Looking For An Opinion

[dingmachine]

Went to a bar a couple nights ago. One of my friends from grad school shows up with a bunch of her friends from work. Started talking to the hottest girl of the group. We end up sitting next to each other at a table for practically the whole night.

Conversation is good, no real breaks or awkward pauses. She rode with a male coworker who pretty much left us alone all night. I asked if he was her boyfriend, and the look on her face when I asked was all I needed to know to keep going. Pulled her number in the middle of the conversation, she called her phone from my phone, then we went back to talking.

Very light kino because she's a conservative-ish Christian type. One by one all of her friends/coworkers start coming up to her to say they're leaving, she stays. We end up staying until the bar closes, and part ways. Texted her when I got home to say "good to meet you tonight." No response.

Okay, so she's obviously not interested. And this is not the first time something like this has happened.

My question is why do girls do this, pretend they're interested all night and then it's ghost town when they get home? Validation? Trying to show off to other girls in the group? General a$$holery?

Opine away.

 

[dustmuffin]

She was having a good time. That's it. Don't worry about it and move on.

 

[ZTIME]

"Good to meet you tonight" is a statement which does not necessitate a response.

Your need for validation that she has the same or some feelings for you could be the issue.

Next time try not to text a girl as soon as you get home.

 

[marmel75]

Went to a bar a couple nights ago. One of my friends from grad school shows up with a bunch of her friends from work. Started talking to the hottest girl of the group. We end up sitting next to each other at a table for practically the whole night.

Conversation is good, no real breaks or awkward pauses. She rode with a male coworker who pretty much left us alone all night. I asked if he was her boyfriend, and the look on her face when I asked was all I needed to know to keep going. Pulled her number in the middle of the conversation, she called her phone from my phone, then we went back to talking.

Very light kino because she's a conservative-ish Christian type. One by one all of her friends/coworkers start coming up to her to say they're leaving, she stays. We end up staying until the bar closes, and part ways. Texted her when I got home to say "good to meet you tonight." No response.

Okay, so she's obviously not interested. And this is not the first time something like this has happened.

My question is why do girls do this, pretend they're interested all night and then it's ghost town when they get home? Validation? Trying to show off to other girls in the group? General a$$holery?

Opine away.

Because you were too afraid to make a move because you thought she was "a conservative Christian" type. I'll bet money she has sucked a guys c0ck the first night she's met him at LEAST in the past. She gave you the chance to make a move, to suggest she come with you, etc, you either were too afraid to do so or pedestalized her into thinking "she wouldn't do that".

Wrong, she WOULD...this is the biggest thing guys need to get through their head. STOP pre-determining for a woman what she would and wouldn't do and simply go for what YOU want to happen in the interaction. If YOU wanted to Fvck her then YOU should have led the interaction that way. If YOU wanted to stroke her hair and kiss her than YOU should have done that. If YOU wanted to take her hand and put in on your c0ck once you had escalated to that point then YOU should have done it. But YOU did none of this. YOU led the interaction towards wanting to be her friend, and she obviously wasn't interested in that.

So in short, she wanted you to act like a man, gave you EVERY opportunity to do so, and you failed miserably. What else is there for her to do? Why would she want to respond? She wants a man, not a scared little boy. ALWAYS push boundaries...you can usually go a lot farther than you think, and if she lets you know to stop, then that's fine. But never stop yourself. No matter what a woman's views on sex, etc, she still gets turned on the SAME WAY and her pvssy still gets wet the SAME WAY and she still fantasizes the SAME WAY as any other woman.

Bottom line, she knew what you wanted from her, you were too scared to go for it, that's a woman's biggest turn off. You got nexted. Don't make the same mistake next time. Guys need to get though their head that whether you succeed at getting what you want or not, the fact you tried to get it carries weight...if you tried and failed, she may have given you another shot, but not trying and failing is a definite next.

This is what is called a self-c0ckblock

 

[Poon King]

Your behavior reeks of beta insecurity.

The main mistake is analyzing her too much and worrying about "she's a Christian" and what not. Who gives a f*ck? YOU are the man.. take what you want. Talking all night is something women do with their girlfriends. You are a man.. take action and make moves.

