LTR GF Giving me S**T

[styleman]

Title pretty much explains itself.

Examples:

Says "Shut up"
Says "**** off"
Tells me do what you can if I ask her not to do something.
Says there's a 'force' controlling her making her listen to me and she's had nightmares about it.
I tell her she's being selfish, she just threatens and says say everything is about me.


She never swore at me before, 2.5 years on... Keeps doing it...

Please tell me how to get her back in line......

 

[Crazystarf]

Was there any traits she had that indicated BPD? Some of the traits you dont notice can show up much later in your relationship, so be careful with that.

Give her some space first though; you may be in her life a bit too much at the moment

 

[styleman]

Was there any traits she had that indicated BPD? Some of the traits you dont notice can show up much later in your relationship, so be careful with that.

Give her some space first though; you may be in her life a bit too much at the moment

Don't think BPD.. "Space" might be an issue, but what's the point of giving it?

 

[styleman]

Was there any traits she had that indicated BPD? Some of the traits you dont notice can show up much later in your relationship, so be careful with that.

Give her some space first though; you may be in her life a bit too much at the moment

She has mentioned space but I've shunned her.

 

[zinc4]

well...first of, what was the relationship like and also are you very a selfish person??? That was and still is my problem...i know this is a macho site, but women are not dogs to train hahaha...ok maybe they have to be trained a little sometimes...but it seems to me either her or you have issues...that part about her saying there is a force controlling her to listen to you is interesting to me....are you a very bossy person in general or is she just crazy and looking for excuses to end the relationship?

But either way, if she is constantly picking fights, that is obviously not a good sign at all...you should try talking to her calmly with no emotions involved...but don't come off as nagging or pleading

edit: just saw where she has mentioned space...if she asks for it call her on her bluff give it to her immediately...she might be surrpised and come running back quickly..or she might take it and run...either way it is better than begging her to be with you..

when a woman mentions space and you say no we don't need any space then you are subconciously lowering your value in her mind and making it more of a chore to be with you

 

[styleman]

well...first of, what was the relationship like and also are you very a selfish person??? That was and still is my problem...i know this is a macho site, but women are not dogs to train hahaha...ok maybe they have to be trained a little sometimes...but it seems to me either her or you have issues...that part about her saying there is a force controlling her to listen to you is interesting to me....are you a very bossy person in general or is she just crazy and looking for excuses to end the relationship?

But either way, if she is constantly picking fights, that is obviously not a good sign at all...you should try talking to her calmly with no emotions involved...but don't come off as nagging or pleading

I would say I'm the total opposite of selfish with her. Put her first.
I am controlling, she's around 4 years younger than me, has friends who take drugs, I stop her from meeting them. There was a male friend of hers who criticised me, I told her not to speak to him. She does not but I think she's a headstrong girl, and she cannot bear the fact that she listens to me out of love but doesn't really want to. Even to the extent that she's actually having nightmares about it, she's been waking me up in the middle of the night telling me to hold her, I thought nothing of it, only today she's told me this is what was waking her up...

So perhaps I'm bossy?? But I think its got something deeper to it.

We've discussed whether we want to end, and both say no. We both say whatever the fights are 'we love each other'.

I do come across as nagging and pleading when we fight, sometimes I get aggressive in my tone, she walks off, I end up pleading.

She was on her period, we hand't had sex for 4 days, (normally once or twice a day) I told her that's why we're fighting, she laughed, but I know there's more to it, fight or no fight if I think of one year back she wouldn't swear at me... She's loosing respect..

 

[styleman]

well...first of, what was the relationship like and also are you very a selfish person??? That was and still is my problem...i know this is a macho site, but women are not dogs to train hahaha...ok maybe they have to be trained a little sometimes...but it seems to me either her or you have issues...that part about her saying there is a force controlling her to listen to you is interesting to me....are you a very bossy person in general or is she just crazy and looking for excuses to end the relationship?

But either way, if she is constantly picking fights, that is obviously not a good sign at all...you should try talking to her calmly with no emotions involved...but don't come off as nagging or pleading

edit: just saw where she has mentioned space...if she asks for it call her on her bluff give it to her immediately...she might be surrpised and come running back quickly..or she might take it and run...either way it is better than begging her to be with you..

when a woman mentions space and you say no we don't need any space then you are subconciously lowering your value in her mind and making it more of a chore to be with you

She asked for space last night, I agreed. Today we spoke less than usual during the day... she's asleep now and I've left the bedroom... I've given her some as far as I'm concerned, but I can't really understand what space has to do with anything?

