culture, not Western civilisation.
This is an alternative view/opinion to the view anyone can give you in here.

Highly disagree with this. Sosuave is about teaching men to develop self worth and for them to use that to either pick up women, have better relationships, and/or to be happier in general.

 

[jaymbrs]

Most guys who are addicted to porn are struggling to even TALK to girls. Telling them they can only break their porn addictions by fulfilling their porn-fueled fantasies is.....beyond....useless advice. Looks like whomever you're conversing with is on my block list, probably for being a self-professed "INCEL," which makes that advice even more ludicrous. Try just advising him to get out of the house. One step at a time.

He doesn't sound like he struggles to talk nor meet women. So if he wants a woman who will hold his attention sexually, he could follow what I said.

 

[Suave88]

Highly disagree with this. Sosuave is about teaching men to develop self worth and for them to use that to either pick up women, have better relationships, and/or to be happier in general.

His problem is sex, not intimacy or attraction or mind set. Not all women feel the same and not all men are the same in sex.

 

[Suave88]

If you've developed an addiction to porn, you need to find a woman who looks like your ideal pornstar and can satisfy those physical desires for you. I struggled with this in the past and managed to get with a girl like that and the intimacy never died down. It didn't work out with her because she wanted to get married and I didn't. That was 8 years ago and I'm still okay with that decision.

Totally incorrect. Looks is secondary when it comes to sex. Some women want to fvck man while others want to be fvcked. Does she likes to be down or does she likes to be on top. Yan women want to be on top while yin want to be under. Climax is never the same. Some women get wet faster some come with heated pvssy like the seats in a luxury car, some are just ask cold as a bycicle seat in winter time. Some have a great look, but know nothing. Some last hours, some minutes. Some have large capacity, some middian capacity, and some are small capacity. Meaning, they cannot handle large cvcks. Some are elephant, some are mule, some are ant. You won't know until sex time.

 

[Suave88]

Next

Next year im 39

Ok, so I will assume you were born in 1981. You are a yin guy. And 38-10 is 28. Your girl is also ying. This union works in a social aspect, but not in sex... I am sure she is better than the hand, but there can be an improvement. You mentioned she is wife material, so I assume she is good looking or nice, loyal, and a honest person. You should keep her, but start to look at other prospects. You could also marry her, but look at other women for a change.

I can tell you who is yang, and get well with you. So girls born in years (1988, this is your best shot) 1990, 1992. You may deal with girls born in 1982 and 1980, and also 1978.

The other women may posses social issues. Communication may be a problem.

I deal a lot with this. The women I like don't communicate with me smooth, and the ones I don't like, can hold a conversation with me easily. This is many times very challenging for me. The passion becomes a torment. Frustrations mounts on. However, I don't have the sex problem you have. I have had some experience with women I don't get along well in sex, but such relations are temporary.

Now, my advice is practical and the source comes from my own personal experience, observations and reading of oriental culture.

I cannot teach about attraction or pick up lines. You seem to be doing well in this area.
You should not go around asking women, their date of birth. However, I am good at telepathy. Yesterday, there were some female coworkers smoking and chatting at work. I hover over the group, because I am interested in one and they all said their age. Don't go out asking about this, just date the woman and if you dont like her, move on.

You should think about your previous girlfriends and make a contrast between that girl and this one.
Alternatively, all women in escort business are yang.. So if you want to know the difference quick enough, you know what to do.

 

[MachinePT]

Thank you for all your replies.
Read all you said and i think i really need to heal myself from high stimulous high reward behaviours (booze, porn, chasing *****), thank god i dont like drugs.

Have 4 girls interested in me currently, i like the attention, but dont have enough drive to go through the process seduction with them right now. Thats when i see something is wrong. Think i know what i have to fix.
Thanx for all the help

 

[logicallefty]

OP I've dumped so many women in my life for this or that. It became such an easy thing for me to do. I've been fortunate to always have options to move on to the next one, like you, if I wanted to. Let me tell you what happened to me a couple months ago which tweaked my thought process on the matter. My 16 x year old daughter has a boyfriend who is 18 who I really like a lot. They have been in a LTR for 2.5 years. He is everything in a man I would ever want for my daughter. WELL, a couple of months ago she told me she was thinking about dumping him because she had a connection with this 15 x year old kid at school. This was in a text, so I had a chance to craft my answer carefully. The first thing that went through my head was "Sh|t, I need to put my like for the BF to the side and be objective for her in my answer to this." Then the next thing was "Do I want to teach her to be like me, dumping a person on a dime? Is that the right way for a dad to teach his daughter? " And I decided "No, it's not".. So here is what I came up with. I told her before she dumps him, to do these two MENTAL TESTS with herself, in her head only, and to be 100% honest with herself:

1) Hypothetically think about if she dumps him. Then decides she makes a mistake. Tries to get him back. And he says "fvck you leave me alone I never want to talk to you again... I asked my daughter to really think about how she would feel in this scenerio

AND

2) I asked her to think about her routine. She hangs with the BF 5-6 days a week. I told her to think about every day of her week one day a time from Monday - Sunday. Think about each day she would normally be with the BF. And then think about what she would do to occupy her time if she didn't have his.

So what happened? She said with #1 she would be crushed and depressed and with #2 she would be bored out of her mind.

So, they are still together as of today.