Looks v Game

[sapphire]

Sorry guys, but you can't be extremely good looking and have all these women approach you because just like a girl who is drop dead gorgeous will intimidate alot of guys the same works with men. Usually it is the 7-8 who are approached alot while the 9-10s are only approached by very confident men or women in the case of a model handsome man.

They may hang around you and look at you alot, but the best looking people are approached less than the average or moderately good looking people who nonetheless exude a certain sense of confidence and charisma about them.

In fact if you are considered very good to extremely good looking many women will assume for whatever reasons that you are gay and will write you off.

 

[waldo]

Well in my opinion unless you have Brad Pitt looks you won't get anywhere without at least some game. The average AFC gets some every now and again simply because he accidentaly says or does something that to the girl comes across as very attractive/alpha.

I look back at the first times I got anything from girls and it always happened on nights that I acted completely cool and relaxed (without meaning to), got chatting to them (without really caring about it), and made a move on them (simply because I felt 'randy' at the time).

In otherwords on these nights I had excellent game, without planning it. Yet I'm told by lots of girls I'm cute, and told by my male friends that I'm a good looking guy. None of my first 5 encounters with girls were because I'm 'good looking', they were all because I (without meaning to) had excellent game.

These days I know I could get more action if I grew some balls!, I'm getting closer and closer to just not caring, which inevitably will lead to me, as sods law states, ending up getting just what I want.

So to get back to the question, yes looks are important and are in a way like a tiebreaker if your competing with a similar guy, but ultimately the biggest factor is just having the confidence to approach and talk to girls. Many many very decent looking blokes just can't stomach that.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Sorry guys, but you can't be extremely good looking and have all these women approach you because just like a girl who is drop dead gorgeous will intimidate alot of guys the same works with men. Usually it is the 7-8 who are approached alot while the 9-10s are only approached by very confident men or women in the case of a model handsome man.

They may hang around you and look at you alot, but the best looking people are approached less than the average or moderately good looking people who nonetheless exude a certain sense of confidence and charisma about them.

In fact if you are considered very good to extremely good looking many women will assume for whatever reasons that you are gay and will write you off.

What are you basing this on? It sounds like a nice theory, but a lot of theories are unrealistic and don't apply in the real world (i.e. communism, lone gunman, etc). In clubs, attractive people get approached all the time. Ever since I got into crazy shape, I've had a ton of girls come up and start conversations with me that led to other things. My wing, who is easily considered a male 10 by countless women gets approached even more.

 

[Fatality]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
What are you basing this on? It sounds like a nice theory, but a lot of theories are unrealistic and don't apply in the real world (i.e. communism, lone gunman, etc). In clubs, attractive people get approached all the time. Ever since I got into crazy shape, I've had a ton of girls come up and start conversations with me that led to other things. My wing, who is easily considered a male 10 by countless women gets approached even more.

Do you and your friend get approached anywhere other than clubs?

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by Fatality
How exactly do these girls approach you guys?

For me, the usual scenario runs something like this:

A girl will use an excuse to make my acquaintance, such as a question about a class or about someone I know. Then they use another excuse to exchange numbers or get my number via one of my friends. Then they start sending me text messages, drop hints, ask questions, fish for evidence of a girlfriend, flirt and then ask me out. Some girls just ask me out straight, but others ask me to hang out among a group.

I find that women very rarely hit on guys directly unless they're drunk or in a club (meat market) scenario. They're usually more cautious than that and will use face-saving techniques and encourage you to make the move.

Always look for ice-breaker questions and make the most of them. Sometimes a woman will approach and ask you for a cigarette, if you know someone or maybe even start with a compliment about your clothes (if you're wearing something distinct). A lot of guys don't see this sort of thing as an "approach" so they miss out. Don't expect a girl to suddenly reveal her interest and start making out with you if you're not making any advances.

 

[sapphire]

Mind Over Matter:

I never meant to suggest that attractive people don't get approached. I think that any decent or even average looking guy is going to get approached under the right circumstances. What I meant to say is that exceedingly attractive people which accounts for say .02 of the human population are not directly approached as much as people who are just plain attractive.

Without going much into it there is a seperate thread in the Archives section titled "Too GoodLooking" that pretty much illustrates the problems that arise by being overly attractive.

 

[So Many Ways]

I agree with waldo

Well in my opinion unless you have Brad Pitt looks you won't get anywhere without at least some game. The average AFC gets some every now and again simply because he accidentaly says or does something that to the girl comes across as very attractive/alpha.

Agreed. I knew one dude who was really good looking and had women approach him but he was one of those "top .1% of the looks department" type guys. However the friends I knew who did the best with women were the guys with superior game. I've had friends who were short or broke or fat or anorexically thin who had no problem meeting attractive women.

