Lowering standards

[evan12]

Good. Evaluating and defining your standards are the hallmark of a DJ.


I'm not going to go with your NFL example, as chances of securing such position I can only assume to be 1 out of 50,000 or so.

Let's revert back to Stu:

Stu is a 5/6. Stu desires 8s (his previous gf) and 9s. Stu wants to be the best Stu he can be and so makes the following capital improvements:

1) Stu is balding. So he's gets on RU/avodart/minoxidil, maybe even a hair transplant (depending on the extent of his balding).

2) Stu is out of shape. Stu proceeds to build the body of a Greek god.

3) Stu is average looking. Stu decides to invest 5K-10K into his face to improve facial aesthetics.

4) Stu secures a wardrobe fit for a king.

5) Stu gets a few facial chemical peels to even out skin tone and for youthful-looking skin.

6) Stu has slightly crooked teeth that could use slight cosmetic work. Stu gets Invisalign to straighten his teeth. Stu also professionally whitens his teeth.

What are the chances of Stu securing his desired 8/9 if he puts in enough effort now? I'd say close to 100%. What would you say?

The question is, are all the capital improvements above compensatory for the life Stu desires? That's for the individual to decide. But one thing is certain: Never tell anyone to lower their standards because they are not good enough to meet those standards (not directed at you Zekko). Instead, tell them if they wish to meet those high standards, they will need to put in the work and improve.

Rereading OP's original post: Sure, while you are making those improvements, to eradicate the scarcity dilemma, welcome all into your harem. Being abundant in plates, will bring you more and higher caliber plates.

So you are admitting that if some one is 6 it is hard to get 8 unless he do some improvement , and that mean if some improvements are impossible like the guy is too short , it is better to not expect a lot.
but again , what if the guys is not popular or that social , then again he need more improvement on that side too . what if the guy is really ugly ?
my point is assuming you can get any girl is just illusion , just like a fat girl who think she can get a 10 guy to commit to her . that that happen ? rarely .

 

[Amazing]

there are so many cute 7.5-8.5 in barcelona right now it's almost vomit inducing. and they ****. and if you're too stupid and too attached to keep looking at the 9s-9.5 that are also around the city right now, you'll miss out. ask me how i know.


now the issue i'm curious about is - you meet a girl who likes to go have sex with different guys, she's still young. I feel like I'm not into her that much, and don't want to have sex. I'm kind of lying- I'm a guy so of course I want sex, but I feel like I'm keeping myself to a better standard. (and it's just this particular girl because she and I are from the same country, so I am trying to show what a 'quality guy' is like. Maybe I'm trying to make her change her wh0re ways and have her think she really cares for me before I have sex.. Man, sounds like an ego issue and I shouldn't care. I feel like me having sex with her (she likes me a lot) is kind of ...well let's say settling.

but didn't I just contradict my earlier point? or is this different?

 

[Slickster]

Rereading OP's original post: Sure, while you are making those improvements, to eradicate the scarcity dilemma, welcome all into your harem. Being abundant in plates, will bring you more and higher caliber plates.

Thank you!

 

[Fruitbat]

"I don't care if I'm single, I deserve a 9. I slept with a few 9s before, so it's princess charming or nothing"

Amusingly, the best looking; most ripped of my friends are always saying "don't settle for that, you can do better" or suggesting I go and talk to women who wouldn't date me in a million years.

FYI, that attitude is NOT the problem. Guys who have been blessed with good genetics live in a fantasy world where they ascribe their success to just being such a downright great person. This is why they suggest their lower end mates just do S they do, just go and talk to that 10, I did, it's nothing to do with the fact I'm tall, muscular and good looking....I'm not just lucky, I DID IT MYSeLF!

Same as the hot babe who hits 40 and feels ignored. I was such an awesome person when I was young, what changed?

It's a big fault of mine I don't keep myself in great shape. I have trained on and off for years but it seems I have to dvote every waking second to gym and diet to get any type of improvement, even then 6 months graft sheds a bit of fat, even lifting hArd I never look ripped or muscular. Some people just ain't got it folks and applying the logic of the blessed to any other guy is utterly stupid. Like tNotalgia Paraestheticaelling a cripple he can walk if only he believes, look, I can, so can you

I'm blessed with the gift of the gab. I'm a very successfull salesman and finance professional. If anyone can talk their way into things , it's me.

