LTR now Pregnant and problems

[Epimanes]

I will write it out again but shorter. John1234 .. sorry you find yourself in this situation. Is it possible that your both missing the mark when it comes to making each other feel loved? As in Your efforts to keep your love alive in the turmoil of the pregnancy (women can be quite crazy when they are preggo). I say this because I have been through it... you do everything YOU think is right or that you THINK she needs or wants but really your best efforts are failing and the relationship continues to downward spiral and you cant quite put your finger on it. Well .. I am telling you ... your probably not meeting her top emotional needs ... for most women its intimate conversation as a #1 need in a relationship and men its sex .. I would PLAN A your GF (plan a is meet her emotional needs for a period of time without expectations of reciprocation for a short period of time and watch her love bank (everyone you meet and have interactions with opens a hypothetical love bank account in your bank) your interactions either positive or negative determine if you make deposits or withdrawls from this account. If your arguing with her .. your going to drive her love bank into the red .. and she will dislike you .. and if it continues she will hate you. SO stop it.... Be calm .. be a don juan... be a man.. all the while you meet her needs. I know of a questionaire that you two can fill out to determine what your needs are .. **** .. i didnt even know what my wifes needs were until just over a year ago ... love is a mathematical equasion .. and you can fall in love with anyone if they are meeting your top needs.

I will post the link if you want it .. if not then o well.

 

[Epimanes]

Cant ... im being shut down for some reason .. im just trying to help.

 

[Epimanes]

lol .. when i try and PM you .. i get this...

Epimanes, you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:

Your user account may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.

 

[Epimanes]

if a mod could plz fix this PMing issue .. that would be great!

 

[scrouds]

I'm sure its mine.

Sometimes I think that she makes a good argument , like her career is at risk and she cannot cope with pregnancy as getting depressed. But how can a grown woman in her Thirties behave like this.
The truth is since she became pregnant she has become even more of an irrational and unstable person and this is not helping at all.

She is very angry with me when we speak, but I just accept it.

She has pretty much destroyed my confidence blaming me for all the bad in the relationship. I feel like a bad guy and I don't think I am a bad person?I don't think I'm selfish and I don't think I am inconsiderate. I will be crushed if she aborts the kid and dumps me, I would feel too low and may become depressed.

What do you suggest I do in the coming weeks?

Ask her if its yours. Call her a cheating *****. Make her get rid of it. Dodge the bullet.

 

[yuppaz]

Not to sound like a d*ck here, but you sound very immature to make the decisions your making and it sounds like you and her both and her family are just freaking rediculous. You two should seriously not have kids, you are still too child-like yourselves to raise a healthy kid.

 

[john1234]

Not to sound like a d*ck here, but you sound very immature to make the decisions your making and it sounds like you and her both and her family are just freaking rediculous. You two should seriously not have kids, you are still too child-like yourselves to raise a healthy kid.

I am not perfect, but like I said I would be a good parent! if this happens!

 

[betheman]

I'm sure its mine.

... But how can a grown woman in her Thirties behave like this.
The truth is since she became pregnant she has become even more of an irrational and unstable person and this is not helping at all.

She is very angry with me when we speak, but I just accept it.

She has pretty much destroyed my confidence blaming me for all the bad in the relationship. I feel like a bad guy and I don't think I am a bad person?I don't think I'm selfish and I don't think I am inconsiderate. I will be crushed if she aborts the kid and dumps me, I would feel too low and may become depressed.

What do you suggest I do in the coming weeks?

She sound fcucked in the head, ive highlighted a couple of warnings in just this post. she makes you feel bad does she? and you just allow it, so look at yourself, dont put up with this sh!te!
she ahs given you the ..."its not you, its me" and the "I need my own space" lines...let her fccuking have her own space, this 'relationship' needs a priest to give it the last rites

 

[evan12]

I am seeing the following .
the time is not "just happen" , she knew you are financially good so she want a baby from you .
I dont think she really like you , I can say you are a little submissive to her from what I read , so all what she worry about is "Herself" and her son .
when her parents didnt like the idea , she lost the confidence in her self and now she is afraid from the idea , especially she was planning to use you as a wallet and may be get some help from her parents to raise the kid , so she want to review her plan again , because unexpected things happened
sorry to tell you , you are not in her mind , all what she thinking is "Her" self . she dont care about you

from what I am reading I feel this woman can leave you at any time , she have no emotional bonds with you

