The girl I was dating is showing signs of low interest. Besides looking for other prospects, what can a guy do? I haven't spoken to her in 5 days. I used to call her every 2 to 3 days. She last said that she was still interested, but her actions don't. She makes it very difficult to hook up now. I will have to see her tomorrow because a friend has a party at the bar she works at (we hang out there). I'm not sure how to act. Does not calling really raise IL?
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Low IL... What to do?
- Thread starter ematsuda
- Start date
Dude this happened to me. A girl i was seeing, her interest level went from hot to cold. TO this day, i have no clue as to what i did wrong. When i ran into her on campus, i acted cordial, however i didn't go out of my way to speak to her.
Circumstances like this are hard to rebound from. I would just chalk it up as a loss and next her.
sorry
Circumstances like this are hard to rebound from. I would just chalk it up as a loss and next her.
sorry
Last edited:
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Cordially acknowledge her presence and a little small talk but don't initiate anything else!
i really admire your honesty... very rarely do i see guys saying a women could conceivably have a low IL in them. sadly, and for the betterment and advancement of the strong, it's best to move on. fixing something broken is harder by far than buying it new in this arena. althought i always strongly advise people move on i will add something for the ones that wish to hang tough.
1. trying to fix the problem, acknoledge the problem, or talk about the possibility of a problem just makes said problem worse.
2. powerful tools in swinging interest level back in your favor (if it is saveable) are:
-getting the interest of other females and being busy and preoccupied.
-strong attention one day. none the next. if a woman is on the defensive and always wondering what you're thinking than she doesn't have time to put you on the defensive.
-be upbeat, happy, aloof, and detached even if it's not how you feel inside. never show her that she's getting to you and ultimatly DON'T let her get to you.
-put her in the friends catagory. then flirt and have a great time with her while she's stuck there wondering wtf is happening.
-improve yourself.
-start being real about what you really want.
-J
1. trying to fix the problem, acknoledge the problem, or talk about the possibility of a problem just makes said problem worse.
2. powerful tools in swinging interest level back in your favor (if it is saveable) are:
-getting the interest of other females and being busy and preoccupied.
-strong attention one day. none the next. if a woman is on the defensive and always wondering what you're thinking than she doesn't have time to put you on the defensive.
-be upbeat, happy, aloof, and detached even if it's not how you feel inside. never show her that she's getting to you and ultimatly DON'T let her get to you.
-put her in the friends catagory. then flirt and have a great time with her while she's stuck there wondering wtf is happening.
-improve yourself.
-start being real about what you really want.
-J
I totally agree with Dekka. You have to act aloof on this one in order to cause her to wonder what the f_ck happened to you. Flip the script on her a_s! Oh, and I think the most important thing a guy can do to peak the interest of any woman is stop paying so much attention to her and give it to other women. Just make sure she can see you doing it or she has friends that see you do it. And, if she calls you up, don't answer. Let the machine get it and don't call her back that day...be unavailable! That makes them wonder about you. Remember, women are emotional people and you have to make them feel, feel, feel to keep them happy. It's one big dramafest for them all the time or they'll get bored and find someone who sparks some emotion in them. Remember this!
Champ
Champ
Great advice guys. It's very difficult to walk away but I think I have to with this one. Her enthusiasm is just not there anymore. I'll be friendly to her tonight and have fun with my friends but that's all. I will continue my "no contact" with her and let it go. I don't feel too good right now.
Tomorrow I will post the outcome.
Tomorrow I will post the outcome.
You should attack this problem by determining what is causing these chicks to lose interest in the first place. Not how to fix it after her IL has dropped. I noticed a few things from your short post that may shed a bit of light.
Is it possible you were smothering this girl? Calling too often? Always available? Not really a challenge for her?
Did you ask her if she was still interested? That's a bad move. Never ask a chick how she feels about you. Actions always speak louder than words. Don't even talk about the relationship or where things are going either. Not knowing creates mystery and that is half the fun. She likes it better this way. Don't deny her the thrill of wondering what is going on.
Sorry man but her IL has dropped below critical level. She doesn't even want to be around you. Don't even go out of your way to acknowledge her this party. I'm serious. Don't even look at her unless she's standing right in front of you. Follow Uniassign's advice. Find some other girls and make them bust out laughing right in front of your girl. Have fun at this party and do not let her actions affect you one bit.
In my opinion her IL dropped due to lack of challenge and too much attention on your part. While getting her IL to rise may be tough its not impossible. Either way, your focus shouldn't be on her alone. Which is the way you should live your life anyway.
Keep us posted.
CHANGED MY HANDLE - APPROPRIATELY
I didn't ask her if she was interested in me, so to speak. She was getting distant on me after we had a relationship talk where she wanted one with me but I said that it was too soon. So, I asked her if she wanted to continue dating or to just be friends. She said she still wanted to date.
Another thing that could be happening is that after I told her that it was too soon to get serious, she may have started seeing her ex again - but I'm not sure.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Acknowledge her presence naturally or else you'll make more out of it then necessary, if you purposely avoid her!