Looks mini rant

[DJFear]

Well..its been a while since I registered here and many things have changed. For the most part it has been a long and painful journey with minimal rewards. Nonetheless I lost my V card and have gotten laid here and there. Even had a gf.

But heres the thing that keeps coming up over and over again. No matter what, I can not get the truly hot/beautiful girls. Online, socially, clubs, it does not matter where its as if it was not meant for me to get the really hot chick.

Thinking about this deeper, there is only so much one can do. Everyone has their own limitations. So to me "looks matter" is more about what type of girl you can attract. If you are average, then average or below average is what you will be able to pull off. If you are ugly then probably only the less attractive girls will be down for it. If you are hot, its as simple as dont shoot urself in the foot.

There are exceptions of course. And there are game equalizers and those are social status and money. You have those, you will probably be able to get a decent chick for yourself. With out those be prepared for a reality check and better be happy with whatever you can get. Its better than nothing at all.

/end rant

 

[FairShake]

There are exceptions of course. And there are game equalizers and those are social status and money.

Be the exception.

If it's important to you to have as many of the hottest girls you can optimize your look by working out and choosing a flattering wardrobe, have cool friends who can introduce you to hot women, and make a comfortable living to have fun with.

Those things aren't hard but they aren't easy either. They take work and even if they are half completed I imagine you would appreciate their fruits.

 

[TheException]

So to me "looks matter" is more about what type of girl you can attract. If you are average, then average or below average is what you will be able to pull off. If you are ugly then probably only the less attractive girls will be down for it. If you are hot, its as simple as dont shoot urself in the foot.

Agree with Fairshake. You need a mindset shift. One that erases your "limiting beliefs about looks" and embraces the positives. The statement above that I quoted is simply factually incorrect and you are using it as an excuse instead of taking the responsibility for not being able to get a "hott" girlfriend.

Let me ask you this.....do you workout and keep track of your diet?

 

[DJFear]

Agree with Fairshake. You need a mindset shift. One that erases your "limiting beliefs about looks" and embraces the positives. The statement above that I quoted is simply factually incorrect and you are using it as an excuse instead of taking the responsibility for not being able to get a "hott" girlfriend.

Let me ask you this.....do you workout and keep track of your diet?

I dont think its limiting beliefs at all. Its reality. One of the annoying and unfortunate things about game and the pick up industry is that they try to sell you an illusion that if you do xyz you can get any girl. Simply not true.

Is it a limiting belief you wont be able to get a super model?? Become a milionaire? You have to be realistic about what you can and cant accomplish. My reality when it comes to getting girls can not be the same as it is someone who is 6'4, muscular, rich and good looking.

As for gym, I used to go but I stopped. I dont have motivation nor interest picking up heavy iron and seeing no gains month after month. Also, cant say I became more confident or more energetic when I used to go , if anything it drained me to a point I wanted to come back home and sleep.

Anyway I am not saying looks has to stop you. Just be realistic and know your limitations.

 

[TheException]

I dont think its limiting beliefs at all. Its reality. One of the annoying and unfortunate things about game and the pick up industry is that they try to sell you an illusion that if you do xyz you can get any girl. Simply not true.

This is true.....of people who SELL PRODUCTS. I am not selling you anything. I am willfully giving you knowledge for free.....from what do I have to gain?

Is it a limiting belief you wont be able to get a super model?? Become a milionaire? You have to be realistic about what you can and cant accomplish. My reality when it comes to getting girls can not be the same as it is someone who is 6'4, muscular, rich and good looking.

Yes.....those absolutely are limiting beliefs. If you dont think you are good enough to get a supermodel girlfriend...you wont. If you dont think you work hard enough to make a million dollars....you wont. Think about it....from the characteristics you listed, only height cannot be changed. Muscular and improve your looks? Workout and proper diet. Rich? Work your a$$ off and aspire to be rich. You dont get rich by being satisfied working some 9-5 job for 40k a year. You may need a mindset shift my friend.....but it is more than doable.