If I was in that situation I would of tested her interest by touching her and saying some flirty lines like "You have the cutest smile I've ever seen" or whatever compliment made sense. I would then read her body language to detect if she is a slut who I can f*ck that night or someone who needs a slower approach.

So let's assume she is not a slut because of her "Christian values". I would then take her number and tell her I gotta go. That's it. Then I would shoot her a text within that next week and invite her out for drinks.

I can tell you're not spinning plates. You need to start.

Fear of rejection comes from the delusion that a particular woman is special. In other words.. placing a woman on a pedestal.

 

[dingmachine]

Your behavior reeks of beta insecurity.

You're wrong. If you saw me in the field, the last thing you'd think was that I was a beta.

I can tell you're not spinning plates. You need to start.

You're wrong again. Putting this girl on a pedestal may have killed me here, but I have three other girls in my queue who pretty much do whatever I want except for the occasional sh*t test because I'm not paying them enough attention.

I'm not going to out who this woman is or who she works for on an internet forum about fvcking women, but suffice to say that anyone would have been hard-pressed not to put her on a pedestal. She was very impressive and whip smart......... and also not interested, so I'll move on. No big deal. It's not the last time something like this will happen. Part of the Game.

Fear of rejection comes from the delusion that a particular woman is special. In other words.. placing a woman on a pedestal.

I'd like to know how your psychic abilities keyed you in to this little conclusion. No, I do not have a fear of rejection. What I do have is a fear of coming off as a cad to my politically connected friends in the small, southern state where I live where doing that could actually (a) hurt my career, (b) cause the grad-school friend who introduced us to warn off her other equally hot and politically connected friends in the future, or (c) both.

It's becoming clear that the advice on this website boils down to little more than, "You didn't fvck her that night? You failed." Some of us, myself included, may be inclined to fvck a woman the first night we meet them, but other times I'm not. Could be logistics. Could be how I'm feeling. Could be the fact that I'd rather let the girl think I'm actually interested in getting to know her before going for the kill on the second date.

And before one more person just straight up assumes that I didn't try to go for the bang, she said she lived near the bar where we were, and I asked her ONCE when things at the bar were dying down if we should get out of here and go back to her place. She said she wasn't that type of girl, but she wasn't pissed off about it. I could tell it excited her, but she wasn't going to do it. So, yeah, I made the move and was denied.

Overeagerness probably killed me here by texting her when I got home. No problem. I will see her out again, and after a month or so of not following up on the good night text, I may or may not have spurned enough intrigue to restart things. If not, I'll hang out with her for 10-20 minutes for social proof and move on to my next target.

 

[Poon King]

You're wrong. If you saw me in the field, the last thing you'd think was that I was a beta.

You're wrong again. Putting this girl on a pedestal may have killed me here, but I have three other girls in my queue who pretty much do whatever I want except for the occasional sh*t test because I'm not paying them enough attention.

I'm not going to out who this woman is or who she works for on an internet forum about fvcking women, but suffice to say that anyone would have been hard-pressed not to put her on a pedestal. She was very impressive and whip smart......... and also not interested, so I'll move on. No big deal. It's not the last time something like this will happen. Part of the Game.

I'd like to know how your psychic abilities keyed you in to this little conclusion. No, I do not have a fear of rejection. What I do have is a fear of coming off as a cad to my politically connected friends in the small, southern state where I live where doing that could actually (a) hurt my career, (b) cause the grad-school friend who introduced us to warn off her other equally hot and politically connected friends in the future, or (c) both.

It's becoming clear that the advice on this website boils down to little more than, "You didn't fvck her that night? You failed." Some of us, myself included, may be inclined to fvck a woman the first night we meet them, but other times I'm not. Could be logistics. Could be how I'm feeling. Could be the fact that I'd rather let the girl think I'm actually interested in getting to know her before going for the kill on the second date.

And before one more person just straight up assumes that I didn't try to go for the bang, she said she lived near the bar where we were, and I asked her ONCE when things at the bar were dying down if we should get out of here and go back to her place. She said she wasn't that type of girl, but she wasn't pissed off about it. I could tell it excited her, but she wasn't going to do it. So, yeah, I made the move and was denied.

