Entropy4
Don Juan
“Dude, what the ****?”
We had just left the bar, myself and three of the most senior and experienced guys in the Boston Lair.
“What?” I say.
“You didn’t pull, what the ****?”
I had spent half the night talking to the same girl and these guys took turns rotating in for wingman duty with her dull friend. I knew in my mind that I should have been able to pull, but something just didn't feel right. She was definitely into me, but every time I tried to go sexual or seed the idea of going to my place, she seemed shy and timid. Was it her? Or was I just getting rusty? “I don’t know, I don’t think she was feeling it tonight. Maybe she’s a prude.”
They start laughing – busting my balls, no doubt.
“Aren’t you supposed to be a guru? I thought gurus ALWAYS pulled.”
“Seriously, is this what guys pay you to teach? Two hour conversations and a phone number?”
“Yeah, great pull there buddy, she was begging for it and you just walked away.”
More laughter. My indignation.
“Look guys, it wasn’t in the cards tonight,” I am defending myself.
“Haha! Bull****… you were hardly escalating!”
"Don't start making excuses now, Entropy!"
I snap: “**** you guys! I’m going to **** that girl’s brains out this week and then post an LR just to spite you all.”
They roar in laughter. “Good! Do it!”
***********************
The night, overall, was pleasant and uneventful. The four of us convened at a favorite venue and played the "give me a word" approaching game.
The game starts by the four of us standing around and taking turns opening sets. The other three guys choose a word to give whoever is opening -- ideally, the harder the word, the better. With word in hand, the PUA must then open a set using that word in the first sentence. Some of the better ones that night included: dingleberry, fulcrum, scabbard, and schmorgusbord. Despite our best efforts, most of our sets hooked (we're just that ****ing good).
The set in question was actually opened by my wing -- a two-set of HB8's. Mr. Awesome and I arrived later and somehow we segued into the set and ended up inadvertently taking it over. I pulled my wing aside and offered to give it back, but he said it wasn't hooking as well for him so they were all mine. I singled out my target and began gaming.
And by gaming, I mean not gaming.
Recently, I've removed ALL attraction game from my arsenal. No banter, teasing, takeaways, qualification, ****y-funny, DHV's, negs, compliance tests, **** tests, routines, gimmicks, fuzzy top hats or magic tricks. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Just me... nothing else. Just me.
And that's been the point of this experiment: it's just me. My complete and unabridged self. I've been focusing on getting as personal and deep as possible as soon as possible -- to build a deep emotional bond with a girl within a few hours.
Sounds crazy, right? Well, it sure as hell seemed crazy for awhile. Up until this night, most sets I did this with would give me weird looks, or I'd creep them out. Some would go well for awhile, but inevitably I'd weird them out by trying to get too deep and personal too quickly. When you ask a girl what she would do if she only had one day to live can be a little intense when she's drunk and has only known you for five minutes.
But I digress. Theoretically, in my mind, I knew this could be some powerful ****. I think the concept of attraction is so misunderstood in the community and literally half of the **** we do when we go out is quixotic and unnecessary. So in effort to prove my hypothesis, I was experimenting.
I hook the target into a conversation about downloading music or something else -- pretty bland. She doesn't seem too excited to talk to me, but I guess I'm more exciting than nothing, so she humors me with conversation. I'm slowly able to traverse the conversation from music to art to photography to what she does (graphic design), her passions, where she's from and her general life story. I don't grill her, but lead her by sharing these same things myself.
We venue change for good measure.
I sit her down with me and continue. We talked about our families, ex-boyfriends and girlfriends (a blacklisted topic in PUA theory) our failures and fears, hopes and dreams, blah, blah, blah.
All the meanwhile, the deeper we got, the more emotional we got, the more I kino escalated. By the end of the night, We were leaning into each other, hands on each other's legs smiling and staring into each other's eyes (no false takeaways, body rocking or darting eyes). My instincts told me to kiss her, but I didn't really want to. We actually had a significant conversation, being the "bar make-out guy" would seem to taint it. Later on, I'd tell myself I pussied out.
