Love is extremely powerful

[frivolousz21]

http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/love_love_me_do

there is some golden stuff in there.

For a min put aside your so suave ego's.


I realize that when we feel those emotions many of us equate that with being AFC.

However those emotions are the key on both sides to something that is worth it.

anyways the reason I am posting this is for all the guys who have been dating a women for 1 month or more....if your sig. other isn't "head over heals for you" then you better take a good look at whats going on..an be objective.

I can assure anyone who thinks this is bogus...Ive had 4 women in my dating history that have shown this..and all 4 were in love..and it took massive overhaul from both sides or especially my side to break that connection.


I am not trying to make this sound like a sappy ass post...but if you've been dating a women for a few months and both of you are not going threw that...your missing out.

 

[Po-Coordinator]

Hey man...I respect what you are saying here, but I don't believe that anyone can really tell the masses how to have a successful loving r/ship. Each r/ship is different and I think different things work for different couples.

 

[STR8UP]

Dude, take this however you choose, but you're a hopeless romantic.

All I had to see was the "fear of intimacy" link in there to know that I didn't want to read the article.

 

[frivolousz21]

Dude, take this however you choose, but you're a hopeless romantic.

All I had to see was the "fear of intimacy" link in there to know that I didn't want to read the article.

I would expect nothing else coming from you.

 

[decades]

falling in "love" within a month or two? I can't think of any Worse disaster in the making. KNOW the person before going all goo goo eyes on them. You don't know anyone after only a few months of two people being on their best behavior and HIDING all the bad stuff from each other. I am quite certain that Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon were head over heels in LOVE when they made the calamitous decision to make it official.

 

[STR8UP]

Dude, stuff like this is "by women, for women" or "by womanly man, for women". If you can't see that i don't know what else to tell you, other than you are probably doomed to learn some tough lessons down the road.

I'm just sayin'....

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

FRIV, here, it opens today,...

http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/madeofhonor/

 

[guru1000]

Friv,

You had me at HELLO.

 

[frivolousz21]

delete, there is no point

 

[KontrollerX]

The power of love is a curious thing
make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
more than a feeling, that's the power of love

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream
make a bad one good make a wrong one right
power of love that keeps you home at night

You don't need money, don't take fame
Don't need a credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes
but it might just save your life
That's the power of love
That's the power of love

First time you feel it, it might make you sad
Next time you feel it it might make you mad
But you'll be glad baby when you've found
that's the power makes the world go'round

And it don't take money, don't take fame
don't need a credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden it can be cruel sometimes
but it might just save your life

They say that all in love is fair
yeah, but you don't care
But you know what to do
when it gets hold of you
and with a little help from above
you feel the power of love
you feel the power of love
Can you feel it ?
Hmmm

It don't take money and it don't take fame
don't need a credit card to ride this train
Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel
you won't feel nothin' till you feel
you feel the power, just FEEL the power of love
That's the power, that's the power of love
You feel the power of love
you feel the power of love
feel the power of love

 

[Bible_Belt]

if your sig. other isn't "head over heals for you" then you better take a good look at whats going on..an be objective.

I agree. Love is a very powerful thing. You have power over women when they fall for you, and you keep that power by not falling in love with them, or at least holding out for as long as possible.

 

[Phyzzle]

the same guys I see here will date for a year, get there heart broke, then come back here crying that women are terrible.

Hmm, yeah I can think of a particular example of a guy who got messed over by a woman who was "in love" with him.

WTF Friv, you're supposed to be a cynical pr!ck like the rest of us now!! You of all people should know, than any amount of "3rd stage emotional attachment love" is not going to prevent someone from, say, fabricating abuse charges for custody and child support payments.

Now I wouldn't trash this article for mentioning fear of intimacy alone, but it's really an example of how poor pop-media advice is compared to the stuff here.

1. Focus on the things you can control: your attitude, your behavior, your words, and your energy. If you want something to change in any stage of relationship, make it your own traits or actions – not your partner's.
2. Learn healthy ways to express your disappointment, anger, or frustration. Be honest and authentic, and kind and loving in all stages of relationships.
3. Remember the first stage of love! Recall your feelings of lust, attraction, and desire for your partner. Think about the traits that you were attracted to, and let those old feelings come to life again.
4. Appreciate your partner's good qualities; be grateful for the life you share. Gratitude can enhance all stages of relationships.
5. Focus on emotional intimacy in all three stages of love. Be vulnerable to have a healthy love life.
6. Own your feelings. Your partner can't "make" you feel stupid or worthless. If you feel unfulfilled or sad about your life, look at your own dreams and goals. Are you pursuing the life you were meant to live? Are you following your heart? Develop your personality, mind, and spirit. Figure out what will make you happy in this stage of love, and start creating the life you were meant to live.
7. Consider counseling in any stage of love. If you've lost that loving feeling, it could be an individual thing that you need to deal with or a couples' issue that you should tackle together. An objective point of view, from a therapist, pastor, or friend you trust, is incredibly helpful in all stages of relationships.

