LTR gaining weight...what to do?

[clicheusername20]

I started dating a girl about 6 months ago. She is awesome in almost every way imaginable. She's extremely caring, supportive, intelligent, and fun. I really do envision a future with this girl, but something has started to bother me and I'm not sure how to go about fixing it. When I met her she was a healthy 5'3" and 105-115 pound girl, not super skinny but just a nice, healthy, normal weight. Over the last couple weeks, I've really started to notice that she's put on 10-20 pounds, especially in the face and hips. She hasn't gotten horribly huge yet, and I'm hoping she's just bloated from her period or something, but I really don't want her to continue gaining weight. Is there a way to go about this without being completely shallow and hurtful? I've gotten her out on runs and gotten her to commit to running a marathon, but she hasn't been to the gym oncs since we've been together. Am I just being ridiculous? Help me DJ's. And no i don't want to break up with her because of everything else about her

 

[SmooveMooves]

She's not bloated, she's gaining weight cause' she's getting comfortable having you.

Tell her she's gaining weight. She'll be pissed, but it should be enough to get her to want to change. If she gives you the "Love me for me..." Speech, it's time to dump her if you want a skinny girl. Cause she ain't changing for no one.

 

[El Payaso]

Lol. I had this same issue a while back. I simply told her upfront. I was like "You should start going to the gym". She got all shocked and said "Are you calling me fat?"

I told her with a straight face. "Yes". She got all upset and moody but I didn't care.

Within a few minutes, she was looking up weight loss diet plans, exercise routines and what not.

Don't be a pu$$y about it. If you have fears of losing her then you will be too scared to tell her straight up.

Your reasoning behind telling her shouldn't be because you want to change her, it should be because if the weight gets too fat then you want to REPLACE her.

Obviously, you don't tell her this but that should be your mental state.

She will eventually get over her upset and if she's really afraid of losing you, she will spend day and night in the gym.

 

[El Payaso]

She's not bloated, she's gaining weight cause' she's getting comfortable having you.

Tell her she's gaining weight. She'll be pissed, but it should be enough to get her to want to change. If she gives you the "Love me for me..." Speech, it's time to dump her if you want a skinny girl. Cause she ain't changing for no one.

Lol. My gf said the same thing when I told her. She was like "Waaaah....you should love me as I am....waaaah". I just looked at her, laughed and went about my business.

 

[salinechow]

First of all... a ****in marathon! Way to start small. Why not just start Navy Seal training to get her into fitness. Bomb. 98 percent she has no interest in actually pursuing this whatsoever. Plus, that sh!t is boring as hell.

You need to communicate on a womans frequency and manipulate her into fitness. Unfortunately for you this most probably requires you doing it with her.

Suggestions: Also, you dont not suggest them to her. You tell her you already made the plans to do it. And... be excited to share in it with her when you tell her.

Dance classes.
Kickboxing classes.
Biking together. (Must be at a trail or fun location or you will only get her to go twice.)( Try a picnic of healthy snacks as a reward at the finish.)

Volleyball League.
Yoga sessions.
P90x or insanity together. ( good luck)
Buy 2 Fitbits and challenge each other.

You got to make this sh!t fun and connecting. She has no drive to keep herself healthy obviously. Lead her.Trick her. Connect with her.

Once you introduce her to something she likes you might be off the hook and can go back to your boring a$$ marathons. Alone.

Also, and tread lightly here...You can use her insecurities against her. For her, but against her.

Pick a photo of you two where she was looking her most fit. Hang that sh!t up on your fridge. When she asks why you did that, say" O I just found it on my phone and I thought you looked so great in it I wanted an actual copy of it." When she pulls the normal girl sh!t tests of "What, I dont look good now?" Say "I dunno, I just thought it would be cute to hang up a photo of us from when we first started dating. Remember how hot we were for eachother? Look how we looked." I dunno. Edit as needed.

Trust me... her hamster will start to burn calories.

Win win.

Plus, if you execute the above well enough, you look like a sweet guy. All the while you are tricking her into moving her growing ass.



Dance classes.

 

[RangerMIke]

If this is something you care about... and since you are a man, and care about how your lady looks, you need to tell her it's a deal breaker. Don't be an @ss about it, but let her know that it's important to you.

If she likes you and wants to keep you she'll lose weight.

But the key to making this work is to reward her when she makes progress. You have to help and support her. Give her affection and respect her efforts.

 

[clicheusername20]

So I told her, in the nicest way I could. I told her we should start going to the gym more and she took the hint pretty quickly. Apparently her mom's been telling her she's gaining weight too. She's been crying for a while and I've never felt more guilty in my life

 

[ZTIME]

So I told her, in the nicest way I could. I told her we should start going to the gym more and she took the hint pretty quickly. Apparently her mom's been telling her she's gaining weight too. She's been crying for a while and I've never felt more guilty in my life

Why the guilt? Would it be better if you said nothing and she gained 20lbs more? Would you tell her then? How many lbs. do you think you would have put up with?

It's better just to get it over with, and make sure you praise her for when she hits the goal that you are seeking.

The crying is just her way of trying to get the upper hand in this situation. Believe it or not, a lot of females will cry (faking) to make you feel bad and scare you from ever repeating "the same mistake" again. Most guys fall for it and become beta.

You told her the way you felt! What, you think that in any normal relationship you're not allowed to speak the truth?? If crying is her reaction to what you said, let her go down that road. She'll stop crying when you give the crying no attention.

Good job in telling her though. Now you guys can fix the problem and you'll be boning a girl with a better body soon!!

 

[Masculinity]

She's not bloated, she's gaining weight cause' she's getting comfortable having you.

Tell her she's gaining weight. She'll be pissed, but it should be enough to get her to want to change. If she gives you the "Love me for me..." Speech, it's time to dump her if you want a skinny girl. Cause she ain't changing for no one.

This guy nailed it pretty well ^ + 1 Rep. I remember telling my ex-gilfriend the same thing. I playfully told her that her legs are like pillows :crackup: and she laughed & started eating less. She ended up crying one time and I kept my cool. When asked about why I didn't want her to gain weight, I told her I like women who respect themselves. And if a person cannot respect her own body, it communicates a bigger message. She lost 10-15 pounds in a few months and her abs were exquisite with perky "B" size cups. Needles to say, you have to make sure you're fit as well.

 

[bluenorther]

I rubbed my girl's tummy and asked "What have you been eating?"

 

[backbeat]

do sum excrcise activities n get her out doin stuff n make her eat healthy instead of junk food. go for walks n do sum hikes with her n both of u get a gym membership n work out together cuz it will help out the both of u bei nhealthy n gettin n shape.

 

[LesbianLover]

definitely be up front and direct, but as gentle as possible. Tell her that she's got a naturally beautiful face & body - and that you'll always be attracted to her, but that you just find it much sexier when she's in shape. Then remind her that she probably feels the same way about your body. You can throw in something about being concerned for her health in the long run for good measure, you know.. kuz u care about her and all

If she acts upset, tell her that it's nothing to be upset about. Weight is something she has complete control over, it's something she can change. It's not like she's ugly