Lowering standards

[Fruitbat]

Post divorce I only chased v hot women. My ex wife was a size 6, tiny, very slim. I just couldn't contemplate anything less than this.

Sp followed 2 years of rejection, games, heartache.

Since I changed my approach to "fvck able". I've had a revaluation. Sex with women who may not be a 10, or even a 7, has been much more fun. They work harder, are more desparate, humble, willing to please. I feel more relaxed knowing I'm prob higher value. Sex comes quickly and I don't worry about my gut/physique/performance/schlong size/technique. I just enjoy it.

Following some annoyances with the 2 birds I've been seeing, went back to OLD and got 3 dates with 5-6s. They are not hot but not obese or ugly. If they act hot and receptive that makes the easily fvck able.

It is so easy, 20 mins online and may get sex with 2 women.

I will still try to improve myself to score higher, what I am saying is if you are not banging 8s, bang whoever you can. Your confidence will be much higher.

When going for gold I just felt the pain of led on, rejection, feeling inadequate. Just by opening up to a variety of less hot women I have better self esteem.

Prob against dj principles but has cured my oneitus overnight.

 

[Lozboss]

Whatever works Fruit but always aim for higher.

You deserve people who YOU are attracted to.

 

[Desdinova]

This has somewhat been my approach as of late. The less hot women tend to have less issues for you to deal with. Personally, I don't like wasting my time with women who are going to send me on a frustrating emotional rollercoaster ride. I'm not a woman, and I don't need to have my emotions fluctuating to be more attracted to her.

I find women generally treat men how they want to be treated. A woman who requires a lot of emotional fluctuation to be sexually stimulated will cause her man a lot of emotional fluctuation. She'll flirt with other guys to make her jealous and throw lots of 5hit tests because this is what she requires to be attracted. Since hot women have been exposed to a lot of men, they've constantly tried pushing their limits with them which has caused their need for emotional fluctuation to be higher.

Women who have had less exposure to men need less emotional fluctuation to be stimulated, and are therefore much less of a pain in the ass to deal with. That's why less attractive women have better and more manageable personalities.

The way I see it, there's no point in draining your energy and time on a woman who's a pain in the ass. In the end, pvssy is pvssy regardless of what the woman looks like. If you're getting more satisfaction out of women who are a bit lower on the looks scale, then that's where you should focus. Keep yourself as stress free as possible! It'll keep you healthy

 

[Fruitbat]

I think where I went wrong all these years is I judged fvck ability on "whether I could jack it about her"

I've found this is not the test . When you are with a woman you become more stimulated than if your just looking. My 6 I recently fvcked didn't give me boners looking at her, I didn't get dizzy chatting her up. Was worried I couldn't "raise the flag"! But, once we started it was the most natural thing in the world.

 

[Desdinova]

I find that a lot of sex is psychological. If she doesn't stimulate you psychologically, she won't stimulate you physically. I can come up to bat and fvck a fatty if she's got a decent personality, but I have physical issues Fvcking a hottie who's an outright bytch

 

[Slickster]

Probably the biggest thing holding most guys back is they aren't realistic about the standard of women they are able to attract.

 

[G_Govan]

Probably the biggest thing holding most guys back is they aren't realistic about the standard of women they are able to attract.

I find that people who settle into something with those who are more their "equal" last a lot longer.

If you aim comparatively high be prepared for all that comes with it.

Even wealthy men of status deal with this.

 

[Lozboss]

Probably the biggest thing holding most guys back is they aren't realistic about the standard of women they are able to attract.

Beta thinking. Pedestals.

Nobody should have this mindset unless they are blue pill.

 

[Fruitbat]

Beta thinking. Pedestals.

Nobody should have this mindset unless they are blue pill.

