LTR, no sex... 1 year. i get everything else i want (oral etc) HELP I'M GOING MAD!

[darktempler]

**update**

saw her yesterday, went bowling and went our for meal.

the whole day, i didn't hole hands with her for long at all.

she got little kisses during the day... no making out in daytime. sometimes when she did
TRY to make out ... i just pulled away.

interesting part is when night came.made out with her for a bit, went into her top and played with her nipples (her most sensitive area) then STOPPED and said we sudn't b doing this.... hehe she DIDN'T ACTUALLY ACT TOO PISSED!!! was she hiding it??!?!?!? i said.... i don't feel right doing this... then she replied with... then don't do it... GRRRRrrr.... i was expecting her to beg LOL.

then we hugged in bed for like an hour. then she said she's waiting for me to say some things ... basically i love u.
i said i'll say if when i feel like it.
she said so u don't love me nomore.
i repeated what i said.

we carried on hugging for a while... then suddenly, i felt TEARS and SNIFFING... she was crying.
i asked what was wrong... she said i didn't even love her. i didn't answer that. i said it's how i feel, somtimes i'm not in the mood to do things with u. sometimes i am. sometimes i don't even want to kiss u.

she carried on crying a while... then hugging... then we went our seperate ways...

i REALLY don't know how to analyse what happened!!! seems really wierd. think i'm getting through to her? the Kissing her and then pulling away when the kissing was developing into making out seemed REALLY REALLY harsh hehe... but needed!

carry on with the same plan on friday? or shall i go in for the kill? personally, i think this reasing needs more time.
she THINKS i don't love her nomore, cos i remained silent.... that a good thing for what i'm aiming for? would it DRIVE her to MAKE me love her more? i.e by having sex with me?

during the day, i CAN tell she was a little upset by the way i was treating her... i.e lack of physical contact i think..,.. anyway, she DIDN'T look as happy as she used to be.

guy's u'r right , i need to keep my gameplan secret. i will not tell her anything again. i will not discuss our relationship with her again. she will have to wonder and think.
i will be seeing her on friday again.

will be TRYING to keep contact down to a minimum till friday..... i need advice on what the gameplan should be on friday? i'm thinking of spending time in my flat... just me and her , dvd's and open fire.....
what do u guy's think?

 

[Monkey]

IMO darktempler you are fvcking with this girls head and its not on!

She (anyone) deserves much better than this. Imagine you'd come on this board saying that your gf was playing similar mind games - I'm sure most of us would cry NEXT! - Something to think about...

 

[darktempler]

moneky, i WILL NEXT her IF i know for certain i won't be getting that PU$$Y....

for girls like these, MIND GAMES ARE NEEDED!!!.... i've tried the normal ways. they don't work.

she was TRYING to tell me about love etc to me on the phone last night.
she was saying her love for me stays THE SAME AT ALL TIME ALWAYS AT 100%.
and that she can't understand why MY LOVE goes up and down depending on how she treated me.
so i explained to her that my love wasn't unconditional. if someone is nice to me, i will proboly reward them by being JUST as nice. i told her what i TAKE from a relationship, i WILL give back.
took her a while to get this, i think she does now.

i can't be far from getting her into bed. i think just one more date of teasing and mind games and i can move in.

thoughts?

 

[Jake Steed]

"i said.... i don't feel right doing this... then she replied with... then don't do it..."

Lol, boy she's really playing you, darktempler. Looks like she still has control of you. What did you do when she said this? You should have stopped cold turkey and gone home. Hanging around with her after she said that just showed her you need her more than she needs you.

Listen, you need to make yourself less "readable" to her. Control your facial expressions and emotions more strictly, so that she will be wondering how you feel. When she asks, don't elaborate, just say, "I'm fine." and remain silent. Be a mystery to her.

Her wanting you to say "I love you." and then crying when you didn't is a TOTAL GAME. It's a trap, and I have to congratulate you on not falling for it. She wants to get all the things females crave from you (attention, affection, cuddling, "I love you"'s) without giving you what she knows you want (sex). Those tears were completely fake.