 

[Die Hard]

Dude, what kind of question is that? You might as well have written:

"Everytime I leave my house to go to work or do groceries or whatever, some guy is waiting for me outside and he will start calling me names and pushes me really hard, so hard that I also fall down on the pavement. And he will just keep walking after me and keep shouting and screaming at me, calling me names and pushing me really hard.
What should I do???"

Who would ask such a dumb question? As it is obvious that you need to knock his fvcking teeth out!!!!

Same thing here, you need to stand up for yourself and show your teeth towards this woman. Think of Tony Montana:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_z4IuxAqpE

Obviously, I'm not suggesting you take a machine gun and kill her, lol. What I'm getting at, is his attitude. He's fvcking ANGRY and won't take sh!t from those guys. They decided to fvck with him, now he's gonna give them what they asked for and show them they picked the wrong guy to fvck with.

THAT is the attitude you need! Instead of this weak pu$$y I-don't-know-what-to-do attittude...

Same as with a boy in school who always gets bullied by some other kid. He can ask other people what to do all he wants, but the answer is simple: He must either man up and fight back or be forever bullied by the kid.

It's as simple as that, you must either stand up for yourself and show your woman she can't fvck with you or be forever treated like sh!t by her.

Good luck.

 

[styleman]

Dude, what kind of question is that? You might as well have written:

"Everytime I leave my house to go to work or do groceries or whatever, some guy is waiting for me outside and he will start calling me names and pushes me really hard, so hard that I also fall down on the pavement. And he will just keep walking after me and keep shouting and screaming at me, calling me names and pushing me really hard.
What should I do???"

Who would ask such a dumb question? As it is obvious that you need to knock his fvcking teeth out!!!!

Same thing here, you need to stand up for yourself and show your teeth towards this woman. Think of Tony Montana:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_z4IuxAqpE

Obviously, I'm not suggesting you take a machine gun and kill her, lol. What I'm getting at, is his attitude. He's fvcking ANGRY and won't take sh!t from those guys. They decided to fvck with him, now he's gonna give them what they asked for and show them they picked the wrong guy to fvck with.

THAT is the attitude you need! Instead of this weak pu$$y I-don't-know-what-to-do attittude...

Same as with a boy in school who always gets bullied by some other kid. He can ask other people what to do all he wants, but the answer is simple: He must either man up and fight back or be forever bullied by the kid.

It's as simple as that, you must either stand up for yourself and show your woman she can't fvck with you or be forever treated like sh!t by her.

Good luck.

Mentioned above.. I loose my temper and she walks off.

I'm not going to hit a girl or scream...

I end up apologising...

What do you propose I do to stand my ground?

 

[twentee]

it's probably over and it;s DEFINITELY time to get lost, for at least a week, probably a month. if your absence doesn't make her straighten out, then she's gone from your life, don't try to fight it, it will get worse, much worse.

 

[zinc4]

I would say I'm the total opposite of selfish with her. Put her first.
I am controlling, she's around 4 years younger than me, has friends who take drugs, I stop her from meeting them. There was a male friend of hers who criticised me, I told her not to speak to him. She does not but I think she's a headstrong girl, and she cannot bear the fact that she listens to me out of love but doesn't really want to. Even to the extent that she's actually having nightmares about it, she's been waking me up in the middle of the night telling me to hold her, I thought nothing of it, only today she's told me this is what was waking her up...

So perhaps I'm bossy?? But I think its got something deeper to it.

We've discussed whether we want to end, and both say no. We both say whatever the fights are 'we love each other'.

I do come across as nagging and pleading when we fight, sometimes I get aggressive in my tone, she walks off, I end up pleading.

She was on her period, we hand't had sex for 4 days, (normally once or twice a day) I told her that's why we're fighting, she laughed, but I know there's more to it, fight or no fight if I think of one year back she wouldn't swear at me... She's loosing respect..

Well, you know...she probably is immature, but you can't control women...if you try to they will want to run away like what your's is doing...i mean it's not like you guys are married or anything...i would definitely say you have been too controlling...you can't forbid her to not talk to someone or hang out with her friends.....she has to come to that conclusion on her own....you can just accept who she hangs out with and not let it bother you or you can just walk away and find someone who you think is better or more suitable for you....

and now the backlash is she has just been plain out disrespecting you...

she needs space badly....good thing you gave it to her....but i wouldn't pin my hopes on things getting better.....if i had to guess, i would say that her and her friends make jokes about you behind your back....now ask yourself, do you really want to be with a woman like this???

time to move on unless she comes begging and pleading back to you....sorry to disappoint you, a relationship of 2.5 years is never easy to end...but at least at this point you can leave with some of your self-respect and dignity

