Looking for Advice With Exclusive Girl

[Bauer]

Hey guys I have a situation I'm hoping ya'll can give me some advice on how to handle best.

I've been exclusive with this particular girl for about 7 months. Unfortunately due to our busy lives we don't have the time we'd like to spend with each other which makes having a relationship and our exclusivity pretty difficult.

Times when I'm free she's not and times when she is I'm not. We see each other when we can which can be weeks on end sometimes and sometimes end up in fights about it. We got into it earlier about this problem and out of frustration told each other we should take a break.

Few hours later she hits me up apologizing.

I told her I'd like to talk to her in person about this and not over text.
We both have some time this weekend and I told her to come over so we could talk and she said ok.

Now to be honest here, I'm kind of tired of not being able to see her as often as I'd like and makes me feel like letting her go would be best since I find myself frustrated by the situation. On the other hand, I really have feelings for this girl and truthfully don't want to let her go - so I'm torn.

My problem is, I'm not quite sure what to tell her. I don't want to let her go, and want to tell her how I really feel about her, but then I don't want that to put me into a position where I look weak and look less desirable.

I'd like to be able to tell her how I feel in a way that doesn't make me look like a wuss & actually makes her want to stick around more, without my feelings pushing her away.

Any advice on how to tell a girl how you really feel about her without turning her off?

Any help would be great my mind is kind of scattered at the moment so it's hard to think clearly about this.

Thanks guys!

 

[bmp2cpm]

A woman with high interest will make time for you. Seven months in and she can't make time for you. Imagine what it will be like in 24 months. Plus, she's keeping you from seeing others. If you believe in soulmates....you could be missing your opportunity because you are focused on this one girl only. You're too young to put up with this crap. She's treating you like you've been married for 15 years and you're just boyfriend and girlfriend. Only goes downhill from here in your relationship.

If I were you, I would tell her you think the two of you should be friends and you should start dating multiple women. Date a few women and one of them will make you forget all about this one. Plus if you try and friend zone this girl, she may make more time for you and still let you in the bedroom, but maybe not.

Let her go. She's holding you back from all the good things in life.

 

[bmp2cpm]

I'll leave you with one more thought.....if she doesn't have high interest for your right now....well who exactly does she have high interest for?

 

[Desdinova]

Times when I'm free she's not and times when she is I'm not. We see each other when we can which can be weeks on end sometimes and sometimes end up in fights about it. We got into it earlier about this problem and out of frustration told each other we should take a break.

Few hours later she hits me up apologizing.

You're in a good position right now with this woman. You have the power in the relationship. However, you're on the brink of losing it...

I don't want to let her go, and want to tell her how I really feel about her, but then I don't want that to put me into a position where I look weak and look less desirable.

Telling her how you feel will make you look weak and less desirable. I guarantee her attraction toward you will drop if you do this.

The best thing you can do is make the most out of your time with her and quit bytching like a little girl about how you don't get to spend enough time with her. If you make your time with her high quality, SHE will make more time for you by adapting to your schedule.

And when I mean high quality time, I don't mean romantic dinners and 5hit. Do fun activities with her and use some self-control to avoid whining about how little you see her.

I'd like to be able to tell her how I feel in a way that doesn't make me look like a wuss & actually makes her want to stick around more, without my feelings pushing her away.

The only way you can do this is to SHOW her how you feel by making your dates fun. If you feel the need to tell her how you feel, buy yourself a doll and tell your feelings to THAT. Do NOT tell your gf about your feelings.

Society promotes telling girls how you feel about them, but instead of having her attraction go up, it ALWAYS has the opposite effect. Again, increase the quality of your dates and you will get better results.

 

[Lozboss]

You're in a good position right now with this woman. You have the power in the relationship. However, you're on the brink of losing it...



Telling her how you feel will make you look weak and less desirable. I guarantee her attraction toward you will drop if you do this.

The best thing you can do is make the most out of your time with her and quit bytching like a little girl about how you don't get to spend enough time with her. If you make your time with her high quality, SHE will make more time for you by adapting to your schedule.

And when I mean high quality time, I don't mean romantic dinners and 5hit. Do fun activities with her and use some self-control to avoid whining about how little you see her.



The only way you can do this is to SHOW her how you feel by making your dates fun. If you feel the need to tell her how you feel, buy yourself a doll and tell your feelings to THAT. Do NOT tell your gf about your feelings.

Society promotes telling girls how you feel about them, but instead of having her attraction go up, it ALWAYS has the opposite effect. Again, increase the quality of your dates and you will get better results.

