looks vs personality

[ne0phyte]

hey guys,

its been a while since I've posted but its because I've been putting all the good stuff i learned here to practice. i'm currently w a girl that absolutely adores me. i control the frame, she's considerate, generous, and to be honest, she pretty much has what i'm looking for in a LTR from a personality standpoint.

the only downside is she's not nearly as blessed in the looks departments. all my past girls have been 7-8.5s on my scale. I would say shes barely a 7, or a 6 without make up on.

my issue is basically her looks. I'm actually thinking about breaking up bc of it. i know it's shallow, but its just not the same level of appeal compared to the other girls. even my friends politely rib me about her looks.

the issue is, I've dated my share of pretty girls in the past but its been so much headache. the sex is initially great, but the snotty behavior, drama and game playing wears thin and i always end up walking away. whats worse is i live in las vegas now and all the girls who are hot are super spoiled and just looking for sugar daddies. pretty girls make for great lays but horrible gfs from my experience in this town.

so is this feeling im having normal? or should i bite the bullet and end it to go back to chasing short skirts? personally, i want to have a wife and kids in the future, and there's that famous saying "if you want to be happy, never make a pretty girl your wife"

 

[Desdinova]

I'm kinda in the same boat, but the difference between you and me is I'm sick of pursuing women only to be gravely disappointed. I've taken Tenacity's view of women; They're only good for sex and companionship. Once you truly realize that, looks become a lower priority. No matter what a woman looks like, the puzzy is pretty much the same. Getting a woman with a 5hitty personality or one with lots of orbiters causes a lot of unneeded stress, and I'm fvcking sick of stressing over women. Give me one that causes the least amount of stress, and I'll be happy.

The woman I'm dating is crazy about me and treats me really well. She's not bad looking in the face, but her body is just kinda plain. I love women with a nice curvy ass to squeeze, but this chick just doesn't have it. Can I live with that? Sure.

You have to figure out what you can live with. If you still feel the need to go out and bang other hotter women, then dump this chick. If you're tired of raking in and dealing with trashy women, then you should hang onto this one.

 

[piranha45]

All women look like crap without makeup. What's the cause of her being a 6-7, is she just chubby/fat?

If FAT is the problem, be forthright and demand diet+exercise. Furthermore, you should lead her by example in this. Take her to the gym with you. Eat/prepare every meal with her.

If she's dedicated and you're willing to invest the time, 6 months of that and you should have a hot chick. But you'll have to keep her on the diet+exercise forever after, lest once she stops she'll balloon right back up.

Don't be ashamed about demanding a thin girl. This sorry culture we live in tries to downplay female aesthetics, so I put my preferences above society's.

Now if she just has a bad face, well... look for other women!

 

[guru1000]

I used to have this problem. When I made the decision to surrender my fear of not attaining the "unattainable," and pursue only the elite (to me), and never, ever settle--my life changed. I raised the bar and now the bar chases me. The low-hanging fruit of security--or GREATNESS? I live binary, never meet in the middle, nor negotiate, on any of my desires--all or none--till the end. Though, I noticed when life sees what I demand from it and the tenacity I am willingly ready to employ, it never disappoints me.

 

[ne0phyte]

thanks for the input guys. its reassuring to know you experts have been there and know what i'm thinking about. this place has fundamentally changed the way i view myself and interact with women, and its people like you that have made this forum so helpful through the years. :rockon:

i am attracted to my current girl, she just is more plain in the face than what I'm used to. great legs and tits tho, especially for an asian girl. she's a tiny bit chubbier than what she used to be in college, but I've already been doing what piranha45 suggested and she's been hittin the gym with me and going on hikes. she actually loves doing outdoor stuff with me. I guess i'm just lamenting the "wow factor" that used to run through my mind with some of my previous chicks.

guru1000, i agree with you in principle. if I didn't want to have kids i would be way more picky and just bang hot sloots until i found my version of the perfect girl. but i worry that by the time i find that perfect beauty who hasn't been spoiled by american culture and doesn't have a league of AFC orbiters at her beck and call, i just might need diapers the same time my first son does.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Neophyte,
Well whether a chubby 6 or a Sveldte 9,some Women are interested in Sex for the long term,most aren't...I am a Man who needs it most Days...So I would say....For me I find a Woman in the former category, as good looking as possible,not inclined to put on weight...and the caveat...I must be able to talk to her...Epicurus said 2.500 years ago,"When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory."

