Looks Money Status and it never being good enough.

[The411]

By now we should all know that your looks, money, status as in working out, grooming/dressing your best, and working hard to make good money and get good grades/ being socially open and free should be the most important thing for you even before considering chicks.

But just a heads up.

You need to have a solid inner foundation besides the above points that are stressed by many or else no matter how you increase those things if your inner foundation isn't truly secure and zen like you'll never feel you are good enough.

Remember there's always someone out there who'll be better than you as in looks, money, status, socializing etc. You still need to not only recognize that and be comfortable with it while improving but also be solid with your inner self in that you are able to take a joke/laugh about yourself and not take things personal due to insecurity. You must also realize you are improving first and utmost for yourself and not specifically for a chick or chicks. You must not simply be in a contest with yourself in which if you "slip" at a point you aren't beating yourself up about it or driving yourself insane constantly trying to 'one up' yourself and realize there will be plateaus at times or a final plateau for everyone.

You have to besides improving and moving forward in life realize that you cannot go through life trying to compete with everything around you that you deem "better" than yourself or you'l end up going insane.

Just like any and EVERY chick is insecure with something to a degree no matter how hot they are they will silently compare themselves to other chicks. As in the other chick who they think looks 'better' than them, has more money than them, has better social skills, a better 'nose' or whatever.

Some may turn into a monstrosity using constant need for 'improving' as in plastic surgery and go overboard, some will sleep with as many men as they can to 'prove' they are more wanted by guys than an equal looking friend.

For yourself realize if you may be shorter than 6ft. You could be 6ft and be in a room with friends who are 6'2 and STILL not feel 'tall' enough if you aren't secure with yourself and don't a solid inner core.

You could have made 20 million dollars and STILL not feel 'good enough' if you are in a room with people who have 100 million in the bank if you aren't secure with yourself and don't have a solid inner core.

You could go out and get the hottest chick you could and STILL not feel 'good enough' if you were in a room with even hotter chicks than her if you aren't secure with yourself and don't have a solid inner core.

You could groom and dress your best and STILL not feel secure with yourself if you are in a room or associate with people who look and dress better than you if you aren't secure and don't have a solid inner core.

You could be completely shredded and be in a room with dudes who are juiced up roid monsters and STILL not feel 'good enough' if you aren't secure with yourself and don't have a solid inner core. Those same dudes NEVER feel good about themselves as they have to constantly compare themselves to the other jacked up dudes and do more juice to get "bigger" even if they are the biggest dude around.


Point being you should always work on yourselves to improve for you, but build that foundation on a solid inner core by realizing there will always be people out there who will look better, have more money than you, or have a higher social status/circle the key is most people are insecure to some degree (they'll start comparing themselves to others on their level and never feel 'good' enough) but if you are truly secure with knowing that, while improving you'll still be ahead of them without driving yourself insane constantly trying to outdo others and most importantly yourself as you are "Zen like" and comfortable with the improvements you are making.

 

[Roni_88]

By now we should all know that your looks, money, status as in working out, grooming/dressing your best, and working hard to make good money and get good grades/ being socially open and free should be the most important thing for you even before considering chicks.

But just a heads up.

You need to have a solid inner foundation besides the above points that are stressed by many or else no matter how you increase those things if your inner foundation isn't truly secure and zen like you'll never feel you are good enough.

Remember there's always someone out there who'll be better than you as in looks, money, status, socializing etc. You still need to not only recognize that and be comfortable with it while improving but also be solid with your inner self in that you are able to take a joke/laugh about yourself and not take things personal due to insecurity. You must also realize you are improving first and utmost for yourself and not specifically for a chick or chicks. You must not simply be in a contest with yourself in which if you "slip" at a point you aren't beating yourself up about it or driving yourself insane constantly trying to 'one up' yourself and realize there will be plateaus at times or a final plateau for everyone.

You have to besides improving and moving forward in life realize that you cannot go through life trying to compete with everything around you that you deem "better" than yourself or you'l end up going insane.

Just like any and EVERY chick is insecure with something to a degree no matter how hot they are they will silently compare themselves to other chicks. As in the other chick who they think looks 'better' than them, has more money than them, has better social skills, a better 'nose' or whatever.

