Looks Debate: Female Perspective

[milrenkb]

All right, so after taking a long look at the last thread concering this issue I came to the conclusion that using an opinion opener could finally serve an actual purpose.

So as a result I created a female SN on Yahoo Answers and asked the question "Ladies Only: On a scale of 1-10 how important is a guys looks?" (women naturally are more trusting of other women). Anyway heres what I got.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/?...brMKel0AUR_sWov6bs_Q6OFJGI5V7Q--&msgr_status=

 

[DJinTraining06]

you can' go by what women say. Only their actions mean anything. So this poll is bogus in my opinion. Women would love to beleive their not shallow. But they r just as shallow as us guys. hell there's nothin wrong with it. we're animals with desires and we can't change what we like. We have 1 life to live, who wants to waste it with someone they're not attracted to? If u find out eventually u cant get what u want u may settle, but lets put it this way, the girl that goes out with the ugly guy with a great sense of humor, if given the opportunity originally to date an exact clone of his personality on a male model body, she would never choose the ugly one. people who say looks dont matter r either very good looking or very very ugly. People settle. Doesn't mean that they the hot girl doesnt lvoe her ugly man to death now, but thats not wat she originally preferred.

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Well this chick was honest lol :

" Very important 10.

If he's not hot I wouldn't consider "dating" him. I don't care how intelligent he is or what a great "personality" he has or what a great dancer he is etc. In short if he is not up to my physical standards but possesses all the other fine qualities he will be forever in the friend zone.

To all those chicks who say personality is more important, I gurantee a guy isn't looking at or dating YOU soley for your great personality "

You cant change your look, but you can change your appearance. We are all like playdough, you can change how your face is but you can work with it. Look your best, deal with what u got, if u are at your PERSONAL best, then the way your face is wont matter, work with what ya got. Not the best analogy but whatever Im not putting much effort into a looks thread anyway

A good line from a song I have went like this :
"... Keep your physical being in the best condition possible it could be in"
Pay attention to how he worded that, 'best condition possible it could be in' If ya fat, work with what ya got, look the best you can, until u can change your weight

 

[Nighthawk]

"Very important 10.

If he's not hot I wouldn't consider "dating" him. I don't care how intelligent he is or what a great "personality" he has or what a great dancer he is etc. In short if he is not up to my physical standards but possesses all the other fine qualities he will be forever in the friend zone.

To all those chicks who say personality is more important, I gurantee a guy isn't looking at or dating YOU soley for your great personality "

How many women refer to other women as chicks? Or use the term 'friend zone'? I smell a rat, though I agree that women will play down the importance of looks to appear deep.

 

[afc_2_dj]

I agree, women still pretend this stereo-type of "men want looks, women not" is in force.

So whilst I agree with DJinTraining06, the results are bogus, they are pretty scary considering the number of 7's that appear. If they are under-rating, it would indicate looks are even more important to women than we thought [not that that comes as a suprise to me!].

people who say looks dont matter r either very good looking

agreed, to them its not an issue because it has no effect on their success. Those of us less fortunate feel the impact before we even get a chance to expose our other attributes [ no, not that attribute!! ]. Like the rich guys who run around saying money isn't important in life, I never hear that from the guys standing at the traffic lights.

until u can change your weight

This seems to be a common "misconnception" floating round, every time somebody brings up looks, someone says "well hit the gym, loose weight and you'll be fine". Its not always weight, often one has bad bone-structure/thin hair/etc making your facial features unattractive, negating an athletic build. So its not a matter of "loose weight/get a new hair style and suddenly be good-looking", its a "genetic flaw" that won't vanish with a new wardrobe/etc


Strange the number of looks threads that have suddenly popped up.....

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Strange the number of looks threads that have suddenly popped up.....

- Yeah its like a rash, they wont go away.
- Its like news about Paris Hilton, the first story was fine, but we dont need to be hearing about her everyday.
- Its like the chicken and the egg question, everyone will have different opinions, and yet people still ask anyway.
- Its like hearing the new hit song on the radio, the first few times are fine, but after awhile you get sick of hearing it on every station.

Do I need to go on? Or do people still not get the meanings of what I'm saying? :crackup:

*edit* man Im bored today, never posted so much in 1 day before

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I do not agree with the one who said the results are "bogus". I actually think the results mean a lot. There is a fairly well known study where women were put on a lie detector (a fake one, but they didn't know that) and asked how many partners they had. The ones who thought they were on the lie detector consistently gave much higher answers than those who did not think they were on a lie detector test. Sure maybe the sample size may have not been quite big enough and variations in partners naturally occurs, but it still says something when the results are consistent.

Given that, the girls if anything, are downplaying the importance of looks to look "cool" and "mature" and "holier than thou because I am not superficial like you". Add 2-3 points to all answers they gave. Completely ignore the ones who say "looks don't matter at all, even if he had a lot of acne, blah blah blah".

You know what? I used to have a lot of acne. Girls never looked at me twice. I am mostly clear now and I get checked out from time to time.

Looks don't matter? BULLSH1T.

