Low Interest or Unsure of me?

[GameTime76]

I'll try to keep this short and simple...

The last few months ago I got a new job at a grocery store as a butcher. There is a girl that works there whom I happen to like. I know some are already thinking I shouldnt date a gal from work. But, we hardly see each other unless passing by or happen to be in the break room. I'm always in the meat dept. as she is in the pharmacy or floral dept.

Anyways, after creating some rapport here and there I had a chance to talk to her 1 on 1 in the parking lot...

Me - I was wondering if you want to get together and shoot pool with me sometime?

Her - I'm a pretty busy person. (Pause).. But, I might have some spare time coming up, I'll let you know.

Me - Oh really? Well, I dont get a chance to see you much. Just thought we could hang out sometime but let me know.

Her - Yeah, I'll let you know.

I didnt really plan out what I was going to say. I just saw a opportunity to ask and went for it. Maybe I asked wrong, said too much or wasnt confident.

After that I didnt see her for one week. Our schedules are different. Now that a week went by I finally do see her. She said Hi, hows it going. I Was busy and just Good Morning and went about my business. Later on I run into her outside on my smoke break. I started talking about the UFC fights she brought up football and ect. Then, I ended the conversation and went back to work.

So, whats the deal? I ask for a date. She says "She'll let me know." I talk to her after I ask her out. Not mentioning anything so not that I am desperate. And I cant get a Yes or No answer?

I'm figuring her IL is low. Though she's not avoinding me and we continue to have small talk when we run into each other. Maybe she is unsure of me? I guess if she was interested she would of said Yes when I asked or atleast follow up by now.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Tell her you are going to do something this weekend (shoot pool, whatever). Tell her "Come on out with me" or "Why don't you come on out with me?", depending on yoru personality. Notice that you are essentially giving her an order here.

Be VERY casual, don't peer at her for an answer, just be extremely low-key, as if you thought of inviting her as an afterthought. Also project that you couldn't care less whether she says yes or no.

Even if she says no this time, your value in her eyes will skyrocket and she will regard you differently from now on. She will think about you a lot and may well say yes down the road.

 

[NotAgain]

I've been in that situation my friend and yes she is not interested. If woman were interested they would jump through fire to see you. Best bet is just keep chipping away at it. Flirt, play around and stuff and try to increase her interest level and try again later.

Also realise there are plenty other woman out there so don't get caught up on this one!

 

[window]

yeah she's not interested...I'll let you know is polite for no. Next time though just ask for the girls number and see what reaction she gives you. Also better to be more definate in your suggestions instead of leaving it open like you did using "sometime". What you are saying to her when you say this is I'm available to you whenever you want to get together...

Still your best approach from here is to just be polite around work and never ask her again. You might find she may bring it up and ask you ! but it would be a mistake to ask her again I would think. It is her turn to show up to the party.

 

[Jariel]

Sounds like low IL, but it may be that she has a boyfriend or another man in her life, so don't take it personally.

When I ask a girl out, I usually try to judge her reaction. Many girls will respond in a cool way so they don't appear too keen, but watch her body language. Does she smile and look directly at you? That's good. Or does she look away, stutter or look uncomfortable? That's bad.

Like Window said, just continue as normal, but don't ask again, at least not unless she throws herself at you. If she's interested she will come seeking your attention.

 

[Mr. Suave]

Don't worry about it. It doesn't mean she's not interested... Well it might but it's not always that way. Many times a girl has turned me down, then suddenly she's up for a one-on-one meet...

Interestingly I once invited a girl over alone for a movie. She declined saying she wants other people there. I told her other people can't go because I want to get with her... At this point she accepted my offer.

She did decline you though, for sure. If she says "busy", she's turning you down. It's about 95% certain. I don't think she'll let you know at all...

Talk to her more, be a bit touchy with her, outright state interest (not in a pathetic way) and try again in a few weeks. On more than one occassion a girl has changed her mind when I outright say I'm into her as more than a friend and want to meet up for that reason. I'm pretty certain it's obvious enough just from asking, but sometimes it's tipped the balance. And it's never black and white with this stuff... She's not COMPLETELY off or COMPLETELY on, more likely she's just not into you enough.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Her interest is low, but that's nothing to be worried about. Most girls do not develop high interest right away.

So how do you raise her IL?

Your main tools are push/pull (paying attention to her sometimes, then selectively ignoring her), jealousy (start showing interest in other women around her), and gentle teasing.

DON'T ask her out again. She will "get back to you" when she becomes interested, and only then.

 

[GameTime76]

Thanks for the Constructive advice everyone!

I probably should have just asked for her number or choosen a few better choice of words. Though this is all a part of the "Don Juan" experience. She does maintain good eye contact when we conversate. Before I asked for a date she would smile and wave at me like she was happy to see me. Unless me showing interest in her had a negative effect? EDIT - After getting to know her awhile I asked one time if she lives at home, with a boyfriend or roommates. She only replied with having a roommate. My fellow co-worker told me she used to have a boyfriend but they broke up and was maybe seeing some guy. As far as I know she is single. I do believe she is a busy person with her work schedule and such. But does not excuse her answer. She may be one of those undateable women Anti-Dump talked about which isnt worth my time.

I think my best choice right now is to be cool, act like I dont care but still be friendly to her. Keep myself mysterious and not seem needy. I'll take it as Low Interest for now and move on to the next girl I meet. Who knows, sometimes patience is the key. Will update if necessary.