Looks like it's the end... and I feel a bit sad

[Master of the Universe]

Hi guys,

Well, it looks like it's over for my girl and I. What's really sad is that I was planning on writing this post as a success - that after all those girls I had found one that I want as an LTR.

Let's start from the beginning...

About a month or so ago I was having dinner with some friends in a Brazilian restaurant/lounge. As I was enjoying my meal, a couple of tables away, I saw this girl sitting with two guys. Now, I'm no believer in "love at first sight" or things of that nature. But the instant I saw her, I knew two things for sure:

1) I wanted her
2) I was going to get her

There was literally no doubt in my mind that she would be mine. She saw me looking at her and I smiled. She smiled back, and I had my confirmation - the game was over and she was already mine as far as I was concerned.

However I was in the middle of dinner with my friends and so I didn't approach her. Later on after dinner was over I planned on speaking with her, but by then she was on the dance floor dancing with some guy.

So I hung out with my friends and sarged the girls in the club, while simultaneously keeping an eye to make sure she hasn't left yet. About 12 in the morning my ride wants to go home, but the chick is still dancing.

I decided that I had to take extreme measures. So I got on the dance floor and walked slowly past her. When she caught my eye I smiled and waived at her. She smiled back and waved. I went between her and the guy dancing with her and started dancing with her. I'll be honest, I did feel bad about pulling that on the guy... but I guess all's fair in love and war.

Anyway, as we were dancing, I told her that I have a confession to make. She asked me what it was, and I replied that I think she is the most attractive girl in the place and that I had really wanted to get a chance to talk with her and get to find out about her, but that my ride was leaving right now, and I would like her number so that we can talk later.

She replied that she can't give me her number, but that if I give her my number she would call me (she explained later on the first date that she felt uncomfortable giving her number while her friends were there). After her pinky-swearing that she would call I gave her my number and left. Somehow I knew she would call.

A few days later she did, and we decided to get together the following Friday for dancing. I picked her up from her place around 8 pm, and we went dancing, and then hung out and talked.

Well, I almost always have a fun time on dates, and almost all girls that I do go out with also have a fun time, but this was one of the most enjoyable dates that I have ever had.

We clicked right off the bat. We both had funny and witty personalities, and everything just felt right. In fact, we had three different people comment on how we make such a wonderful couple. None of them believed us when we told them that it was our first date.

Before we knew it, we had been together seven hours. Even by my standards that was a pretty long date, but the time went by in a flash.

By the end of the second date (which was almost as long as the first) she was already calling me mi amore (my love) and I was calling her mi vida (my life).

The only bad thing about the situation was that she was a virgin (she was the one I wrote that post about concerning virgin girls). But the simple truth was that I enjoyed being with her to the extent that even if it did take months to finally make love, I had no problems.

Fast forward to last Wednesday.

I had went to Vegas with a mixed group of friends Monday and Tuesday and returned Wednesday night. It was a wild trip - those guys (and gals) partied hard. I almost didn't get any sleep, but it was a blast.

On my way home Wednesday night I picked her up around 10 pm so we could hang out together. I had missed her and when she got out of her door I just picked her up and twirled her around. We both laughed and kissed.

We went out for dinner to the same place we were the time before. The waitress sees us and says "here comes the love birds." We were seated and laughing and having a good time. The waitress comes and says that she just had to tell us that we make an amazing couple. She starts telling my girl how she wishes she would be in a relationship like ours, if even once in her life, etc.

However, as the dinner progressed, the girl was turning hot and cold on me. I felt that she was a bit jealous about me partying in Vegas without her there, but the simple truth is that I invited her to join us and she didn't want to go.

So for a bit she was quite, and I asked her what she was thinking. She says that she was wondering what it would take for me to be unfaithful. She kept on that vein of conversation for a few minutes, and to be honest I was finding it to be a bit of a turn off - I don't like insecurity in girls.

Since I didn't like the tone of the conversation, I just kept to myself and didn't speak with her. After a couple of minutes, she turns hot again, and says "mi amore!" And hugs me. We make out and laugh and have a good time.

Around 2 in the morning the restaurant closes and we leave. Across the street was a club and we could hear the music playing. So we started dancing in the street, and in between dances we would neck and kiss.

After a bit we get to the parking lot of the club, and the making out get heavier and heavier, and we were both on afterburner. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, she literally shoves me with both hands and walks away saying that she doesn't like anyone touching her breasts.