As for gym, I used to go but I stopped. I dont have motivation nor interest picking up heavy iron and seeing no gains month after month. Also, cant say I became more confident or more energetic when I used to go , if anything it drained me to a point I wanted to come back home and sleep

.
Well theres your problem.....you quit. Instead of quitting, you shouldve researched and found out WHY you arent getting results. I am a personal trainer and i guarantee you its either because of your workout plan or the diet( or lack of). Fitness is a science. There are ways of doing things that "almost 100% guarantee" some sort of results. If id have gone a month without results I would have been less than enthused myself.

 

[DJFear]

This is true.....of people who SELL PRODUCTS. I am not selling you anything. I am willfully giving you knowledge for free.....from what do I have to gain?


Yes.....those absolutely are limiting beliefs. If you dont think you are good enough to get a supermodel girlfriend...you wont. If you dont think you work hard enough to make a million dollars....you wont. Think about it....from the characteristics you listed, only height cannot be changed. Muscular and improve your looks? Workout and proper diet. Rich? Work your a$$ off and aspire to be rich. You dont get rich by being satisfied working some 9-5 job for 40k a year. You may need a mindset shift my friend.....but it is more than doable.

.
Well theres your problem.....you quit. Instead of quitting, you shouldve researched and found out WHY you arent getting results. I am a personal trainer and i guarantee you its either because of your workout plan or the diet( or lack of). Fitness is a science. There are ways of doing things that "almost 100% guarantee" some sort of results. If id have gone a month without results I would have been less than enthused myself.

I think its silly to have unrealistic goals and expectations. Its like the advice about looking in the mirror and telling yourself you are awesome, you are the best, but guess what? if you aint, you are just lying to yourself. But whatever makes you sleep better at night.

When it comes to gym, saying "quitting" is a bit strong. I just did not feel like it was benefiting me really. Maybe with better diet and dare I say supplements I would have gained a bit more muscle but I am not some fat unhealthy slob, yes my body can be better but its not in a bad shape.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Yes.....those absolutely are limiting beliefs. If you dont think you are good enough to get a supermodel girlfriend...you wont. If you dont think you work hard enough to make a million dollars....you wont.

Self-limiting beliefs are harmful. However, unrealistic expectations are harmful too. We all make fun of chicks who refuse to "settle" and wait for a knight in shining armour (tall, good looking, rich, etc.), so we shouldn't encourage men to have the same unrealistic expectations. Chasing after chicks who are out of your league leads to frustration and disappointment. Even if you manage to get one of those girls, she will have all the power in the relationship. And that's no way to live your life.

If you want higher grade women, you need to become a higher grade man...first. As Tony Montana said, first you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the woman.

 

[Yewki]

As for gym, I used to go but I stopped. I dont have motivation nor interest picking up heavy iron and seeing no gains month after month. Also, cant say I became more confident or more energetic when I used to go , if anything it drained me to a point I wanted to come back home and sleep.

This generally indicates one of two things. Either you've submitted to the concept you're a loser and thrown in the towel, or you're not superficial and don't care about your looks. Because you're superficial enough to strongly long for a hot girlfriend, it is therefore trivially true that... you've given up and like feeling sorry for yourself.

End of proof.

Get back in the damn gym and do it right this time.

 

[Jaylan]

Yes OP, looks do matter, but you have to maximize what youve naturally got. That means good dressing, good grooming, and staying fit. While you are right that most people date within their league, theres no reason to sit and fixate on it.

Yes average people tend to date average folks, and hot people date other hot people. But it is what it is. You can be hot too if you hit the gym hard (at least body wise)

The only reason you dont see gains in the gym is your not eating right or lifting properly. If you are getting enough calories and protein, while also lifting heavy enough (8 to 12 rep sets preferably), you should see gains.

 

[papawapa]

Read this book and come back and tell me that looks matter...
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1861977697

 

[Jaylan]

Read this book and come back and tell me that looks matter...
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1861977697

Lol, because dudes selling books having nothing to gain from pushing the myth right?

Why are people so against the idea that physical attraction (hence your physical appearance) matter a lot to both men and women when selecting a mate? Any of the older experienced posters will tell you this. Men and women for the most part pair up within their league.

