LOOKS or YOUR LACK OF CONFIDENCE..YOU DECIDE!

[tiburon]

There is more than one reason for which I am writing this post? One of them is due to the lack of confidence of some members of this site, and another is to see if I can stop some AFC behavior , or Pvssy behavior that I feel in the atmosphere of so suave. The final reason would be to help out those who are willing to take advice and will listen to what I am about to say.

First I want to address the issues of looks, college, aggressiveness, and being natural.
Having said this I will state the following:

Looks are not important!
Aggressiveness is important!
College is not an exception but rather an exaggeration.!
To be Natural is more than to be a DJ.

So ok before anyone starts saying that the Brad Pitt of your town or university gets all the girls because of his looks, and that the Hunch Back doesn’t even get a conversation going I want to get one thing clear! There are many people with physical problems out there who do to bad fortune have abnormal facial deformities or other body deformities.
Looks do affect them clearly but many of them are able to overcome this circumstances and find partners they can cherish. On the other hand you have genetically gifted people who are extremely good looking and they attract many at first glance. Now ask yourself one question . Do you have physical deformities that are affecting you when it comes to attracting the opposite sex or are you a Brad Pitt? Take two seconds and answer this question and at the end of this post I will take an opinion on your answer.

How can look be so important either in high school, college, big cities, etc …when to begin with “ BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER”. No matter how society tries to shape what’s attractive or not, there are things that will be attractive to some and unattractive to other because deep down inside there is a part of us that is unaffected by the Media! It really disappoints me when I hear someone in this site say how looks do matter , or how they help , etc. Every time I hear a comment from one of the members I realize that member has a way path to becoming a DJ and even longer path to becoming a NATURAL. Such comments let me realize that individual lacks self confidence, that the individual is weak as he blames the fact he is not a pretty boy , a brad pit, or a lumber jack as the main cause for his lack of action with woman. From my own experiences I do know looks are the least important thing when it comes to attracting woman , having woman, or becoming a ROMPE CORAZONES ( RP a heart braker !). I don’t consider my self the HUNCH BACK nor BRAD PIT and I the fact I am average like 90 percent of the guys in this site. Even funnier is the fact that my friend is ugly as hell with big ears, red hair, and now that he is not even an athlete anymore, he gets more Pvssy than myself. He is not reading articles on how to attract woman nor crap like that either but he is more experienced that I am and I have to admit this without excuses except the one that he is 3 years older. How you ever met a girl who wasn’t a 10 but you would give your left nut if you could to sleep at least one night with her. Well that has happened to me many times. I love woman and I will be a fool to say the personality of a woman does not play an important role even when it comes to plain physical sex. So I will prefer having sex with an attractive girl that I know the reason I am attracted to her is more than her looks over any 10 cold b1tch! This is me a WOMANIZER speaking about how looks even for woman don’t always play the most important role. In fact I have been with fuglies because they can turn me on …they can make me feel the sex will be great ..and many times it has been. Woman think they want MR BODY BUILDER, MR BRAD PIT, MR THUG, but lets face it …do woman ever know what they want? Ask a woman what is it that she looks for in a man and you will get a pretty good idea by just assuming the opposite. Woman don’t even realize that they are controlled by their unconscious mind.

So what can looks can do for you……

Well maybe let you get away with some AFC behavior for a while….(LOL JUST FOR A WHILE)
They can get woman to notice you at first and even approach you and make your job easier…..
They can even help you be more confident……

What negative effects can they have…..

You can become so in love with yourself you become gay.
You become as fake as does watches they sell in NY for 5 dollars.
You become softie who lacks testosterone.
But last but not least they can prevent you from ever feeling good about yourself…….

A Member of sosuave: What?!!!! I Don’t get it ..how can been good looking prevent you to feel good about yourself? Dude you don’t know what you are talking about.

