Loss of emotions/feelings

[Riegs]

I got to thinking how nowadays, nothing impacts me emotionally. Music, thinking about women, nothing really makes me "feel" anymore. If anything, my analytical and practical side (based on my past experiences) blots everything out and robs me of any possible joy. In one way, it's good because before I got to this point, I was always too sensitive a person and incredibly AFC. But now I find myself ultimately unsatisfied in life. I'm too far on the opposite end of the spectrum. My life was honestly better when I was ignorant of the things I've learned about women, social dynamics, becoming a man etc.

I'm trying to decipher whether or not this is some sort of low-grade depression I've had for years, a part of growing up and becoming a realist, or just a radical shift in my mindset to where I'm no longer enamored or excited by much. In the past several years I've had to confront a lot of false ideals I was living under into early adulthood. I was ignorant.. ignorant of the fact that friendships are temporary, that people are ultimately self-serving, and that the concept of true love between a woman and a man I always had wanted to experience for myself was a pipe dream. I was honestly never "loved", I was the one doing the loving. When I got affection, it always came with a price.. it was a business deal, and little more.

I put women on a pedestal in my teens and early 20's and was always ultimately disappointed by almost all of them, or at least their lack of integrity which lead to the breakups. I know my AFC-ish ways were always partly to blame, but it was very sobering to realize that most women operate only on interest level, convenience, what they can potentially gain from you ($$) or your status. Being a good and godly man ranks very low on the scale of traits women desire from a man, unless the chick is ugly or fat and knows she can't do much better just because you're better looking than her.

Emotions and feelings are something I can't separate from my former AFC mindset, because it was only when I was a total AFC that I "felt" anything. One one hand, I miss the range of feelings I used to get.. from playing guitar, or the excitement from a girl calling, etc. but I find that I'm much more unhappy now than I was before. I went from being an optimist, to a pessimist, from being open to women and new experiences.. to now making a mental checklist whenever I interact with a girl, being guarded 24/7 and trying to look for a reason not to get emotionally invested with any member of the opposite sex. I find this also translates over to men my age who, I'm frankly disgusted by.. either the bad boys that sell their soul for p*ssy or the AFC's that act submissive and under the thumbs of their girlfriends (lost a few close friends this way).

Can anyone else relate to where I'm at? I know that my experiences have jaded me, but from where I am standing.. I think that I am beyond the point of expecting any woman to ever add to my long-term happiness. This might lead to an ultimately empty, self-serving existence, but I think I'm shelving the idea of making a woman in my life any sort of priority.

Perhaps I should just be grateful for the good I do get out of life, or not continue to dwell on the state of women or society today. I think I'm going to take up a new sport or hobby and see where that goes.

 

[five]

Yes, I have been dealing with this for awhile now. I was brought up to believe the world was a certain way and I had a hard time dealing with the fact that everything I used to believe in wasn't necessarily true. And what hit the hardest was the integrity of other people esp. women.

I used to be a very open and trusting person. College was my first experience of being betrayed by someone I thought was my friend. It was also my first experience of having a woman cheat on me. Also, add to that all the stories I heard and things I saw going on. (I guess I was pretty sheltered growing up). I turned everything off after that. It made it easier to deal with things that I now knew existed in this world. I guess I don't really have anything constructive to add, but, yes I can appreciate how you are feeling.

 

[slaog]

I'm trying to decipher whether or not this is some sort of low-grade depression I've had for years, a part of growing up and becoming a realist, or just a radical shift in my mindset to where I'm no longer enamored or excited by much.

It was a shift in your mindset. You started seeing things negatively after bad experiances.

In the past several years I've had to confront a lot of false ideals I was living under into early adulthood. I was ignorant.. ignorant of the fact that friendships are temporary, that people are ultimately self-serving, and that the concept of true love between a woman and a man I always had wanted to experience for myself was a pipe dream. I was honestly never "loved", I was the one doing the loving. When I got affection, it always came with a price.. it was a business deal, and little more.

Were you loving others? Because AFC's do things for others because they want something in return. They want to be loved or get attention back. It's not done consciously it's all subconscious.

