Love...

Polaris_shines

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 24, 2004
Messages
20
Reaction score
0
Age
38
I had a question to ask.What is love actually.U meet a girl pick her up and have a one night sex and leave her.Did u love her?Now if a person could die to get a girl even if she is married or something and gets her by real effort.Is this love or lust.What is love actually.Everyone justifies himself but wat is love actually?
 

Evil-Rom

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 27, 2003
Messages
860
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
,-._|\ ................... ............ / Aus \ ..
Realize that falling in love with someone is just the results of a series of generic events that can occur between you and basically anyone who meets your standards of attractiveness. It's just an emotional manifestation of a handfull of chemicals bouncing back and forth. It's not the holy grail of living, it's not your reason to exist and it's definitely not something reserved for "that one person".

It's just chocolate. Find a new bar.
 

diplomatic_lie

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2004
Messages
537
Reaction score
0
I agree. Love isn't special - we just think it is special. If love was real, why so many divorces? Why do couples who fell in love yesterday break up today?

You should enjoy "love", savour it, and have fun. But always keep in mind that nothing lasts forever. Today she loves you, but tomorrow, she may change her mind. Not even taxes are forever, since you can move to Monaco or commit fraud to avoid paying taxes.
 

diablo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
4,685
Reaction score
8
Location
Louisiana, USA
Originally posted by Polaris_shines
I had a question to ask.What is love actually.
Love Actually is a movie in which Hugh Grant and Emma Thompson star in. You can find more information regarding this at "www.loveactually.com". Hope this helps.













Okay, I need to stop being a smartass.
 

Engetsu

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 3, 2002
Messages
471
Reaction score
0
Age
38
Location
Montreal
Originally posted by diplomatic_lie
You should enjoy "love", savour it, and have fun. But always keep in mind that nothing lasts forever.
It's obvious that the same feeling doesn't last forever, but what most people fail to realize is that it isn't a reason to divorce if you're already married to a great person. This is why the average marriage here lasts 3 years, because of people who have THAT mentality. Pretty deceiving..
 

christz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 26, 2004
Messages
740
Reaction score
0
Love..

Love is like a rocking chair, you can rock in it all day and never get anywhere.
 

Wyldfire

Banned
Joined
Oct 25, 2001
Messages
9,108
Reaction score
28
Originally posted by Polaris_shines
I had a question to ask.What is love actually.U meet a girl pick her up and have a one night sex and leave her.Did u love her?Now if a person could die to get a girl even if she is married or something and gets her by real effort.Is this love or lust.What is love actually.Everyone justifies himself but wat is love actually?
Many people mistake lust or infatuation with love. Real love is something that only comes with time. When you genuinely love someone you accept them as they are...the bad with the good. It never goes away, no matter what happens. If you truly love someone, if they hurt you, your love doesn't just go away. It's something you can only really recognize once you've experienced it. Feeling "in love" isn't real love, either. That's infatuation and having very good feelings about yourself when you're with someone who admires you and pays attention to you.

If you ever find real, true love and the other person has that same kind of love for you...hold onto it for dear life, nurture it and care for it as best you can because it's THE single most amazing thing you'll ever know.
 

Sart

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 14, 2004
Messages
420
Reaction score
0
Age
56
Location
Sydney
wyldfire

Gee mate, I got all misty reading that, almost teared up. You should write female romance novels.

DUDE, Love does not come and go, wyldfire is dead right, BUT, it does change in composition. eg. You love a girl like a sister for years and then ...bang.. one day. Conversely, you love your woman as a lover and then one day...bang.. she is like a friend.

I have never actually fallen out of love, but the attitude/feeling of that love has changed in nature. I will ALWAYS love my children for example.

Problem is, as someone mentioned earlier, what they dont tell you is that you can literally love several people. It isn't that exceptional or rare, just stupid fuc#ing American movies and sitcoms make it out to be. Some old fart saying he has been with his wife for 40 years and their love gets stronger every day? Give me a barf bag...what a crock. What an absolute crock!

Worst thing dude, when you hit mid 30's and 40's, you can actually physically peak, but your wife probably wont physically peak, especially if she has had kids.