Some may turn into a monstrosity using constant need for 'improving' as in plastic surgery and go overboard, some will sleep with as many men as they can to 'prove' they are more wanted by guys than an equal looking friend.

For yourself realize if you may be shorter than 6ft. You could be 6ft and be in a room with friends who are 6'2 and STILL not feel 'tall' enough if you aren't secure with yourself and don't a solid inner core.

You could have made 20 million dollars and STILL not feel 'good enough' if you are in a room with people who have 100 million in the bank if you aren't secure with yourself and don't have a solid inner core.

You could go out and get the hottest chick you could and STILL not feel 'good enough' if you were in a room with even hotter chicks than her if you aren't secure with yourself and don't have a solid inner core.

You could groom and dress your best and STILL not feel secure with yourself if you are in a room or associate with people who look and dress better than you if you aren't secure and don't have a solid inner core.

You could be completely shredded and be in a room with dudes who are juiced up roid monsters and STILL not feel 'good enough' if you aren't secure with yourself and don't have a solid inner core. Those same dudes NEVER feel good about themselves as they have to constantly compare themselves to the other jacked up dudes and do more juice to get "bigger" even if they are the biggest dude around.


Point being you should always work on yourselves to improve for you, but build that foundation on a solid inner core by realizing there will always be people out there who will look better, have more money than you, or have a higher social status/circle the key is most people are insecure to some degree (they'll start comparing themselves to others on their level and never feel 'good' enough) but if you are truly secure with knowing that, while improving you'll still be ahead of them without driving yourself insane constantly trying to outdo others and most importantly yourself as you are "Zen like" and comfortable with the improvements you are making.

I believe it could be perhaps the most difficult part to internalize, to naturally do this for yourself and not unconsciously do it to pick up girls. I'm still guilty for this and I'm working hard towards it.

 

[The411]

I believe it could be perhaps the most difficult part to internalize, to naturally do this for yourself and not unconsciously do it to pick up girls. I'm still guilty for this and I'm working hard towards it.

You and I, and all of us can only maximize our looks, our money, our status to the best of our ability while remaining grounded with a solid core and the ability to laugh at ourselves while not get stressed over it so long as we keep moving forward even through bumps in the road.

Just remember those who may seem light years “beyond” us in whatever aspects (chicks and or dudes) who we see as ‘perfect’ in regards to having much more than us are still insecure in their own ways when they compare themselves to those on their “level”. IE: Still not good looking enough, tall enough, too tall, not huge or ripped enough, not pretty enough, not enough friends (Facebook, social circle etc.), not thin enough and on and on.

Everyone is always comparing themselves to others. It doesn’t matter where you go on the planet. Black, White, Asian, tribes, buisness people, sports, music, art, social scenes, all walks of life. Everyone is trying to get ‘ahead’ or ‘outdo’ others no matter how successful they may become financially, socially, or model (how they look to others). You or any of us cannot name anywhere on the planet this doesn't occur. It’s those with a solid inner core to build on and whom realize everyone else suffers from the same insecurities they may have had themselves will be a much happier complete person than those who have no solid inner core and drive themselves insane or even worse by feeling never ‘good enough’ to their peers.

Build and progress yourselves in your lives not for a never ending supply of positive feedback and ‘acceptance’ from others while having no solid core or those same positive compliments will only serve as a temporary ‘band-aid’ if you aren’t confident and solid internally. It will only last temporary and you’ll be on a never ending addictive fiend chase for feeling ‘perfection’ through the eyes of others and yourself driving yourself into a deep depression, alcohloisim, drug addiction, addictions to plastic surgery, working out and doing juice, trying too hard to impress risking our own health, or in severe cases death.

 

[BraddH]

This is why you should drop your ego and completely forget about trying to be the best. You will never be. In the first place, there will always be someone who is better than you at something. Even when you become the richest person in the world, you start to compete about who has wasted his life more creating money that he doesn't even need. Now what will the richest people of the world do with their money? Was it worth spending all that 50-60 years focusing in making so much money he doesn't even have the time to use even half of it. He could have used some of those times to read books, go on an adventure, explore the world and learn more. And finally he starts to compete about who has more time left in this world... - it is a vicious circle. The ego that is.

Secondly, there is about 50 active members here trying to be the best. Just look at the fact and see it. Only one is possible to become the best. You are saying that the other 49 will remain misery for the rest of his life? Absolutely stupid.