Believe it or not good looking people tend to be very insecure and this apply to woma and man. The day they loose their looks due to age they will leave miserable lifes unless the change their attitudes . Have you ever noticed a guy in the gym who is just all cut up, big biceps , huge legs, just like those guys From MENS HEALTH or MUSCLE and FITNESS. Ever felt like there was something wrong with him other than the fact he was too much into himself. Well if you did you were probably right and what you felt were his insecurities affecting him from acting natural. How do I know this…….Well I used to be like that for a while at a younger age …amazing shape but so concern form looking good to attract woman that I was not being natural. This also occur for athletes who always want to be number one….and that was a problem I dealt with …..if I was not number one I was depressed and my only cure was to kill myself doing exercise and training so that I could be number one again!

I left the weights to one side and decided to never look at the mirror in the gym as I saw I was becoming like those guys who I criticized …who are to much into themselves. No I can care less if I look like Body Builder or not but more concern with my athletic abilities. What are the results of this approach. For one thing I am a better athlete and for other I am more confident , feel better about myself , and I am Natural. When I say this people usually don’t believe me because they can imagine the satisfaction you feel until you give everything away and become free.

So I just explained the good and bad from being good looking and how it can keep you from being Natural and at peace with your surroundings ….no I will tell you how this attracts woman even if you have big ears, a big head, or big nose.

Society now and days is a world of insecurities, and almost everyone out there with the few exception of Self Actualized people ( Research Self Actualization it will do you good!! ) have more insecurities than they can live with. They are weak , easily influenced by trends, by material crap, by what we some call “cool”. If you haven’t noticed this go to NY city and see how people buy Hummers when they never even take them out doors and Ferraries to show the m off and they are afraid of driving fast! But you are different you realized you don’t need a Mercedes Benz to be cool, or a 3000 dollar suit, you are happy even if you are poor . Well I am not saying not to buy things you like either but not to ever buy them because they are going to make you feel better about yourself., or because they are going to help you fvck more woman. A person that is himself and has very few insecurities approaches what I call THE NATURAL . THE NATURAL among may thing is a person who sends a vibe across the air who most people are attracted to but cant understand why as he is not extremely good looking, rich, etc.... They cant understand what it is because they are very far away from this state.

So what can you do if your looks are not your best attribute…

For one thing realize you might be lucky ..
Be yourself and be a Man and be confident
Be AGGRESSIVE , you might not be Brad Pitt but you can have more balls than Brad Pitt, Arnold at his prime, YOU ARE A MAN , UGLY maybe , BUT YOU ARE A MAN , and that’s all that matters when it comes to attracting woman.


Tiburon





P.D
Finally College is a weird place but it’s a lie that good looking guys get more pvssy because of their looks. In College the guy who gets more pvssy is the most experienced one..TRUST ME

 

[Anonymous56]

Great post.....as for the looks thing...I have been approached many times by random ,good looking women(I now realize, how different my life would be at this point if I had just ACTED UPON THE SITUATION)...do I get any *****? NO...guy I know who is pretty damn funny looking, smokes and drinks all the time gets laid pretty much every weekend. Looks only gets you in the door and allow the girl to approach you rather than the traditional way. That isn't even a good thing, you feel more in control when YOU make the approach.

 

[MVPlaya]

The Biggest P!MP I Ever Knew

The biggest Pimp I ever knew was in his forties, he was an immigrant from Turkey, 5'11", and about 350 pounds. This man had so much game you wouldn't believe. He had a mouthpiece. He used to be a salesman and would sell 2 to 3 cars a day and have his clients come back to him for more conversations. He was married (divorced) three times. All his wives (and women) were 9s and 10s and all of them were SUPER-INTELLIGENT. He dated super-fine Ivy League chicks with the most attractive personalities I have ever seen. And his playing style differed radically from most people I have met. Rather than putting the attention focus on himself by attempting to espouse "charisma" through all these little signs that he was a man of importance. He would give the other his full and undivided attention and show to them they were important, and when he talked to them, they felt like they were the ONLY people in the world. I would go as far as to say that the reason he got these super-fine women was because he was overweight. The reason is this, the superficial stupid women wouldn't look twice because they were unappealed to his looks, this leaves our Player in Chief with a wide range of intelligent cultured women. He then would discriminate against the fuglies (he only dated SuperModel look-a-likes) and as a result get only superhot intelligent women. So if you have mad game, bad looks are a filter to get rid of stupid b!tches.

