LTR tip...IMPORTANT!!!

[tryin 2 play]

ok so there is not too much as far as LTR tips on this board. I think some of us can use this tip....some of you must have a steady girl/girlfriend?? She dosn't even have to really be your girlfriend, as long as she isa chick you have been seeing/hookin up with for any length of time. And yes, this tip has been touched upon before, but it NEEDS to be reitterated.

This comes from my experience with 3 serious girls, and I have just now, with my current girl, realized what I have been doing. When i start seeing a girl, I am the guy that every one of you AFCs want to be. ****y, funny, confident, dominant, laid back, attitude, etc. you name it. Girls LOVE this, as this site says. My problem has been that after some time in my LTR, i develop feelings and go a bit AFC. I all of a sudden care when my chick goes out, ask her questions, call too much, etc. An example with my urrent girlfriend of almost a year:

A few months a go we were talking baout when we first started haging out. She tells me

"we would have the BEST time together, and then you wouldnt call me for almost a week! I would be waiting every day, thinking is he going to call me? That is all i could think about!!"

Do you see this? I had her absolutely HOOKED. But recently she pretyt much tells me to back off, that im all up her ass. This is for a few reasons. I call too much. I see her WAYYY too much. We sometimes see eachother for a week straight(it has been a lot because of the summer time, no school). I show WAY too much interest in what she is doing. When we first started, i honeslty DID NOT CARE. I was wayy too busy and didn't bother calling her, and would be very non chalant and laid back about her life. I was the guy with stuff to do, and was too busy to deal with er drama. I was dominant in bed, and we fvcked every time we saw each other. I took her when i wanted her. I called the shots where we went out, when, how and with who.

Now, I ASK her what she wants to do, i am indecisive, and overall just a pvssy. This is terrible. Now we fight ever day almost, and i end up supplicatiing.

I am going to stop rambling, i hope that you can see from my post that you should act pretty much exactly the way you did when you first started seeing each other. DO NOT get all wussy becuase she is your girl. She still wants a MAN, not a boy, not a girlfriend, not a wimp...a MAN. I'm tlaking like a guy from the movie 300...those uys are MEN. Take my adivce, this is from y expereience, and me observing friends nd family members.

If it makes any difference, we are both 21. She is far above me looks wise, i have a good body, but my face isnt so handsome. She is a VERY sexy chick, and could get wit any dude she really wanted to. it was my persona that attracted her, and if i dont get back to that, i am going to lose her.

 

[oranges]

Speaking with actions and not words is the best way to show her your the man she started off with IMO

 

[tryin 2 play]

How do you recommend showing to her that you are the guy that you USED to be? I feel as if she has me pigeon-holed now to this insecure little wimp orsomething. How do i get out?

Last night she was being VERY bossy during sex. I told her afterwards not to be so bossy. She used to tell me when we first started having sex that she liked it so much becuase i was aggressive and took control. Now she is trying to take control. What the fvck? She said that she wants to be in control now. What is going on here?? Becuase now if i act aggressively like i used to, she says i am being bossy and forceful. I dont understnd this.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

How do you recommend showing to her that you are the guy that you USED to be? I feel as if she has me pigeon-holed now to this insecure little wimp orsomething. How do i get out?....

By deciding who you are authentically and sticking with that personality it instead of acting in a manner that you will eventually stop someday (like where you are now).

 

[Holland]

Last night she was being VERY bossy during sex. I told her afterwards not to be so bossy. She used to tell me when we first started having sex that she liked it so much becuase i was aggressive and took control. Now she is trying to take control. What the fvck? She said that she wants to be in control now. What is going on here?? Becuase now if i act aggressively like i used to, she says i am being bossy and forceful. I dont understnd this.

Dude, you can't logicly convince your woman that you want to be in control.
You need to grab her by her hair (not to harsh, but definetly not to gentle) and MANHANDLE that girl!
She'll love you for it. If your congruent and authentic, that is. She'll probably test you, like saying you're being bossy like you mentioned. That's why you got to get your shiit together. If she says something like that just amp up the dominance even more. You are the MAN and she is the WOMAN. This is natural. Act like a MAN or keep wondering why you feel so ****ed up and out of control.

And you better do it right ****ING NEXT TIME you meet her. Don't waste any more time and TAKE CHARGE NOW.
If you don't take control back over your relationship she'll only become more and more disrespectful and eventually kiss your weak-ass goodbye.

It's easy, just listen some good male dominant music, mentally rehearse it, whatever. Power is the ultimate afrodisiac. So you better use it.