One more thing. I knew a girl who said she dates "ugly" guys and doesn't care too much how they look like. Let's call her girl A. Oh really? Guess what. I spoke to a mutual friend (call her girl B) and girl B told me a story about herself and girl A going to a bar and getting slightly drunk. Girl A was hit on by a guy and she gave him her phone number. The next day, girl B told me girl A asked about what happened and if the guy was hot because she was drunk and the lighting was bad.

CAUGHT IN A LIE! Again, looks don't matter? BULLSH1T!

Experince. No theory.

peace

 

[DonJuanForever]

You're kidding me? Lol.

"hot" to a chick is based more on the guy's attitude, "lOOK" and behavior. I said "LOOK" not "LOOKS." His style, his behavoir, his self....not his azz size, bicep size...how cute his face is.

Fvck it. Believe whatever the fvck you guys want...I get laid, I don't have to prove shyt to you guys.

I'm no longer participating in this bullshyt.

 

[qweretyuiopas]

I'm no longer participating in this bullshyt.

If only more members would say that, I hope ya mean it though

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

You're kidding me? Lol.

"hot" to a chick is based more on the guy's attitude, "lOOK" and behavior. I said "LOOK" not "LOOKS." His style, his behavoir, his self....not his azz size, bicep size...how cute his face is.

Fvck it. Believe whatever the fvck you guys want...I get laid, I don't have to prove shyt to you guys.

I'm no longer participating in this bullshyt.

You what? I would LOVE to see you eat your words if you tried your "game" with a face full of cystic acne.

Do you honestly think that would not affect how a girl perceives you at all? Be as "bad boy" as you want in attitude, a girl will turn her head in disgust.

If you really had a problem that significantly and negatively affected your looks, you would see how blind you are. All you're doing now is vomitting the crap that is spread by these "gurus" and certain articles on sosuave. No real experience with problems significantly affecting your looks. I speak from experience. I have seen the difference. Girls sometimes approach ME now. Before, they NEVER, EVER would give me a chance, regardless of attitude.

Why do some girls ALWAYS gravitate to guys who are 6 foot+? (these girls are a dime a dozen where I am from, especially small asian girls) I am sure it is ALL attitude and the consistent height factor is purely a coincidence that occurs time and time again.

 

[everywomanshero]

I know a very hot, slim woman with a Master's Education right now who is dating a totally ugly and boring man. To make matters worse, he has an average job, no family or friends, not even a pet.

It really doesn't make any difference what 50.1% of women do in this regard to looks. I find "looks" to a woman often means how a guy is dressed and wearing his hair, anyway. Like an otherwise good looking guy who dresses like ****** Clever with bright-white shoes and "nice boy" hairstyle probably won't be considered attractive. Worrying about height or facial structure is counterproductive unless you are in a position of considering hormones or surgery.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I know a very hot, slim woman with a Master's Education right now who is dating a totally ugly and boring man. To make matters worse, he has an average job, no family or friends, not even a pet.

Ah yes...the classic counter example of some mythical, mysterious "ugly" man who somehow gets the hot girl. I have worked in downtown Toronto for 1 year. I must have passed by 100s of couples. I have not seen this mythical sasquatch man who somehow gets playboy bunnies. Hot girls are with good/decent looking guys in the 100s of couples I have seen.

If you focus on the ONE person who won the lottery, the odds of winning it will seem artificially better, but the odds are still 1 in 100 million.

Just to debunk this crappy counter argument (if you can call it that) to the looks debate, I have found these points to be true:

1) Often, the guy who spots this mythical sasquatch is jealous and underrates the guy in looks. (just by the tone of your writing I can even sense the jealousy you have for this guy).

2) You are a guy. You don't fvck this guy. SHE does. Guys do not always see the same things as girls do when it comes to looks. Girls go for different looks. Just because YOU do not find him attractive physically, it does not mean she doesn't.

Go up to this girl and ask her if she thinks her man is ugly. Ask her if it is purely his "game/attitude" that attracted her, but besides that he is an ugly mutt.

The looks debate is whether the girl must find the guy at least somewhat physically attractive. Not whether YOU think the guy is physically attractive. Your opinion of his looks does not matter. Hers does. She fvcks him. Not you. Try fvcking someone you find physically repelling.

 

[everywomanshero]

Dude, it was my girl who pointed them out to me originally. Some women just really don't give a rat's ass about looks. Especially, as women get older they don't care as much and sometimes abused women will tend to care less in my experience, but you can find some in all age brackets and walks of life.

The problem most men have is becoming hermits and using excuses like looks. I will admit women didn't approach me much when I dressed like a tool and just didn't care (years of being tied down with kids from one MILF to the next will do that to ya!), but outside of that I still got chicks, hell, I never even thought about it I was just always in a relationship. I think we are usually way better off than we realize. Also, I believe many men (or at least I used to) tend to think the dating world is much kinder to women than it really is. All those YEARS of hoping that sitting next to, dressing up for, and **** will land her a "good catch". Women don't say "they're all taken" for no reason. They have lots of problems finding and keeping men. Some of these women get tired of the BS and will look for features other than looks, some just do that naturally, and others are a pain in the ass. I really don't focus on the women I wouldn't be interested in anyway.