 

[MikeYikes122]

Damn man, great post. I just came back on this website for the first time in a long while after losing faith in it just because of all the kids who like to give advice just to feel better about themselves, but this kind of hits home with me here man. I have been putting too much stock in my looks (ive started using body wash, conditioner and shampoo!!), and you raise some interesting points. This might entice me to come back here a little bit....

 

[Ares]

f*cking incredible

this really spoke to me, I have never had a big problem with my looks, never thought that a girls dint like me because of it and in general been happy with it.
or so I thought, while reading your post I had a revelation.
The only thing left for me to work on mindset wise is this, I have gotten to hooked up in my own looks, for christ sakes I even stand infront of a mirror and sing rock songs just to see my own expression(yeah I know, I share this treath with 12 year old girls )
the only "fear" left in my mind is that I dont look my best, I dont take regetion hard, I talk with girls easily, I flirt like hell, I get most girls I want, but: I care to much about my looks, and I know see that this gives me a handicap. So thanks a lot bro, Im gonna start working on it right away.....

 

[violator]

There is a ring of truth to what my Cuban friend is saying.

I have read so many posts on that looks matter. They do matter but, in reality, as long as you are not atrocious looking, dress reasonably well and smell good, almost any girl is going to give you a chance to impress her. After you open the door so to speak and are given the audition, that is when what you do seperates the true DJ's from the rest and gets the girl.

That is why a guy who is average looking but spewing with confidence, personality and charm will go much farther that a very good looking guy who is inept. I see it everyday. There are many good looking guys who don't get laid and vice versa.

Wonder why you see so many hot girls with average and even slightly ugly guys?

For instance last weekend, I went to a club and saw an ex-oneitis who I used to date and who I have not seen in over a year walk out with some average middle aged dude. My jaw dropped because this girl is like a 9.2. But who knows, maybe the guy just had alot of balls and confidence. Then again maybe she was trying to get me jealous.

As for myself, many people say I look like one of the guys in Men's Fitness. I am in great shape, have abs, etc. But, I know of men who don't look as good but still get laid more.

In the end, the good looking guy will go only so far, while the average looking guy with confidence will rule the day.

 

[Eddy]

Man, I definetly agree with this post. Compare Brad Pitt to Billy Bob Thornton. NO arguement over who is better looking. But , Brad Pitt had Jennifer Aniston, and Billy Bob had Angelina Jolie. I think Angelina is much hotter. Most women who have acted in movies with Billy Bob have said there is an irresistable sexiness about him. I think most women would go for him over Brad Pitt. The media wants to make Brad Pitts the sexiest men alive. But, the reality is that more than looks matter. Look at Bruce Willis. He's no super model, but he was with Demi Moore for a long time.

I'm a good-looking guy, but that doesn't get me anywhere with women. I've had people tell me all the time how good looking I am. But, I've had very little success with women. I also have low self-esteem and little confidence. I'm more passive than aggressive. I got a 9.5 on hot or not. I've had men and women tell me I should be a model or an actor. Looks might get women to talk to you and even approach you, but they won't get you any farther than that.

 

[njitalstalian]

way too much emphasis on looks... focusing on ya looks can definitely hold ya back..."is this gunna look right on me?' "am i tall enough for her?" "****, i dont have light eyes and dark hair like that dude has" cmon gimme a break!!! focusing on ya looks just limits you....

i aint no model but my self concept is pretty F'n strong and powerful and certain women pick up on that right away...

