low libido: a pro or a con?

[jhonny9546]

We actually think of an alpha male as someone with a high libido and a beta male as someone with a low libido.

But is this actually true? Does having a lower libido make your life worse?

For example, a man with a lower libido might focus more on his tasks, while a man with a high libido may have trouble concentrating because he is distracted by women.

What do you think? Is having a higher libido always better?

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

The assumption you're making is that a man is always a slave to his sexual urges, which isn't true. A man who is disciplined with his body will tend to have a higher libido. If he's disciplined with his mind then he'll be able to direct that energy towards productive tasks regardless of how horny he is.

Typically the longer you can delay gratification, the better the outcome.

 

[Lotus Effect]

That's a very black or white analysis, hence a very black or white question.

 

[Mike32ct]

Low libido would give a guy a natural DGAF around women.

But I’m honestly starting to think that DGAF is very overrated (and possibly even counterproductive) when it comes to attracting women. They want a guy that wants them.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Low libido would give a guy a natural DGAF around women.

But I’m honestly starting to think that DGAF is very overrated (and possibly even counterproductive) when it comes to attracting women. They want a guy that wants them.

I think you got the concept wrong bro.

Low libido does not give a DGAF attitute, low libido wanes of non threatening/nice guy vibes.
That is very unnactrative to the opposite s€x.

The natural DGAF attitude comes from a place of high esteem, that only a true stud on it's relentless path can vibe.
Which in the other hand, is very attractive.

Pretty much what this guy said:

The assumption you're making is that a man is always a slave to his sexual urges, which isn't true. A man who is disciplined with his body will tend to have a higher libido. If he's disciplined with his mind then he'll be able to direct that energy towards productive tasks regardless of how horny he is.

Typically the longer you can delay gratification, the better the outcome.

Anyways, when in doubt, refer to the book of pook, in this case, 'the 15 lessons' and 'to all skinny guys'

 

[jhonny9546]

Very nice points guys!

They want a guy that wants them.

This is bluepill (IMHO)
They wants you to show initial interest, and then they want/must chase you.
LTR are difficult guys..You must act like a man, and play no manipolation.
This will make women turned off. But the right women will come, and stay with you!

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

In a vaccuum, if a man's focus was on achieving success and minimizing distraction, but he had poor self-control, then yes, high libido is bad.

This question as a hypothetical doesn't have much value, because low libido is a sign something is wrong with your hormones, endocrine system, or dopamine/reward system.

I can speak from experience as someone who has had chronically low libido for over half my life now. Libido is highly correlated with dopaminergic function. When my libido is low, my motivation is low, and I'm generally apathetic about everything. When it's high, I'm motivated and engaged with the world, and while the decision to pursue women is more appealing, it's not a compulsion.

Plus, if we relate this to women, having low libido is very, very, very bad. Women want a sexual man who desires them and is sexually adventurous, who flirts and builds sexual tension, where they can see that raw sexual desire in his eyes. Rarely will you do well with women if you have no sex drive, it removes your killer instinct and neuters a core aspect of sexual dynamics. Again to speak with my own experience, every date I've had where I showed up ready to fvck (not in an entitled way, but hoping to, and wanting to create sexual tension/undertones) ended up going well, but if I showed up with a low libido it typically went nowhere. Furthermore, when it's low I often cease communication with all women i'm talking to, and lose out on opportunities. This isn't a good thing, even if women are a low priority in your life. It's better to have the drive/interest to pursue them, and choose not to, than not having the desire at all.

 

[Mike32ct]

In a vaccuum, if a man's focus was on achieving success and minimizing distraction, but he had poor self-control, then yes, high libido is bad.

This question as a hypothetical doesn't have much value, because low libido is a sign something is wrong with your hormones, endocrine system, or dopamine/reward system.

I can speak from experience as someone who has had chronically low libido for over half my life now. Libido is highly correlated with dopaminergic function. When my libido is low, my motivation is low, and I'm generally apathetic about everything. When it's high, I'm motivated and engaged with the world, and while the decision to pursue women is more appealing, it's not a compulsion.

