Lost my first love

[Aesthetic Indian]

Really need some feedback or support from any of the experienced Bros, I just got out of a 14th month relationship with my first love ( 20f) and I'm 21. I just didn't date before her because I really wanted someone special, I'm old school that way. Since it was my first relationship and her first real and longest one, we were super attached, then I noticed her being different and asked her what's wrong, she denied it but I pushed, then she said she feels things just aren't the same and we're very different people who want different things and she's just not happy anymore, I didn't fight one bit or try to convince her because I want someone who's as into me at the end of the day, met her and spoke to her for 3 hours, we both cried, she cried much more and said things like it's a huge risk she's taking and might regret it but she has to make this decision, I'm just so devastated, I really envisioned a future with her, she's my first everything and I have a semester of college left and she's in my class, we literally spent every moment together, hardly with anyone else, I just don't know how to carry on Bros, I keep talking all the blame, all the times I ****ed up because of immaturity and made her cry, I miss how she was so in love with me and that has changed, any feedback is very much appreciated.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Really need some feedback or support from any of the experienced Bros, I just got out of a 14th month relationship with my first love ( 20f) and I'm 21. I just didn't date before her because I really wanted someone special, I'm old school that way. Since it was my first relationship and her first real and longest one, we were super attached, then I noticed her being different and asked her what's wrong, she denied it but I pushed, then she said she feels things just aren't the same and we're very different people who want different things and she's just not happy anymore, I didn't fight one bit or try to convince her because I want someone who's as into me at the end of the day, met her and spoke to her for 3 hours, we both cried, she cried much more and said things like it's a huge risk she's taking and might regret it but she has to make this decision, I'm just so devastated, I really envisioned a future with her, she's my first everything and I have a semester of college left and she's in my class, we literally spent every moment together, hardly with anyone else, I just don't know how to carry on Bros, I keep talking all the blame, all the times I ****ed up because of immaturity and made her cry, I miss how she was so in love with me and that has changed, any feedback is very much appreciated.

You are young and there’s so much you need to learn about women and relationships. It sounds like you’re suffering from oneitis (she’s the one, my soul mate). We have all been there. Try to understand that there is no “one”. Below is a link to the best of thr first year of The Rational male blog. If you want to learn about women and intersexual dynamics, it’s a get place to start. Do yourself a favor and read every link.

https://therationalmale.com/the-best-of-rational-male-year-one/

-Augustus-

 

[djdfuser]

I just don't know how to carry on Bros

You can't see it right now but you'll get over it when the next good one comes along. Work on your own sh!t in the meantime.

 

[princelydeeds]

She did you a favor...
First... go clean your room, Get yourself together, better your yourself, stop obssesing over one chick and move on with your life. This too shall pass, life will move on. There are 3,000,000,000+ other women in the world move on...

 

[In2theGame]

lol man it's incredible all of the information on here and how true it is because I remember when I was much younger and going through things with Women made me feel like total sh*t at that present time but 100% for sure, things will get much much better for you. Man I can't believe I'v been part of SS for 14 years, Wow. How time flies.

 

[kbbroiler1971]

Okay A.I Let me give you the benefit of my experience as I am 47 and I know there is probably nothing most worst to what you are feeling right now. I'm not going to beat you up. I was in your shoes when I was 21. My girlfriend broke up with me as well and almost the same script as yours but my story is a little different. You have to ask yourself one question am I really in love or was I really in love? I can tell you this as I thought I was in love back then but in reality I really wasn't in love. The fact with me was I had no game and I lost the only piece of ass I was banging on a regular basis. It sounds like you have oneitis as I did have it as well. You have to look at yourself and figure out am I sad because I really love the chick or am I using that as an excuse because I lack game and I have to have a girlfriend to have sex with. Those are the two things you have to ask yourself.

 

[Aesthetic Indian]

I'm a bit better since day 1, appetite is slowly coming back and ****, to be honest I think I was more in love with who I wanted her to be, I was much more affectionate than she was, that's just how she is, like uncomfortable with pda and **** whilst I'd always want to touch her or something just because physical affection is my way of showing love, idk guys my friend told a few female friends that he's with me coz I'm going through a break up and the chick said tell him there are plenty of fish in the sea, including me, but this **** Doesn't excite me, I'm so weird. I really wanted only to have kissed this one girl, loved this one girl and eat this one girl out lol, do you guys think it's better we've broken up now rather than later so I didn't get more attached? Because subconsciously, I knew after college we would break up because we'd be working, less time to see each other and eventually she was gonna go to the UK for her master's, I'm just all in my feels right now hahah

 

[Spaz]

You'll be fine. I'm certain of it.