"you dont have ya looks forever but one thing u do have forever is your CHARACTER AND PERSONALITY and your POSITIVE SELF IMAGE!!!! "

 

[hjsknksbm]

They are both important. But some women have certain criteria that if u don't meet they won't give you a chance. I been to parties where i was "Mr. Outgoing", talking to every ***** in the place and then my good looking jock friend with the squared off face comes in for 30 seconds walks out with the bit*h. My opinion is looks gets ur foot in the door, but u need the personality to close the deal. So I guess it's also a matter of getting ur foot in the door and making a good impression. That's why appearance counts so much. People base 90% of what they think of you in the first 90 seconds! So take advantage of this and do something about it.

 

[FlyGuy]

The endless debate rages...

How about this radical thought - Looks matter and being ugly limits the number of women that will want to be with you. For example, I'm short and bald (and only 25). A lot of women WILL immediately put you in the non-fvckable category for things like this. But not all of them. What this really means is that you have to be more persistent, face more rejection, and ultimately work HARDER to have the same results as someone with all of your "DJ skills" that has looks also. Its not all or nothing unless you truly are the elephant man, but to deny that looks are a big factor in the game is just denying reality. Hey, if that helps you have more confidence in the game then keep it up.

 

[tiburon]

ITS a shame

I am really dissapointed that after spending about an hour writing that post there are so many of you outhere who dont learn , or listen. But i guess for some people it takes longer than for others to become a DJ.

LOOKS DONT LIMIT ANYTHING!

 

[Gonzalo]

Good post Tiburon. Yeah I agree. I've even known guys who got more AFC after getting in good shape by weightlifting (i.e. expecting women to approach "them"). It's all about the game I guess.

 

[40quid]

Looks can act like a resume, it makes it easier to get into the door, but once you're in, you still have to the goods to back it up.

I used to feel horrible about myself, because I am below-average height for a guy and used to have bad skin. However, I soon realized that as long as I did what I could do to fix the things that were under my control -- like my skin, body language, and inner game, things started happening to me.

Now, of course, I wish that things were happening faster, but when I get discouraged, I just look at how far I've come since I realized that I was an AFC.

 

[FlyGuy]

I dare you to shave your head with a razor, down to the skin, and try all your techniques. Do this for a month. See if you have the SAME success rate or not. Unless you are built like Vin Diesel and have a nice shaped head I think you will be in for a rude shock.

I hear this all the time, looks will get you in the door but they will not keep the girl. This is true. Obviously looks aren't everything. They are only part of the equation.

However, guys like you don't seem to realize the importance of "getting in the door". What does it matter if you're smart, funny, confident, etc. if the girl of your desires isn't PHYSICALLY attracted to you? In other words, she never let you in the door to begin with.

What you are saying is that you can MAKE a girl feel physical attraction for you by using certain techniques or having a great personality. If that were true then ANY one of us should be able to have ANY woman we want. I just don't think that's true. From what I've seen, a great personality BUILDS on attraction that already exists. It never CREATES attraction.

You don't think women will reject a guy based on his looks? I have had many women directly admit that they have done this. I once overheard a couple of women talking about which guys at work were "datable" and it went like this:

Woman1 "Dave is a nice guy and all, but that hair..."
Woman2 "What hair?"
Woman1 "Exactly."
They both laughed at this.

I can show you match.com women's profiles where they specifically say things like "won't date short guy/fat guy/bald guy/whatever". To say looks are irrelavent to women is simply false.

Sure, every girl is different. But there are many universal traits that most women look for - just like men. A certain percentage of women won't date a guy shorter than them. Another percentage of women won't date a guy with a beer gut. And yet another percentage of women won't date a guy who is bald. So if you have all of these problems going against you it means you have to filter through MORE women in order to find the ones who don't mind a short, fat, bald guy. This is reality. Those without looks have to try harder or compensate to get equal results.