You need to make sure you're in control of yourself AND the relationship at all times. See her friday, but do NOT have any contact with her whatsoever between now and Friday. No IM, no calls, no visits, no email, NOTHING. She should not be able to get ahold of you and she should be wondering what you are doing. When she asks, say, "Oh I was out with friends." DO NOT ELABORATE.

And yes, Friday, go for the puzzy. Don't ask. Just make out with her and do the things to her you know turn her on. Get her as turned on and moaning/screaming as you can. Go down on her and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, but stop right before she comes, put on a condom, and slide your dyck inside her and fvck her. If she tells you to stop, then stop, and DO NOT CONTINUE WITH PETTING, MAKING OUT, FEELING UP, ETC. CUT OFF ALL PHYSICAL CONTACT!

$50 says she stops you Friday. That's just my gut feeling. If that happens I suggest dating other girls immediately.

Jake

 

[~The_Chosen~]

Originally posted by Jake Steed:
$50 says she stops you Friday. That's just my gut feeling. If that happens I suggest dating other girls immediately.

Jake

Yea, Jake gives good advice on this matter. I wish I could've helped you out more but been busy.

Dump her, trust me, have fun watching her get jealous you are banging OTHER chicks and do the same she did to you...don't give it to her. Then she will WANT YOU.

You see, I was in the same situation but worst, it was a long distance relationship, so I put so much energy into it and finally I reached my limit and said, "fvck this, it's over, I'm tired of your games and I'm not attracted to you, you're much better off as a friend, but I'm not sure I can say the same for you."

Then she starts complaining about how she still cares for me and so on, and i shouldn't mess myself up...women are selfish, stay away from selfish people.

They are all wasted energy. You don't want to feel like me. Imagine putting so much effort, time, money...into something just to know it fails you in the end.

You don't want no regrets man, goodluck and make the best decision.


------------------
~The_Chosen~ has spoken...

"I never hit a woman with her clothes on!"

Judge a man by his questions and not his answers.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is just not an act but a habit." - Aristotle

 

[darktempler]

**update**

last night she called, and was CRYING HER EYES OUT. i could hear her. she denies it, said it was a cold lol... but... it was obvious to me.
i think it's working guy's... it's making her crack!!!

the problem is, i STILL don't feel the time is right to do it yet. I have only been teasing her for 1 date only....

i should tease her on friday ALSO... and then wait untill the next one, it's going to be on thursday, a "results day party" lots of alcohol etc, music, dancing where i can tease the Fuk outa her, oh yeah and 2 of my ex's are going too!! plus all the hot babes in town....

what do u guy's think? do it on friday or wait till thursday with no contact inbetween?

JACK: fuking great advice as usual!
"i said.... i don't feel right doing this... then she replied with... then don't do it..." when she said that i just stopped totally and replied with "'m not in the mood"

u know, the wierd thing is, she keeps on telling ME that SHE feels the one being played. and that I AM not taking the relationship seriously enough... that's cos i use all my DJ stuff on her. might be a good point to note that my past reputation is that i AM a player... but i've proved that all wrong by staying with the same girl for over a year.

hehe do u think friday is too soon? i don't have enough control yet huh? what do u reckon to my thrusday party idea?

right, mission instructions understood, she is NOT gonna find out ANYTHING about me, what i've been doing till the next time i see her, there will be NO "relationship" discussions ever again... u'r right, i need more mystery.

~The_Chosen~ i will know if i will dump her in the next 2 weeks. i have put a time limit on it. if no sex in 2 weeks time, SHE'S GONE.
btw, me and my girl are kinda long distance too, 2 hours away... nowhere near u'r 4 though.
after reading one of u'r posts on the board about u'r past relationship... it sounds so simular to my situation. a "rules " girl.

[This message has been edited by darktempler (edited 08-14-2002).]

 

[~The_Chosen~]

Originally posted by darktempler:
~The_Chosen~ i will know if i will dump her in the next 2 weeks. i have put a time limit on it. if no sex in 2 weeks time, SHE'S GONE.

Good mindset. Go tell her if she doesn't shapen up and get rid of her selfishness, you'll find another girl that thinks like you.

