LTR feels FOMO because her BF "enjoys" new **** and flees 10,000 miles

[Catfish]

What's up fellas,

Me (32) and my petite blonde bombshell (26) have been in an exclusive relationship for the last 4,5 years. The first three years were awesome and filled with pure joy. After that we still had a great time - we still had this connection - but the quality of our sex life started to slowly deteriorate until it hit its minimum frequency of about twice a month about half a year ago.

Unfortunately, I have let myself go a bit in that time. Don't get me wrong - I have a pretty good job, got stunning cars (I know, they mean nothing) and live a very interesting life full of travel and joy. Besides, my looks have always reeled in the one or another girl at the night club without the need of applying any sorts of techniques (the 8's at least). However, I have been drinking much lately and got punished with a sub-optimally looking belly. My girl kept complaining that I was getting "too fat" but according to the latest PUA theories, that should be the least problem. Remember the Iranian from hell? Anyways ... everything else (except the sex life) felt pretty nicely.

3 weeks or so ago, she started acting weirder than usual. That started about at the same time when her best friend hooked up with some dude - they were chatting and texting 10 hours a day minimum, even during dinner (and in) restaurants. This is when the downward spiral started to accelerate. Plus, we went of a joint vacation with her mother - she is special. We were under her siege 24/7 (nothing compared to when Calais was under the siege of the English solders).

Anyway, we relocated to Australia a week ago - got a nice Apartment right at the beach front with a stunning look over the tropical coral sea. I thought things might get back to "normal" after doing away with that family bull**** and finally having some time for us. Nada.

The day before yesterday, she told me that she feels the fear of missing out. Texting like a ghostscripter with her friend has showed her how joyful and adventurous the dating game may be and now she is driven nuts by the thought that she will miss out on that feeling for the rest of her life (that is no interpretation, she really did say that).

I have booked a 31 hour flight for the next day (one way, lol) and put her on the plane. I told her to get her feelings sorted, go hook up some men with her goddamn friend and don't bother me with that ****. She cried but after all she did not hesitate and took off. She was lamenting about things like "I know it's bull **** but I cannot rationalize it away, I just feel it ... I will have to go there (there where her friend hooked up her "old fella") and get some clarification for me".

Now, boys, what can I do here? You know that 4 years are not easily thrown away. Also, nothing happened yet. Currently, she keeps writing me on whatsapp (landed here, damn is it cold, blah blah) but I am not sure what I should do. Go dark? Also, I am not even sure what I should do on the low level - should I just keep calm and let her figure out? But then ... should I "take her back" if she wants to come back or is this already the beginning of the end?

I would like to hear what you guys think about that. I have already taken precautions and started getting into the game with some tinder chicks - next weekend is the first weekend alone! I feel that I just need to get rid of that belly first to hit on 9+ lol.

From down under with love!

 

[way2smart]

It's done. It ended a long time ago. It ended the moment you started having sex twice a month.

Her interest level is way to low to raise. She just doesn't give a s*hit about you, which is corroborated by the fact that she left when you told her to go.
Now if she begged to stay that would have been a different story but she didn't.

Let her go. Have some self respect, dump her, cut her off and go full NC.

Here is what will happen if you don't dump her:

She will start riding the c*ock carousel (she probably has already) then after having f*ucked too many d*icks she will say "I have realized that you are the best man I ever wanted" and the worst part is that you WILL take her back. That's because you don't have the balls to dump her now.

 

[Spaz]

She's gone.

Mourn the death of your LTR.

Woman r predictable, I know for sure she's sending messages to you as a fail-safe just in case she decides to double back and there u r waiting in the wings like a good boy. Is that your standard as a man? A back up plan....

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I'd just coldly say "Get yourself sorted out" to her and cease contact. Much easier said than done, but she's flat out admitted to you she wants to get slammed by guys that aren't you. That's fundamentally disrespectful to you. She wants to f*** other guys AND have you messaging her and giving her the beloved GF treatment whenever she wants? Absolute BS.

If you're putting chicks on planes and have cool cars aplenty I'm guessing you have quite a bit of money. That's probably what she was crying about when she left; not the loss of a relationship, but the loss of her own personal cash cow.

Any young person in a relationship has some degree of fear of missing out. Here's the thing though - in a good relationship with someone mature, the desire for crazy hedonistic ONS is suppressed by the natural happiness and sexual fulfillment of the relationship.