She went from scorching hot to freezing cold in a split millisecond.

Naturally I was as confused as hell and asked her what just happened. She replies that I was touching her breasts. I agreed that I was, and what's her point. She says that she doesn't like people touching her breasts, to which I replied that I don't like people pushing me, and that I was offended by her behavior.

I drove her back to her home without either one of us saying anything to each other. Once we arrived I walked her to her apartment without saying anything, and then told her "happy soon to be birthday. Goodbye," and shook her hand and started to walk away while she entered her home.

The whole time both of us were looking at each other. I could read the expression on her face and I have a feeling that I wore a similar expression - that of wondering if we will see each other again or if that was the end. Neither of us said that it was over, but the tone of my voice had a finality to it.

Well, I still don't know what happened in the parking lot, but it looks like things are over. I mean, if I did something wrong then I would have no problem apologizing. But the simple truth is that I did nothing wrong, and what's more is that I would do the same exact thing a hundred times over in the same situation.

Still, I can't help but feel a bit sad right now. I liked this girl more than any that I've met over the last two years. Such is life I guess...

A girl I was with a bit ago called me yesterday. Maybe I'll invite her over and drown my sorrow in some all night animalistic sex.

Oh yeah, so what was the point of this post? Beat's me... I guess I just wanted to share it with you my friends.

Master of the Universe

 

[kyokon]

sounds like she might just be jealous of the time you spent with your friends and not her. but even so it's a very childish way to react and if you get back on good terms with her (let her come to you I think would be the best idea?) you should make sure she knows that it was not fair on you. don't let it go with a 'no problem mi vida' kind of cop-out because I think you would regret that. precedent-setting issues like this should not just be swept under the carpet, or else you will have a very bumpy carpet later on.
btw is there some reason she wouldn't trust you going away with your buddies?

 

[( . )( . )]

yep you did nothing wrong, to overact like that i would say shes either a weirdo or immature.
either way life goes on.

give that chick who rang you yesterday an all nighter, who knows mi vida might show up in the morning for an apology only to see the other chick leaving your place walking funny, its a win win
stranger things have happened.

 

[Pancho]

Originally posted by Master of the Universe
Hi guys,

it's over for my girl and I.......on writing this post as a success - that after all those girls I had found one that I want as an LTR.

About a month or so ago......

Success story? AFTER A MONTH!!! *shakes head*

Im not going to berate you....you have been here long enough that you should know each and every one of your mistakes. This could have been a success story if you played it right and if you had dated her OVER A YEAR OR SOMETHING. You know the signs of oneitis.....this post reeks of it. You cant force a relationship...it has to come slowly and naturally (and preferably with sex before you commit, goddammit). This girl was NEVER "your girl".

Pancho

 

[Señor Fingers]

dang that sux MOTU!

girl definitely has issues, so best to find out now as opposed to later.

some red flags I noticed:

1. She wouldn't give you her number in front of her friends. I understand if a girl wont make out with you in front of her peoples, but COME ON! (fragile self image)

2. She gave you a hard time for having fun without her (immature!)

3. She's a virgin (religious, repressed, or something...also depends on her age)

4. She freaked out over 2nd Base. She doesn't like anyone touching her breasts? (sexual issues, possibly abused)

It's a shame, sounds like she was a cool girl and maybe she will come around, but it sounds like she has serious intimacy issues and needs to grow up.

If she does call you up, proceed with caution! and keep an eye out for more red flags.

Hope everything else is all good

Much love to Cali

and I'm out!

-----------> Señor Fingers

p.s.- like my new screen name?

 

[Santos]

I don't think you did anything wrong either. Seeing that she's a virgin, she might be a little uncomfortable with anything sexual. Maybe she hasn't dated a lot of guys. It sounds like you two got on great. If I were you, I'd give her the impression that she has lost you (i.e. don't call her/see her for about a week). If she felt the chemistry like you did, she'll regret what she did/said and you'll get a call from her apologising for what she did as well as an explanation on why she did it (the explanation probablly won't be the truth).

If you don't hear from her for about a week then call her up, if you really want to date someone that uptight (no offence, just saying it'd be odd NOT to hear from her).