Listen to this man.

It's about quality time- not quantity time. As you do more dates (whether exclusive with a woman or not) and they are quality (you both have a great time, she follows up etc) then she will start wanting to see you more.

Quality will lead to quantity.

You also need to back off, as hard as that is. Let her chase a bit. Even if it's 3 weeks with no meet. If she's got interest then she'll pursue.

Patience is the key here. If you jump the gun on anything then you'll blow it.

 

[Bauer]

Thanks for the feedback Desdinova/Lozboss. As much as I hate to admit it, you're both right. So I'll get my shyt under-control and treat the situation accordingly.

Just need to decide if I'm going to friendzone her or not.

As far as her coming over this weekend goes - how do you think I should handle that? Cancel? Do something else instead? As far as she knows she's coming over to "talk" but if that's going to put me in a bad position I'd rather not even bring any of this up.

If I could spin this in a way to get her in my bedroom instead, I'd much rather opt for that, then start picking up other women.

Appreciate your thoughts guys, really do.

 

[Desdinova]

Turn your mistake into seduction. This is a great opportunity to send her for an emotional roller coaster ride. Let her think that you're going to "talk".

When she comes over, do something like this in a serious tone... "What I want to talk about is really serious. I was wondering.... what you would think about.... us.... going to xxxx for lunch?"

It doesn't have to be lunch. You could plan something else and you'll get the same results. Get her emotions bouncing around.

 

[Bauer]

Turn your mistake into seduction. This is a great opportunity to send her for an emotional roller coaster ride. Let her think that you're going to "talk".

When she comes over, do something like this in a serious tone... "What I want to talk about is really serious. I was wondering.... what you would think about.... us.... going to xxxx for lunch?"

It doesn't have to be lunch. You could plan something else and you'll get the same results. Get her emotions bouncing around.

That's a really good idea. I'll do that.

Knowing her however, she will bring up the situation. Would you advise I play it off like there's nothing to talk about, tell her don't worry about it or what?

It's not a problem to get her emotions bouncing around but once she brings it up I'm not quite sure how to engage the situation.

 

[VladPatton]

I'd leave it be, you have a pretty good situation seeing her in a limited amount of time. Like Desdinova said, make that time that you do see her really great. She'll be soaking her panties just thinking about the next meet, which is a plus for you. If you're just laying around on the couch channel surfing, of course she's not gonna go out of her way to make more time.

Difuse this situation when she comes over. You just say "I wanted to let you know we're still cool, right??? Right? And we need to do more activities, after all, summer's almost here and the weather is warmer"

That's it. Don't dwell on feelings, the relationship, any of that bullsh!t. And absolutely no whining.

Now, if she's looking for a fight, you better be sure she already started to check out of the relationship and is looking to end it, so be prepped for that possibility. Just so you don't get blind-sided.

Keep us posted.

 

[Desdinova]

That's a really good idea. I'll do that.

Knowing her however, she will bring up the situation. Would you advise I play it off like there's nothing to talk about, tell her don't worry about it or what?

It's not a problem to get her emotions bouncing around but once she brings it up I'm not quite sure how to engage the situation.

Just boil it down to you having a bad day and not to worry about it. And that's if she inquires about it.

 

[Bauer]

Cool. Sounds good. Thanks Desdinova/VladPatton

 

[Bauer]

Just to update here, I didn't hear from the girl all day so ended up texting her if we were still on for last night. She apologized and said she was really busy and wouldn't be able to.

Asked her what she had going on and she said she worked, went to a play with her Mom, came home and then left to orange county to watch a flat track race with her friends.

Played it off like it wasn't a big deal, told her to have fun and to hit me up when she was able to come over.

I went to another chicks house I've been talking to lately, ended up fvcking and staying the night. As far as the other girl is concerned she's done. I'm just going to cut her off and move on to other women.

Thanks for all the advice anyways guys.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Nicely played out on your part & having a back-up plan! Her priorities are definitely else were,
flat track racing with her "orbiters" was more important than seeing you. Ahh ok see how woman display "less f*cks given".....by having fun with "friends".

Hint takening, you have the power to walk away now. It sounds like you have so good for you!

"We got into it earlier about this problem and out of frustration told each other we should take a break."

Wom*nese: take a break = I want to f*ck this new guy

 

[sodbuster]

OR, you have the potential of high income, and she was willing to string you along to see if you GOT it. I had one doing that when I was just starting my Dental office. It didn't stop me from dating other women, and the office didn't really click for about a year after we broke up..... her loss