Guess what? Men are probably at their best from mid 30's to mid 50's in every way....IF...they have taken care of themselves. You might note that the older guys in this forum don't ask the really stupid/dumb questions as much.

If I had my time over I would never have married. To stand their and say that in 50 years time I will still be the same person and still feel the same about this chick is MADNESS! It is such crap, rediculous crap, pathetic dreams aimed at making you accountable financially to your offspring.
 

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
2,083
Reaction score
4
Location
UK
drugs give off a chemicle in your body, and once you are used to it, if you stop taking the drugs there is a chemicle inbalance in your body, you need more of it so you feel you need the drug.

love works simular, you like the person so when you see her your body releases some chemicle of hormone in to your blood sytem and if you stop seing her you get a chemicle inbalance so you feel you need to see her.

lol just kidding, i mean this could be true but i doubt it, you do nto get physical adictions to people like you do on hardcore drugs, because even softcore drugs is only a mental addiction and im sure this is the same...you think you need her.
 

Wyldfire

Banned
Joined
Oct 25, 2001
Messages
9,108
Reaction score
28
Sart, not only would I never write those corny romance novels...I wouldn't ever read the garbage, either.

I'm not a "Dude", either, although I do tend to think like one.

I'm not speaking of the kind of love you have for your children or family. The love I spoke of is different than that.
 

Life-Trainee

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 29, 2004
Messages
795
Reaction score
0
Location
Boston, MA
Do you know why marriages fail??? People have wrong ideas about marriage. Mariage is a union between two people who have agreed to raise a family and/or form a stable financial state. It's NOT about love. Marriages based solely on love fail miserably. Marriage requires discipline and mental maturity as well as compatible personalities of both parties.
 

AFK Protector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2004
Messages
1,617
Reaction score
4
Location
United States of America
L....is for the way you look at me.

O....is for the only one I see.

V....is very very.....EXTRA ordinary

E....is even more for any one that you adore.

and...LOVE! Is all that I can give to you.

LOVE! Is more than just a game for two.

Two in love can make it.

Take my heart and please don't break it.

Love...was made for me and you.
__________________________

I haven't really experienced love except from maybe my parents and grandparents...that's about it. I'm too young to know what it is, but for now I guess it's a fuzzy feeling that never goes away.
 

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
2,083
Reaction score
4
Location
UK
Originally posted by AFK Protector
L....is for the way you look at me.

O....is for the only one I see.

V....is very very.....EXTRA ordinary

E....is even more for any one that you adore.

and...LOVE! Is all that I can give to you.

LOVE! Is more than just a game for two.

Two in love can make it.

Take my heart and please don't break it.

Love...was made for me and you.
dude you missed the last line of your little poem

Love...was made for me and you.

Love...was made for AFC
 

Wyldfire

Banned
Joined
Oct 25, 2001
Messages
9,108
Reaction score
28
Originally posted by Life-Trainee
Do you know why marriages fail??? People have wrong ideas about marriage. Mariage is a union between two people who have agreed to raise a family and/or form a stable financial state. It's NOT about love. Marriages based solely on love fail miserably. Marriage requires discipline and mental maturity as well as compatible personalities of both parties.
Marriages only work if:


1) The relationship is based on genuine friendship...meaning...both parties relate to each other not just as lovers, but also as friends.

2) Chemistry and attraction...both people must retain these feelings toward the other

3) Mutual respect

4) A willingness to compromise

5) A commitment to work through any issues and problems that may and will arise from time to time.

6) A decent amount of compatability (two people whose habits drive each other nuts don't usually fare well)
 

DJDamage

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2004
Messages
5,661
Reaction score
103
Location
Canada
damn Sart, this is some really harsh reality stuff.I have to agree with you that when it comes to attraction, there is no way love gets stronger everyday since attraction does not work that way. As well Human beings are not design to be Mongomous creatures, our culture and religion influnce that deicison.