This suggests to me that there were cracks in your relationship and she also sounds immature. Many girls in their twenties are very insecure and immature - they wouldn't be happy even with the perfect relationship.

As for yourself, I'd ease back on the drinking and start hitting the gym up. If you feel like your belly is sub-optimal (a concern I share about my own body btw!) you need to get it sorted out now before you let yourself go further. Losing a stone of fat and getting hench from a mediocre starting point isn't hard, but if you just let it spiral you're setting yourself up for damaging your physical appeal.

While you're doing all this self-improvement I'm guessing she's going to burn out on random c**k and realise it's nowhere near as fun and satisfying as she thought it would be. She'll probably catch herpes or something. And then she'll be hitting your phone up asking if you can fly her back so she can suckle at the teat of the cash cow some more. At that point I would say no.

 

[fastlife]

The good news is you handled this situation like a boss. The bad news is that it's over. 4 years is a great run--and I'm sure you made a lot of awesome memories--but if you go back with her (and she will try to get back) it'd be as her 2nd choice. You sound like a solid dude with a cool lifestyle--you'll probably be the dream guy for the next girl(s).

You have 1 life to live--start living it now. Get back in shape; double down on your business; get back in clubs. You have an epic chance to rebuild & to experience all the things you wouldn't be able to in a monogamous relationship.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Enjoy your single life.
Now hit the bars and bang some Aussie sheilas.

 

[SuckItUp]

Get to the gym, but for you and you alone. You intimated that you are dissatisfied with your fitness level. Don’t coast by on money good looks etc.

Women check out of relationships while still in a relationship so that when the end comes they’ve already mourned the death of the relationship.

Just ignore her and do not allow her to come back. She’ll magically pop bsack into your sphere as soon as you meet a new girl you are really into. It’s amazing how exes seem to know exactly when you’ve got over them and are moving on.

 

[devilkingx2]

sounds like your relationship got way too stale and boring, so when her friend started talking about how she got out of a parking ticket by fvcking the cop on the hood of her/his car right there on the road, your gf wasn't able to counter with a story of how her bf got her kicked out of a library by not letting her wear panties so he could finger her to a loud orgasm

when you let things get boring and stale one person gets bored and leaves or cheats (usually the guy though). every once in a while you gotta bring home some cocaine and a DTF stripper

everything else (except the sex life) felt pretty nicely.

that's like saying "everything about my job is going great except for late paychecks that have less money than they should"

 

[BeExcellent]

I'd just coldly say "Get yourself sorted out" to her and cease contact. Much easier said than done, but she's flat out admitted to you she wants to get slammed by guys that aren't you. That's fundamentally disrespectful to you. She wants to f*** other guys AND have you messaging her and giving her the beloved GF treatment whenever she wants? Absolute BS.

If you're putting chicks on planes and have cool cars aplenty I'm guessing you have quite a bit of money. That's probably what she was crying about when she left; not the loss of a relationship, but the loss of her own personal cash cow.

Any young person in a relationship has some degree of fear of missing out. Here's the thing though - in a good relationship with someone mature, the desire for crazy hedonistic ONS is suppressed by the natural happiness and sexual fulfillment of the relationship.

This suggests to me that there were cracks in your relationship and she also sounds immature. Many girls in their twenties are very insecure and immature - they wouldn't be happy even with the perfect relationship.

As for yourself, I'd ease back on the drinking and start hitting the gym up. If you feel like your belly is sub-optimal (a concern I share about my own body btw!) you need to get it sorted out now before you let yourself go further. Losing a stone of fat and getting hench from a mediocre starting point isn't hard, but if you just let it spiral you're setting yourself up for damaging your physical appeal.

While you're doing all this self-improvement I'm guessing she's going to burn out on random c**k and realise it's nowhere near as fun and satisfying as she thought it would be. She'll probably catch herpes or something. And then she'll be hitting your phone up asking if you can fly her back so she can suckle at the teat of the cash cow some more. At that point I would say no.

The fact that she got on the flight and left tells you everything you need to know. NEXT!

 

[AJ84]

What's up fellas,

Me (32) and my petite blonde bombshell (26) have been in an exclusive relationship for the last 4,5 years. The first three years were awesome and filled with pure joy. After that we still had a great time - we still had this connection - but the quality of our sex life started to slowly deteriorate until it hit its minimum frequency of about twice a month about half a year ago.