Tell her this, "You're no fun, I like women that are laid back, not afraid to experiment...(pause)...who know how to give me pleasure."

Then LEAVE. Don't say anything. It has that "effect" and if she cries more and doesn't consider your feelings, dump her. That's the best you can do. Respect YOUR FEELINGS (since you aren't getting any physical pleasure) and respect HER FEELINGS, she doesn't want physical pleasure...and your conclusion?

You guys don't match, drop her like a bad habit.

btw, me and my girl are kinda long distance too, 2 hours away... nowhere near u'r 4 though.

Ah that sucks. You see don't fall into a vicious cycle, you'll spend alot of time coming to see her, etc. and all this work and she won't give it up. Forget her, let go while you still can.

I suggest you use Speed Seduction, girls love to become seduced, they LOVE it, they love to feel comfortable and sexy. Like someone said, you need to bring out that "natural women" in her.

after reading one of u'r posts on the board about u'r past relationship... it sounds so simular to my situation. a "rules " girl.

Yea, girls are naturally conniving and deceitful, they are so full of sh!t. I can't believe how women are. They have to be manipulative to weed out the weak potential mates and nice-guys.

So in this case, stay strong man, and you'll succeed.

Remember, don't put too much effort into it just to see it fall before you. Don't go to visit her too much (that was my mistake, sicne I was a more flexible person, I visited her more than)

Goodluck.


------------------
~The_Chosen~ has spoken...

"I never hit a woman with her clothes on!"

Judge a man by his questions and not his answers.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is just not an act but a habit." - Aristotle

 

[Jake Steed]

Dark, I guess you should wait until the thursday party. Really, the process I described would take a lot longer than two dates. You'd need at least a month to pull it off correctly. You need more time to build up her desires to the point they outweigh the block she's put up against sex.

Remember, she shouldn't SENSE she's being played or that you're doing anything different to her. She should just feel the feelings of intense desire and frustration. If she senses you're playing a game on her, you definately will get no sex from her. Girls can sense your sexual frustration. Be cool, calm, and be subtle!

Chosen, I disagree with you in that Darktempler should NOT verballize his feelings to this girl. He already has, and that pushed her away from him. If he gives her an ultimatum or puts his feelings in the form of a threat, "I'm leaving if you don't fvck me." he will get NO sex from her.

He needs to break down her resistance by

1. Demonstrating value (showing her he's desired by people, especially women)

2. Tapping into and builing up her sexual desires. He needs to constantly get her turned on.

3. Leave her frustrated (in a subtle way, NO threats!). He needs to cut the physical stuff off short JUST before she gets satisfied. She should always want more. AND HE SHOULD NEVER VERBALLIZE ANYTHING.

4. When all these feelings build up to the bursting point, then he should go for the fvck--all action, no talking. He should make her feel rewarded and happy that she made the right decision and fvcked him by pleasing her in every physical way, but afterward, KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT.

Jake

 

[darktempler]

so u think i should extend my time limit to 1 month or 2?

today she texted me and commented on my lack of randyness....
she said that i was less fun without it.

CLEARLY the DJ stuff has been working. her frustrations are building up.

i responded with I am a randy person, but i'm not in the mood to do it with YOU and the moment.

date is tomorrow....tell me what u think guy's about extending my time limit. jack said it takes over a month for these things to take effect....

i will update tomorrow night.

 

[~The_Chosen~]

Originally posted by Jake Steed:
Chosen, I disagree with you in that Darktempler should NOT verballize his feelings to this girl. He already has, and that pushed her away from him. If he gives her an ultimatum or puts his feelings in the form of a threat, "I'm leaving if you don't fvck me." he will get NO sex from her.

He shouldn't even want sex from this girl. But your advice could work. Dark Templar you choose.

But I never meant by advice as a "break-up" thing. It is teasing and assuring her that if she can't satisfy YOU, you will find someone else that CAN.

Jealousy is a strong weapon to use. After you say such a line, (about wanting women who give you pleasure) talk casually about other women you've met and how fun they are to be with.

She will get frustrated, trust me. If she says you're cheating on her, tell her stop over-reacting. Tell her they are just your friends, and if she can't handle that you guys should break up.