I put women on a pedestal in my teens and early 20's and was always ultimately disappointed by almost all of them, or at least their lack of integrity which lead to the breakups. I know my AFC-ish ways were always partly to blame, but it was very sobering to realize that most women operate only on interest level, convenience, what they can potentially gain from you ($$) or your status. Being a good and godly man ranks very low on the scale of traits women desire from a man, unless the chick is ugly or fat and knows she can't do much better just because you're better looking than her.

There are quality women out there. It's just a matter of looking harder or in different places. I think most women these days are selfish so you are correct but not all women.

Emotions and feelings are something I can't separate from my former AFC mindset, because it was only when I was a total AFC that I "felt" anything. One one hand, I miss the range of feelings I used to get.. from playing guitar, or the excitement from a girl calling, etc. but I find that I'm much more unhappy now than I was before. I went from being an optimist, to a pessimist, from being open to women and new experiences.. to now making a mental checklist whenever I interact with a girl, being guarded 24/7 and trying to look for a reason not to get emotionally invested with any member of the opposite sex. I find this also translates over to men my age who, I'm frankly disgusted by.. either the bad boys that sell their soul for p*ssy or the AFC's that act submissive and under the thumbs of their girlfriends (lost a few close friends this way).

Real masculine men are neither AFC or Badboys. Thats what you should aim to achieve.


You'll have to start focusing on the positives. Negative things will happen and you can choose to focus on them or the positives. The choice is yours.

Can anyone else relate to where I'm at? I know that my experiences have jaded me, but from where I am standing.. I think that I am beyond the point of expecting any woman to ever add to my long-term happiness. This might lead to an ultimately empty, self-serving existence, but I think I'm shelving the idea of making a woman in my life any sort of priority.

Yes I can relate to where you're at. I've after spending the last year changing and now I'm seeing results and I'm much happier.

 

[Luminescence]

I got to thinking how nowadays, nothing impacts me emotionally. Music, thinking about women, nothing really makes me "feel" anymore. If anything, my analytical and practical side (based on my past experiences) blots everything out and robs me of any possible joy. In one way, it's good because before I got to this point, I was always too sensitive a person and incredibly AFC. But now I find myself ultimately unsatisfied in life. I'm too far on the opposite end of the spectrum. My life was honestly better when I was ignorant of the things I've learned about women, social dynamics, becoming a man etc.

I'm trying to decipher whether or not this is some sort of low-grade depression I've had for years, a part of growing up and becoming a realist, or just a radical shift in my mindset to where I'm no longer enamored or excited by much. In the past several years I've had to confront a lot of false ideals I was living under into early adulthood. I was ignorant.. ignorant of the fact that friendships are temporary, that people are ultimately self-serving, and that the concept of true love between a woman and a man I always had wanted to experience for myself was a pipe dream. I was honestly never "loved", I was the one doing the loving. When I got affection, it always came with a price.. it was a business deal, and little more.

I put women on a pedestal in my teens and early 20's and was always ultimately disappointed by almost all of them, or at least their lack of integrity which lead to the breakups. I know my AFC-ish ways were always partly to blame, but it was very sobering to realize that most women operate only on interest level, convenience, what they can potentially gain from you ($$) or your status. Being a good and godly man ranks very low on the scale of traits women desire from a man, unless the chick is ugly or fat and knows she can't do much better just because you're better looking than her.

Emotions and feelings are something I can't separate from my former AFC mindset, because it was only when I was a total AFC that I "felt" anything. One one hand, I miss the range of feelings I used to get.. from playing guitar, or the excitement from a girl calling, etc. but I find that I'm much more unhappy now than I was before. I went from being an optimist, to a pessimist, from being open to women and new experiences.. to now making a mental checklist whenever I interact with a girl, being guarded 24/7 and trying to look for a reason not to get emotionally invested with any member of the opposite sex. I find this also translates over to men my age who, I'm frankly disgusted by.. either the bad boys that sell their soul for p*ssy or the AFC's that act submissive and under the thumbs of their girlfriends (lost a few close friends this way).

Can anyone else relate to where I'm at? I know that my experiences have jaded me, but from where I am standing.. I think that I am beyond the point of expecting any woman to ever add to my long-term happiness. This might lead to an ultimately empty, self-serving existence, but I think I'm shelving the idea of making a woman in my life any sort of priority.

Perhaps I should just be grateful for the good I do get out of life, or not continue to dwell on the state of women or society today. I think I'm going to take up a new sport or hobby and see where that goes.