 

[john1234]

I am seeing the following .
the time is not "just happen" , she knew you are financially good so she want a baby from you .
I dont think she really like you , I can say you are a little submissive to her from what I read , so all what she worry about is "Herself" and her son .
when her parents didnt like the idea , she lost the confidence in her self and now she is afraid from the idea , especially she was planning to use you as a wallet and may be get some help from her parents to raise the kid , so she want to review her plan again , because unexpected things happened
sorry to tell you , you are not in her mind , all what she thinking is "Her" self . she dont care about you

from what I am reading I feel this woman can leave you at any time , she have no emotional bonds with you

she has never asked me for money since we been together ?

 

[evan12]

she has never asked me for money since we been together ?

women plan for long term , they can hide their real personality and desires for years .
she also know if she become pregnant from you ,you are going to support the child willingly or unwillingly by legal system , so you trapped for ever it is no longer your decision
the funny thing in this legal system , she still able to go and live with another man while taking child support from you

I cant understand what make men legalese such a stupid laws , while the woman has all the options man have no option

 

[penkitten]

pregnancy hormones get crazy out of control. you can't sit on the sidelines and allow the hormones to freak out and run the show. you have to say what you have to say. you need to speak up for yourself. it might hurt her feelings or p1ss her off for a moment... but it's gonna be better than this.

pregnancy hormones = pms + cheap crack
(hope that analogy works for you)

 

[vatoloco]

I'm sure its mine.

100%?

Was this the same girl you were suspecting of cheating a couple of months ago?

 

[disgustipated]

Has to be. Guy like this isn't keeping plates.....he'll come in here and try to not be wrong about that statement by rationalizing her past behavior any way he can. He better pray she gets an abortion. Or say bye to half your checks, no relation with her, and limited time with the kid. Ahh the American dream.

 

[vatoloco]

Well, like they say, "you can lead a horse to water..."

I'm out. Good luck to the OP.

 

[john1234]

I respect what people tell me on here. I read all the comments and reflect.

Maybe the kid could be some other guys kid and she makes me think its mine, f**k knows, all I know is she spent every single night with me during those months. so I think even if she may have cheated at the spare of the moment (which is always a possible), the odds are still likely that its mine.

I know she loves me, she does things that make me think so, she changes her life to for me.
With these recent events I realize that she doesn't see me as the one!

In really confused now One thing I do know is I have to somehow protect myself! yes me?

I have been played by a woman in the past after I had ditched her. she got revenge on me and after that experience I had lost all trust of woman kind. Regardless of the woman is 100% faithful I cannot believe that she is. This is my insecurity. I'm not very smart with women.

Now, I do know that she doesn't see me as the one!

rationalizing her past behavior

she told me she thinks the guy (in that old thread whom I suspected she did) likes her. I don't know what that means.


people who say ditch her, i know that its not so easy, when you work with the person.

 

[yuppaz]

I respect what people tell me on here. I read all the comments and reflect.

Maybe the kid could be some other guys kid and she makes me think its mine, f**k knows, all I know is she spent every single night with me during those months. so I think even if she may have cheated at the spare of the moment (which is always a possible), the odds are still likely that its mine.

I know she loves me, she does things that make me think so, she changes her life to for me.i
With these recent events I realize that she doesn't see me as the one!

In really confused now One thing I do know is I have to somehow protect myself! yes me?

I have been played by a woman in the past after I had ditched her. she got revenge on me and after that experience I had lost all trust of woman kind. Regardless of the woman is 100% faithful I cannot believe that she is. This is my insecurity. I'm not very smart with women.

Now, I do know that she doesn't see me as the one!



she told me she thinks the guy (in that old thread whom I suspected she did) likes her. I don't know what that means.


people who say ditch her, i know that its not so easy, when you work with the person.

Ya, not so easy. Much easier to just have an unhappy marriage for the next x number of years instead....

 

[evan12]

Maybe the kid could be some other guys kid and she makes me think its mine, f**k knows, all I know is she spent every single night with me during those months. so I think even if she may have cheated at the spare of the moment (which is always a possible), the odds are still likely that its mine

you didnt read "sperms wars" books , always sperms of lover win over the sperms of long term partners even if the partner have sex every day with her , to know why and how download that book