When approaching a 8+ I get negative feedback almost immediately, the more I gab, they hate you for it, or will exploit you for it.

Funnily enough, I'm about 15-20 pounds overweight (I'm big though so not that bad) and 8+ 90% are hung up on this.

My 6 would be an 8 if she wasn't about as overweight as me. I find no issue really, still gets me horny.

Women are many more times looks focussed than us, if they are hot, that's for sure.

The only way I could ever match this and get buff would be to give up my job.

Women with ugly men is a myth, I've seen this far, far more times the other way around. Women are ok being single rather than date down. Guys need sex.

 

[guru1000]

1. Guys who have been blessed with good genetics live in a fantasy world where they ascribe their success to just being such a downright great person. This is why they suggest their lower end mates just do S they do, just go and talk to that 10, I did, it's nothing to do with the fact I'm tall, muscular and good looking....I'm not just lucky, I DID IT MYSeLF!

2. I have trained on and off for years but it seems I have to dvote every waking second to gym and diet to get any type of improvement, even then 6 months graft sheds a bit of fat, even lifting hArd I never look ripped or muscular.

3. Like tNotalgia Paraestheticaelling a cripple he can walk if only he believes, look, I can, so can you

4. When approaching a 8+ I get negative feedback almost immediately, the more I gab, they hate you for it, or will exploit you for it.

5. Funnily enough, I'm about 15-20 pounds overweight (I'm big though so not that bad) and 8+ 90% are hung up on this.

6. The only way I could ever match this and get buff would be to give up my job.

Whine, whine, whine. Six excuses to fail to improve. I think we have a winner!

Slickster: Hence, my diatribe. It's not about abundance for some. Some will just concoct 1000 reasons for their famine, precluding their growth.

Gentlemen, stop facilitating your failure. Stop the deleterious inner talk. Do just one small thing a day to improve, and you will find one year from now, you will not recognize who you are today.

 

[evan12]

Whine, whine, whine. Six excuses to fail to improve. I think we have a winner!

Slickster: Hence, my diatribe. It's not about abundance for some. Some will just concoct 1000 reasons for their famine, precluding their growth.

Gentlemen, stop facilitating your failure. Stop the deleterious inner talk. Do just one small thing a day to improve, and you will find one year from now, you will not recognize who you are today.

Because you are good looking you cant take that , I used to be in your situation when I was younger and good looking , I was thinking getting any girl is possible , and I was correct, I was able to do that , but I didnt know the reason was because I was fit ,tall , full hair , handsome. after I become 7 (or maybe I am really 5 or 6 ) , I now go to girls and get rejected. I do the same thing I was doing before , but it is no longer work .
be blad and without that muscular body , and show me how can you really date HB8 younger than you by 15 year .
if somebody told me at that time it is because you are handsome I wouldnt believe him , but now I fully understand that LOOK DOES MATTER

 

[guru1000]

Evan, show me where I say looks don't matter.

Are you bald? Why?
Are you not muscular? Why?
Are you not lean? Why?
Do you have a bad complexion? Why?
Do you have bad or crooked teeth? Why?
Is your face poor aesthetically? Why?

Ok, so you are a 5. What have you done to improve your situation?

 

[evan12]

Evan, show me where I say looks don't matter.? when you ask guys regardless of their look to not lower their standards then you imply that

Are you bald? Why? genetics , I am preparing for hair transplant this winter even though I am not fully bald
Are you not muscular? Why?
Are you not lean? Why?
I was the "good guy" who was busy in study and work , I didnt start lifting weight until mid twenties and even after that I didnt have a time with a full time job to spend a lot of time in gym , I have a jobless guy who get his body ripped because he is spending all the morning at gym , while I barely able to spend 6 ours per week .