 

[styleman]

Well, you know...she probably is immature, but you can't control women...if you try to they will want to run away like what your's is doing...i mean it's not like you guys are married or anything...i would definitely say you have been too controlling...you can't forbid her to not talk to someone or hang out with her friends.....she has to come to that conclusion on her own....you can just accept who she hangs out with and not let it bother you or you can just walk away and find someone who you think is better or more suitable for you....

and now the backlash is she has just been plain out disrespecting you...

she needs space badly....good thing you gave it to her....but i wouldn't pin my hopes on things getting better.....if i had to guess, i would say that her and her friends make jokes about you behind your back....now ask yourself, do you really want to be with a woman like this???

time to move on unless she comes begging and pleading back to you....sorry to disappoint you, a relationship of 2.5 years is never easy to end...but at least at this point you can leave with some of your self-respect and dignity

All of her friends respect me, this one guy did not, I think he was trying to get in her pants so I eliminated him.

The last few times she took c she was vomiting and in bed for two days, I am not trying to father her but I'm genuinely worried for her.

I'm starting to see why space is the way to go, maybe she will realise what she's missing, but at the same time she not loosing anything when we're in the same bed at night either way..

Even if it means letting her risk her own health and let her friends crack jokes, so be it. I want to earn her respect back though..

 

[dangdang]

Stay at a friends for the night?

Grab beers with the boys, come home late?

 

[Die Hard]

Mentioned above.. I loose my temper and she walks off.

I'm not going to hit a girl or scream...

I end up apologising...

What do you propose I do to stand my ground?

You misunderstand my meaning. I'm not suggesting you act agressively, I'm suggesting you act STRONG. For example, ignore her and withdraw your attention from her. When you have feelings for someone, that is difficult to do, you actually want to act GOOD towards the person you have feelings for, instead of treating her like she doesn't exist and doesn't mean anything to you.
It takes STRENGTH to stay resolute and treat herlike that anyway. And that strenght must come from your ATTITUDE, which must be: "I'm pissed off! You picked the wrong person to fvck with and now I'm gonna show you!"

Again, this angry attitude doesn't have to be translated into literally angry behavior. When you play a game of chess and your opponent takes an important piece from you, you also become angry but you MANIFEST your anger as following: you are calm and focused, you calmly think of a plan to take revenge and then you execute that plan very patiently, very controlled, very calmly.

You get my point?

You can show her that you won't accept her behavior and that she chose the wrong person to fvck with...but in a calm, controlled and patient way. However, you do need an angry ATTITUDE to begin with, coz that attitude will give you the STRENGTH and MOTIVATION to execute your strategy.

Right now, you clearly don't have that attitude. It is obvious from the fact that you end up pleading and apologizing everytime you and her are fighting.

Actually, you might be doing something good when you lose your temper or get aggressive in your tone. It sends a strong signal to her... But you mess it up by pleading and apologizing afterwards. Coz first you show strength, but then you do the opposite, by acting weak and apologizing. So she knows you are not really strong...
Next time you lose your temper and she walks off, when she comes back, you just ignore her and give her no attention. That way, you'll back up your earlier behavior, instead of contradicting it by pleading and apologizing. You send her a signal, communicating "you pissed me off and now I am gonna ignore you, that is what you get for fvcking with me!"
Of course, you don't say that. You just DO it, you just ignore her and give her no attention.

 

[Slickster]

You've lost her respect. If you allow her to disrespect you even once you have lost her.

You must remove yourself from the situation to have a hope of regaining any respect back. She needs to see you leave and she has to be the one who comes crawling, begging you back.

The statement you made about "earning her respect" is just pitiful!

In the future nip any disrespect in the bud.

 

[VladPatton]

You've lost her respect. If you allow her to disrespect you even once you have lost her.

You must remove yourself from the situation to have a hope of regaining any respect back. She needs to see you leave and she has to be the one who comes crawling, begging you back.

The statement you made about "earning her respect" is just pitiful!

In the future nip any disrespect in the bud.

Agreed. You should of blown your top at the very first time she told you fųck off. You should of...fųcked off and NC'd her for at least a week. Crap situation, man, she may have someone on the side, or lost 110% respect for you. Both not good.

Start looking for a place to live. Move back home if you have to, but don't stand for the disrespect.

 

[5string]

Hand her a broom and tell her to take the fvck off.

 

[DonGorgon]

she has lost all respect for you which is a n indicator she is now Fing a man that that she thinks is superior to and she resents you now for having her trailed in an ended relationship..