I look back at the first times I got anything from girls and it always happened on nights that I acted completely cool and relaxed (without meaning to), got chatting to them (without really caring about it), and made a move on them (simply because I felt 'randy' at the time).

I cosign. My experiences have been identical.

In otherwords on these nights I had excellent game, without planning it. Yet I'm told by lots of girls I'm cute, and told by my male friends that I'm a good looking guy. None of my first 5 encounters with girls were because I'm 'good looking', they were all because I (without meaning to) had excellent game.

True dat true dat....

These days I know I could get more action if I grew some balls!, I'm getting closer and closer to just not caring, which inevitably will lead to me, as sods law states, ending up getting just what I want.

That's the key right there although the road seems to be long...

So to get back to the question, yes looks are important and are in a way like a tiebreaker if your competing with a similar guy, but ultimately the biggest factor is just having the confidence to approach and talk to girls. Many many very decent looking blokes just can't stomach that.

What waldo said is 100% correct. I agree with that fully and it follows my personal experiences by the tee. Whenever I'm feeling good and game is just flowing out of me, I feel like I can pick up the hottest girl in there. However if I feel like sh!t and I can't even open my mouth to say hello or I'm nervous, nothing.

Think about it. You're in the typical club environment. You have 2 guys, one a tall musclebound GQ guy and standing next to him is a shorter, maybe balding and somewhat overweight but he's well dressed, charismatic, confident and has no fear of approach. The GQ guy on the other hand can't even say hello. Who's going to have more success? Of course looks are a factor but being good looking with no game is like having a luxury car with no engine.

 

[CLOONEY]

To answer a few questions asked to me:

Tha Realnezz
I like to think I also have game, and most would tell you I definately do! But then again, I know good looking dudes without game, who also have babes falling in love with them just because of their looks.

Someone asked, "how did I bloom into a swan", lol, sounds funny, but:
Firstly I cleared up my acne and got a tan (I had naturally very smooth skin), but you could not tell when I was in my early teens because of the acne. I was a bit pudgy, I wouldnt say fat, but definately chubby. I lost the weight and as I grew, I grew to just under 6', I also somehow grew a very athletic looking body and am in shape. I went out and spent thousands and thousands on clothes (yes, I was fortunate enough to have the money). I also make sure I always have my hair styled in the latest fashions, and I took up some sports really intensly, giving me confidence. I hung around different people, tried harder in school, got great grades and everything just fell together, all combining to make my game go through the roof.

Someone else said about 9-10 guys not being approached. LOL, nice theory, doesnt apply to reality. I hang around a LOT of models, both guys and girls, and ALL get approached numerous times in a night. Especially some of the girls, although most of the guys that approach them are drunken idiots!

As far as being approached, I am approached at university, in malls and in clubs. Although in malls etc, it is usually their friends asking for my number for them. Infact, in the past few months, I have only approached once, and got with about 15 beatiful woman. Trust me, looks mean an absolute HEAP when it comes to woman.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Going a little off topic, but how did you clear the acne Clooney. I used Roaccutane but still have some red marks and a bit of inflammation left but my skin is very soft and acne free.

And yeah, I do believe that looks are very important, but I think what Eternal Bachelor was trying to ask was how much could game compensate for not being the best looking guy. Are people destined to date girls of around the same point range on the 1-10 scale as themselves, or with game can they pull girls who most men would consider to be out of their league?

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
Going a little off topic, but how did you clear the acne Clooney. I used Roaccutane but still have some red marks and a bit of inflammation left but my skin is very soft and acne free.

And yeah, I do believe that looks are very important, but I think what Eternal Bachelor was trying to ask was how much could game compensate for not being the best looking guy. Are people destined to date girls of around the same point range on the 1-10 scale as themselves, or with game can they pull girls who most men would consider to be out of their league?

Man, I used it all, Bactrum, Minomycin, about 5 different coctails of creams, over years and years. Then finally I thought, fukc it, and I got Roaccutane (well it was called something else, cant remember the name, but its the same stuff). This cleared my skin greatly, although yes, there were still some small scars and redness. This went over the next few months and once I added the tan, it went instantaneously! I then used this other stuff about 6 months later (when some small dots came back) and it cleared it up completely. I now use this other stuff about once a week. Its called Clindatech (spelling is something like that), but it is pretty much pure alcohol (poison), and it takes off layers of the skin. This can be annoying as it can take the tan away also a lot quicker, but its great because it gives your skin a real clear baby looking skin. Like "peaches and cream" as I have been told by a few different woman (usually old woman in resteraunts), LOL!