Just my two cents
Santos

 

[Pancho]

Originally posted by ( . )( . )
yep you did nothing wrong, to overact like that i would say shes either a weirdo or immature.
either way life goes on.

give that chick who rang you yesterday an all nighter, who knows mi vida might show up in the morning for an apology only to see the other chick leaving your place walking funny, its a win win
stranger things have happened.

What do you mean he did nothing wrong?!! He was calling this girl "mi vida" after one damn date. A date that lasted way too long. He was way too into her........its okay to feel it inside, but you gotta rein the horses in when your with the girl.

Yes, this girl seems a little immature....but he could have played it a little better.

Don't worry MOTU...you will find another girl......just do ol' Pancho a big favour and dont call her "my life" until after you...

a) banged her

b)dated her for more than three or four dates

c)have known her for over a month!!

Pancho

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by Pancho
What do you mean he did nothing wrong?!! He was calling this girl "mi vida" after one damn date.

LOL i was actually referring to him coming on to her in the parking lot.

but yeah i cringed a little at that too, Im usually the first one rolling eyes when i hear stuff like that, but if you read MOTU earlier stuff he seems well capable i give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Slickster]

Motu was bitten by the love bug. It happens, probably cuz she was smoking hot in his eyes.

A lesson learned don't ever let your feelings get out of control like this. No matter how great things seem. When everything just seems SO right even the littlest negative thing can bring it all crashing down. You build up this perfect idea in your head and the first sign that its not, its over.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Some girls like having their breasts touched, and some don't. However, girls from both of those categories are fully aware that guys -- by their very nature -- will attempt to touch their breasts once things start heating up. This is not a big surprise to most girls.

That being said, her reaction to you was completely off-base. If she had some sort of "no-breast-touching" rule, she should have informed you of it BEFORE things got hot and heavy and she was shoving you across a parking lot. More likely than not, this girl was sexually abused in her childhood, and now hates having her breasts touched (and maybe hates other things, too).

This is unfortunate, of course, because it's obviously not her fault, but it certainly isn't your fault either. She has issues she needs to work on before she can be happy with anyone. As much as it sucks, letting her go is the best thing to do here.

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Funny that it's only been a few get-togethers, but I'm almost sure that your interactions with her in the future would always be this way. Really hot then suddenly cold, moving forward only to be pushed back, lots of fun and then depressing. But it does sound like you had a lot more fun with her than those few push-back times.

And it doesn't sound like you were your normal fun and romantic self with this girl all the time.

Turning quiet when she asked the inevitable question that all chicks ask in some form, the "will you cheat on me?" question was not your normal self. But it may not have been a mistake because she recognized that your quiet answer was a "no."

And its not unknown for a virgin to push a guy back when he's trying to steal the next base. You were already at first base, going for second with the breasts and she just tagged you out. Its nothing to get really upset about and you should have been prepared for that. If you're willing to wait for your next at-bat, you can try to steal again. Then you're going to have to go for third and she'll probably block that base as well. Virgins do not allow inside the park home runs on bunts. If you're willing, you need to be persistent at the plate.

But it does seem like it will be like this with this girl on all your get-togethers. Be prepared for that and the Virgin ASD and be persistent or move on. I'm guessing she will call you or you will call her again. It will be awkward for a while since the last date ended a little badly, but you can make up for it.

On the other hand, the other babe sounds like a lot more fun (lol.)

 

[icepick]

Hey MOTU, here is what I would do.

It seems to me like she has some 'issues' that she needs to deal with. Also, you guys seem pretty close.

I would give her a call, like:

"Look, I am not that mad at you. I am just a little confused. If you want to talk to me about anything, you have my number."

You probably want to let her know that you are mad, but trying to stifle it for her sake, and confused. She KNOWS that what she did was strange, I am sure. You show her that you aren't going to let your anger at her spill out of control, so she can let you in on the 'secrets' of her life that cause her to act this strange way.

Of course you know it is all up to her now. Her problems, not yours. Fill the time by finding some other girls.

I like this quote:

"For every love that dies, a new one is born."

 

[akindofblue]

There has been some solid advice on here, but dude, the issue isn't that she is a virgin. The issue is that she hasn't decided to give up her virginity or perhaps that she has decided to keep it. If either of the two are the case, of course she is going to shove you off of her. That's not necessarily sexual repression so much as it is sexual repression on a timeline.

I don' t know if I would conclude that she has been abused at this point. From what it sounds like, she has been physically intimate (e.g. letting you pick her up and twirl her around). If she had been abused, that might have flipped her out.