 

[Die Hard]

Ne0phyte, how would you rate your girlfriend in looks? I understand that she's not an HB9 but what number would you rate her then?

Be really honest.

 

[Lexington]

Unfortunately, it's rare to find a very attractive female who doesn't have a bit of an attitude. They have tons of options all the time. On the flip side, it's not easy to lock down an extremely in demand man either. The only way to keep a 10 is to be a 10 yourself.

Keep in mind that a lot of the very attractive women you see out there aren't really that attractive when they lose the makeup and the nice clothes. There are very few bonafide 8+ women out there.

 

[piranha45]

IMO you can't have a 9-10 without powder, lipstick, mascara. We're so acclimated to the makeup that anything lacking makeup looks butch... runway models included.

Hence its mandatory that women doll themselves up good. But glamming herself out is only half the job... the hard part for most women is keeping the waist thin.

 

[ne0phyte]

Everyone's different, but on my scale, shes a 6 without makeup, a 7 with. I think part of my dissonance is that i see her without makeup a lot now that we've been together for a year now. So its a big shock comparing her real image to the dolled up 8s i see at the clubs. And u guys make a great point, those 8s arent 8s without their makeup, heels etc

And to be honest, i would say im between a 7-7.5 myself. Im decently in shape, dress well with tailored clothing. But its definitely not like im a 8+ dude in the looks department chasing fuglys bc i have low self esteem.

Attraction and sex with her is not an issue at all. She's very open to trying things and I'm very satisfied. :yes: I dont think shes gonna turn into a fatty on me either. She loves hiking more than i do now. Even when i want to take a break, she wants to keep going. Ended up doing a 8mile hike with just 15min break for lunch.

I guess the more i think about it, its the whole having your cake and eating it too dilemma. u guys know what its like to have a babe on your arm that turns heads left and right. Makes you feel damn good inside. Then we realize how much headache and stress it can be to deal w a girl like that in the long run. So here we are lol

 

[channingtatum]

Well, right now I've been with my version of a 10 for about 8 months. Latina, big tits, little waist, big ass and she adores me. She's the sweetest, most loving little creature. But you know what? After about 6 months went by and the thrill of the chase ended and we've had sex about a billion times, I started getting "the urge" again. I started looking at other girls, thinking about opening up Match again to see what's out there, etc. Once you're a DJ and can pick up women who are your version of an 8+ with relative ease, you'll never want to be with one woman the rest of your life. I'm struggling with it myself.

 

[sodbuster]

If you are looking for kids..... I'd say stay where you are. The urge for strange is overpowering. I want to tap women I KNOW aren't a fit into my life.... just because. BUT as a man, we are supposed to be able to make the hard choices to further our life plan.

My girlfriend is the same way. When she's dressed up with her warpaint on, she is SMOKING hot, cute without it. BUT, I've dated enough crazy {and married one} so boring is fine with me

 

[Lexington]

I've seen some of the leaked nude celebrity pictures from the Fappening etc. and honestly, when these A-list actresses and models weren't in their makeup and nice clothes, they weren't that much more attractive than some of the women I've slept with. Even Kate Upton didn't look that fine when she was in bed naked and photographed with a cellphone camera. She certainly didn't look bad but it was a far cry from her Sports Illustrated shoots.

Even if you were fvkcing the finest lingerie model in the world it would start to get a little boring after you've done her 100s of times. It's only natural for a man to want variety. If you've got a woman who truly adores you, that's something quite rare these days. I agree with sodbuster, if you want a loyal companion to raise kids with perhaps you should be happy with what you have.