 

[Bonhomme]

The only way to really tell is to see what kind of guys the women are actually dating.

Based on my observation, people usually date others who are more-or-less at their level of appearance, but there are a lot of exceptions.

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

By NightHawk:

How many women refer to other women as chicks? Or use the term 'friend zone'? I smell a rat, though I agree that women will play down the importance of looks to appear deep

I agree totally. All of the resposes were "1 day ago", and the tone of the writing was similar in most cases. Besides, my experiences have taught me to pay attention to actions (or reactions as the case may be), much less to words.....

 

[Bonhomme]

Yeah, otherwise how could women keep up that whole "You men are so-o-o-o-o shallow" shtick?

 

[DJinTraining06]

Hey, I have horrible acne, i agree with u 100%. I took accutane and was clear for a year and a half. Completely clear. Girls for the first time in my life, were really receptive to me, got looks all the time, got flirted with, even asked out by 2 girls i just met. Ugly girls liked me in the past plenty of them, but never decent looking ones, ever. Ever see the movie awakenings with Robin Williams, where he gives deniro that cure to get him out of his coma but it didnt last long. Well i feel like that. For 1 1/2 yrs i was myself. My face was visible, im actually a really good looking guy ive been told (when clear). But now my acne has now come back, it is absolutely disgusting. Girls dismiss me now it seems. I even forget i have em soemtimes so its not a confidence issue, and they still dont want me. Funny thing is girls i knew a few months ago when i was still clear used to seem flirty with me, now their r very very brief with me. Im startin the accutane again now and im gonna test this theory once and for all. I bet i go right back to having an easy time picking up girls. This may be a total hallucination but my acne came back slightly in march and a little worse in april and me and my gf were fighting alot all of a sudden. She seemed upset al the time and is if she was losing interest in me. By May acne was major, and she dumped me cuz she said their was no spark anymore. Out of the blue. this girl was crazy about me and dumped me coincidentally right when i had my worsts cysts and scars on my face. Coincidence or is there somethin to this? By the way wat do u do for ur acne, i'd love some advice cuz as im sure u know it sucks.

You know what? I used to have a lot of acne. Girls never looked at me twice. I am mostly clear now and I get checked out from time to time.




peace[/QUOTE]

 

[BluEyes]

10 being most important 1 being least important ......... 4

Looks are not very important, over time looks will fade and it's all the other charactristics that you live with for 50-60 years... So attitude, morals, humor, intellgence, courtesy, truthfulness, trustworthyness etc... Are much more crucial to a long lasting relationship...

Attractive men are like paintings in a museum, great to look at but that doesn't mean I want to bring them home and hang them on the wall forever....

That one cracks me up. I can picture her now...A bookworm who never speaks unless spoken to, in bed before 10, writes in her diary every night, goes to church with a passion...ugh, either that or she's already 60 yrs old.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Hey, I have horrible acne, i agree with u 100%. I took accutane and was clear for a year and a half. Completely clear. Girls for the first time in my life, were really receptive to me, got looks all the time, got flirted with, even asked out by 2 girls i just met. Ugly girls liked me in the past plenty of them, but never decent looking ones, ever. Ever see the movie awakenings with Robin Williams, where he gives deniro that cure to get him out of his coma but it didnt last long. Well i feel like that. For 1 1/2 yrs i was myself. My face was visible, im actually a really good looking guy ive been told (when clear). But now my acne has now come back, it is absolutely disgusting. Girls dismiss me now it seems. I even forget i have em soemtimes so its not a confidence issue, and they still dont want me. Funny thing is girls i knew a few months ago when i was still clear used to seem flirty with me, now their r very very brief with me. Im startin the accutane again now and im gonna test this theory once and for all. I bet i go right back to having an easy time picking up girls. This may be a total hallucination but my acne came back slightly in march and a little worse in april and me and my gf were fighting alot all of a sudden. She seemed upset al the time and is if she was losing interest in me. By May acne was major, and she dumped me cuz she said their was no spark anymore. Out of the blue. this girl was crazy about me and dumped me coincidentally right when i had my worsts cysts and scars on my face. Coincidence or is there somethin to this? By the way wat do u do for ur acne, i'd love some advice cuz as im sure u know it sucks.

You know what? I used to have a lot of acne. Girls never looked at me twice. I am mostly clear now and I get checked out from time to time.




peace

[/QUOTE]


I feel where you are coming from. I took accutane as well. It is dangerous stuff and I had to stop taking it for health reasons.

The only solution I have found is through diet. However, you also need a topical solution...at least temporarily.

I am going to post what I found worked for me in the health and fitness forum....with evidence backing up my theory. Check for it there later. I am just delaying it for now because I want to wait longer just to make sure what I am doing is working 100%. I don't want to give advice that I do not feel ABSOLUTELY confident about....but for now it is working great for me.

 

[MetalFortress]

I took accutane in the eighth grade, and it cleared stuff up for me for good. Getting out in the sun more is what kept it off - notice those who have real bad acne are usually real pale, too. A little sun goes a long way towards skin health.