I planted seeds for a bounce and tried to set up sexual and adventurous frames to no avail. "What's the most adventureous thing you've done?" was met with "I'm not very adventureous." My innuendo and overt sexuality was met with timid and shy eyes. There'd be no SNL that night.
Chastisement from my wings aside, I did get her number... and valiantly vowed to **** her the coming week.
We texted back and forth over the next few days. Again, nothing exciting. "What's up?" "How's your day?" Blah, blah, blah, etc.
It's another few nights before I'm able to meet up with her. She's at a bar nearby with some of her friends, so I head down there to see what happens. It's literally the only night I have free to hang out with her in the next week, and she's going back to LA for the summer, so it will probably be my only shot.
Despite having only one opportunity with her, I was still determined to stick to my gameplan. I show up and we make small talk about my shirt and hers, but it's quickly back into deep conversation. My job, my life goals, plans, desires and values followed in turn by hers. More kino. More emotional discussions. More kino. Still no makeout, not even a hint of pulling her home. Yet I could tell she was really into me.
Then it happened. Finally. The breakthrough I knew was possible but hadn't yet experienced.
We were leaning up against each other and still hadn't kissed, and there was a lull in the conversation. We just held eye contact and smiled for about five seconds. And then suddenly... I felt something really weird. It started in my stomach and then in my chest.... wait... I... I really... I really LIKE this girl. She's great. I really, really like her. Like... I feel an emotional connection. I genuinely care about her. Sex aside, I actually give a ****. I had hit a place WITHIN MYSELF within a few hours, something that I had only reached with girlfriends and girls I dated for months. I looked into her eyes and could tell she felt the same thing.
At that moment, I knew she was mine for the rest of the night. There wasn't a shred of doubt, there were no logistics to deal with (her friends simply left me alone with her with no questioning -- this whole "being genuine" thing has its benefits), no excuses, no insecurities, worries, fears. She trusted me and we would be together for the night. No question.
I was right. At about 1AM I told her I was tired and had work and wanted to leave. Every other time I've said this, it's been either as a false takeaway, or to take advantage of her "buying temperature" for the SNL. This time I was serious. She came outside with me, then walked home with me, then sat on my bed with me, where we continued to talk about deeper and more personal things.
What she shared was interesting. She hated bars. She only went because her friends did. Up until a year ago, she had been overweight (she lost 35 pounds in a little less than a year -- the hardest thing she's ever done or worked for). Guys would never talk to her until recently when she lost the weight. As a result, she finds herself completely mistrusting any guy's intentions whatsoever. She had never gone home with a guy from a bar before. When she did feel comfortable with a guy, her shyness prevented her from being too sexual or forward with him. She had a string of guys she dated by never a serious boyfriend. Only guys who were afraid to get close to her or she was afraid to get close to them.
But she said she felt like I knew her better than any of those other guys, even though we had only spent a few hours together. She trusted me. She said that she completely trusted me. I finally kissed her.
As the night went on, we retreated to the bed and began fooling around. This is when she dropped the bomb: she told me she was a virgin.
I've been with five virgins before (well, now six). Most were girlfriends, but in every case, the girl was conflicted, anxious and dead serious about not having sex. I tell guys that LMR with virgins is measured in months, not minutes. It's true. The last virgin I was with would make out with me at parties for months until finally one night she just told me to do it. I had tried to pull all the stops with her -- all of the LMR tactics, the comfort tactics, freeze-outs, etc. I told her that it was OK, I understand, secretly hoping she'd think I was so caring and sensitive and then **** me.
To put it bluntly, sarging a virgin is like playing tennis against a brick wall... you lose.
My reaction was different this time. As soon as she told me this, I immediately resigned myself to the thought of ****ing her. Without hesitation, and with complete sincerity I said, "That's OK, you don't have to do anything you don't want to."
There was a pause. Then she said it:
"I want to."
We had just left the bar, myself and three of the most senior and experienced guys in the Boston Lair.
“What?” I say.
“You didn’t pull, what the ****?”
