Looking for mentor: Any dudes in mid-40's that are killing it?

[skipfontaine22]

Any dudes out there killing it in the dating game?
I am back on the scene after a long time off and its a bit intimating for me.
I have a lot going for me but I just feel like not enough.

I am a successful entpreneur and would happily help coach you in that area if you could help me in the world of dating.
Thanks a lot.

 

[Borknagar]

Give me a few months. 44 and only recently back in. Very rusty and hitting the gym again.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Was in a similar situation not that long ago. Middle aged guy suddenly back in the game after being out for a long time. Figure out your SMV. You’ll get an idea of it soon enough. one way or another Choose a strategy (game if you will) that matches your SMV. Perhaps a bit more difficult: Try and gage what others view you as and what you ‘are’. There may be a disconnect and you’ll have to realize and adjust.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I'm not at that age range but I got people in my dms' older than that , former DJ's tryin to make a comeback. If you need any advice or want to jump on a call, lmk. I think dudes in their 40's have a great chance at enjoying a variety of pu55y.

 

[skipfontaine22]

Give me a few months. 44 and only recently back in. Very rusty and hitting the gym again.

Oh weird I am in MN too. Minneapolis.

 

[Borknagar]

Oh weird I am in MN too. Minneapolis.

Nice, how long have you been doing this? Curious what the downtown and uptown scenes have been. It's been over 10 years so not sure how it's changed. Sneaky Pete's, and if I drank too much then the strip club next door since it's open until 4

 

[skipfontaine22]

Nice, how long have you been doing this? Curious what the downtown and uptown scenes have been. It's been over 10 years so not sure how it's changed. Sneaky Pete's, and if I drank too much then the strip club next door since it's open until 4

Uptown kinda went to sh1t.
Downtown too.
Its mostly North Loop for me.

I've been going out for years but I've was in a LTR for about 5-6.

 

[Borknagar]

Uptown kinda went to sh1t.
Downtown too.
Its mostly North Loop for me.

I've been going out for years but I've was in a LTR for about 5-6.

I see Wild Bills is like going to a small town bar now. It's Cowboy Jack's in Bloomington the same way now too? Downtown and uptown were both a blast back in the day for me. So people aren't showing up to these places? Anoka seems to be the only active place around me.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Not in the U.S.

 

[Aristippus]

I'm not dating because I've been married for 15 years. But there are general attitudes, mindsets, and behaviors that are good to have when it comes to dealing with women whether you're married or single. Just realized lunch break is over. Will finish this later.

 

[Aristippus]

Sometimes less is more. First thing is to always be willing to walk away. Your enjoyment and peace of mind is a priority. We aren't looking to have sex with every woman at the expense of our health or sanity. She (or they) have to meet not just your standards in looks, but should meet other standards (behavior, attitude,etc.).

YOU are to screen THEM. To weed them out. You are the one picking and choosing. Not the other way around. You have to be willing to walk away from childish, bratty, mentally unstable, or psychotic women no matter how physically attractive some may be.

The women you choose must not only be attractive to you but they must show a genuine interest in you. This is a primary requirement. Look for interactions where there is mutual interest. Not the one-sided chasing game that so many men play. You must not have the beggar's mentality.

Start paying attention and looking for signs that women are interested in you and meeting them will be very low-pressure and a lot of fun. Instead of approaching women you might have a normal casual conversation with them. Paying attention to whether or not she is showing high interest, then you can leave your number with her. Either leave your number only or leave her your number and get hers in exchange. You have to get a feel for which is better for each situation.

If she seems to be boring or have low interest or a bad attitude you don't offer your number. Quality over quantity. So those are a few things to keep in mind when meeting women.

 

[Aristippus]

People sometimes talk about resistance. I think to myself "Resistance? That only exists in your head.". Maybe you're pushing too hard instead of relaxing and enjoying yourself. Maybe you're thinking or acting like a sex-starved used car salesman. I can't talk from experience when it comes to resistance because I wouldn't pursue or chase or try to push myself on a woman with low interest.

The so-called "resistance" is because you're wasting your time on a woman with low interest. You're chasing women with low interest instead of letting the women with high interest come to you. When I say "you" I don't mean you specifically, the original poster who started this topic. I mean "you" in general. People in general.

Women are easy to sleep with but hard to get rid of. Which is easier? To let a bad tenant move in and then have to evict her or to just never let the bad tenant move in in the first place? Is it easier to not open the door to an unwelcome guest and pretend you're not home or to get the unwelcomed
guest to leave after you've already let him in?

