Everytime i find a girl that i'm interested in, i tend to obsessed with that girl so much that (thinking about her/waiting for her phone calls/checking emails 1000 a day), if something happens, i always blame on myself. I know i have a very low-seteem, i guess it is because of me not successful with women in the past. Since the new years' day, i haven't had a good night sleep. I skipped meals, didn't go to work for 3 days, i feel like a worthless loser. All i do is get online and waiting for her email .. but the saddest thing is ... it's already over. I don't know how much more i can take this ...
Hello Friend,
If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.
It will be the most efficient use of your time.
And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.
Thank you for visiting and have a great day!
Low-self esteem is slowly killing me
- Thread starter miguel t
- Start date
LA_Chico
Senior Don Juan
damn bro
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Dude, give up on women for the time being and focus on yourself. Stop associating your self worth with whether you receive an email from a woman. Define your worth as a man from the inside out instead of externally.
lee36044
Don Juan
Lived that after the last divorce. It isn't easy but ya gotta get out. Get a hobby, join a gym, anything that you can throw yourself into fanatically. You'll find that the more you get out ... the easier it is to do it .... and the better you feel.
Anyway ... haint nobody ever moved on by waiting. If it's already over ... iit's time to move on.
Anyway ... haint nobody ever moved on by waiting. If it's already over ... iit's time to move on.
Listen to Francisco.miguel t said:
Honestly, I probably wouldnt even bother with this website if i were you, and focus more on improving your own self esteem in whatever way you need it; whether it be professional, dress, "spiritual", physical. Going after the women is step 2, after you get yourself in order first.
realsmoothie
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 30, 2006
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Best advice you could get, honestly!Francisco d'Anconia said:
My self-esteem flags whenever I focus on women so much... because I've been bad with them in the past and whenever I think about sex/women/dating I get reminded of this and get depressed.
But when I focus on OTHER things... work, school, video games, working out, playing sports with friends, etc... I feel SO much better.
Focus on yourself and the women will come. Maybe twice.
musclyjerk
Senior Don Juan
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- Nov 29, 2006
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- 348
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I advise working on yourself - building up your body is a great way if you don't get anal about it and become a bodybuilding recluse (very bad!) - start building your confidence up as a guy. Knowing you're physically strong is very powerful and affirming.
Secondly, read this forum but don't actively try anything with women. As you read the posts and advice your sub-conscious will absorb a wealth of information which will slowly arm you with a variety of tools.
A combination of lifting weights (or a similar physically demanding hobby) and simply reading this forum will over time take you to where you want to be.
I put a massive emphasis on not trying anything with women consciously or actively given you're in a state where you lack self-esteem. You need to build up your esteem and self-worth not reliant upon women and then once you grow in confidence you will find it comes quite naturally with ease.
The Muscly Jerk
Secondly, read this forum but don't actively try anything with women. As you read the posts and advice your sub-conscious will absorb a wealth of information which will slowly arm you with a variety of tools.
A combination of lifting weights (or a similar physically demanding hobby) and simply reading this forum will over time take you to where you want to be.
I put a massive emphasis on not trying anything with women consciously or actively given you're in a state where you lack self-esteem. You need to build up your esteem and self-worth not reliant upon women and then once you grow in confidence you will find it comes quite naturally with ease.
The Muscly Jerk
1) see a psychologist - this forum isn't going to be able to spend the time you need to undo the crap going on in your head
2) i have one question for you, and its really the only question that matters. do you want to live? im not talking suicide here. im talking about your life. you do realize you have one right? you've been given a gift. you have a healthy body and an entire world of possibilities around you. fresh air, fresh water, food, - but you know something, if you can't see all the gifts in life and instead you focus on what you don't have, you're going to be miserable.
one of the issues i have with this forum at times is the whole gaming woman thing, with absolutely no context to life in the greater sense.
life is about sooooo much more than women. if you take a sample of people in life who are truly happy (and trust me, there arent a lot) the thing they all have in common is NOT that they have a significant other. its NOT that they have found the "one". its NOT that they are getting laid by 10 different women. its NOT that other people are jealous or envy of them.
the one thing they ALL share in common is that they are thankful for whatever they have - no matter how little it is. they are thankful that their family is healthy. they are thankful that they are healthy. they are thankful that they have a tomorrow coming.
the BIG difference between people who are unhappy and those who are happy is NOT anything material. its an attitude. one focuses on what they dont have and the other focuses on what they do have.
you're choice my man.
you can see yourself as a victim in life, deprived of all the things that are of any "value" OR you can start seeing that your life is FILLED with value. and perhaps in that process you will realize that one of the most valuable things that no one can take away - only you can give it away - is self respect.
but like i say, i don't expect my post here to get you to see that. you need to sit down with someone and work your problems out.
good luck dude. it will get better if you believe that its possible and take some action to make it get better.
2) i have one question for you, and its really the only question that matters. do you want to live? im not talking suicide here. im talking about your life. you do realize you have one right? you've been given a gift. you have a healthy body and an entire world of possibilities around you. fresh air, fresh water, food, - but you know something, if you can't see all the gifts in life and instead you focus on what you don't have, you're going to be miserable.
one of the issues i have with this forum at times is the whole gaming woman thing, with absolutely no context to life in the greater sense.
life is about sooooo much more than women. if you take a sample of people in life who are truly happy (and trust me, there arent a lot) the thing they all have in common is NOT that they have a significant other. its NOT that they have found the "one". its NOT that they are getting laid by 10 different women. its NOT that other people are jealous or envy of them.
the one thing they ALL share in common is that they are thankful for whatever they have - no matter how little it is. they are thankful that their family is healthy. they are thankful that they are healthy. they are thankful that they have a tomorrow coming.
the BIG difference between people who are unhappy and those who are happy is NOT anything material. its an attitude. one focuses on what they dont have and the other focuses on what they do have.
you're choice my man.
you can see yourself as a victim in life, deprived of all the things that are of any "value" OR you can start seeing that your life is FILLED with value. and perhaps in that process you will realize that one of the most valuable things that no one can take away - only you can give it away - is self respect.
but like i say, i don't expect my post here to get you to see that. you need to sit down with someone and work your problems out.
good luck dude. it will get better if you believe that its possible and take some action to make it get better.
S.S.N. 318
Don Juan
^^^real talk...Im try to be living in a mansion and living it up and going all around da world....fa realz...its gonna come...joekerr31 said:
Doggystyle
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2005
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- 374
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Set yourself some goals and get some passions in your life that doesn't revolve around women, like what Francisco said. Your self esteem will go sky rocket. Its ok to want women but not ok to need one, this will repel people away. You should never put emphasis on other people to determine your well being. Once you shift that focus from people back into your life then people are naturally drawn towards you. Honestly is ridiculous how well this works, get no time to myself!
Also start eating and sleeping properly!!!!
Also start eating and sleeping properly!!!!
Hopefully, you are just temporarily bummed out with the New Year and things will get better. But, if it lasts 2 weeks, go see a doc, doesn’t even have to be a shrink. If it lasts that long, could be major depression and you need meds/therapy or both.
Any woman you get involved with now will reflect your current state of mind. That’s the only way it could get worse.
Any woman you get involved with now will reflect your current state of mind. That’s the only way it could get worse.