I think I know what you're talking about. A few things that help me in this experience is the sense of freedom (that less is holding me back.) I stop worrying about others, and feel strongly individualistic, It's what motivates me to be a survivalist, opportunist. I can only speak for myself though.

 

[Luminescence]

I got to thinking how nowadays, nothing impacts me emotionally. Music, thinking about women, nothing really makes me "feel" anymore. If anything, my analytical and practical side (based on my past experiences) blots everything out and robs me of any possible joy. In one way, it's good because before I got to this point, I was always too sensitive a person and incredibly AFC. But now I find myself ultimately unsatisfied in life. I'm too far on the opposite end of the spectrum. My life was honestly better when I was ignorant of the things I've learned about women, social dynamics, becoming a man etc.

I'm trying to decipher whether or not this is some sort of low-grade depression I've had for years, a part of growing up and becoming a realist, or just a radical shift in my mindset to where I'm no longer enamored or excited by much. In the past several years I've had to confront a lot of false ideals I was living under into early adulthood. I was ignorant.. ignorant of the fact that friendships are temporary, that people are ultimately self-serving, and that the concept of true love between a woman and a man I always had wanted to experience for myself was a pipe dream. I was honestly never "loved", I was the one doing the loving. When I got affection, it always came with a price.. it was a business deal, and little more.

I put women on a pedestal in my teens and early 20's and was always ultimately disappointed by almost all of them, or at least their lack of integrity which lead to the breakups. I know my AFC-ish ways were always partly to blame, but it was very sobering to realize that most women operate only on interest level, convenience, what they can potentially gain from you ($$) or your status. Being a good and godly man ranks very low on the scale of traits women desire from a man, unless the chick is ugly or fat and knows she can't do much better just because you're better looking than her.

Emotions and feelings are something I can't separate from my former AFC mindset, because it was only when I was a total AFC that I "felt" anything. One one hand, I miss the range of feelings I used to get.. from playing guitar, or the excitement from a girl calling, etc. but I find that I'm much more unhappy now than I was before. I went from being an optimist, to a pessimist, from being open to women and new experiences.. to now making a mental checklist whenever I interact with a girl, being guarded 24/7 and trying to look for a reason not to get emotionally invested with any member of the opposite sex. I find this also translates over to men my age who, I'm frankly disgusted by.. either the bad boys that sell their soul for p*ssy or the AFC's that act submissive and under the thumbs of their girlfriends (lost a few close friends this way).

Can anyone else relate to where I'm at? I know that my experiences have jaded me, but from where I am standing.. I think that I am beyond the point of expecting any woman to ever add to my long-term happiness. This might lead to an ultimately empty, self-serving existence, but I think I'm shelving the idea of making a woman in my life any sort of priority.

Perhaps I should just be grateful for the good I do get out of life, or not continue to dwell on the state of women or society today. I think I'm going to take up a new sport or hobby and see where that goes.

I think I know what you're talking about. Something that helps me in this experience is the sense of freedom (that less is holding me back.) I stop worrying about others, and feel strongly individualistic, It's what motivates me to be a survivalist, opportunist. I can only speak for myself though.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

Its age and life experience!

As I get older less and less surprises me. I also realise that most of what I see is bull**** and I learn to see through things. I think as you get older you see situations for what they really are instead of what everyone wishes they were. You are less idealistic and become more realistic.

Its wisdom, which comes with age and life experience IMO. The more you broaden your horizons, the more you will notice it.

 

[slaog]

Its age and life experience!

As I get older less and less surprises me. I also realise that most of what I see is bull**** and I learn to see through things. I think as you get older you see situations for what they really are instead of what everyone wishes they were. You are less idealistic and become more realistic.

Its wisdom, which comes with age and life experience IMO. The more you broaden your horizons, the more you will notice it.

I disagree.


It depends on attitude. Alot of people's attitude change with age but it's not wise to see the world more negatively. And sometimes what some people call the truth is just their version of reality.