Now, every person is taught from the moment they go to school that they should become the best. In other words, you are competing with 99.99 percent of this world for this "best" spot. And only one is possible to become the best. That is absolutely stupid.

You should aim to become the best you, but never the best in the world. There is a fine difference. A fine difference that differs the ego and the no-ego.

 

[sylvester the cat]

you cannot 'drop the ego'. the ego comes part and parcel of who and what we are.

you can master the ego though as opposed to be subservient to it.

insecurity comes from your thoughts and what you focus on. all your demons are internal not external.

to become 'bullet proof' is to give zero fvcks.

 

[The411]

This is why you should drop your ego and completely forget about trying to be the best. You will never be. In the first place, there will always be someone who is better than you at something. Even when you become the richest person in the world, you start to compete about who has wasted his life more creating money that he doesn't even need. Now what will the richest people of the world do with their money? Was it worth spending all that 50-60 years focusing in making so much money he doesn't even have the time to use even half of it. He could have used some of those times to read books, go on an adventure, explore the world and learn more. And finally he starts to compete about who has more time left in this world... - it is a vicious circle. The ego that is.

Secondly, there is about 50 active members here trying to be the best. Just look at the fact and see it. Only one is possible to become the best. You are saying that the other 49 will remain misery for the rest of his life? Absolutely stupid.

Now, every person is taught from the moment they go to school that they should become the best. In other words, you are competing with 99.99 percent of this world for this "best" spot. That is absolutely stupid.

You should aim to become the best you, but never the best in the world. There is a fine difference. A fine difference that differs the ego and the no-ego.

Everyone should strive to maximize their lives for themselves. But if you do that without having a solid inner core foundation and only to "prove" things/ validate yourself to others, and constantly to yourself (in which case you already aren't comfortable internally with yourself and each of the upper levels of your path to progress) you'll wind up going insane or become deeply depressed when things don't "go your way everytime" or you don't get the temporary "fix" of others postive approval let alone any negativity that you can't brush off your shoulders.

You could become the best looking, most cut up, well dressed dude in the world, with the most money and if your inner core isn't sound and solid you'll never be happy but insecure and lonely. Even positive compliments from peers and the hottest women in the world won't help much if at all at that point. They'll flatline for you as that temporay addictive 'fix' will never be good enough to change your own self-image.

It has to come from inside you.

 

[BraddH]

Everyone should strive to maximize their lives for themselves. But if you do that without having a solid inner core foundation and only to "prove" things/ validate yourself to others, and constantly to yourself (in which case you already aren't comfortable internally with yourself and each of the upper levels of your path to progress) you'll wind up going insane or become deeply depressed when things don't "go your way everytime" or you don't get the temporary "fix" of others postive approval let alone any negativity that you can't brush off your shoulders.

You could become the best looking, most cut up, well dressed dude in the world, with the most money and if your inner core isn't sound and solid you'll never be happy but insecure and lonely. Even positive compliments from peers and the hottest women in the world won't help much if at all at that point. They'll flatline for you as that temporay addictive 'fix' will never be good enough to change your own self-image.

It has to come from inside you.

Yes it has to come from the inside.

 

[latinnova]

"Folks are usually as happy as they make their minds up to be." Abe Lincoln.

 

[BraddH]

you cannot 'drop the ego'. the ego comes part and parcel of who and what we are.

you can master the ego though as opposed to be subservient to it.

insecurity comes from your thoughts and what you focus on. all your demons are internal not external.

to become 'bullet proof' is to give zero fvcks.

Mastering the ego is the final phrase of dropping it. Or you could say that they are the same thing. Once you become the boss of your ego, then there is no ego to boss you around anymore.

 

[backbreaker]

I deal a lot with guys and girls for that matter who are at the bottom of the barrel, dealing with drug addicts and what not. I see a lot of dudes who would be fresh out of prison or fresh off the streets and have girlfriends and ****. some times, even cute ones!

That could never be me.


See I've learned something. It's why when I'm off I'm really really off and when I'm on, I'm really really really on.


It's not about how much money per say you make or how good you look or how much you go to the gym. It's how close you are to what you perceived you should be.