Other way around. The top women tend to go with a very small amount of men. Lies that you see nothing men with hot women. Unless you're very rich or extremely tough ie marine, you will not get hot women consistently without being good looking. I've fvcked some hot chicks but haven't consistently attracted them. When you have been getting nowhere for years then you have a choice. Average or no sex

 

[evan12]

Nothing bad about lower standards , maybe it is just adjusting to what level really you are. every body man or woman tend to add a couple of points to their attractivness level , why else do you think a alot of women complain about not finding a faithful BF , they think they desserve the 10 while only 7 will commit to them

 

[Fruitbat]

Exactly, we can see it with women, the 30 something alpha widow who is not what she once was, the worst advice she could eve have is "keep going for those 10s "

 

[Die Hard]

Probably the biggest thing holding most guys back is they aren't realistic about the standard of women they are able to attract.

Can you clarify what you said here?

 

[mrRuckus]

When you have been getting nowhere for years then you have a choice. Average or no sex

If I were in that situation, given that the average western woman is like 30 lbs over weight, I choose no sex.

Lifting weights and being in shape yourself actually makes it harder to lower standards ever because some flabby woman starts to revolt you even mentally because they are too lazy, too dumb, or too full of themselves to have prevented or to have fixed their issue.

I'm not going to share this piece of art body slaved over for 10 years with some chick that can't control her carbs or lazily ride an exercise bike a few times a week, all that women really need to do to be attractive unlike men who have to put in often painful work under a barbell to approach an ideal masculine body.

I was thinking of this in this new bar/deli I was in yesterday with a friend. These couples kept walking in to sit down at tables and every single woman walking in with their guys (don't like the word guys, but men don't have fat wives) were fat and frumpy. Thank god I'm never getting married. Nearly all will be unbareable in their 40's and I'd be embarrassed to have them at my side.

 

[Desdinova]

Probably the biggest thing holding most guys back is they aren't realistic about the standard of women they are able to attract.

A woman's looks have nothing to do with how she matches up with a man. Women are generally attracted to the same things with a few exceptions.

If you're referring to how a woman's attracted to a man's looks, it depends on how his looks trigger her emotions. If she loved Bon Jovi's 1980s look, her emotions will be triggered by guys with long hair and denim. If she likes bikers and motorcycles, her emotions will be triggered by men in leather. However, none of these mean that she'll turn down a regular guy who can send her emotions on a wild rollercoaster ride.

I'm able to date all across the board. The most compatible woman for me is the one with the least personality defects and no orbiters.

 

[Slickster]

Can you clarify what you said here?

Sure DH,

I'm saying if you consider yourself a 7 on the attractiveness scale then you should expect to attract similar. Nothing wrong with shooting for that HB9 but it's going to be rare where that actually works out. That is the natural order of things.

I'm NOT saying if you consider yourself a 7 you should go for HB5's.

It's obvious that every person on the planet wants the hottest partners. Maybe that's TV and Hollywood's effect on the population. It's just not realistic now is it.

I work for an organization that sees hundreds of 20 somethings filter through every year. (Think summer camp for university students.) Every year I see the VAST majority of young men all vie for the attention of the hottest girls there. They get NOTHING. If I were to line these guys up and give them a rating they would generally be 4's, 5's, and 6's. (ie. average as can be.) However each and everyone of these guys thinks and expects he's going to snag that HB9. When I point out that "Hey I noticed Sally (HB6) over here really seems to have a shine on for you." I get the same kind of "yuck" response every time. Some guys figure it out (usually when they get older) and those guys clean up. For most though they are living in a dream world and probably spend their nights alone jerking off thinking about HB9.

If a dude thinks he's a 7 but can't hook up with any chicks he thinks are HB7's then maybe it's time to take a look in the mirror and re-evaluate.

Nothing wrong with aiming high but drifting too far from reality doesn't help. As the OP points out getting some experience (with whoever) is a valuable skill that will help every guy reach higher.

Cheers.

 

[Slickster]

A woman's looks have nothing to do with how she matches up with a man. Women are generally attracted to the same things with a few exceptions.