 

[jafyk]

Rieg I can understand how you feel. I won't say I totally feel that way. For me I tend to feel more excited about little stupid things like making the left turn arrow at the traffic stop light, or when I score a last minute winning goal when I'm playing my PS2 soccer game but when it comes to being excited because a girl called it's not there. In some sense I think I'm still sensitive, and I think people pick up on this and sometimes try to piss me off for some reasson. God knows how many times I would love to glady loose it and knock someone out but it's not worth the consequences of such actions. Sometimes I see someone I haven't seen a while and they are so excited to see me , while I'm excited inside I can't seem to display that same animated expression coming from the other person so, that they can know that I'm really glad to see them as well. Even when people hug me sometimes I feel my body stiffen up (and I can't help it) and yet I do want to hug them. I secretly hope that they won't notice my stiffness. I don't understand this but this is how I feel at times. I also grew up with that same idea of women being good etc and guys being bad and now that I've come to see things differently it makes me feel like I don't want to deal with women except on a romantic level (for lack of a better word). People say stand up for yourself call people out on what they do. I've done this and I've lost people along the way, because it seems when you confront people about their actions they'd rather get mad and decide to walk away from the relationship. It's hard especially when you thought there was something concrete there. It's easy for people to say it's good you didn't deserve to have such people in your life anyway. It's tough when majority of interaction with even relatives is based on them needing a favor or the public holiday get togethers. Anyway, that's my take on the topic.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

I disagree.


It depends on attitude. Alot of people's attitude change with age but it's not wise to see the world more negatively. And sometimes what some people call the truth is just their version of reality.

Who says its negative?

Just like universities churn out socialist windbags by the dozen who mysteriously convert to capitalism once they see it in operation, it does not mean that people has become any less idealistic. They have just become more realistic and practical.

Bottom line is that with life experience less and less surprises you. Which means its impact on you emotionally declines. You become desensitized.

You would probably be beside yourself if you saw a dead body on the side of the street with gun shot wounds. That would effect you dramatically. See enough of it and it would not even phase you anymore. Get dumped a few times and you realise the sun comes up tomorrow and you are still going to **** the same colour.

 

[slaog]

Who says its negative?

Just like universities churn out socialist windbags by the dozen who mysteriously convert to capitalism once they see it in operation, it does not mean that people has become any less idealistic. They have just become more realistic and practical.

Bottom line is that with life experience less and less surprises you. Which means its impact on you emotionally declines. You become desensitized.

You would probably be beside yourself if you saw a dead body on the side of the street with gun shot wounds. That would effect you dramatically. See enough of it and it would not even phase you anymore. Get dumped a few times and you realise the sun comes up tomorrow and you are still going to **** the same colour.

You're right in what you say but I'm talking about what you choose to focus on. You can focus on that or you can focus on the better things in life.

 

[Warrior74]

In some deep cavern of your soul you must try and perserve some level of your childish optimism and perspective. Thats what gets me through those times when I can't seem to feel. Find a way to consciously release those thoughts. When I do this I get a rush of emotion (not AFC ****). A sense of adventure and excitment in life agian. Very difficult to explain...

exactly. also keep doing new things that interest and challenge you. Right now I'm trying my hand at writing pop tunes with some friends. I don't expect to be the next timbaland, but its fun to do and if we get a couple played on college radio that will be cool. New challenges. My problem is that I don't want any woman inside my life. All I want from a woman is a fun date and sex. I have a hard time letting someone into my life itself. I don't want any disruptions so I keep a lot of things seperate.

 

[reset]

Right now I'm trying my hand at writing pop tunes with some friends. I don't expect to be the next timbaland, but its fun to do and if we get a couple played on college radio that will be cool.

Good luck, same boat here.

It seems to be pretty universal that "the world" is how most people "expect" it to be.

Like when I expect things to suck and people to disappoint, there is no absence of evidence for that. When I feel good about life and focus on feeling good, there's no absence of evidence for that either.

So the question is, what came first, the chicken or the egg? Did feeling good cause life to be better or did life being better cause me to feel good?

To the OP.... part of the process of moving away from AFC is refusing to feel like crap. It's a tough one.

 

[Interceptor]

"Loss" of emotions is primarily linked to a depression.
It can be triggered by many things, but often by low self esteem.

The wanting to disconnect from feelings indicates the lack of the necessary skills and mechanisms needed to handle to wide fluctuations of emotions we feel.

Truthfully, we feel variations of Fear and Love.

When we feel no Love, we feel Fear.
Fear, can manifest in anger, and apathy, thus, a desire to feel numb,....not feel anything.

But our emotions are a Guide.
To disconnect from our emotions means to disconnect from our Guidance System. Which leads to a disconnect from our Higher Self.

