have a long term relationship. we dated for 2 years, then broke up for 2 years, and recently got back together. Well i noticed the interest level in her dropped during our second time around. I tried to offer her things we can do (like activities), and stuff we can do, but she seems very hesitant. But when other friends offer her to go out, she seems to jump at it. I tried talking to her about stuff, but she seems to get aggravated, and frustrated. she recently broke up with her ex during that 2 years, and i'm not sure if that's the reason. she says she's depressed also. I don't want to ask if that's the reason, because she's not going to admit it if even if it was. i'm trying to work things out because i really love the girl. i don't know how to build her interest level back up. i'm trying to better myself, by working out, and taking classes to offer her more of me in life. i'm not sure what else i can do...any advice appreciated.
Low interest in my LTR
- Thread starter Jamesdl
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NewMan
Master Don Juan
Then you have to ask yourself the question why are you with her?
Oh thats right - you love her right?
Why did you guys break up in the first place? Perhaps she's using you as the rebound guy.
You don't want to be in that situation.
You also don't want to be the only one working at this.
But, to answer your question - why don't you arrange a trip - get away for the weekend - have it all aranged - so you guy can be alone outside of the normal environment. Get her away - but don't make it heavy - make it fun and light. Just enjoy your time with no pressure.
Tell her that you don't think she seems very attracted to you, so you would like to start seeing other women...
Trying to better yourself is good, if you are doing it for the right reasons. To attract women or to be attractive to women are good reasons (there are others). To better yourself just so one girl will give you the time of day is not a good reason. You will always be doubting yourself and your qualifications to her and thinking that another guy will just come along and take her fancy... which is quite likely.
Right now, you are just one rung on the ladder above the hired help. It doesn't seem like she is treating you with much respect.
wanna know something funny. my best friend is happily married for a few years now and the other nite him and his wife and me and my gf went to the movies together. i couldn't believe it, but his wife commented that this would be their second date! 2 years of marriage and this is their second date. this totally made me think about the fact that it's not where you go or what you do as much as who you're with. a successful LTR should be with somebody much like a best friend. somebody you feel comfortable with always and don't sweat the little sh!t. it shouldn't matter whats going on, cuz nomatter what, it's all gunna be fun and exciting.
-J
-J
jakethasnake
Master Don Juan
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double.
jakethasnake
Master Don Juan
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Sorry, but I'm confused. What does the detail about the '2nd date' have to do with your point?
I'm not being a smartass -- that's a real question.^^
i wasnt really commenting on your question directly but pointing out something i noticed in a roundabout way.
see it seems that if you're trying to spice things up by trying new activities and such and it's not working for you, seems that this situation you're in doesn't jive with successful relationships i've seen and it probably won't end up working out.
relationships need work from both people, or so i hear, but i don't think you should have to worry about stuff like that if you were in a relationship that was going to last.
bottom line. outlook not so good for the long haul.
i wasnt really commenting on your question directly but pointing out something i noticed in a roundabout way.
see it seems that if you're trying to spice things up by trying new activities and such and it's not working for you, seems that this situation you're in doesn't jive with successful relationships i've seen and it probably won't end up working out.
relationships need work from both people, or so i hear, but i don't think you should have to worry about stuff like that if you were in a relationship that was going to last.
bottom line. outlook not so good for the long haul.