Why is it that the DJ Bible, or for that matter ANY publication on dating for men, starts off by saying you should do AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE to make yourself physically appealing? If it didn't matter, why would it be there? Why would we spend so much time at the gym, so much money on clothes, and so much time asking about tips to look better on the sosuave.com message board if it didn't matter?

 

[Mr. Latte]

I agree, and yet disagree. Like you said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You date the people YOU find attractive.

The other individual's perception of your looks are what matters, not the image the media puts out.

Tiburon, when are go we gonna chill? PM me when you're in Miami again.

 

[tiburon]

ONE MORE TIME......GOD THIS IS FUSTRATING...

WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG

I dont know what to do to make you guys understand but this is definitely my last attempt even know i know some of you lack so much self confidence that if they told you right now on sosuave, ASKMEN, or Doc love that a leather jackets would make you more attractive to woman, you guys would run to EDDIE BROWN and buy your self a 400 dollar jacket and at the end get the same fricken results. ITS NOT THE JACKET, ITS NOT YOUR LOOKS < ITS YOUR CONFIDENCE.


"I dare you to shave your head with a razor, down to the skin, and try all your techniques. Do this for a month. See if you have the SAME success rate or not. Unless you are built like Vin Diesel and have a nice shaped head I think you will be in for a rude shock."

You know its funny some one stated this becasue i have done that before. I did it for swimming season , and i did it in school for the heck of it. Want to know the SHOCKING RESULTS: well girls in my school said :"what have you done to yourself", but i was so confident that after 2 days they all started rubbing my head to see how it felt and after that i hooked up with a girl that loved bold guys and another one who i guess realized or got turned on by rubbing my head and dealing with the first guy who is truly able to say: "I do as i like and i dont give a crap what people may think or who may like it or not and that the only opinion that matters is mine" Trust me all of those saying "ahhhhh" , at the same time were shaking their heads and thinking to themselves : "THAT BOY IS CARZY". If you guys were here with me at Cornell I would do it and keep it shaved fro 3 months and then show you how id didnt matter but unfortunately is a bit too cold right about now in ITHACA.

"However, guys like you don't seem to realize the importance of "getting in the door". What does it matter if you're smart, funny, confident, etc. if the girl of your desires isn't PHYSICALLY attracted to you? In other words, she never let you in the door to begin with. "

No i realized the importance of "getting in the door " i just know you can get in many more doors by being an experienced Casanova than a Brad PItt look alike . But l see that some people here are obsessed with their looks and even blinded by them.. GOOD LUCK YOU ARE IN FOR A BIG SURPRISE IN LIFE.

"What you are saying is that you can MAKE a girl feel physical attraction for you by using certain techniques or having a great personality. "

Yes i am saying that experience , technique and personality can do that for you .

"If that were true then ANY one of us should be able to have ANY woman we want. I just don't think that's true. From what I've seen, a great personality BUILDS on attraction that already exists. It never CREATES attraction. "

This proves that some of you have alot to learn. The reason all of you cant have every woman you want are the following :

First not ALL of you guys have the personality AND OFCOURSE THE CONFIDENCE REQUIRED.
And second is the failure that many of you have to realize that first great impression can be caused by personality and self confidence and this ones are more impressive than looks.

Now the whole thing about "a great personality BUILDS on attraction that already exists. It never CREATES attraction"
I dont know where this comes from or was invented but the last time i checked personality wasnt build by attraction, you either have a great personality or you dont , and if you dont believe personality creates attraction then you lack experience in the field.

"Woman1 "Dave is a nice guy and all, but that hair..."
Woman2 "What hair?"
Woman1 "Exactly."
They both laughed at this.


What you dont see in that conversation is that Dave with his lack of hair has even grabbed one of the womans' attention....Sh!t i know many guys with hair couldnt even pull that.