Do you have a bad complexion? Why?No , but I feel the age making my skin look less fresh
Do you have bad or crooked teeth? Why?No
Is your face poor aesthetically? Why? No

Ok, so you are a 5. What have you done to improve your situation?
I did LASIK to my eyes , going to gym , diet , meditation , improved my self financially. and my future improvement plans is all about improving my look , "hair transplant " , getting tuned body and muscular.

is there any thing to do more I really want to get better ?

 

[Moy_1974]

Try lifting 5 times a week and having a fit, muscular body - only to have 250lb landwhales 10-15 years your senior messaging you complimenting you on your shape, then stating that you should be dating them in spite of the age/size disparity due to you being 5ft 8.

I'm in a situation where depsite being in shape, I have to settle for obese grannies or give up completely because of my height.

I chose the latter.

 

[englishman]

I have a buddy who doesn't really do anything to increase his attractiveness to women but has all kids of theories about how older out of shape dudes can get young hotties.

While at the same time getting non of this attraction from the young hotties.

He's never been to the gym, has hairs growing out his nose etc..

So what's the difference between him being like that and a fatty women complaining about no good men? Not much.

I don't agree that going for 5s or 6s and not 10s 9s is a sign of low self esteem.

Thinking your more than you are is actually a case of low self esteem.

Think fatties who think they should be picked up by a rich handsome prince... Low self esteem or delusional high self esteem?

 

[glass half full]

So, utilizing all said methods available for improving, be it facial reconstruction, hair removal, penile enhancement surgery. But I'm still 5'6".

Does this mean I need to have height surgery too (it is possible, but costly) in order to attract and keep a 7.5- 8.5 or better...what do you guys think about this, I've very interested and curious. I have a book that suggests how to maximize potential even as a short man. They seem to think it's possible without increasing height.

And I was talking to a nice local nurse recently while waiting to see the Doc, I mentioned this phenomenon (i.e. "So what do most women consider the minimum height for a decent, dateable guy?" She said 5'6". I told her my near 51 years feel otherwise, she said she didn't think it was that big a deal.

I do trust this woman's opinion, she's a very decent gal. Wish she was available!!!

I have seen some very hot women with guys my height, and even an inch or two shorter. And was very jealous. I get looks from gals occasionally who are damn nice looking when they are with another man. But again, I don't know if they were bored with their date, didn't like him that well, or really into me. This is asking to think "Woman", which I suck at. Whenever I try to roll with it around a gal, thinking I understand, I find my success rate at impact is about .2%. lmao...

 

[zekko]

Guru, you're an advocate of plastic surgery, have you had anything done? Just curious.

I know PUA gurus tell you to consider yourself a 10, and be delusionally self confident. I can see where that might be a useful tool for some fellows.

But englishman makes a valid point, does this really indicate low self esteem? I mean, no one is a 10, so having to think that you are to talk to women sounds like you're overcompensating for something.

To me, it just sets you up for a fall, because if you were really a 10, everyone would be treating you a certain way. Once you see that they don't, you've set up an incongruence between reality and what you think. Better to accept yourself as you are and work to improve.

 

[guru1000]

is there any thing to do more I really want to get better ?

1. Keep lifting.
2. Stay lean.
3. Add RU/Avodart/minoxildil to your hair regime. Hair transplant will not serve your interests long-term if you continue losing the rest of your hair.
4. Hair transplant: Go with FUT. Put all transplanted hairs in the hairline and frontal third. Use Toppik for the top. You have max 10,000 follicles you can transport on an average head of 50,000.
5. Complexion: Get two chemical peels per year and a tight skin regimen. I use clay masks, micro-dermabrasions, derma-rollers.

So, utilizing all said methods available for improving, be it facial reconstruction, hair removal, penile enhancement surgery. But I'm still 5'6".

Does this mean I need to have height surgery too (it is possible, but costly) in order to attract and keep a 7.5- 8.5 or better...what do you guys think about this, I've very interested and curious. I have a book that suggests how to maximize potential even as a short man. They seem to think it's possible without increasing height.

1. Utilize all low-risk surgeries. Spinal surgery for height is high-risk. I have a friend who is also 5'6 and pulls 9s regularly. Though, he is also a 9. Go for shorter girls 4'11 to 5'4 range.
   