When you do this you function from a purely, primal ego/defense mechansism.
Hence, you are in a survival mode, merely getting by day to day.

Since the presence of low self esteem creates low , heavy, dark, and dense energy, the momentum necessary to pull us out of the dark is not there.
If you disconnect from your spiritual source, and your Higher Self, you have no energy to lift you up out of the apathy and depression.
You begin a downward spiral.

Most people have unhappy, unfulfilling lives because they refuse to acknowledge a Spiritual World, and their own Higher Self, which is non physical.

When you do this, you become an empty shell. With no guidance, superstition, irrational beliefs, and disempowering, and overly material and ego defense mechansims take hold.
Nothing satisfies, not material wealth, because there is a restlesness and deep, unsettling discomfort. We bury it with drugs, sex, alcohol, overwork, and self sabotaging behaviors. We buy things to increase our self esteem, but it doesnt work. The feeling of satisfaction goes away all too quickly, and gratification is non existent there.

When you feel nothing, it means you value nothing.
If you cant even value yourself, you will not value anything internal, nor external.

when this happens, depression sets in.
Depression is anger turned inward.

Anger in a frustrated sense.

Depression because you dont know why you have no uplifting feelings nor circumstances, and even if by chance something nice would happen to you, you are not in a state where you can enjoy it.

Hence, why we cannot become 'happy' if we 'have' a GF, when we are in this kind of state of mind.
She can never complete you, or fix you. Your 'relationship' will be doomed.
It is law.
I see all too often posts about dissatisfied, disenfranchised, nihilistic men who contemplate 'well, if I got a GF....'...
not realizing, they will not 'get' a GF. They wont attract anyone.
They may pique some woman's curiosity about them, but once they smell out your weaknesses and state of mind, theywill not move forward with you.
You must be internally self sufficient.
You must be Self Realized.
And you must follow your dreams and your Mission.
Even if it means being alone.
Not every woman has the 'wiring' to be with you,and stand by your side.
And you must develop the emotional strength to handle that eventuality, which as you grow older is more likely.

If you are not prepared mentally and emotionally for the dificulties of these emotional upheavals, you will be truly tormented by the circumstances that will befall you.
We all NEED love and companionship. To admit this is not weak. It is not being weak to want to love and be loved. It is not weak to want to share with a companion. It is how we are wired. And to get away from that only leads to unhappiness. To willfully want to get away from that shows a sociopathic, and disconnected mind. One that is truly not humanely compasionate. Because if that person does not want love and companionship, that person cannot give it to anyone, not even themselves,. Thus, there is great dysfuction there.
They may try to rationalize it. But they are ego driven, not derived from their heart and from love and compassion for themselves and humanity. Think about it. To want to be away from love, can only mean you dont value it, and dont truly value yourself.

In the event you DO receive this, it doesn mean all of sudden your life gets easier.If youre not prepared, it will not be fruitful. If you are 'checked out', it is doomed from the start.
And if you are not taking steps not to take care of yourself, and truly, honestly manage your well being, you will get no relief , gratification, nor satisfaction from the relationship, or life itself.
The joy is in the journey.
To live in the past is to die a little each day, and to look only at the future, leaves you unable to deal with the severe circumstances, and emotional upheavals that await you.

The cure for low self esteem is allowing yourself to seek peace and happiness. And understanding and ackowledging it for yourself.
Make steps to live a good life. Do the things you want to do.
You may not have tomorrow to do it.
You may not even have tonight.
Whatever time you have wasted you will not get back.
Understanding that your emotions are a GIFT, and they SERVE YOU, and they are your Emotional Guidance System, makes you start making smart decsions about how you perceive your reality.

Your 'reality', your 'truth' is independent of every single person out there in the universe.

The truth you see every day before you is the one YOU have CREATED.

If you are unhappy, it is because you have repelled happiness.
if you are unfulfilled, it is because you have repelled fulfillment.

When you dont make decisions intelligently, with wisdom and love, you often REACT, unconsciously, with the Ego mind.
The Pain Body.

These store all your pains, fears, weakeness, failings, hurt, dread....

THEY make the decisions FOR YOU.

When you live like this , you are CHECKED OUT.
You REACT to the environment, you DO NOT make wise decisions that benefit you and the good of all.
When you become cynical it is because you have lost faith , and chose to disconnect yourself from the true Source, and your Higher Self.
You see the world as a horrible empty place, full of pain.