Anchor the thought of "I want a laid-back girl, who's not jealous and not afraid to do thing." She will give into your influence if you do it correct. I suggest you look up Speed Seduction. In this sense you are not using it for one-night stands, but using it to bring out the NATURAL woman in her.

As for extended the time limit...here's my advice, put your energies into someone else.

If you win you will reap the rewards. But chances of that are slim, since you are pressuring her, making it uncomfortable to "have sex" She complicated things. It won't feel like "it just happened" but rather you forced her.

Don't put so much value into her just to see her fail right before your eyes. You will regret spending so much time with her just to see her true self.

That is my advice, but you don't have to follow it. Just go after all the other fish in the ocean.

If you do pursue it though, don't put so much energy into it, act like you don't care.

Always say less than neccesary. What's the use of this quote if you don't say anything at all?

It's much more powerful to say something concise and prove it with your actions. Don't talk too much! If you don't say anything at all you could get her confused and that could cause potential problems.

Always say less than neccessary.

------------------
~The_Chosen~ has spoken...

"I never hit a woman with her clothes on!"

Judge a man by his questions and not his answers.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is just not an act but a habit." - Aristotle

[This message has been edited by ~The_Chosen~ (edited 08-15-2002).]

 

[Tantric]

Dude,

I think you should really stop playing the games...honestly, your job is to DJ her, not manipulate her to the point where she HAS to have sex with you...do ya think she's even going to enjoy it now? When playing with a girls emotions, do it in a way that doesn't end up in a game...you have to play her emotions so that it gets her WANTING to have sex with you, like she can't hold back any more...she has to feel like she NEEDS it...which is why earlier in the posts the advice was to back away...then see what happens, that way YOU were in control...

You backed away, but ended up playing a mind game that you ain't winning...

Like the Dark - man said, "quit verbalizing everything!"...remain "mysterious" in ALL OF YOUR ACTIONS!!!! If you let her figure out ON HER OWN, that you're distant because of the lack of pu$$Y, she'll choose ON HER OWN, without you doing any work...

BAD - you keep telling her you are "no longer sexually attrated to her"...why the hell would she want to have sex with someone who wasn't sexually attracted to her?

BAD - you're acting on pure emotion to fuc this chick..that's AFC stuff

BAD - she doesn't trust you...

BAD - this is turning into a manipulation game...

Do you even like this chick? If you do, then stop the head-fuking, it's not doing either of you good...

Most girls i've been with had sex with me on the first date...after, they said having sex on the first date was something they've NEVER done before...their reasoning is that they felt very comfortable around me. She has to feel comfortable OUT OF EVERYTHING YOU DO...SHE DOES NOT FEEL THAT and at this point, unless you seriously change your approach you NOT going to get what you want...

You're ideas and wording are correct, BUT, YOU ARE GOING ABOUT EVERYTHING THE WRONG WAY!!!!! YOU ARE HEADING BACK TO AFC WORLD!!!!!

The way things are going "right now" she will NOT enjoy having sex with you...

Your job is to sex her, and be so good at it that she wants to rape you whenever she sees you...the way things are going...it ain't gonna happen...

Master Pook says that you shouldn't be the "nice guy"...you shouldn't be the "jerk", you should be the "good guy"...in other words, the DJ...

How would you rate yourself looking back at your own posts?

If you really need it THAT bad...go out pick up a slut and get laid...otherwise, kick back a bit dude...RELAX...you're putting a piece of pu$$y THE most important thing...a DJ doesn't need that (of course we do), BUT you are not to make it evident...

my advice right now is to chill...stop playing the game cuz it's going to get worse...let her come to you...be brief with your conversations, but not a dic...i think you're pulling away too soon (kissing heavy, then backing away), get her excited, VERY excited, then slow down...i don't mean stop...but chill...get heavy, and get her thinking that SHE was the one who got YOU heavy...back off, then tell her that it's getting too intense (or some BS like that)...tell her you have to stop, and tell her that continuing will only make you want to have sex with her more (stopping and saying that is like respecting her wishes)...it's kinda like reverse psychology...chances are she'll allow you to continue, and you're in...after all, you did warn her...