Overeagerness probably killed me here by texting her when I got home. No problem. I will see her out again, and after a month or so of not following up on the good night text, I may or may not have spurned enough intrigue to restart things. If not, I'll hang out with her for 10-20 minutes for social proof and move on to my next target.

Sounds like you know exactly whats going on then. Good.

Still.. you admitted to putting this particular woman on a pedestal. That is never a good idea. I don't care who she is or what she looks like.. never pedestalize any woman ever. Especially a woman you haven't slept with yet.

Never said you have to f*ck every woman you meet right away. That is only for slutty women because if a woman is a slut you would be a fool to waste time gaming her when you could be f*cking her. Non-sluts will require more work.

You also mentioned that this woman's connections created a political situation where you could damage your career if things go badly. To me, that means she is a no go. I make it a rule to only deal with women in situations where I have the advantage, freedom and upper hand to play by my own rules. If I have to worry about my career then the woman isn't worth it.

Too many men allow themselves to become financially, politically or professionally ruined because they were too thirsty to leave a woman alone. There are many famous examples up to past U.S. Presidents. There are billions of women on earth. Don't risk your MONEY and your POWER to f*ck one. EVER.

 

[marmel75]

I think here is where you might have fvcked up:

Her: "I'm not that type of girl"

You: "Wow...obviously we know what is on your mind. I was just thinking we could continue to enjoy spending time together, but if you don't think you could control yourself around me and keep your hands to yourself in private, then it's probably not a good idea. I don't put out that easily."

And then give her a big smirky smile.

That was a standard ASD line most women want you to push through. You gave up too easily. Not making a further attempt to push through coupled with overeager texting = boy not man behavior.

 

[grayclif]

But dude she waited with you all night...

It's not dead tho. Text her in three days. Get her laughing and then ask her out next weekend with a time date and location. Hopefully she'll give you another chance. Do everything you should have done on night one.

 

[dingmachine]

But dude she waited with you all night...

It's not dead tho. Text her in three days. Get her laughing and then ask her out next weekend with a time date and location. Hopefully she'll give you another chance. Do everything you should have done on night one.

I have a "one strike and you're out" philosophy to dating. If she's not willing to take two seconds to respond to a text, I'm not willing to give her an hour of my time.

Her number was deleted as of yesterday when I concluded that my overeagerness killed this prospect. Live and learn. She has my number. She knows how to get a hold of me.

 

[GoodOne123]

I think you could have been a bit more direct if you wanted to, but I don't think it matters much if she was genuinely interested.

In my experience, if she's into you, she will reply fast and be friendly, even on the exact same night. She makes it easy for you regardless.

I would move on and not even let it phase me. Some girls just like to talk and flirt for the sake of it. Some just want to tease. Some are down for something only in the heat of the moment.

 

[NSX-R]

I came into a conclusion from my personal experiences, by observing other people plus from a conversation that i had here long time a ago.

Phone number in these forums , is considered the most important thing a man can achieve while trying to pick up a chick (2nd after the actual fck with her).
First of all , it creates some illusionary beliefs like, 1) the chick is full into you ,2)confidence,3)the game is over and you are the winner,4)you start pedestalizing her and in some extreme cases ,you even think about wedding,kids etc.

A phone number means nothing. Personally if i haven't fcked the woman already, didn't had any physical interaction with her(making out with her ,or clear IOIs) or she didn't offered(the number) on her own to me ,then i just don't ask for it. That's it.

I'm not going to spend my time with potential flakes, illusionary beliefs or whatever. That way ,I'm always in control of the situation.

 

[3agle 3yes]

The responses on this thread are a prime example of how some men over-analyse situations.

I don't see anything wrong here.

So she didn't respond to your text? Is she obligated to?

If you want to meet her again, text her to come see you when YOU'RE free (I don't plan "dates" in advance unless I have to and when I do its usually later on the same day, personally...if you plan days in advance it just gives women time to think about it which leads to flakes), she gave you her number after all, that's why people give out their numbers...so you can talk to them and meet up.

If she comes to you, proceed from there.