I had spent half the night talking to the same girl and these guys took turns rotating in for wingman duty with her dull friend. I knew in my mind that I should have been able to pull, but something just didn't feel right. She was definitely into me, but every time I tried to go sexual or seed the idea of going to my place, she seemed shy and timid. Was it her? Or was I just getting rusty? “I don’t know, I don’t think she was feeling it tonight. Maybe she’s a prude.”
They start laughing – busting my balls, no doubt.
“Aren’t you supposed to be a guru? I thought gurus ALWAYS pulled.”
“Seriously, is this what guys pay you to teach? Two hour conversations and a phone number?”
“Yeah, great pull there buddy, she was begging for it and you just walked away.”
More laughter. My indignation.
“Look guys, it wasn’t in the cards tonight,” I am defending myself.
“Haha! Bull****… you were hardly escalating!”
"Don't start making excuses now, Entropy!"
I snap: “**** you guys! I’m going to **** that girl’s brains out this week and then post an LR just to spite you all.”
They roar in laughter. “Good! Do it!”
***********************
The night, overall, was pleasant and uneventful. The four of us convened at a favorite venue and played the "give me a word" approaching game.
The game starts by the four of us standing around and taking turns opening sets. The other three guys choose a word to give whoever is opening -- ideally, the harder the word, the better. With word in hand, the PUA must then open a set using that word in the first sentence. Some of the better ones that night included: dingleberry, fulcrum, scabbard, and schmorgusbord. Despite our best efforts, most of our sets hooked (we're just that ****ing good).
The set in question was actually opened by my wing -- a two-set of HB8's. Mr. Awesome and I arrived later and somehow we segued into the set and ended up inadvertently taking it over. I pulled my wing aside and offered to give it back, but he said it wasn't hooking as well for him so they were all mine. I singled out my target and began gaming.
And by gaming, I mean not gaming.
Recently, I've removed ALL attraction game from my arsenal. No banter, teasing, takeaways, qualification, ****y-funny, DHV's, negs, compliance tests, **** tests, routines, gimmicks, fuzzy top hats or magic tricks. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Just me... nothing else. Just me.
And that's been the point of this experiment: it's just me. My complete and unabridged self. I've been focusing on getting as personal and deep as possible as soon as possible -- to build a deep emotional bond with a girl within a few hours.
Sounds crazy, right? Well, it sure as hell seemed crazy for awhile. Up until this night, most sets I did this with would give me weird looks, or I'd creep them out. Some would go well for awhile, but inevitably I'd weird them out by trying to get too deep and personal too quickly. When you ask a girl what she would do if she only had one day to live can be a little intense when she's drunk and has only known you for five minutes.
But I digress. Theoretically, in my mind, I knew this could be some powerful ****. I think the concept of attraction is so misunderstood in the community and literally half of the **** we do when we go out is quixotic and unnecessary. So in effort to prove my hypothesis, I was experimenting.
I hook the target into a conversation about downloading music or something else -- pretty bland. She doesn't seem too excited to talk to me, but I guess I'm more exciting than nothing, so she humors me with conversation. I'm slowly able to traverse the conversation from music to art to photography to what she does (graphic design), her passions, where she's from and her general life story. I don't grill her, but lead her by sharing these same things myself.
We venue change for good measure.
I sit her down with me and continue. We talked about our families, ex-boyfriends and girlfriends (a blacklisted topic in PUA theory) our failures and fears, hopes and dreams, blah, blah, blah.
All the meanwhile, the deeper we got, the more emotional we got, the more I kino escalated. By the end of the night, We were leaning into each other, hands on each other's legs smiling and staring into each other's eyes (no false takeaways, body rocking or darting eyes). My instincts told me to kiss her, but I didn't really want to. We actually had a significant conversation, being the "bar make-out guy" would seem to taint it. Later on, I'd tell myself I pussied out.
I planted seeds for a bounce and tried to set up sexual and adventurous frames to no avail. "What's the most adventureous thing you've done?" was met with "I'm not very adventureous." My innuendo and overt sexuality was met with timid and shy eyes. There'd be no SNL that night.