In other words, if inner game were a math equation it would be


Your perceived value - Your desired self = inner game with closer to zero being the best you can get.


I could not get girls when I got drugs because I knew I wasn't supposed to be a drug addict. I could not get girls when I was not in shape becuase the person I perceived myself to be was always in shape. I discounted myself before any girl ever did.


While I'm pretty well off I'm not the richest person in america or any **** like that. I have a nice house in a nice suburb but I don't live in Malibu (yet lol), but when I went to sleep and I would dream about the person I wanted to be, I'm that dude. Nice house, nice car, in shape, run my own business. I'm confident as ****. I don't care if there is anther guy around me that has 10x the money I have because I have exactly what I want out of life so far I'm very content.


Write down exactly who you want to be, leave no detail out, and become that person. the closet you are to that person the higher your inner game will be.

 

[The411]

I deal a lot with guys and girls for that matter who are at the bottom of the barrel, dealing with drug addicts and what not. I see a lot of dudes who would be fresh out of prison or fresh off the streets and have girlfriends and ****. some times, even cute ones!

That could never be me.


See I've learned something. It's why when I'm off I'm really really off and when I'm on, I'm really really really on.


It's not about how much money per say you make or how good you look or how much you go to the gym. It's how close you are to what you perceived you should be.


In other words, if inner game were a math equation it would be


Your perceived value - Your desired self = inner game with closer to zero being the best you can get.


I could not get girls when I got drugs because I knew I wasn't supposed to be a drug addict. I could not get girls when I was not in shape becuase the person I perceived myself to be was always in shape. I discounted myself before any girl ever did.


While I'm pretty well off I'm not the richest person in america or any **** like that. I have a nice house in a nice suburb but I don't live in Malibu (yet lol), but when I went to sleep and I would dream about the person I wanted to be, I'm that dude. Nice house, nice car, in shape, run my own business. I'm confident as ****. I don't care if there is anther guy around me that has 10x the money I have because I have exactly what I want out of life so far I'm very content.


Write down exactly who you want to be, leave no detail out, and become that person. the closet you are to that person the higher your inner game will be.

True but if a person's inner core isn't solid to begin with writing things down won't help. Nor will encouragement.

Any slip will be "defeat" in their eyes, any negative comment will dent their ego further even in progress, any progress will make them feel uncomfortable as they aren't internally secure even IF others notice and praise them for it.

They will then have to push harder to validate themselves to what they think OTHERS think they should be even if they don't know what others "best" is required for their own selves or even if the person with the weaker inner core becomes financially, socially, and better looking/dressed/groomed/physique than them.


IE: You work out and look better than most people. You go to a new gym and dudes look even more cut up than you, you start juicing to get bigger, some dudes are still bigger, you notice different dudes have better biceps or whatever, you worry your d1ck isn't big enough. It's like a person whom no matter what drives themselves nuts over every detail and is never truly comfortable with themselves. Same with people with cosmetic surgeries/breast implants that turn themselves into freaks. They aren't internally happy no matter what and that "addiction" drives them over the edge and destroys them.


It would be fighting an internal battle of never knowing when "enough is good enough" or living up to X number of people's expecations that you improving yourself have no idea of what their expectations are or you could even control that in the first place.

You take a person with a weak inner core and move them to different levels of improvement and they will then compare themselves to those on their level and nothing will ever be good enough. Not that they shouldn't improve but if their inner being isn't solid as they go through their journey to progress they'll always be looking at those "better" than them.

A LOT of people do that. They'll try to bash others "below" them to feel "superior" to them, but internally not feel good enough to those they see as "above" them. Compliments and encouragement will flatline as it will become the same old same old. As in like a chick who's only told she's "hot" all the time or some dude who's told how handsome he is all the time. If their inner core isn't solid they'll always need more of a 'fix' till it means nothing and they STILL aren't happy.


The only way is to realize everyone is insecure to a certain extent about something and EVEN IF they "have more" or seem "better" than you or I we must realize they are human too. They have insecurities but it's on a different plane. Once you realize everyone is human and they all have insecurities you know that you aren't alone. You just improve to be the best self you can be and learn to laugh at yourself yet understand what others may be dealing with even if they may never say it or express things as anger, AWing, bullying, being a crap parent, neeeding to sleep with as many people as possible and on and on.