Being in the gym and getting fit has shown me who women do and do not fawn over. So all guys should do themselves a favor and get fashionable clothing, learn to groom properly, and workout.

 

[JoeMarron]

If you want higher grade women, you need to become a higher grade man...first. As Tony Montana said, first you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the woman.

Yep. DJFear if you can't get truly hot/beautiful women then you simply aren't awesome enough yet. If you don't have the willpower to get to that level then give up the idea of getting these women. Don't use looks as an excuse. The fact that there is one ugly dude out there with a hot chick on his arm is proof enough that you can do it to. Sure it might be take more effort than its worth but that's up for you to decide.

 

[papawapa]

@Jaylan...The book chronicles a bunch of famous historical seducers. There is one in particular, can't remember his name, that was describes along the lines of being short, fat, and grotesque in appearance. He was from Italy or France and he ran with the aristocracy. He seduced many a rich noble's wives.


To the OP, don't get so hung up on looks. Open your eyes when you are out. I see hot women with ugly men all the time.

 

[Vice]

The RSD guys will tell you that looks don't matter at all, and then offer very convincing examples of grimy dudes that clean up left and right. But then they will offer the advice that you need to work on that stuff anyway because it helps.

I've personally noticed that girls are starting to pay more attention to look due to their status becoming more "equal" among men, especially as they earn more money and/or have the ability to earn more money.

 

[Maximus Rex]

But You Really Don't Want Hot Women

Thinking about this deeper, there is only so much one can do. Everyone has their own limitations. So to me "looks matter" is more about what type of girl you can attract. If you are average, then average or below average is what you will be able to pull off. If you are ugly then probably only the less attractive girls will be down for it. If you are hot, its as simple as dont shoot urself in the foot. end rant

You're attitude, mindset, demeanor, and philosophy are negative in nature. Suppose that you looked like Channing Tatum's identical twin? Do you think you would be able attract...better yet do you think you would be able to KEEP women with that deafest attitude. Rex severely doubts it because once you finally got the woman to return your affections, you would be a slavish valet who's purpose in life would be to fulfill her every whim and desire before she would even voice them. You're not getting women because among other thinks you lack confidence.

Also, you lack of confidence of has translated into a lack of approaching. In order to develop any type of proficiency in the pickup game, you have to be constantly approach women. By doing this, you'll notice patterns, patterns as to what works and what doesn't. You'll be able incorporate what's working into your personal game and eliminate the bad habits, and the reason why you're not getting 8's 9's and 10's is due to your lack of approaching when you do approach women, they're 5's, 6's, and an occasion 7. If you only approach hot women, guess what's what's going to happen? You'll eventually only engaging in coitus with hot women.

As for gym, I used to go but I stopped. I dont have motivation nor interest picking up heavy iron and seeing no gains month after month. Also, cant say I became more confident or more energetic when I used to go , if anything it drained me to a point I wanted to come back home and sleep. Anyway I am not saying looks has to stop you. Just be realistic and know your limitations.

There in lies your problem and it was profound Freudian slip. You don't want it bad enough. You're not willing to put in the work that's necessary to become proficient in getting women attracted to you.

You don't want to accept or you don't understand what you're trying to is a lifestyle change and there are many things about yourself you're going to have to change, you're wardrobe, your posture, how you talk, the mannerisms that you project, being assertive, constantly pushing the envelope with women.

You're not emotionally and mentally prepared to endure the learning curve, you can't handle the rejection, humiliation, insults, flakey behavior, tests of "fecal matter fortitude." Simply put, you want overnight success and that's not what's going to happen. With that being said, there's nothing Rex or anybody else on this site can recommend to you and even if we did, it's highly unlikely you'd take heed to our advice and put it into action.

You've accepted a life of mediocrity and essentially never achieving anything worthwhile or having much more than what you have now, so sad, but hey somebody has to buy groceries, change the oil on cars, be an exterminator or a bureaucratic with a local, state, or federal agency. In the meantime, Rex can recommend to you some excellent booty movie titles.