Unfortunately, I have let myself go a bit in that time. Don't get me wrong - I have a pretty good job, got stunning cars (I know, they mean nothing) and live a very interesting life full of travel and joy. Besides, my looks have always reeled in the one or another girl at the night club without the need of applying any sorts of techniques (the 8's at least). However, I have been drinking much lately and got punished with a sub-optimally looking belly. My girl kept complaining that I was getting "too fat" but according to the latest PUA theories, that should be the least problem. Remember the Iranian from hell? Anyways ... everything else (except the sex life) felt pretty nicely.

3 weeks or so ago, she started acting weirder than usual. That started about at the same time when her best friend hooked up with some dude - they were chatting and texting 10 hours a day minimum, even during dinner (and in) restaurants. This is when the downward spiral started to accelerate. Plus, we went of a joint vacation with her mother - she is special. We were under her siege 24/7 (nothing compared to when Calais was under the siege of the English solders).

Anyway, we relocated to Australia a week ago - got a nice Apartment right at the beach front with a stunning look over the tropical coral sea. I thought things might get back to "normal" after doing away with that family bull**** and finally having some time for us. Nada.

The day before yesterday, she told me that she feels the fear of missing out. Texting like a ghostscripter with her friend has showed her how joyful and adventurous the dating game may be and now she is driven nuts by the thought that she will miss out on that feeling for the rest of her life (that is no interpretation, she really did say that).

I have booked a 31 hour flight for the next day (one way, lol) and put her on the plane. I told her to get her feelings sorted, go hook up some men with her goddamn friend and don't bother me with that ****. She cried but after all she did not hesitate and took off. She was lamenting about things like "I know it's bull **** but I cannot rationalize it away, I just feel it ... I will have to go there (there where her friend hooked up her "old fella") and get some clarification for me".

Now, boys, what can I do here? You know that 4 years are not easily thrown away. Also, nothing happened yet. Currently, she keeps writing me on whatsapp (landed here, damn is it cold, blah blah) but I am not sure what I should do. Go dark? Also, I am not even sure what I should do on the low level - should I just keep calm and let her figure out? But then ... should I "take her back" if she wants to come back or is this already the beginning of the end?

I would like to hear what you guys think about that. I have already taken precautions and started getting into the game with some tinder chicks - next weekend is the first weekend alone! I feel that I just need to get rid of that belly first to hit on 9+ lol.

From down under with love!

I'm sorry, but your girl complaining that your are getting fat is a main problem, not sure why you would think it wouldn't be. It's the same as when a girl gets too fat. It's a sign that no effort needs to be made to keep sexual interest alive because the other person's sexual needs are no longer important.

This could of perhaps been salvaged if you had looked at it that way but you sent her on a plane to go sleep with other men, further cementing the view that her sexual needs are not important to you, that she is not important to you. It's not all on you, she checked out way before but you basically buried the relationship by letting her go off and sleep with other men rather than address what's going on and how to get back to where you both were three years ago. Wouldn't even try to fix this now because you gave her a hall pass to be with other guys so not sure how you can put that back in the box.

Shaking my head here. Move on and hit the gym, learn from this for any future relationship. And maybe take PUA theory with a grain of salt?

 

[Desdinova]

I have booked a 31 hour flight for the next day (one way, lol) and put her on the plane. I told her to get her feelings sorted, go hook up some men with her goddamn friend and don't bother me with that ****.

Good for you, man. Even the price of the ticket is worth getting rid of a wishy washy bytch.

Currently, she keeps writing me on whatsapp

Wow, she's really enjoying all that no-strings-attached sex that she wanted, isn't she? Don't even fvcking respond to her. There's nothing more disrespectful in a relationship than when a woman is pining for other men. She wants other men, so you fvcking sealed the deal for her. Hope the dumb bytch gets to be a single mom living on welfare. Stupid cvnt didn't know how good she had it.

should I "take her back" if she wants to come back

No. She wanted a life of promiscuity instead of a good life with you. Make her eat her own 5hit. There's women out there who want what she threw away. Go out, date some new women, and you'll find ones that want a damn good solid man.

Her interest level is way to low to raise.

I don't believe for a minute that her IL was that low. Women get caught up in the moment of their emotions. Trust me, she's going to want to come back. I just hope the OP has the ba11s to make her continue to eat her own 5hit, and dates women who are better than this stupid cvnt was.

 

[AJ84]

Good for you, man. Even the price of the ticket is worth getting rid of a wishy washy bytch.



