I had a really big, long, helpful response typed up, but then I went back and read some more of the OP's posts in this thread and I just deleted it. Because I realized that he's too firmly locked into his current reality for anything we say to be of any help to him. He has literally convinced himself that looks hold the key to his happiness and he is actively shooting down everything anyone says to the contrary without stopping to really consider it. But to his credit, he has taken the first step by coming here. Which is good.
OP, I wish you the best. I invite you to stay here and soak up all the knowledge of the community. There is a lot of great stuff here. But what I hope you will come to realize is that in order to get the results you want, a change must happen inside of you. You must be willing to let go of your current mindset and your current reality in order to become what you want to become.