Women are the same. Be careful who you invite in. Be picky about the women you choose to be with. Resistance only comes from a place of low interest. Not from a place of high interest. It's true that sometimes men can self-sabotage and kill interest that was already there. That's pretty easy to deal with. You stop sabotaging yourself by taking the path of least resistance. I will explain what the path of least resistance is later but the general idea is, people don't resist what they already want when it is presented in a desirable way.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Sometimes less is more. First thing is to always be willing to walk away. Your enjoyment and peace of mind is a priority. We aren't looking to have sex with every woman at the expense of our health or sanity. She (or they) have to meet not just your standards in looks, but should meet other standards (behavior, attitude,etc.).

YOU are to screen THEM. To weed them out. You are the one picking and choosing. Not the other way around. You have to be willing to walk away from childish, bratty, mentally unstable, or psychotic women no matter how physically attractive some may be.

The women you choose must not only be attractive to you but they must show a genuine interest in you. This is a primary requirement. Look for interactions where there is mutual interest. Not the one-sided chasing game that so many men play. You must not have the beggar's mentality.

Start paying attention and looking for signs that women are interested in you and meeting them will be very low-pressure and a lot of fun. Instead of approaching women you might have a normal casual conversation with them. Paying attention to whether or not she is showing high interest, then you can leave your number with her. Either leave your number only or leave her your number and get hers in exchange. You have to get a feel for which is better for each situation.

If she seems to be boring or have low interest or a bad attitude you don't offer your number. Quality over quantity. So those are a few things to keep in mind when meeting women.

I agree with all of this. I think learning vetting strategies is a natural progression once you get older or more experienced. Having lots of casual sex, dates, numbers, plates, etc is fvcking exhausting and ultimately a big waste of time imo. Quality > quantity every day. If that means holding off on dates and whatever else, so be it. That said, if you're rusty you might not have this luxury at first so you might need to be willing to put in a bit more effort to get your mojo back and deal with a few trainwrecks. But if you have natural social skills, confidence, etc you probably should default to hardcore vetting.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

People sometimes talk about resistance. I think to myself "Resistance? That only exists in your head.". Maybe you're pushing too hard instead of relaxing and enjoying yourself. Maybe you're thinking or acting like a sex-starved used car salesman. I can't talk from experience when it comes to resistance because I wouldn't pursue or chase or try to push myself on a woman with low interest.

The so-called "resistance" is because you're wasting your time on a woman with low interest. You're chasing women with low interest instead of letting the women with high interest come to you. When I say "you" I don't mean you specifically, the original poster who started this topic. I mean "you" in general. People in general.

Women are easy to sleep with but hard to get rid of. Which is easier? To let a bad tenant move in and then have to evict her or to just never let the bad tenant move in in the first place? Is it easier to not open the door to an unwelcome guest and pretend you're not home or to get the unwelcomed
guest to leave after you've already let him in?

Women are the same. Be careful who you invite in. Be picky about the women you choose to be with. Resistance only comes from a place of low interest. Not from a place of high interest. It's true that sometimes men can self-sabotage and kill interest that was already there. That's pretty easy to deal with. You stop sabotaging yourself by taking the path of least resistance. I will explain what the path of least resistance is later but the general idea is, people don't resist what they already want when it is presented in a desirable way.

Resistance also comes from insecurity. Beware the high interest, insecure woman.

 

[Aristippus]

The Path of Least Resistance..... You only spend your time with women who are already attracted to you. You only give her what she wants in the amount she wants it. The beauty of it is that when you give her what she wants in the amount she wants, she's only going to get worked up to the point where she can hardly stand it and sex will be her idea.

Now YOU are the tease. You give her just enough physical contact for her to enjoy. There's an expression. One thing leads to another. " We were at my place and one thing led to another ,etc etc". So you ask yourself, what leads to the bedroom? Lots of little things do. But very simple things. So many people worry about how they can get a woman in the bedroom.

Me? I don't care because I know everything I do before is going to get her so worked up that she is going to be dragging me to the bedroom. One thing leads to another. Innocent touching can lead to a lingering hug which can lead to kissing which leads to grabbing her breasts and her grabbing you which leads to sex.

Even if we don't have sex she's going to be breathing heavy and unable to think straight. And then I can just lean back and laugh to myself. If you enjoy all the things that lead up to sex then sex happens all by itself. The Path of Least Resistance is a pleasant one where you're both getting what you want and it should be fun. It shouldn't feel like work.

You have a mutual enjoyment of each other and see how close to the edge you can get. See how much you can turn her on without having sex until she's begging for it. Then you give her what she wants again. And that's pretty much it. Just focus on enjoying all of the things that eventually lead to the bedroom and that will take care of itself.

p.s. You can also read up on sexual technique or just try different things in the bedroom and see how much pleasure you can both have.