Go the NC thread and rant there. Good place for you to be when alone.

Try as much as possible to mingle with friends and have some adventurers clean fun.

 

[kbbroiler1971]

Well I'm surprised honestly both of you didn't break up sooner since you were in College together as women have a tendency to want to party in those years and so forth. Yes that does mean meet other guys. One thing you have to remember for your next experience with women. This isn't a shot against you but just how women and men are. Women tend to get bored quick in relationships and men don't tend to get bored as quick. So if she knew everything about you and so forth it's another reason why she wanted to break up. I know it's a hard pill to swallow but you have to use this for your next dating or relationship experience. Women get bored quicker. This is why you never tell a woman too much about yourself. Women are drama and mystique driven creatures and this is how attraction is sparked. So my advice is remember this for next time when you are ready to go out and meet women again.

 

[Aesthetic Indian]

Well I'm surprised honestly both of you didn't break up sooner since you were in College together as women have a tendency to want to party in those years and so forth. Yes that does mean meet other guys. One thing you have to remember for your next experience with women. This isn't a shot against you but just how women and men are. Women tend to get bored quick in relationships and men don't tend to get bored as quick. So if she knew everything about you and so forth it's another reason why she wanted to break up. I know it's a hard pill to swallow but you have to use this for your next dating or relationship experience. Women get bored quicker. This is why you never tell a woman too much about yourself. Women are drama and mystique driven creatures and this is how attraction is sparked. So my advice is remember this for next time when you are ready to go out and meet women again.

Pointing out to your partying question, we live at our own houses and not at uni because it's just 30 minutes away, she has super strict parents and is generally a nice girl, all she did was go to college, hang with me, go to the gym, that's it. This restrictions thing also used to piss me off, imagine being in college and we couldn't go take trips and spend nights together because of her parents, I guess this just shows how much I loved her as I started being okay with her restrictions over the year we dated

 

[Aesthetic Indian]

Okay A.I Let me give you the benefit of my experience as I am 47 and I know there is probably nothing most worst to what you are feeling right now. I'm not going to beat you up. I was in your shoes when I was 21. My girlfriend broke up with me as well and almost the same script as yours but my story is a little different. You have to ask yourself one question am I really in love or was I really in love? I can tell you this as I thought I was in love back then but in reality I really wasn't in love. The fact with me was I had no game and I lost the only piece of ass I was banging on a regular basis. It sounds like you have oneitis as I did have it as well. You have to look at yourself and figure out am I sad because I really love the chick or am I using that as an excuse because I lack game and I have to have a girlfriend to have sex with. Those are the two things you have to ask yourself.

Um I definitely agree I have oneitis or whatever that is called, I don't lack game, throughout my relationship I had to tell other girls in a subtle way that I have a girlfriend as I could see where they were taking the conversation, then they'd change how they spoke to me, I genuinely was in love my man, but, If I think rationally for a second I was more in love with what I wanted her to be, she had a libido much lower than mine, she's fine with having sex every other week, which is quite low everyone knows, she wasn't as expressive in showing affection like I was, so it wasn't ideal, definitely not, but she made me really really happy and I knew things weren't the same, after 10 months, there was a huge power dynamic chang, we went through a 6 hour breakup because of a mistake I made, she blatantly told me she doesn't love me as much as she once did, but that can change, but at the end guys, it doesn't change once it's gone, does it?

 

[Spaz]

Are you living in India?

 

[Aesthetic Indian]

Y

Are you living in India?

Yup, it's ****ed mate LMAO

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Y

Yup, it's ****ed mate LMAO

Why aren’t you just doing the arranged marriage deal?

-Augustus-

 

[Aesthetic Indian]

Hahahha no man I'm in those 20 percent of Indian families who are chill and not backward, I'd have my girl over and we'd **** while everyone was home and it was chill, there's no way I'll do an arranged marriage, and definitely won't marry till I'm 28 at Least ( 21) right now

 

[Spaz]

Y

Yup, it's ****ed mate LMAO

Ahhh I get it now.

Different game ball there. It's like every dude is a lover boy hero, even ur ACTION movies are chocked full of love.

Only place I know that's pretty open is in Delhi, nightclubs there can be wild.

 

[kbbroiler1971]

Okay if you are living in India that might be true about her not going out because her parents are strict. All I know is about the western women, strict home go out and party. That's how it is here in the west and things have gotten worse of the years with young women. Going out to partying was the problem when I was growing up. Now it's sex, drugs, gangbangs and all sorts of questionable beehaviour. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. My advice is meet other women and I mean women not one woman.