Chastisement from my wings aside, I did get her number... and valiantly vowed to **** her the coming week.
We texted back and forth over the next few days. Again, nothing exciting. "What's up?" "How's your day?" Blah, blah, blah, etc.
It's another few nights before I'm able to meet up with her. She's at a bar nearby with some of her friends, so I head down there to see what happens. It's literally the only night I have free to hang out with her in the next week, and she's going back to LA for the summer, so it will probably be my only shot.
Despite having only one opportunity with her, I was still determined to stick to my gameplan. I show up and we make small talk about my shirt and hers, but it's quickly back into deep conversation. My job, my life goals, plans, desires and values followed in turn by hers. More kino. More emotional discussions. More kino. Still no makeout, not even a hint of pulling her home. Yet I could tell she was really into me.
Then it happened. Finally. The breakthrough I knew was possible but hadn't yet experienced.
We were leaning up against each other and still hadn't kissed, and there was a lull in the conversation. We just held eye contact and smiled for about five seconds. And then suddenly... I felt something really weird. It started in my stomach and then in my chest.... wait... I... I really... I really LIKE this girl. She's great. I really, really like her. Like... I feel an emotional connection. I genuinely care about her. Sex aside, I actually give a ****. I had hit a place WITHIN MYSELF within a few hours, something that I had only reached with girlfriends and girls I dated for months. I looked into her eyes and could tell she felt the same thing.
At that moment, I knew she was mine for the rest of the night. There wasn't a shred of doubt, there were no logistics to deal with (her friends simply left me alone with her with no questioning -- this whole "being genuine" thing has its benefits), no excuses, no insecurities, worries, fears. She trusted me and we would be together for the night. No question.
I was right. At about 1AM I told her I was tired and had work and wanted to leave. Every other time I've said this, it's been either as a false takeaway, or to take advantage of her "buying temperature" for the SNL. This time I was serious. She came outside with me, then walked home with me, then sat on my bed with me, where we continued to talk about deeper and more personal things.
What she shared was interesting. She hated bars. She only went because her friends did. Up until a year ago, she had been overweight (she lost 35 pounds in a little less than a year -- the hardest thing she's ever done or worked for). Guys would never talk to her until recently when she lost the weight. As a result, she finds herself completely mistrusting any guy's intentions whatsoever. She had never gone home with a guy from a bar before. When she did feel comfortable with a guy, her shyness prevented her from being too sexual or forward with him. She had a string of guys she dated by never a serious boyfriend. Only guys who were afraid to get close to her or she was afraid to get close to them.
But she said she felt like I knew her better than any of those other guys, even though we had only spent a few hours together. She trusted me. She said that she completely trusted me. I finally kissed her.
As the night went on, we retreated to the bed and began fooling around. This is when she dropped the bomb: she told me she was a virgin.
I've been with five virgins before (well, now six). Most were girlfriends, but in every case, the girl was conflicted, anxious and dead serious about not having sex. I tell guys that LMR with virgins is measured in months, not minutes. It's true. The last virgin I was with would make out with me at parties for months until finally one night she just told me to do it. I had tried to pull all the stops with her -- all of the LMR tactics, the comfort tactics, freeze-outs, etc. I told her that it was OK, I understand, secretly hoping she'd think I was so caring and sensitive and then **** me.
To put it bluntly, sarging a virgin is like playing tennis against a brick wall... you lose.
My reaction was different this time. As soon as she told me this, I immediately resigned myself to the thought of ****ing her. Without hesitation, and with complete sincerity I said, "That's OK, you don't have to do anything you don't want to."
There was a pause. Then she said it:
"I want to."
. Girls act like that lots of times even if they are attracted. Attraction doesn't mean interest necessarily. Besides, I'd be more weary of girls who act too friendly when I first meet them then the opposite. I was actually agreeing with what you said about PU philosophy and "attraction tactics" and now you want to contradict yourself just to disagree with me. You make me regret I even responded to your LR.