   
2. Use 1-3 inch platform-soles in your shoes. Once you bang the girls, they hardly care.

Guru, you're an advocate of plastic surgery, have you had anything done? Just curious.

Pimpin' ain't easy.

This is a pretty solid debate. I can understand both sides fully.

I don't think many could argue against my position. I'm not saying don't fvck or date low-hanging fruit. We should all invite abundance into our lives. My position is don't give up on your long-term goals, or high-hanging fruit. Keep improving and striving for what you genuinely want.

 

[Suspens]

At first you might feel a sense of relief and happiness but in the long run the "Man I can do better, my previous hot plates prove that" thought will ruin all of that.

 

[Slickster]

If you find both a HB9 and a HB7 attractive answer the following question...

What does having a HB9 as a partner actually do for you versus a HB7 ? What personal benefit do you gain?

 

[Die Hard]

Double post

 

[Die Hard]

Slick, is this the same philosophy you practiced when you were chasing women? Did you choose to settle for an HB7 partner instead of an HB9 partner? How would you rate your own wife? Is she an HB7?

 

[zekko]

What does having a HB9 as a partner actually do for you versus a HB7 ? What personal benefit do you gain?

This reminds me of people who use the binary scale to describe women. A 1 means she's doable. A 0 means she isn't. Some claim that going beyond this is just pedestalizing women, although I don't agree with that outlook.

If you are talking about having a partner, honestly I would prefer a 7 over a 9. Because the truth is I can relate better to a 7 than a 9. The HB9s I've known have received, on a daily basis, a jaw-dropping amount of attention from the opposite sex. And although I consider myself a catch, I can't claim I get a jaw-dropping amount of attention from women just by walking around. So how do I relate to that? Besides, the way I rate, 7s are plenty hot, IMO.

The 9s are higher value, know they have a multitude of options, and are less willing to compromise or make concessions. Those attitudes may be all right for a male, but for a woman who is supposed to be submissive, not so much. In essence, these women have been ruined by male attention. That's why I would prefer a 7 for a relationship. I've always said 9s are only good to bang. YMMV.

 

[Slickster]

Slick, is this the same philosophy you practiced when you were chasing women? Did you choose to settle for an HB7 partner instead of an HB9 partner? How would you rate your own wife? Is she an HB7?

It's just a question. I'm curious about the responses. None so far......

My LTRs were HB7s to HB9s. (I did have one HB6 who I was with for awhile but she had an exceptional personality and the sex was over the top good.)

I have no idea why you think I'm pushing a philosophy. My initial response to this thread was "Probably the biggest thing holding most guys back is they aren't realistic about the standard of women they are able to attract."

I'm all for self improvement and shooting for the best possible but that is a mindset I only hear about here on SS. In the real world 9 out of 10 guys are shooting for the moon but missing the self improvement part. I don't understand why you guys can't see that.

P.S. When I was single I wasn't chasing women. They chased me.

 

[Fruitbat]

Add this to the mix....

Just returned from holiday in e Europe

My mate likes tall brunettes

I like little blondes

I thought every woman there was 8 and up

He thought although less fat whales, he prefers English women.

If he wasn't married, we agreed we would be excellent wingmen as we have differing tastes.

I like cutesy girls. Some guys like hourglass big boob playboy girls. I know a body builder who likes masculine girls I'd never ever date.

There are some women who are so aethlietixally pleasing, all men would bang.

Other than that, the rating system is off. I have no interest in large asses, Italian or Brazilian looking girls. Some men go berserk over them.

One mans 10 is another mans 7.

Oh, by the way, I am going back to see a girl I met there, same age as me but a definite 9. Miles, miles better than I could EVER get here. Plus I'm thinking of moving there.....it's like heaven for a western man, even if you have a few pounds.

Don't get me wrong, I'm 33, I doubt you'll bang 25 year old hotties if your in your 50s, fat and bald (unless you are very rich) but you would still have a much better standard than here.

I had women interested there who would spit in my face here. They are not that poor either, or backward. They just like western men over their own, same as we like them.