Looks vs Love/Personality/BS

[Digitz]

Hey guys,

It's been a long time since I've posted anything but I could use your input.

I'm dating a couple of women currently.

One is very attractive, physically and just a cool person. I like hanging with her but I kind of know that it's not going anywhere. She's a little spazzy but shes supportive and is pretty great in bed. She's great to have on my arm and I enjoy my time with her.

The other was a friend of mine for a long time first, and then we started hooking up. She's pretty but not what others think I should be with, like I get looks from other women when we're out like what the hell...
Thing is, she's got an amazing personality, and I'm attracted to her, she also happens to be loaded and buys me lots of gifts. I like this, I'm spoiled as hell.

I do well for myself and I take care of myself, I have an awesome job and I make good money but shes earning like 300k and is offering to take me to Bali and buy me $1400 leather jackets and sh*t. Let's be real, financial is a pretty key component and the skys the limit with this girl. Super supportive, loving, and could help me with my career.

Anyway, I'm ashamed to admit but sometimes I feel embarassed to be with her, particularly with my friends/her friends as we hang in the same circles. It's not fair for me to keep this up as I've been incapable of committing to this chick and shes in love with me and essentially wasting her time unless I do commit.

The easy logical thing for me to do, and what I want your advice on is, do I just cut ties with her due to my shame, do I get over it and commit to her, or do I just cut it and go with this other hotter chick who I don't have as much of a personal/spiritual connection with?

Looking forward to your input

Best,

Digitz

 

[HariPoter13]

You don't want a bunch of strangers on the internet making this decision for you. It's something you have to do yourself. Just one thing from me - drop the shame out of the equation. Don't be ashamed because of your girl, be proud. I have friends that went for girls based on their personalities not their looks, and they are happy.

 

[Digitz]

Appreciate your input guys.

Best,

 

[Jitterbug]

Girl #2 is pretty and has a great personality & good career making big bucks. Yet you're embarrassed to be with her. Let me guess, she has a nice face but is fat?

Try getting her to exercise.

 

[sodbuster]

See what mom and dad look like...there's your future. They all start looking less pretty as they age,how bad will it be?

 

[scrouds]

:rockon: P :rockon: I :rockon: M :rockon: P :rockon:
Keep it up!

 

[vatoloco]

Anyway, I'm ashamed to admit but sometimes I feel embarassed to be with her, particularly with my friends/her friends as we hang in the same circles.

Before I give you my opinion, I'd like for you to please clarify something for me: are you embarrased to be with her because you don't dig her physically or because your friends don't think she's good enough for you?

Does she pass the boner test?

 

[Digitz]

Haha, she does pass the boner test.

I'm embarrassed because my friends think I'm dropping my standards for this chick.

As an update, I've now dumped the hot chick as she was annoying. I've also cut ties with this one but am thinking of getting back with her and seeing how it goes.

My main concerns now are my reputation and missing out on a 10 in looks and a 10 in personality. It's selfish to want both but I'm a young man with time on my side right?

Maybe I just move forward and be done with it. I'm just upset that I'm losing a great person that is one of my favorites to hang with in my city. She's made my time here a lot of fun and I want it all, her on the side at night and a hot chick under my arm when I'm out.

I'm an as*hole, sue me. Thoughts?

 

[Knight's Cross]

Your a guy, that implies you want a hot piece of a$$. That does'n't make you an as*hole. I was in similar circumstance. I dated a chick that totally was in love with me, made great coin, but deep down I knew I could find better. She was attractive, but I knew I could go up a level. I'd been with higher before~ It's a tough choice, as other posters have implied you have to decide for yourself. In your case, being 26 in Boston, I'd think you'd want to get out and play field some more. There's no rush, heck I'm 41 and still playing the field.
I will make this observation. Lots of senior executives do not have trophy wives. Their wives aren't ugly, but they usually aren't 10 on the looks scale. So somewhere in their dating lives, this crowd of guys decided, that looks cost more than the investment was worth.
KC

 

[vatoloco]

My main concerns now are my reputation and missing out on a 10 in looks and a 10 in personality. It's selfish to want both but I'm a young man with time on my side right? ... Thoughts?

Unless you're a 10 in looks and a 10 in personality yourself (or have a huge dick, deal drugs, are famous and/or have a shitload of money), I think it might be a little difficult to get a woman that is a dime in both looks and personality,

With that said, good luck!

 

[Digitz]

Appreciate your feedback guys again.

Cheers

 

[CuriousGirl]

Don't forget, looks fade and when the **** hits the fan what will be better for you, someone with a pretty face or someone you have a deeper connection with? A hundred times the latter.

But I guess it depends what you want right now, do you want a serious relationship? If not then it doesn't really matter (though it would be nice to not string along the girl in love with you).

Also 10 in looks and 10 in personality is a rare find and you've gotta have the qualities to keep someone like that.

 

[Slickster]

Sounds like you are into girl #2 more for her money rather than her great personality.

 

[Lexington]

Why do you give a flying fvck about what other people think about this girl? It's 100% your decision. If you don't find her attractive enough, do the right thing and end it. You shouldn't end it because other people think you can do better...you'll be the judge of that.

 

[st_99]

Looks like this post is old and over with but my thought is...

So one girl is not into you (not going anywhere) as you put it.

The other is straight fugly (you're embarrased) as you put it.

Whats there to decide? Neither will work. Have fun and carry on. That is all.

 

[ilikecharlene]

looks, well i guess there is a common standard of attractiveness. but to me, personality is completely subjective. I think saying a good personality is being fun and outgoing is just a contemporary bias, since our society deems those traits as good. plenty of dull or lifeless people are in marriages.

 

[SteR]

Don't forget, looks fade and when the **** hits the fan what will be better for you, someone with a pretty face or someone you have a deeper connection with? A hundred times the latter.

But I guess it depends what you want right now, do you want a serious relationship? If not then it doesn't really matter (though it would be nice to not string along the girl in love with you).

Also 10 in looks and 10 in personality is a rare find and you've gotta have the qualities to keep someone like that.

I think there's some truth to this. Plus even if you did find a 10/10 for looks, eventually you'd grow accustomed to her so the whole looks thing is a bit dangerous to base a relationship on..

However if you're not looking for anything serious and just playing the field then I guess it's not as much of an issue.

 

[zekko]

Unless you're a 10 in looks and a 10 in personality yourself (or have a huge dick, deal drugs, are famous and/or have a shitload of money), I think it might be a little difficult to get a woman that is a dime in both looks and personality

Good point.
First off, I don't believe in 10s. I think the rating represents an ideal, but I don't think they actually exist.

Secondly, I've always thought that when it comes to women who are HB9 or so, they are so ruined by all the male attention they get, that they're really not good for anything but sex. The girls I've known who are HB9s have had nearly all of the males around them wrapped around their finger. They get staggering amounts of attention and validation. Check out this thread, for example:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=191201

Third, like you say, even if a 10 looks/10 personality existed, she's going to have an awful lot of options. It's going to take a pretty high value guy to land her. What are you going to do, toss a neg at her and watch her follow you around for life?