As well some people are trying to say that there is a difference between love and sex. Love is the definition of western culture where chemicals in the body telling us that we are ready to mate with another human being. I get sick how the media and women in partically telling me all the time about how love is the key to life and how its so special. But none of them will equte love to the actual act of mating as if those two are unrealated.

From a psychology book I took at University written by Wayne Weiten he writes that people relate Love and Marriage to a strong Predictors of Happiness. In the book its written:

"LOVE AND MARRIAGE - Romantic Relationships can be stressful, but people consistently rate being in love as one of te most critical ingredients of happiness. Furthermore, although people complain a lot about their marriages, the evidance indicates that marital statues is the key correlate of happiness. Among both men and women, married people are happier than people who are single or divorced. HOWEVER, the casual relations underlying this correlation are UNCLEAR. It may be that happiness causes martial satisfaction more than martial satisfaction promotes happiness.

Prehaps people who are happy tend to have better intimate relationships and more stable marriages, while people who are unhappy have more difficulty finding and keeping mates"
 

Wyldfire

Banned
Joined
Oct 25, 2001
Messages
9,108
Reaction score
28
As well some people are trying to say that there is a difference between love and sex. Love is the definition of western culture where chemicals in the body telling us that we are ready to mate with another human being. I get sick how the media and women in partically telling me all the time about how love is the key to life and how its so special. But none of them will equte love to the actual act of mating as if those two are unrealated.
There IS a difference between love and sex. There are different kinds of love. People love their children, siblings and parents, but they certainly don't want to have sex with them...and if they do, they are sick puppies.

I have a post in the DJ Bible called "The Natural Progression of a Relationship" which describes how a person reaches Mature Romantic Love. It's very true that when you reach that level of love that you can and often do love the person more as time passes. That's totally separate from attraction and sexual desire. Ideally, the attraction will remain in tact, although sometimes it doesn't. Sexual Chemistry is a strange monster, indeed. Without it, you can never get to the stage of Mature Love, but alone, that Chemistry can't and won't lead to a mature, long lasting love.

Now, the key to life is SELF love, not love for others. Having a love like I have described certainly is a wonderful enhancement, though. Too many people seek out fulfillment from others in this life. That is a mistake. Instead, you need to build your life as you want it to be and view any partner as a complement to an already complete person rather than looking to someone else to "complete" you.
 

Polaris_shines

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 24, 2004
Messages
20
Reaction score
0
Age
38
Simple

hey you two have started a sort of fight.Love is anything one feels thats strong enuff to be more than just affection.Thats how simple it is I think.
 

Dukester

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 24, 2004
Messages
539
Reaction score
0
Age
39
Location
Dayton, Ohio
Anytime someone mentions the world love- this sorta thing happens. So many people have different views on love. None of these people are wrong about love- it's just based on what they've experienced.

I've only ever really loved 2 people in my entire life (not counting family). The 1st one didnt love me back- but I honest to God was in love w/ her.
The 2nd loves me more than n e thing in the world, and I love her back.
The thing w/ us is though, that we will never get together for certain reasons- but she accepts the way I am w/ all my faults, and shortcomings, and vise versa.

So IMO, love is something nobody can really talk about, because you cant really describe it. Love is so great, so perfect, so ornate, so detailed, that it cannot be put into words.
You can love more than one person (ie. you could be married for 20 yrs, and have the same love for you wife that you do for you best girl friend other than her, and thats not cheating).
the thing about love is that it's expandable. you can have love for millions of people, your family, your kids, you sister, your friends, your girlfriend.
The type of love that most people think of is b/f-g/f love, and marriage love. To me that is the strongest type of love. With that type of love comes self-sacraficial acts for your loved one. (ie. you are willing to die for your wife).
You cant explain why you're in love, and how- you just know. it's something inside you that fills you up w/ so much joy that you cant comprehend it- you have no grip on your feelings.
Infatuation is just extreme physical attractions, and overlooks or denies flaws in the subject. Love is something that lasts forever, accepts flaws, lives with them, and does not die.
I believe my great uncle was in love w/ his wife so much, b/c when she died (i was there in hospice w/ them), he said "My heart died w/ her. I have no more reason to live."
To me that is an extreme type of love, it's not that he was dependent on her to live, it's that he cared about her so much that he didnt want to be w/out her, and he couldnt see himself dying alone w/ out her. To me- that is love. and it's something i want to experience in my life sometime. Some times we have to get our hearts broken to realize what love is, and how much we love someone.
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,627
Reaction score
178
Age
45
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
LOVE is a funny concept in this day and age.