Sure they might be laughing and all, woman make fun of evenb their bf d1cks when they are alone....but if Dave is confident doesnt stress his lack of hair and has experienced can take both woman to bed if he wanted to. then the conversation the next day is

Women1: "you wont believ what happen" with a slick smile
Women2: "What ?"
Women1: " I slept with Dave...?"
Women2: What!!!! i knew it..you always liked him..."
Women 1: Not really and i dont know how it happen but Dave turns out to be very experienced .....(day dreaming about how dave fvcked her)
Women2: (Thinkling if she can tryout DAVE the boldie)

Dave could had ben a very experienced guy who knew how to handle woman , and played with theri heads. THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAY..MANY BOLD GUYS are TRUE PIMPS !

This reminds me of a friend that i had with a big head ....he used to blame his head for his problems with woman. Turns out to be that when i showed him one of my best friends in action who has a BIG HEAD , i mean a BIG HEAD he realized how stupid he had been.

"I can show you match.com women's profiles where they specifically say things like "won't date short guy/fat guy/bald guy/whatever". To say looks are irrelavent to women is simply false. "

If you believ woman know what they want..then you need to leave this site immediately. In sites like match.com they are going to post all the things they thing they want ...in real life some fat shorty will show them what they really want but they are not even aware becasue THEY ARE WOMAN.. and for the simple reason that the fat shorty is experience and he knows the nature of woman...THE SAY ONE THING THEY MEAN ANOTHER..AK THEM WHAT THEY WANT IN A GUY..THEY WILL TELL YOU ALL THE THINGS THAT WILL BORE THEM!

Why is it that the DJ Bible, or for that matter ANY publication on dating for men, starts off by saying you should do AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE to make yourself physically appealing? If it didn't matter, why would it be there? Why would we spend so much time at the gym, so much money on clothes, and so much time asking about tips to look better on the sosuave.com message board if it didn't matter?

You should improve yourself if you can ..no question about that.. But there is a limit of how physical appealing you can make yourself ....and when you start acting like a fool with a tupe, tight shirts, etc. But knowing how to dress, to use cologne, to be clean, go to the gym, are signs that you are in control of your life , that you are not a kid anymore, not that you are physically attracitive and the fact that you are incontrol of your life attracts women. The reason you spend so much time at the gym, so much time asking about tips , or so much money on clothes is because you are insecure about yourself and very far from being NATURAL.

YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW TO DRESS
HOW TO WARE COLOGNE
BE CLEAN
BUT LIKE A MAN AND NOT A PRETTY BOY
YOU SHOULD BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE
BE IN SHAPE FOR YOUR HEALTH,

BUT CONFIDENCE you dont resolve buy buying clothes or going to the gym!!!!

LOOKS DONT MATTER!!!!

Tiburon

 

[njitalstalian]

tib,

i hear u loud and clear.... when i say limiting... im talking about a persons self-image.....guys put limitations on themselves due to physical attributes that they have...BIG NO NO!

I agree, if a girl isnt initially attracted to u physically from minute 1..... dont even bother...

B4 the DJ jumps into the bottomless ocean, if he cant swim then he better be wearing his swimmies.....

another words, DJ needs to do his homework 1st... to see if hes getting the right signals from here before he sets himself up for the big R.....

i do have to agree.. there isnt a day i dont go that i dont make sure that my outifit is up to par and that im lookin fresh and ready to pimp!

 

[FlyGuy]

Keep denying reality then.

 

[Frank Zappa]

Originally posted by FlyGuy
Keep denying reality then.

Yeah... to think looks don't matter at all is absolutely ridonkulous... Obviously looks are another sphere in the equation, in which if you have good ones, it's a smaller hill to climb. And yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but if you have a lot of traits that are physically undesirable to the person, obviously it will be harder for you than someone else... You'll have to have a much better personality. The fact that you'll have to be that much better in personality then the other person makes it so LOOKS DO MATTER because she's factoring in looks into her decision. ~Zappa

 

[THA REALNESS]

How many looks vs.confidence posts are there?