 

[white_hype]

you did nothing wrong

this girl was sexually abused as a child, i can almost guarantee this (i used to listen to love line a lot)

i would ask her why that is such a big problem for her and she will probably just get mad and say CAUSE I DONT LIKE IT

or some bs like that

you could keep asking her why and ask aobut her childhood etc and she will eventually break down

personally i dont think this chick is worth it unless you like her that much and want to spend the next year being her "father figure" and treating her a like a child, cause i bet she will be seriously attached to you after this

 

[white_hype]

lol when i read this title i thought you were getting married

lol

 

[Nicholas Hill]

Hey MotU - Nick here

Good to hear from you again. In fact, I am in a contemplative mood, because I leave for university in five days once again.

I have only "existed" for the past thirteen weeks. I have helped many guys over that time via setting up the chat room, creating the polished version of your boot camp (which has sparked many guys to try it) and updating the DJB, but accomplished little in my love life during my time off between University years. I'm so glad that I will be entering my field again, this time for my final year.

Because its you, let me share a similar experience with a girl I consider special.

I was in holiday - and in fact it was a Christian conference - with 12,000 other worshippers. Meeting people in such a place was so easy, and at the same time, I had no ulterior motives. There was this one girl who I also "knew" I could be suave around her and the greatest thing of all about that was the knowledge that SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL YET I WAS NOT INTIMIDATED. After many years, that was a first.

I'm sure you're pleased with your successes as well over the years. Do you intend to marry at all? If you do, then I look forward to the days me and you can say we've finally settled down with a great girl and accomplished that which all men more or less aim for - to find the one.

All the best!

Nick

 

[Master of the Universe]

UPDATE

Hi guys, as this has been almost three months now, I thought I'd post an update.

Let's see... last time we checked in my chick and I had parted after she pushed me while I was going for second base.

I didn't contact here for about a week or so, and then decided to call her one night on her birthday.

When she heard me on the line, she started saying how happy she was, and she's about to cry, and that she was checking her voice mail every 5 minutes hoping that I would call her.

We made plans to hang out a few days later, and everything went great. And as far as her pulling moves like this again, she never has.

The interesting thing was what happened about a month after that... I fell for her HARD!

Not only did I fall in love with her, I was actually obsessed. I couldn't work, eat, or sleep. Even when I was infatuated with a girl in the past, I never felt that way, or to that extreme.

Honestly guys, it was so bad that I actually thought about breaking up with her so I could move on with my life.

Fortunately, Blitz, SexPDX, Jake Steed, Prosemont, and Cesare Cardinali made me realize that this is something that everyone goes through, and that it's actually something that I should embrace, not run away from. Thanks guys!

About a month ago, I told her that I want her to be my girlfriend, and about a week or so ago I told her that I love her... if Doc Love was dead he'd probably be rolling in his grave right now. Hahaha. The interesting thing was saying those three little words was one of the most difficult things that I have ever done. Go figure...

So what's going to happen in the future? Beats me. All I know is that I'm experiencing new things everyday, and learning more about myself than I had ever before.

Maybe this will be a fairy tale come true, maybe I'll get my heart put through a meat grinder... either way it's one hell of an adventure.

Master of the Universe

 

[( . )( . )]

im not too clear on this, have you banged her?

if the answers no then all this talk of love and rekindling the past flames etc, ALL counts for a big fat nothing , zero , nought.

 

[Master of the Universe]

Nope, I haven't banged her.

Believe it or not, I'm enjoying the journey. I have no doubt that sex will happen... I'm in no rush.

MotU

 

[MVPlaya]

Originally posted by Master of the Universe
Nope, I haven't banged her.

Believe it or not, I'm enjoying the journey. I have no doubt that sex will happen... I'm in no rush.

MotU

MotU,

I'm happy for you. Right now, all of as AFC's are trying to become the DJ's so that we can play women, but ultimately, most really look for that one chick we really want (till then, of course, we'll settle for sex), but you know something, you've found someone. And you should be happy. There were some AFC'ish things that happened on the first date that some could not imagine doing, but you know, women are different, and you got one that you like. However, do beware of red flags, she does seem a little taken aback, she seems a little fragile because she pushed you of her and then wants you back, so beware, but you know, its good to experience those emotions again. Except this time from the driver seat...