Wow, she's really enjoying all that no-strings-attached sex that she wanted, isn't she? Don't even fvcking respond to her. There's nothing more disrespectful in a relationship than when a woman is pining for other men. She wants other men, so you fvcking sealed the deal for her. Hope the dumb bytch gets to be a single mom living on welfare. Stupid cvnt didn't know how good she had it.



No. She wanted a life of promiscuity instead of a good life with you. Make her eat her own 5hit. There's women out there who want what she threw away. Go out, date some new women, and you'll find ones that want a damn good solid man.



I don't believe for a minute that her IL was that low. Women get caught up in the moment of their emotions. Trust me, she's going to want to come back. I just hope the OP has the ba11s to make her continue to eat her own 5hit, and dates women who are better than this stupid cvnt was.

He also let himself go and got fat and she basically told him that. If your girl got fat would you be ok with that? It's never a good sign when one person gives up being sexually attractive to the other person and it's left to fester. it opens the door for thinking about the what ifs and well he basically opened that door wide open for her.

 

[Roober]

You are a shell of your former self and she lost respect for you. Learn from it and move on. If it was still salvageable, she wouldn't have boarded the plane.

 

[skinnyguy]

You should have ended it four years ago.

 

[Desdinova]

He also let himself go and got fat and she basically told him that. If your girl got fat would you be ok with that?

I stated in another thread that I'm loyal as fvck. As long as she was treating me like a king, I'd be able to look past it. I had one girl I was dating who started getting fat, and all the other annoying things about her started to become unbearable.

If your woman treats you like there is no other man out there for her, you keep her. You can't buy that. Hell, most of the time you can't even date that.

 

[AJ84]

I stated in another thread that I'm loyal as fvck. As long as she was treating me like a king, I'd be able to look past it. I had one girl I was dating who started getting fat, and all the other annoying things about her started to become unbearable.

If your woman treats you like there is no other man out there for her, you keep her. You can't buy that. Hell, most of the time you can't even date that.

You're a rare breed, a lot of men and women can't look past it, myself included, I admit. I wouldn't leave like the OP's girl did but I would want to to help him work on getting in better shape, I wouldn't just let it go.

 

[Spaz]

This would make her(and you) horrible long term material, since gaining weight is the LEAST of life's worries as you age.

^^Fact of life.

Unless you live in lala land.

Lala land reminds me of those plastic Christmas trees, once you remove all the trinkets and decorations, underneath it all it's just a piece of ugly plastic.

Nothing special.

 

[The Duke]

Its always the guys fault....just ask any woman!

 

[AJ84]

This would make her(and you) horrible long term material, since gaining weight is the LEAST of life's worries as you age. What if he got diabetes or something?Since we men all bore of our girls looks fairly quickly, we don't feel entitled to permanent sexual attraction on that end. If I want permanent sexual gratification then I won't be in a relationship to begin with. Its almost like entitled women have zero concept of trade-offs other than alpha fcks beta bcks lol.

I don't know how many posts I have read here about how a gf or wife better not get fat, or how if they do they will be upgraded for a fitter person or the guy will find someone else on the side, or how to get side pieces when he is bored with his girl, but in spite of that let me clarify:

Would I have a problem with it? Yes
Would I leave him over it? Not necessarily. If it's due to illness (physical or mental) or something that I am doing that has a negative affect on him then I will of course not leave him for that. If it's due to my behaviour I'm going to own it and change.
If he's being lazy and letting his health go because he has checked out, which is one of the main reasons why people stop trying, then I would consider leaving yes.
In my first post I mentioned the connection between letting one's self go and no longer caring about the relationship. In that context, the no longer caring part is the issue.

Would I be sexually attracted to and want to sleep with him if he was fat no matter the cause? Sorry, but my physical attraction would likely decrease, but it would be not a deal breaker if the cause was, again, due to other factors I just mentioned and not because he simple no longer cares.

Hope that clarifies things from my end.

 

[AJ84]

So it's the INTENT that matters, not the fact that you're physically repulsed by your partner and have no sex life anymore?

The intent mainly yes. If your girlfriend let herself go and it wasn't due to an illness, mental or otherwise, what would you think? It's different if they were already fat, but if they got that way after I would want to address it and see if I did something to make him feel like giving up or is it from his end and try to work on it because no one wants their partner to let themselves go right?

I would still have sex of course, but let's be real and honest here: fit partner or fit partner who got fat? Which one would you honestly prefer?