Hello there everyone. I’ve lurked around here for a while and decided to finally post up a thread seeking some help. I’ll warn you guys ahead of time this may be a little long, and it’s about my ex. We’ve been broken up and since then I’ve been having great success with women using the techniques on this forum. This place is awesome. I’m just having a little trouble applying them here and figured I’d put this up and see what you guys think.
My ex and I had been together for a little over 5 years. We’re in our mid twenties. We talked about moving in together and getting married and we were pretty serious. Around the beginning of this year I made a mistake (it wasn’t cheating, but it’s a long story) and we broke up. It wasn’t a bad breakup where there was yelling and hate or anything like that. She made the decision and said she just wanted to be apart.
This lasted about a month, then we started chatting again around early March. We decided to take things slow and work on us. Well that lasted until June and she said she needed some space and thought it’d be best if we didn’t talk for a while. She said since we’ve been in each other’s lives so long she didn’t really know what it was like without me and she needed to be apart from me “for a serious amount of time” to see how she felt. At this point I was fed up and just told her that’s fine if she wants space she can have it.
A “serious amount of time” apart turned into about two weeks, and she contacted me again. I was short and nonchalant with her. She asked to meet up for drinks and catch up, I said sure that’s fine. So we went out to get some drinks, had a good time and everything seemed great. Then about a week later (texting off and on in between) I said we should go to a movie, to which she excitedly agreed. We went out and she was all over me. Cuddling in the theater, holding hands on the ride home, etc. Then we got back to my place and start watching another movie, which led to sex. She ended up spending the night, we had amazing sex a couple more times, and she was telling me how she missed me and just being very affectionate. So we started talking and hanging out and consistently sleeping with each other again. We didn’t label anything or specifically say we were “working on us” or anything like that. Just going with the flow. Since we weren’t exclusive or labeling anything, I also went out with other women. I obviously didn’t tell my ex about this.
This went on until about 2 weeks ago. She said she wanted space again and admitted it was in part due to her wanting to see where things go with a male friend of hers who had been out of the country for most of the year, and was going to be coming back soon. They’d started talking again apparently. She said she felt like she should give it a chance with this guy and she knows that if she’s still talking to me and seeing me there’s no way someone else will have a fair shot. Again I was very “whatever” about the situation and told her to do what she felt like she needed to do. She said this time she meant it when she said we won’t be talking for a while and she needed some serious space and didn’t want any contact. I said that’s fine and it’ll probably be good for us regardless of how it turns out.
Ever since then I’ve been dating other women and just going out and focusing on me. Then today she called. She said she’d been thinking about me and decided to call and see how I was doing. I kept the convo light and positive, while she spent most of it talking about how stressful things were going to get with work and now college and her internship starting. I kept things short but polite, and told her I had to get going because I was about to go to the gym (which I was). We hung up and now I’m a little confused. I don’t really know how to handle this. Regardless of how flaky she’s been this year, I still love her very much and would like to ultimately get back together. But only on my terms. I’m tired of her being such a flake. So what should I do here?
SIDE NOTE: This guy she told me she wanted to “give a chance” is very unattractive. I’m a male model, and I’m not trying to talk myself up here but I just am having a hard time wrapping my head around why she would even give this other guy a shot. She’s beautiful. An 8/10. He’s slightly overweight (not fat but in that soft, out of shape way) and keeps a scruffy short beard, etc. I keep myself in great shape and just generally try to take care of my appearance. She admits to this day that she’s never been more attracted to a guy than she is to me. Our physical relationship is electric, so I have that going strongly in my favor. It’s just always been one of those situations where even if she says she hates me, the minute we’re in each other’s physical presence we end up starting things up again/sleeping together. Thought it was worth mentioning and factoring into the equation.
Anyway thanks so much for reading guys. Sorry it was so long. I've never had a problem picking up women, but my ex has always been "that girl" that gives me problems.
My ex and I had been together for a little over 5 years. We’re in our mid twenties. We talked about moving in together and getting married and we were pretty serious. Around the beginning of this year I made a mistake (it wasn’t cheating, but it’s a long story) and we broke up. It wasn’t a bad breakup where there was yelling and hate or anything like that. She made the decision and said she just wanted to be apart.
This lasted about a month, then we started chatting again around early March. We decided to take things slow and work on us. Well that lasted until June and she said she needed some space and thought it’d be best if we didn’t talk for a while. She said since we’ve been in each other’s lives so long she didn’t really know what it was like without me and she needed to be apart from me “for a serious amount of time” to see how she felt. At this point I was fed up and just told her that’s fine if she wants space she can have it.
A “serious amount of time” apart turned into about two weeks, and she contacted me again. I was short and nonchalant with her. She asked to meet up for drinks and catch up, I said sure that’s fine. So we went out to get some drinks, had a good time and everything seemed great. Then about a week later (texting off and on in between) I said we should go to a movie, to which she excitedly agreed. We went out and she was all over me. Cuddling in the theater, holding hands on the ride home, etc. Then we got back to my place and start watching another movie, which led to sex. She ended up spending the night, we had amazing sex a couple more times, and she was telling me how she missed me and just being very affectionate. So we started talking and hanging out and consistently sleeping with each other again. We didn’t label anything or specifically say we were “working on us” or anything like that. Just going with the flow. Since we weren’t exclusive or labeling anything, I also went out with other women. I obviously didn’t tell my ex about this.
This went on until about 2 weeks ago. She said she wanted space again and admitted it was in part due to her wanting to see where things go with a male friend of hers who had been out of the country for most of the year, and was going to be coming back soon. They’d started talking again apparently. She said she felt like she should give it a chance with this guy and she knows that if she’s still talking to me and seeing me there’s no way someone else will have a fair shot. Again I was very “whatever” about the situation and told her to do what she felt like she needed to do. She said this time she meant it when she said we won’t be talking for a while and she needed some serious space and didn’t want any contact. I said that’s fine and it’ll probably be good for us regardless of how it turns out.
Ever since then I’ve been dating other women and just going out and focusing on me. Then today she called. She said she’d been thinking about me and decided to call and see how I was doing. I kept the convo light and positive, while she spent most of it talking about how stressful things were going to get with work and now college and her internship starting. I kept things short but polite, and told her I had to get going because I was about to go to the gym (which I was). We hung up and now I’m a little confused. I don’t really know how to handle this. Regardless of how flaky she’s been this year, I still love her very much and would like to ultimately get back together. But only on my terms. I’m tired of her being such a flake. So what should I do here?
SIDE NOTE: This guy she told me she wanted to “give a chance” is very unattractive. I’m a male model, and I’m not trying to talk myself up here but I just am having a hard time wrapping my head around why she would even give this other guy a shot. She’s beautiful. An 8/10. He’s slightly overweight (not fat but in that soft, out of shape way) and keeps a scruffy short beard, etc. I keep myself in great shape and just generally try to take care of my appearance. She admits to this day that she’s never been more attracted to a guy than she is to me. Our physical relationship is electric, so I have that going strongly in my favor. It’s just always been one of those situations where even if she says she hates me, the minute we’re in each other’s physical presence we end up starting things up again/sleeping together. Thought it was worth mentioning and factoring into the equation.
Anyway thanks so much for reading guys. Sorry it was so long. I've never had a problem picking up women, but my ex has always been "that girl" that gives me problems.