Plus, if we relate this to women, having low libido is very, very, very bad. Women want a sexual man who desires them and is sexually adventurous, who flirts and builds sexual tension, where they can see that raw sexual desire in his eyes. Rarely will you do well with women if you have no sex drive, it removes your killer instinct and neuters a core aspect of sexual dynamics. Again to speak with my own experience, every date I've had where I showed up ready to fvck (not in an entitled way, but hoping to, and wanting to create sexual tension/undertones) ended up going well, but if I showed up with a low libido it typically went nowhere. Furthermore, when it's low I often cease communication with all women i'm talking to, and lose out on opportunities. This isn't a good thing, even if women are a low priority in your life. It's better to have the drive/interest to pursue them, and choose not to, than not having the desire at all.

Exactly. You explained it a lot better than I did.

 

[The Duke]

Libido and self control are two different things. I've never heard libido used to characterize alpha males.

If you lack self control, you won't be alpha like.

 

[MatureDJ]

I remember True Forced Loneliness prophet "Roller" Steve Hoca saying how his marathon-race passion (he was 40+ running them in 3-!) sapped him of his sexual urges, and how it was a relief to him.

 

[MatureDJ]

Low libido would give a guy a natural DGAF around women.

But I’m honestly starting to think that DGAF is very overrated (and possibly even counterproductive) when it comes to attracting women. They want a guy that wants them.

I think the DGAF meme is just MGTOW-ish cope.

 

[SW15]

Generally, this is a con. Having a strong desire for sex is good. Being able to satisfy that strong sexual desire with real life sex is better.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Generally, this is a con. Having a strong desire for sex is good. Being able to satisfy that strong sexual desire with real life sex is better.

Yes and yes.

Pretty straightforward actually

 

[Fruitbat]

Low libido is either down to low hormones or medical issues, or too much stress or low confidence.

It’s not a good thing.

However….lack of desperation is a good thing. Since I got married and I have what I need on tap, at work and other places I am no longer trying to attract women. So I don’t do and say things to try to look good, I don’t try to flirt much. This ironically seems to make you more desirable.

example, one guy at work is much younger and a bit of a peacock. He’s tried to diss me subtly a couple times. Back when I was single, I would have desparately tried to confront and get flustered. Now I just find it amusing and tend to turn to the nearest people, raise an eyebrow and say something like “erm…sure mate, I love you too” and carry on with my ****. Disarms it all and he ends up looking like a dck.

all because I’m not trying to be anything, I don’t care, only time I care is if it interferes with my work goals.

 

[BaronOfHair]

A pro, IF

-You're an 8 year old boy

-It's your Scout Master who possesses that low libido

Otherwise, you'll be the first kid in the 2nd grade who requires tampons, eons before your female peers have to fret such things

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Most men who are in shape have higher libido because their body is more optimized hormonally and has less "crap" circulating in terms of estrogen from fat cells and inflammatory compounds.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

A high libido with strong self control is preferable over a low libido with mediocre self control.

Women are not attracted to men who don't fancy them, they are attracted to men who fancy them but have the self-control and self-esteem to not mindlessly follow their penis.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

High libido gives you some aggression to cold approach and you can pivot that energy to work smarter to make more income or even bleed it out on a 5k run or lifting week in week out. Anything to boost your self-currency.

High libido is a brutal strong mental health sign for me. If I had prolonged low libido then I wouldn’t feel capable of closing women, having some gist of motivation in life and I would fall in a rut.
I believe that a high libido single man with natural discipline has some structure and maturity going on especially when navigating through a famine of pvssy. Most women gravite to attractive calm and collected men.

I notice that I have goat levels of raw libido in a happy relationship or fwb with a hot chick rather than when I’m single and not getting laid.

 

[Borknagar]

Mines went down significantly which might have to do with both my anxiety meds and my experiences catching up to the point it's hard for me to continue wanting to pursue something so pointless.

 

[zekko]

Low libido would give a guy a natural DGAF around women.

But I’m honestly starting to think that DGAF is very overrated (and possibly even counterproductive) when it comes to attracting women. They want a guy that wants them.

I agree. Of course the guy wants them. If he DGAF he wouldn't even bother to interact with her. What turns them off is desperation, not a little healthy attraction.

I could see where a low libido might help, at least initially. One reason male teenagers tend to be so awkward around the opposite sex is their hormones are so raging they can't get out of their own way. Once they get older and they calm down a bit, they are more in control of the situation. Of course the low libido has to be within reason - you don't want to lack virility when you need it.