The above strategy may sound lame, but i used to use it ALL the time when i was younger, and it worked ALL THE TIME...it puts them in the frame of mind that they are "SOOO hot"...just be smooth in your delivery...

 

[KiInCollege]

I wonder how it turned out.

 

[vonbock]

Inotice a line that really works. IT worked for me and my friend. I read it somewhere here but I accidently used it few years back. When girl puts up defense. Tell her, I think it should be done when we are both ready. Sex brings two people closer together and makes our feelings stronger for each other. My goodness, his girl and my girl were all over and they wanted to do it right away no questions asked.

 

[darktempler]

hey guy's oops forgot to let you know what happened.

good news, i'm still with her and i'm getting SEX NOW! YEH BABY!

how did i do it? i used speed seduction, agreeing with her about the things which conflicted with our relationship and running patterns on her.

as ross jeffries said NEVER USE FOrce AgainST FORCE.

made her feel GOOD. did the map of the world pattern properly, found out her perfect date, then recreated it... EXACTLY so then that date was SPECIAL... and guess what..l. on special dates, u do SPECIAL things right?


thanks guys for everything.
i'm happy in the relationship now

if you want anything explaining just post here, i'm more than willing to help.

 

[DJ Girevik]

Ok, here's a viewpoint from a Christian, who is saving his virginity until marriage.

First of all, she is not a hypocrite for her beliefs. Sex before marriage = fornication. Fornication is defined as:

Sexual intercourse between partners who are not married to each other.

\For`ni*ca"tion\, n. [F. fornication, L. fornicatio.] 1. Unlawful sexual intercourse on the part of an unmarried person; the act of such illicit sexual intercourse between a man and a woman as does not by law amount to adultery.

n 1: voluntary sexual intercourse between persons not married to each other 2: extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations; "adultery is often cited as grounds for divorce" [syn: adultery, criminal conversation]

--

And oral and fingering is NOT intercourse. So how is she being a hypocrite?

---------------------------------------------

As for the rest of it, looks like it's a bit late for my response to the whole situation. So I'll leave it there.

 

[darktempler]

if sex before marriage = the defination of fornication

let's consider your defination.
unlawful sexual intercourse. who is given to determine what IS lawful and what's UNLAWFUL? the judgement is in the eye of the beholder....

me and my gf are now in a happy 2 year LTR. she is extremly happy and so am i... so what's more important? surly a persons happiness? what is your god? isn't he a god of LOVE?

from the christian viewpoint, u'r saving your virginity until before marriage. the REASON FOR THIS?
so that you can present yourself to your partner pure and clean.
so again, the defination of pure and clean is totally differant from 1 person to the next.
was she a hypocrite? well lets consider this, she let me do EVERYTHING ELSE TO HER.... EVERY SEXUAL ACT EXCEPT letting my put my **** in....
well... it's been in her mouth, on her tits.... so, let me ask you... is she still keeping herself clean and pure? NO.

so was she a hypocrite in this sense? YES

i'm in this ltr with expectations of marriage. i intend to be her husband. does she goto church still YES, is she a christian, YES.

the church is a place FOR sinners if that is what she's done. nobody's perfect. the important thing is SHE'S HAPPY and so am i Together.

maybe i should write in detail all the techinques i employed in achieving this.... it will be long but if there's enough demand for this then i will write it all up.let me know.

 

[tiburon]

LOL you got to be kidding me

Man your girl is a fake...Blow job and anything like oral sex anything that envolves sexual contact between a man and a womanis against the Christian faith so tell her that she aint a virgin anymore..i mean her little sking is still intact but a virgin means" never been touched"

Me personally i hate your girl...because then some other dude after you brake up wioith her buys the idea that she is a virging and she is really a player...i think thats why she is doing all that.

Now they do a surgery and everything to get that skin back just like if she was a virgin ...tell her if she wants to fool her husband in the wedding day she could do it that way too, becasue aint no way she is not having sex and aint no way she is a virgin


I TRULLY CANT BELIEVE THAT
Tiburon