The Greeks believed in several kinds of "love" and had a word for each. EROS was the Greek word for erotic love, which should be pretty obvious in meaning...it's the physical, sexual love between a man and a woman (or in some cases...well...let's skip that sh!t). PHILIOS is the love between friends, where you enjoy things together, support each other, have meaningful conversation, enjoy spending time together, doing things together, etc. STORGE is familial love, the kind of love that families have where they pull together and support each other, give of themselves to support each other in their endeavors, enjoy being together even when they don't get along, and kind of have a life together in addition to their own apart. And AGAPE is what people like to call "God's love". It's sefless, altruistic, unconditional, and often involves sacrifice.

Strangely enough, what we call "LOVE" in today's society really doesn't fit into ANY of those categories.The kind of love where two people NEED to be together, where they require each other's presence to feel validated. Where they become each other's standard for everything and everything is evaluated next to them. The kind of daydream-love that kids feel when they sit at their desk and sigh because the girl in front of them doesn't know they exist. The kind of love in the movies where they break up and come crawling back to each other in the rain crying, "I can't LIVE without you!!"

Why? Because what people think of as "LOVE" isn't really love at all. It's a kind of sick desperation. An addiction caused by a deficiency of spirit and lack of self-affirmation. LOVE, as society thinks of it, is for the weak. If you want to enjoy REAL love, you have to get over "LOVE" as it's sold to you from the media and the people around you.

Love isn't about bullsh!t games. It's not about needs. It's not about affirmation or symbiosis. And for God's sake, it's not about COMPROMISE.

That's always one of my pet peeves...people talk about COMPROMISE in love. Love, REAL love isn't about compromise. It's about SACRIFICE. It's not about equity and fairness, it's about giving up one desire to achieve another desire: enjoying the happiness of the people around you. This is something that people do EVERY DAY with EVERY DECISION. If you are "compromising" in a relationship, giving up things that you would rather have just for the sake of making the relationship work and making someone like you, and REGRETTING those sacrifices, then that is NOT LOVE.

People are so desperate to find the great mystical magic that is "LOVE" that they miss all the love that's right under their noses...the magic that exists inside THEM. The day-to-day experiences that they could be enjoying or the time they could be investing in people to create and enjoy the kind of love they look for. All because they're so busy trying to find someone who will HAND love to them on a silver platter. So many people who just don't get it, trying to FIND love. "OMG I FOUND love." Found it, like it was lying around waiting to be found or someone who was walking around with love looking for someone to hand it off to. FINDING love is a crock of sh!t. Love isn't found. It's made.

These are the same people who save up all their money hoping to be rich, not having a clue that you have to SPEND money to MAKE money...and not even spending enough to enjoy the benefits of HAVING money.

So stop talking about LOVE like it's some holy grail and you're some kind of crusader. Get over yourself, wake up, and realize that real love IS "magical", but the magic is something YOU have to CREATE, not FIND, and it's something that's so subtle that if you look for it, you won't see it.

As the woman said,

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Now, the key to life is SELF love, not love for others. Having a love like I have described certainly is a wonderful enhancement, though. Too many people seek out fulfillment from others in this life. That is a mistake. Instead, you need to build your life as you want it to be and view any partner as a complement to an already complete person rather than looking to someone else to "complete" you.
 
Last edited:

Wyldfire

Banned
Joined
Oct 25, 2001
Messages
9,108
Reaction score
28
"Compromise" is just a short way to describe two people making sacrifices. When I listed compromise as being an essential part of making a marriage work it is because the sacrifices MUST be mutual. If there is only one person making all the sacrifices it causes problems. Even if love is there, the one making all the sacrifices will find it a very difficult situation to live in.
 
Top