Lost great girl due to insecurities

[Soyoushave]

Hi! Long time since my last post...I read my old post first and I have both changed and stayed the same

Long story short: long term gf cheated on me and broke up. I end up dating loads of girls (great self confidence boost) and find out dating is easy and fun.
Then I meet this girl and we have this great click. First 2 months go great, then insecurity kicks in (guess I should've worked on that, but didn't know it existed). Basically asking for confirmation every other day, asking certain favours etc etc. AFC af. She is closing up more and more due to this, which makes me even more insecure. She is searching (backwards rationalization) why she is closing up, gives me explanations etc.
Then she goes away for a couple of days, comes back and calls me telling me the whole its not you its me story, how she's still in love and how she has issues that she needs to work on.

Naturally I go AFC; I call her the next day trying to persuade her rationally (she even says: you're only pushing yourself away from me, don't please).
Then I let it cool off for a week, ask her to meet and she says it's too soon (still feelings and not smart to meet so soon), to which I reply that's the point, I don't want those feelings to just stop. We end up texting over this...she tells me how she wants a couple of weeks of NC to get her mind cleared up (not to give false hope but for better communication). So I keep pushing, she says: Ok, let me make it as clear as I can: just let it go, I don't want this.
I tell her I think she's over reacting and we would've been able to make it, and I end with lets talk in a month, to which she agrees.

So:
-Do I still contact her (and how; in essence there wasn't anything wrong, I just went really insecure and I see that now)
-I know she did nothing wrong, I was just insecure as fvck (got myself a psych to help me with that, and it works great 8 weeks of therapy))

Ideas? Comments?

 

[sylvester the cat]

No. You do not contact her. You let her go. Or more to the point, you let your fear of being alone go.

 

[Soyoushave]

I don't fear being alone, like I said, it's easy to date (have had some dates with a new girl already, she's all over me, even asked about us being in a relationship...she's just nice to keep around to keep my mind off of things).
It's a combination of: Feelings for this particular girl and hate how it went the way it went because of something I could've prevented if only I knew (breakups due to preventable sh!t is ...well, sh!t)

 

[sylvester the cat]

Ok. Well you don't contact her.

 

[Soyoushave]

So I guess I should just let her go?
I screwed up and therefore ain't ever gonna happen anymore?

 

[Between_The_Lines]

So I keep pushing, she says: Ok, let me make it as clear as I can: just let it go, I don't want this.

You pushed her to the point that she removed the w0manese filter and flat out told you in the most straightforward way that she wants nothing more to do with you - nothing.

Do you still contact her? No, never again.

Should you let her go? Yes. Any further attempts at trying to get her back will only drive up her repulsion (with you) and your oneitis over her. She's moved on (or actively trying to do so), so you should do the same.

 

[Giantsfan88]

She's moved on (or actively trying to do so), so you should do the same.

In other words, you lose. Moving on means you've lost. Now go and find a girl to be your silver medal!

 

[sylvester the cat]

It has nothing to do with winning or losing. It is about self preservation.

 

[Leaf]

Some things in life are a painful mistake. The only thing you can do is remember the error in your ways and when you find yourself in such a same situation, be sure to not make the same mistake again.

 

[Giantsfan88]

Some things in life are a painful mistake. The only thing you can do is remember the error in your ways and when you find yourself in such a same situation, be sure to not make the same mistake again.

And when you find someone else, tell yourself she's better for you. Deep down, you know she will always be your second choice

 

[RangerMIke]

When you walk away you free yourself to find someone better.

 

[Soyoushave]

Ahh Sosuave, after all these years the kind people here still know just how to lift your spirits

 

[Rainman4707]

It's not easy to hear this, but..she wants nothing to do with you. Let it go.

Good luck finding a girl in the future

 

[El Payaso]

In the future, when a woman hints that she wants to break up with you or flat out breaks up with you, you employ the agree and amplify tactic. Basically, you agree with her and say that "You're right. I agree. This just isn't working out." and simply walk away.

Women are highly unsure creatures and constantly doubt themselves. She will start to wonder if she made the right choice. Her hamster will go into overdrive and she will eventually seek you out.

If and when she does, you don't make it easy for her by handing yourself on a silver platter to her. Take a much longer time to respond to her. Be cold and unaffectionate etc.

By targeting this aspect of their personality, you can get them to do something that you actually want by simply agreeing and amplifying.

 

[MattR1984]

Let me tell you this. Personal experience recently my friend. If she's acting like this, you give her what she wants and you go total no contact. No text, no calls. NOTHING, she's unsure. She doesn't know what she wants and if you walk away and go no contact (NOT ON BAD TERMS) just say you agree and maybe it's not a bad thing that you don't talk or see each other for a while.

IF you stick to this, you may in fact get her back down the road, a month, two months, whatever. You may NOT. It's a crapshoot, but what IS true is if you keep contacting her you WILL NOT get her back interested and it will make things worse. Trust me. Give it a month man, or maybe two and I can almost guarantee you if you do that and text her about meeting up for a drink, and keep the text short and sweet she will be happy to hear from you and see you and then you be the guy she feel in love with when you meet up.

Don't bring up the past, or relationship talk. NOTHING. Don't over stay your visit, leave HER WANTING MORE. Trust me. As I have feel victim of this very recently. I had a game plan, if I didn't get totally fvcking wasted I would of had my EX eating out of the palm of my hand. VERIFIED, BUT I screwed up and broke my game plan. You won't do that, because you have read my post and are going to learn from my mistakes my friend. Good luck to you. And remember, follow the plan I have laid out.