But all that is illusion.

You may say 'but it is a fact! it is truth!"
and it may very well be to you. But it is not Reality.
It is the REALITY you HAVE CREATED for YOURSELF.

Its like making your own movie.

We are all making our own movies.

Mine looks like this.
Yours looks like that.

To say your movie is the truth and mine is a lie, is ignorant.
It is not being practical , or a Realist
For reality is what you have brought into your life.
By YOUR decisions. The SAD FACT is that MOST of your decisions were made UNCONSCIOUSLY. Meaning, you were under the control of your ego and pain body whoch made the decisions for you, leaving you in the circumstances you are in.

This is why you hear about the terms of 'raising consciousness' or 'raising awareness.'

It is about opening up your eyes.
And awakening. Enlightening.
And not being sucseptible to what other people are telling you is reality, but living your own.
YOur truth is your truth. It is not, nor ever will be the Ultimate Truth for everyone.
There is such a thing as common factors.
But for every pattern you see, more circumstances and events that totally destroy the myth that there is a pattern.
This can only mean that some people choose NOT to get cancer.
And others simply believe doctors.
Some people refuse to get sick, and others are always catching a cold.

Once people realize that there is NO ultimate truth, and someone else's experience may NEVER be your own, and will hav e bearing on your perceptions IF YOU LET IT, they may begin to awaken.
Or ..they may grow fearful. Because now they CANNOT place BLAME on society.
Now, they realize that EVERY single thing, person, place, and experience they have lived......was attracted to them...by themselves.

Not paying attention to your emotions does not make you safe. Nor a better person. Not somehow superior.
It makes you a zombie.
And it acknowledges only two things....

You are fearful of your emotions.

You cannot handle emotions.


These are not traits of a empowered individual.


Think about it....

 

[reset]

Damn, Interceptor.

...We all NEED love and companionship. To admit this is not weak. It is not being weak to want to love and be loved. It is not weak to want to share with a companion. It is how we are wired. And to get away from that only leads to unhappiness. To willfully want to get away from that shows a sociopathic, and disconnected mind. One that is truly not humanely compasionate. Because if that person does not want love and companionship, that person cannot give it to anyone, not even themselves

I think admitting this to yourself is a sign of emotional maturity.

How can you lead a passionate life, be fascinated by the world you live in, eager to achieve and 'make your mark' as a reflection of your Mission, have people and things in your life that enrich your life and make you excited to face the day... and still have an inherent distrust of others and a cynicism towards people you don't even know? If you loved yourself, you would be eager to share that with another person.

But that's a key: SHARE. You are sharing something you already have to give. If you have nothing to give no one can give you anything that you could appreciate in the first place. This doesn't mean assume all people are going to be an asset to your life, but at least you can start with yourself. If you are getting your shyt together, if you make a commitment to live with high character, then there's at least ONE PERSON you can trust. And if there's ONE... there has to be ANOTHER who may have made the same choices.

My own journey started with a shock to the system that women weren't what I thought they were, they didn't think and act like I was told they did. And a lot of guys say they 'miss' the days when they were AFC because they were happily living in a fog of confusion.

But they were living in pain. Because even if you didn't know what the words AFC or DJ meant, even if you didn't necessarily know the rules of how to interact with women or what to expect of them, you didn't know the rules not to break... if you had that deep sense of self love as a foundation, none of that would matter. It would fall into place. Neediness would never enter the picture. The false "nice guy" actions of covert contracts, would never enter the picture. All the things that could ruin your chances wouldn't be there.

All of the 'problems' we discuss here (in my view) are simply the result of being disconnected from who we are, and hoping someone else will come along and fill that void.

And since we know now it's not possible for a woman to be this fantasized Disney princess, a lot of guys just end there. "Life isn't how I thought so that's that, I'm throwing in the towel. ALL WOMEN ARE XYZ....."

They had one model of reality that was TRUE (afc). Now they have a NEW OPPOSITE model of reality that is just as true for them (recovering and jaded afc).

If one model of reality can turn into a new model of reality, why stop there? How far can you go? Unless you are truly unfeeling, you won't let yourself be satisfied by not wondering if there is more.

Does it stop at "it's a numbers game" or "95% of women are not worth more than a second thought." Who has actually met 95% of the world's female population?