As far as dating girls out of your league. Yes, of course you can if you are at least decent looking, and ANYONE who puts enough effort into their appearance can look decent. It then comes down to being truly confident within your own skin and with your life. I also have a few friends who are decent looking, and they get a LOT of woman, even though they are not anything special to look at! They just dress very nicely (by nicely, I dont mean in Hugo Boss etc), I mean in funky, cool fashion. You can get a lot of great clothes from cheaper stores! If not, fly to Bankok or Hong Kong for your next holiday and get yourself an entire new set of fake Deisel etc. You can get some great fake clothes, and NOBODY knows the diference! (one of the current girls I am dating only buys legit clothes, she is a multimillionaire, and hates people who buy fake sh*t), although she had NO IDEA that pretty much all my stuff is fake! LOL!

Point is if you have game, take pride in your appearance, you can get a LOT of girls. But a good looking guy who does the same as you, will ALWAYS have the edge over you. But then again, there are millions of beautiful woman in the world, and not much competition, so it is very easy to pull hot woman.

 

[Juan_Man]

I don't think I'm that goodlooking. Probably about a 6.5 now that I've put on some much needed weight (I'm 5'10'', 160lbs.). I'm an average guy who has been rejected by 6s and accepted by 8s. Even when I was 5'10'' and 135lbs., I was still getting checked out by cute girls. It's all about your confidence level and whether or not the girl you approach is a b!tch or not. It's not about looks. It's not about game. It's a combination of how confident you are and how nice the girl is.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Do you and your friend get approached anywhere other than clubs?

For him I can't really speak, but I have been approached in most random locations before, class (we're talking University classes of 300+ people), bus stops, work, etc. I've gotten the "you look familiar, where do I know you from" icebreaker from girls I've NEVER seen in my life (and my facial memory is amazing, I recognize faces from 5-10 years ago).

 

[david90]

Originally posted by Juan_Man
I don't think I'm that goodlooking. Probably about a 6.5 now that I've put on some much needed weight (I'm 5'10'', 160lbs.). I'm an average guy who has been rejected by 6s and accepted by 8s. Even when I was 5'10'' and 135lbs., I was still getting checked out by cute girls. It's all about your confidence level and whether or not the girl you approach is a b!tch or not. It's not about looks. It's not about game. It's a combination of how confident you are and how nice the girl is.

.

got a pic? i'm around a 7 and need some encouragement.

 

[Juan_Man]

I would never post a pic here for privacy reasons. I'll just say that I'm a babyfaced, black guy with a darker complexion.

 

[skeeloo]

Originally posted by sapphire
Sorry guys, but you can't be extremely good looking and have all these women approach you because just like a girl who is drop dead gorgeous will intimidate alot of guys the same works with men. Usually it is the 7-8 who are approached alot while the 9-10s are only approached by very confident men or women in the case of a model handsome man.

They may hang around you and look at you alot, but the best looking people are approached less than the average or moderately good looking people who nonetheless exude a certain sense of confidence and charisma about them.

In fact if you are considered very good to extremely good looking many women will assume for whatever reasons that you are gay and will write you off.

true i agree with this, in my own experience iv noticed that in clubs girls hang around the good looking guys when i say good looking i mean really good looking guys, but these girls never approach, i think if she approaches you she isnt intimidated by you. but in some cases some girls might. same happens in uni. but some get more agressive as they get older and approach . in a way the pretty boys have it bad.lol
so in other words game is important.

 

[sapphire]

Yes, I know some guys posted threads disagreeing with my opinions on the subject of looks and approaches but it is my observation that women by and large will stare with their deer in the headlight eyes and gravitate around very good looking men but will rarely approach because of the intimidation factor. They will usually hang around hoping that you will approach her.

 

[frivolousz21]

i think looks are over-rated!

unless u are fat as ****..or ugly as ****..your looks are somewhat moot.

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by sapphire
They will usually hang around hoping that you will approach her.

Indeed, this is something very common to look out for, especially if you have been exchanging eye contact.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

I feel I'm constantly at odds (not as much these days though) between looks and game/attitude.

All my life, I have relied entirely on my looks. That helps, but only so far. I get alot of female attention, walking into places etc., I see women checking me out all the time.

And that's where it always got me - I don't like being the centre of attention. I literally can 'freeze up' at times because of this, like I feel I'm in the spolight and everyone is watching me.

It's a nasty double edged sword at times.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Oh, and whoever said that good looks intimidates women, you are damn right. I really need to smile alot otherwise I've noticed women freeze up around me as well. That really screws up my game, as women who get all shy and stuff on me really put me off balance.