If you're referring to how a woman's attracted to a man's looks, it depends on how his looks trigger her emotions. If she loved Bon Jovi's 1980s look, her emotions will be triggered by guys with long hair and denim. If she likes bikers and motorcycles, her emotions will be triggered by men in leather. However, none of these mean that she'll turn down a regular guy who can send her emotions on a wild rollercoaster ride.

I'm able to date all across the board. The most compatible woman for me is the one with the least personality defects and no orbiters.

Ya and you're probably an above average looking guy. Most guys aren't.

I kind of agree with the stirring emotions bit as long as the two people are similar on the attractiveness scale.

In general ugly people don't hook up with hot people. Men get to push the envelope a little bit if they do well with the money, power, fame thing but we are talking "generally" and "realistic" here.

 

[Fatal Jay]

lower your standards mean you have low self esteem.

Even as a little kid I always gunned for the hottest chick in the room

 

[Slickster]

lower your standards mean you have low self esteem.

Even as a little kid I always gunned for the hottest chick in the room

Ya, you and the other 20 guys in the room.

One lucky guy actually got her. 3 guys were smart and saw the situation and started banging all the other lesser girls. The other 16 guys spent their nights alone jerking off. You know to maintain their standards.

After many years of the same results those same 16 guys joined Sosuave and are found daily here on the Mature Man forum complaining about the state of the world and the war against women.

I'm pretty sure the 3 guys who "lowered" their standards and have been screwing the HB7s their whole lives are doing just fine in the self esteem department.

Look I'm not saying anyone should primarily focus on women that are beneath themselves. If you are a 5, 6 or 7 you aren't going to be scoring HB9s on a regular basis. That's reality. All I'm saying is be realistic about who you can attract.

Nothing wrong with dreaming big and doing your best though. We all want to be movie stars, rock stars and pro athletes too.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Having standards is fine, but I see a lot of guys on sosuave using high standards as an excuse for all of their failures with women. If you're a 40 y/o virgin, your problems are with yourself, not with the state of the world's women.

The older I get, the more my own HB rating of a woman factors in attitude and bedroom compatibility. If a girl demands that I wine and dine her, and immediately assume the path to marrying her, and especially if she is a boring fvck, then she's not a hb 9-10 in my eyes any more.

 

[Fruitbat]

Good stuff above.

My op was never saying get women below you if you can bang better.

I'm saying it's better to bang a variety of women at lower levels than stay celibate for the odd 9.

I'm sure the dudes lamenting lowering standards are prob higher smv, or think they do.

I've had as good a time with a 6 who I like than 8 and up. The ONLY thing I miss (my ex wife being pretty, petite slim from e Europe) is the ego boost of having other dudes think I'm lucky. The actual joy of sex really isn't that much different, as I age I truly think that beyond a reasonable expectation ie not grossly fat or ugly, looks after hair and appearance etc, the personality of the girl and her sexuality makes good sex. Now, there are really hot girls who are great personality and sexuality too, but fewer I would say. If you can bag them, great, do it. But if you're going without sex for several months trying to get women out of your league, cease and just get some action. This will actually improve your game with the hb, stop needyness and demonstrate better value than being eternally single.

Don't forget with smv, women think differently. Example. One girl is only a 6 looks but well off and has her **** together. A hb who played me badly, strung me along for the attention suddenly picks up interest. She's not going to sleep with me, but she suddenly wants my focus. She has seen us on Facebook, and this girl, despite being smoking hot, has little career success and is always trying to get ahead and moans about lack of opportunity etc . To her, the 6 is a great catch and intimidates her, because she looks at value from female perspective and sees the job and life of the 6 as being bette than hers, so feels inadequate and seeks my beta orbit again.

She realises she has used her looks, and that's about all she has. I am no longer in orbit as a successfull woman is taking my attention. Now to me, job success means little in a woman's rating but she thinks like a woman and there's a challenge there to her.

Being totally single is worse than having a few 6s who are well groomed and no issues as you are pre selected and attracting women. Most women don't understand how men rate and don't know a 5 from an 8, the number of women who totally fail pointing out the hot woman and think masculine, headstrong women are the hut ones is huge !