Looking for advice with my 2nd child on the way

randalljohnson

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2017
Messages
250
Reaction score
24
Age
34
Hey all. So my girlfriend (whom most of you are familiar with) is pregnant with my child and she's moving in to live with me and my kid. We've been together for just under a year. We each have a 9 year old, from seperate relationships. (I took on the father role for her kid and she loves that.) I'm sure many of you will tell me I made a huge mistake and that she's (still) going to leave me in the future. However, I'm looking for advice and insight from my fellow DJs.
 

Roober

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2016
Messages
2,386
Reaction score
2,126
Damn.... don't you know how to use protection? You knocked her up within a year?

What are you looking for insight on?
 

randalljohnson

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2017
Messages
250
Reaction score
24
Age
34
Damn.... don't you know how to use protection? You knocked her up within a year?

What are you looking for insight on?
Which is interesting because before we met, when she was single, she was actively on birth control and making sure guys wore rubber (I know this because one of her best friends mentioned this to me)

Just looking for insight on your opinions about this and how to proceed
 

sazc

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
4,502
Reaction score
3,430
Was this unplanned?

You make good money, don't you?
 

Roober

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2016
Messages
2,386
Reaction score
2,126
Where do I start...
Contraception - lies! gets preggo in a couple months but used to always wear protection... surrrreee...
Your 9-year old - a new baby is not fair to him. Especially with some woman you barely know... focus on him/her!
Her 9-year old - she should do the same
New baby - youve been to this rodeo, it is nothing new
Moving in? - guard your assets and your finances

This is a recipe for disaster if this is the same woman you chronicled about in the past... good luck to you...
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

randalljohnson

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2017
Messages
250
Reaction score
24
Age
34
Where do I start...
Contraception - lies! gets preggo in a couple months but used to always wear protection... surrrreee...
Your 9-year old - a new baby is not fair to him. Especially with some woman you barely know... focus on him/her!
Her 9-year old - she should do the same
New baby - youve been to this rodeo, it is nothing new
Moving in? - guard your assets and your finances

This is a recipe for disaster if this is the same woman you chronicled about in the past... good luck to you...
It is the same woman I posted about in the past, but why is this a recipe for disaster?
 

sazc

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
4,502
Reaction score
3,430
I can't believe she got pregnant on you. That is SO wrong and such a desperate move!

She's moving in....Can she claim common law after a certain point of time or, ever? Figure that out. If so, protect yourself.

I say hammer out a custody agreement NOW in the event that you may not be together at some point.

Dude.... Seriously.....SMFH
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,756
Reaction score
6,771
Age
55
I'd move her close by but NOT in with you. By close by I mean same neighborhood, same street even but not the same home.

Why? Many very important reasons, starting with both 9 year old children. They are BOTH going to be reeling from this development. Don't shove it into their 24/7 lives.

Next reason is that if you move her into your home you CANNOT legally kick her out after she establishes residency. She will have tenant's rights and you can't make her leave.

I am a rental property owner. Last year one of my tenants moved his ex wife into my rent house out of kindness. After she had been there 2 weeks, things went sour & he couldn't kick her out. As in the cops required him to give her access to the house since after a couple weeks...she's a resident!!

That resolved by me giving notice of eviction of everybody...including my 6 year tenured renter and their minor children for breach of contract/moving an unauthorized adult into the property...but I was going to allow my renter to move to another property I owned which was several blocks away without his ex wife.

Thing was his kids attend the school directly across the street, so moving was going to totally uproot his kids. In the end his ex wife chose to move out when she understood that I was serious about eviction & she was going to really disrupt her kids lives.

My renter was very lucky I had that kind of leverage. He came to me for help with the matter. He still lives there.

Do NOT give her that kind of leverage over you in your own home. It has serious implications for you that you may not realize.

Be wise. Keep her separate but near. Use your 9 year old's welfare as the excuse if you must but DO NOT move her in with you.

See how she reacts when you propose this idea. Anything other than an understanding attitude will tell you everything you need to know. She should pay for her own place near you. NOT live with you.
 

randalljohnson

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2017
Messages
250
Reaction score
24
Age
34
I can't believe she got pregnant on you. That is SO wrong and such a desperate move!

She's moving in....Can she claim common law after a certain point of time or, ever? Figure that out. If so, protect yourself.

I say hammer out a custody agreement NOW in the event that you may not be together at some point.

Dude.... Seriously.....SMFH
I don't see how this is a desperate move on her part. You think she's doing this to lock me down?

And she did win a battle over the father of her first child, she thought she may not be able to move out of state because of him but she got the courts permission. She said there were loopholes to where the father can still ruin it but that hasn't happened.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,756
Reaction score
6,771
Age
55
I don't see how this is a desperate move on her part. You think she's doing this to lock me down?

And she did win a battle over the father of her first child, she thought she may not be able to move out of state because of him but she got the courts permission. She said there were loopholes to where the father can still ruin it but that hasn't happened.
You are dealing with a woman who knows the law, knows her rights and knows how she can use the law to her advantage.

You better pay careful attention. Read my above post & digest that with what she has already done successfully.
 

randalljohnson

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2017
Messages
250
Reaction score
24
Age
34
You are dealing with a woman who knows the law, knows her rights and knows how she can use the law to her advantage.

You better pay careful attention. Read my above post & digest that with what she has already done successfully.
Are you implying she's doing it to lock me down or have me as her sugar daddy?
 

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
3,637
Reaction score
2,638
when she was single, she was actively on birth control and making sure guys wore rubber (I know this because one of her best friends mentioned this to me)
This has to be a troll. "You know this because one of her best friends mentioned this to me".

I hope that "best friend" wasn't a guy.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,756
Reaction score
6,771
Age
55
Ask her to move close by, pay for her own residence. Refuse to move her in with you and let the board know her response.

That will reveal her motive I assure you.
 

randalljohnson

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2017
Messages
250
Reaction score
24
Age
34
Ask her to move close by, pay for her own residence. Refuse to move her in with you and let the board know her response.

That will reveal her motive I assure you.
Well, this has been planned for weeks in advanced and about a week and a half from now is supposed to be the date she moves in..

If she was just using me for financial support, would it be entirely necessary for her to have my kid? I know it definitely can aid in that, but the fact that I was letting her move in with me shouldve been enough

I'm still curious to hear why Sazc is so outraged about this
 

sazc

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
4,502
Reaction score
3,430
There's no "implying" anything .

Did you BOTH agree to get pregnant? If not then this was a deviant move on her part.

She HAS locked you down. If things don't work out between you two she now has income for the next 18 years.
 

Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Top