 

[backbreaker]

I'm going to ask you a very odd question but I bet I'm dead on becuase I had the same symptoms.


How often do you masturbate

 

[In2theGame]

I'm going to ask you a very odd question but I bet I'm dead on becuase I had the same symptoms.


How often do you masturbate

lol

 

[DJFear]

Suppose that you looked like Channing Tatum's identical twin? Do you think you would be able attract...better yet do you think you would be able to KEEP women with that deafest attitude.

Of course I would. Like I said the mentality, confidence swagger all those things are there BECAUSE hes Channing Tatum. There has to be a real reason for that. You can not ask an ordinary guy to have that mindset it just does not work. Its just lying to yourself.

If you only approach hot women, guess what's what's going to happen? You'll eventually only engaging in coitus with hot women.

No. Disagreed. If I approach ONLY hot women , I will get rejected 90% of the time. The other 10% I might get lucky. Thats not really gonna do much for my ability or my confidence at all. In fact I am pretty sure its gonna make me feel like crap about myself. Like I said, you need to be realistic with what you can or cant do, otherwise you will never really be satisfied with anything.

I'm going to ask you a very odd question but I bet I'm dead on becuase I had the same symptoms.


How often do you masturbate

What does that have to do with anything?? You can masturbate as much or as little as you want, it aint magically gonna make you super attractive or super ugly to women. The whole "dont masturbate challenge" is wayyy overblown. It has no impact on your game or your ability to attract women.

 

[Yewki]

What does that have to do with anything?? You can masturbate as much or as little as you want, it aint magically gonna make you super attractive or super ugly to women. The whole "dont masturbate challenge" is wayyy overblown. It has no impact on your game or your ability to attract women.

His point flew right over your head. When you masturbate a lot, you're more content to sit at home and not approach. YOU become more attractive when YOU are confident and natural with women... if you don't practice a lot, this will NOT happen.

You probably think you've put in a good effort to improve, but in reality you've given up early and cut yourself short.

Do you really think that's air you're breathing?

 

[E_Sex]

Of course I would. Like I said the mentality, confidence swagger all those things are there BECAUSE hes Channing Tatum. There has to be a real reason for that. You can not ask an ordinary guy to have that mindset it just does not work. Its just lying to yourself.

Dude, no offense, but you have no idea what you're talking about. The whole purpose of this site, isn't just to get women, it's to become the best you that you can be, and getting women is a side affect of being the best you. At least that's how I look at it. The problem being you're not interested in bettering yourself you're just interested in the women. It is terribly easy for a man to become more attractive in comparison to a woman, and it's a shame that you have it this much easier than woman and won't take the initiative to do it.

If you work out right and gain muscle mass, and lose fat you'll be more attractive.

If you exude confidence and actually believe that you're a cool dude, you'll be more attractive.

If you dress well, and have a nice haircut you'll be more attractive.

So many things you can do if you put in effort.

]
No. Disagreed. If I approach ONLY hot women , I will get rejected 90% of the time. The other 10% I might get lucky. Thats not really gonna do much for my ability or my confidence at all. In fact I am pretty sure its gonna make me feel like crap about myself. Like I said, you need to be realistic with what you can or cant do, otherwise you will never really be satisfied with anything.

Again, you only focus on the woman, you need to focus on yourself. Your problem is that you care about being rejected, who gives a damn. The only thing you said that is true is that any man cannot get any woman, and this is because people are different! Every girl is not going to like one guy no matter what. There's more girls out there, and them rejecting you is not going to hurt you. The more you approach the more you become desensitized to it, and you realize that in actuality nothing bad even happened to you.

What does that have to do with anything?? You can masturbate as much or as little as you want, it aint magically gonna make you super attractive or super ugly to women. The whole "dont masturbate challenge" is wayyy overblown. It has no impact on your game or your ability to attract women.

And this is soooo untrue, I can tell you first hand that more masturbation lowers your motivation. You lose your "edge" as some call it. I can tell you that a guy who masturbates three times a day prolly ain't gettin no poon, so tell me how that doesn't have to do with anything?