Actually, breaking the routine every few months, and keeping in decent physical shape throughout middle age is a higher priority than perhaps any of these.

Basically, this article implies that when you get to stage 3, you are "done", and that divorce is the result of never getting there. But of course, real divorces generally happen after being in stage 3 for a couple of years, then getting bored or frustrated.

 

[iqqi]

Falling in love is scary and powerful, and can have disastrous results.

I wish everyone that calamity at least once in their lives, preferably more. It is a reason to be alive.

It is especially exhilirating and painful when it is with someone who is all wrong for you.

 

[Interceptor]

LOL
Yes, God forbid we be like...loved or something.
We wouldn't want THAT now , would we??
What a fate...so horrible....

 

[iqqi]

delete, there is no point

I will tell you like I told the young lad Silver Sonnet.

Stand by what you say.

Don't go wimpering in the corner when the sosuave bandwagon tries to roll you over. If they are your words and your thoughts, stand up for them. You already knew you were going to get kidded, on a board full of pessimists and lovelorn "gurus". Gosh darnit, if I can do it, so can you.

On another note, I especially enjoyed KX's poem. Sigh.

 

[STR8UP]

We're just messing with ya man.

But seriously...that is some Orahesque malarkey if I ever heard it.

When someone (a woman) uses the words "fear of intimacy" or "commitment-phobic" it automatically tells you who you are dealing with. And don't get me wrong....most women LOVE those words, but they are nothing more than ammunition, a shaming tactic to get men to comply with their agenda, (as Rollo would say in much more technical terms).

Hmmm....maybe I should start a thread about this, cause it's interesting stuff. Any bets on how long it will take iqqi to get it closed?

 

[iqqi]

Hmmm....maybe I should start a thread about this, cause it's interesting stuff. Any bets on how long it will take iqqi to get it closed?

Please keep my name out of your mouth, thanks.

 

[wjh]

When someone (a woman) uses the words "fear of intimacy" or "commitment-phobic" it automatically tells you who you are dealing with. And don't get me wrong....most women LOVE those words, but they are nothing more than ammunition, a shaming tactic to get men to comply with their agenda, (as Rollo would say in much more technical terms).

Exactly. "Fear of intimacy" is how women communicate a man's unwillingness to go AFC over them.

 

[KontrollerX]

"On another note, I especially enjoyed KX's poem. Sigh."

Lighten up iqqster.

That wasn't a poem girly that was a great song by Huey Lewis about the power of love oh yeah!

 

[Mr. Me]

Ive had 4 women in my dating history that have shown this..and all 4 were in love

The article has some stuff in it, but it's fairly out of whack: for example, how could physical attraction be the stage AFTER lust? They're suggesting that you can lust for someone you don't find physically attractive?

Lust/ infatuation can hit hard at first, and it's all a chemical reaction still not fully understood by scientists.

Lots of folks mistake lust/ infatuation for being "love". It can LEAD to love, but it's not true love.

Infatuation can not maintained endlessly. That "honeymoon" phase typically lasts from a few months to a few years but it has to either go to the next deeper stage and transmute to real love or go nowhere at all and die out or, the last alternative, keep one person in love but not the other, which leads to a rocky relationship.

In time, the brain gets used to the euphoric effects of the PEA chemicals. It requires intense sacrifice to not be able to sleep, eat, work, etc., without day dreaming about the person obsessed in our thoughts. It's draining to feed their ego continuously. This is the sort of stuff infatuation makes you go through. You can't keep it up forever.

Nature intends for this phase to last just long enough for us to bond and make babies. If these chemicals didn't exist and do their work, we'd never get together and stay together long enough as a species.

So, let's say that you started dating maybe around 16, and in 8 years or so, you've had 4 gals, also around your age, claim to love you within a month or so.

That, my friend, is more likely infatuation then it was real love.

True love takes longer to develop and it's more than just physical attraction. You can't really love someone you don't really know. Time is needed to discover another person. We're complex critters.

Hopeless romantics don't believe these facts, their idea of love is more of an ideal then it is reality. That's why they're termed as "hopeless". Reality can never be as good as fantasy, and so, they think something's wrong with their relationships when things don't go according to their ideal, or the honeymoon feelings subside. But that's another topic.

Where are these four women today? Obviously, things didn't work out. If that was 8 years worth of real love over four women, I'd say true love is very short-lived and thus, really sucks. But as for infatuation... that's typical.