Good luck, bro.

(BTW: I faced the same problem a few weeks ago, although in less intensity. I started acting more tame and shiit and my girl started finding faults with our relationship. I realised that I was becoming less dominant and that it was the cause of her dissatisfaction (and mine). I fixed it, she stopped *****ing, sex started getting better and now I can enjoy the fruits of being a MAN again )

 

[theguy351]

just try and be the guy that you were, while combining it with some of the things that come with being in a relationship, its a fine line and every girl has her prefernce so.

 

[Duke]

Yeah, this tip is right on. What I find happens is that ,slowly but surely, you start becoming so enveloped in the girl's world that she can no longer be in YOUR world, because YOUR world has become so infused with hers that YOUR world is no longer unique.

Basically, you start caring about her too much and you figure that now that she's developed deeper feelings for you, you can relax and stop being the man that attracted her. You can be more logical, you can stop working out so much, you can just stick to your video games and stop working on your social life, because she has BECOME your social life.

Now, at the same time, insidiously, she will encourage or become an "enabler" for this behavior. She will try to beta you, presumably out of some deep-rooted evolutionary mechanism designed to make you into a provider male instead of an alpha male. You've got to resist it! Keep doing the same things that attracted her in the beginning. The relationship can become deeper, while at the same time, you KEEP YOUR BALLS for yourself instead of letting her wear them for earrings.

Mostly this comes down to continuing to live and improve all aspects of your life, just as you would if she weren't around. This way, you maintain your own unique "world" or "reality" and simultaneously never become boring or predictable.

 

[wolf116]

The thing is, it's so easy to go back to the old ways and have her wanting you again. Girls love the emotional rollercoaster. I love changing my character all the time. One week I will not contact her at all, and will not return her calls. Then I will get her flowers and make a candle lit dinner. Then she will do something out of line and I will get my stuff and be gone until she wants a fvck. Then I will chat up her friends. That’s what I like doing anyway.

 

[Blusher]

She is far above me looks wise, i have a good body, but my face isnt so handsome. She is a VERY sexy chick, and could get wit any dude she really wanted to. it was my persona that attracted her, and if i dont get back to that, i am going to lose her.

So you find yourself ugly an you supplicate and call her all the time... Seems like you suffer from a lack of self esteem bro.

The moment your guts feel tells you that you may be losing her, that means you lost her already.

Move on, you're 21 and obviously in no way capable of managing a LTR at this stage of your life.

 

[eko]

wish i put this to use earlier. Very good advice though. One girl i was with was very bossy. I started caring about her too much and supplicating and telling her that she was special to me etc... and she lost interest almost overnight.

 

[Jon55]

Wow I was exactly in your shoes. I even had the same questions as you did (which got answered by others).


Guys, this is so true. If you're on of these dudes (I know I am) you cannot forget who you are. Don't let the pvssy take over!! It isn't inside you to begin with, so don't give it the chance to come in. I've done it too many times and lost a lot of amazing girls. Fortunately I know better now.

 

[eko]

Wow I was exactly in your shoes. I even had the same questions as you did (which got answered by others).


Guys, this is so true. If you're on of these dudes (I know I am) you cannot forget who you are. Don't let the pvssy take over!! It isn't inside you to begin with, so don't give it the chance to come in. I've done it too many times and lost a lot of amazing girls. Fortunately I know better now.

YES. DO NOT LET THAT PART OF YOU COME OUT. IT WANTS TO SO BADLY, BUT IF YOU DO, THEN YOU PRETTY MUCH LOSE. This is some of the best advice. Just keep on being who you are. Don't let her take over your life.

 

[Nighthawk]

Always keep one eye on your Manometer.

 

[tryin 2 play]

Yea i have been working on this. I am limiting the calls a lot. More and more, when she asks me to do something, i am "busy", whether i really am or not. I found that by me limiting the calls, she is calling a lot more, and wondering what i am up to. But sometimes she manages to flip the script, and i get insecure again.

The part i don't understand is that i am not insecure in ANY other areas of my life, only this one. Ehh, whatever, i am truly working on it. I know exactly what i am doing to come off as insecure, and when i feel myself starting to go there, i try damn hard to stop it. The only problem is i htink she will always have that picture of me in her mind(the insecure me), so it is going to be very hard to break. It's comming along though, i can feel it.

And to be honest, it feels better when i am not constantly calling her or seeing her, for some odd reason it is making me feel a little more confident. Maybe telling me ireally dont NEED her.