But the cynicism will eat away at you, and kill you even if you still walk amongst the living.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Here's a secret - there's no such thing as contentment. Being content implies that life is static, it's not, and to be honest, how boring would that be anyway? Life consists of varying states of discontentment: why else would you bother doing anything? But the good news is that it's more fun and more beneficial to manage discontentment than to endure contentment (which you can't anyway since it's transitory at best).

The trick is to understand that there are 2 kinds of discontent - creative and destructive discontent. What you choose to do with that discontent makes all the difference in the world. You will only get what you've gotten if you keep doing what you've done. Don't allow yourself to fall back into old destructive habits of dealing with discontent. Don't bother with anti-depressants and self-help books when a good hard workout at the gym would serve you better.

The truth is I'm always discontent, but creatively so. The minute you can look yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you see, you're sunk. You can always improve, even after achieving things that were very important and difficult to attain. Happiness is a state of being, it's in the 'doing' not the 'having done.'

That said, our emotional capacity is an integral part of our humanity. Emotional reactions to circumstances, our environment, our conditions, etc., all come as a result of having been useful in sustaining our survival as a species. It's very easy to cast feelings of fear, anger and jealousy in a negative light, but these emotions and their associated chemical reaction in our bodies prompt novel behavior. They've been, and are still, useful in keeping us alive by changing our behaviors, and/or prompting us to new ideas. Joy, happiness, feelings of accomplishment or fulfillment, sexual response, etc. are also useful as motivators. They are pleasant rewards that we've experienced before and would like to again, thus motivating the novel behavior needed to re-experience them.

So, unless you are on seriously inhibiting anti-depressants, or you've had key parts of your brain removed, you're still experiencing emotions. We all are. I am now to varying degrees as I type this. Most often we're not even aware of them because were we so sensitive as to feel them intensely all the time we'd go nuts. So they stay with us like in the periphery, usually subconscious. Just as you don't consciously control every breath you take, your emotions are autonomous, but can also be controlled. This control is the key.

I love being a human. I want to fight, I want to ƒuck, I want to run with my dogs and feel my heart pump blood in me, I want to read every classic and I want to paint a masterpiece. I want to bench 300 and I want to smell the ocean. I embrace that humanity - if you want to go spiritual, I can't imagine God would want me to be anything less than how he built me - I embrace that, good and bad, beautiful and ugly, but emotions don't serve you if you serve them.

Law 39: Stir up Waters to Catch Fish
Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive. You must always stay calm and objective. But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a decided advantage. Put your enemies off-balance: Find the chink in their vanity through which you can rattle them and you hold the strings.

I don't think I need to re-explain how women tend to be ruled by their emotions; it's their Achilles Heel, don't let it become yours. You haven't lost the ability to feel emotion, you're simply experiencing hopelessness, despair maybe some exasperation and frustration too. Control it.

 

[DMSR76]

Wow. This was a great discussion.

 

[decades]

the buddha has a name for this and all humans experience it. suffering.

 

[Splendidostring]

Interesting post by Interceptor.

I wonder though, it's been said that for one to stop being jaded we have to listen to our emotions and let them guide us right? Not that I want to create opposition but I believe that being jaded is an emotion, it means we're ULTIMATELY bored, no?

On another level, I do agree with you. If I take my case for instance, as I get older I lose tough with happiness. Back a couple years ago, little thing would make me smile like going for a walk listening to music, get out in town, success in my studies, etc etc. Nowadays, I just don't feel happy anymore, I feel mostly stressed out (had to go see a doctor for that, working on getting better) and mostly jaded. I do what I have to do but it's not like what it used to be (no feeling of satisfaction) and it's not what I wanted for me when I would reach 25!

As someone said earlier, sometimes we wish to lose all the knowledge we got through the years and go back to a state of ignorance.

I guess we all have to deal with life experience and find out stuff that makes us happy since as we get older our interests shift. (wanted to end it on a good note )

 

[Interceptor]

I forgot about that one. I did put things into perspective I think.
I hope it helps someone.

 

[Luthor Rex]

Sometimes I wonder about this topic as well. I've noticed that over the years I've become less sensitive when women screw me over. But I'm less sensitive to it because I care about the women less.

Sometimes there is a fine line between enlightenment and losing your humanity. There are times I'm really not sure which road I'm on.