Look for disinterest, not interest!!

[Matt Rogers]

Something that I have learnt is that beautiful women will RARELY show signs of interest at least for the first few dates. Compare this to average looking girls who will flirt with you, smile loads, and be all touchy-feely. With beautiful women you have to instead look for disinterest

Signs of disinterest:
1) Doesn't give you her number
2) Impossible to set up a date
3) Flaky and unreliable
4) Is just plain rude and blows you off
5) Makes no effort to continue a conversation and you start to notice lots of long pauses which she makes no effort to fill
6) When you try to kiss her turns her cheek away

If a beautiful girl is being reasonably friendly and conversation seems to flow, then that is likely to be as good a sign as you are going to get at least initially. ASK FOR HER NUMBER!!!

I made the mistake of assuming beautiful girls weren't interested, because they didn't do the whole touchy-feely, smiling, flirting, playing with the hair nonsense. I ask a couple for their numbers and out on a date, and they say yes and turn up.

I have also found that with beautiful girls you have to INITIATE everything. They are quite happy to sit pretty and will not take the initiative most of the time.

Also, never think that you don't have a chance with beautiful women. While they do have a lot of male admirers. The only ones who do anything about it are the male players (jocks, playboys etc)-most of whom are just after sleeping with her. Some girls go for this sort of man, but if they don't then you will be a rarity as a charming, cleancut DJ who has the guts to talk to her, ask her out, and be a man and stand up to her.

 

[disciple]

Excellent post!!

You brought up some good points about interest and disinterest.

The ironic thing is that most pretty girls are very insecure and usually have low self-esteem and actually fear rejection more than most guys!!

So if a pretty girl is attracted to you, alot of them will try to hide their attraction and may even appear to have no attraction or interest in you at all.

You are also right that you have to take the initiative with these chicks and not rely on signs of attraction like playing with their hair or even eye contact because some women can be very attracted to you but avoid eye contact with you.

Women really can be perplexing and confusing because sometimes the ones that don't show signs of attraction are the very ones who want you to approach the most!!

 

[jakethasnake]

In some cases, these observations are SO spot on. But in other cases, they are wrong. So what does this say? TREAT EVERYTHING ON A CASE-BY-CASE BASIS.



Otherwise, this was a very nice post.

 

[Hot Ice]

I agree fully with jakethasnake here!
Good post if you generalize!

I have notinced that I NEVER think about if a chick is interested in me or not. I always assume they do. And that's a fact untill proven wrong. And believe me, you get proven wrong more rare that you could ever imagine if you can call yourself a DJ.

 

[sapphire]

That is a very interesting and accurate point made by Disciple regarding a girl's signals or lack thereof.

Some girls, especially the really hot ones simply don't let you on that they like you even giving you the impression that they have no interest whatsoever.

 

[GuitarOnFire7]

One of the girls I saw today was brushing her hair madly when I sat next to her. I didn't try to deviate too far from the group discussion, but I had an opportunity to close when everyone else left.

Well, I casually invited her to a local café on campus (ie. "How about we get a drink at [blah blah]?"). She replied that she had to meet up with her friends for supper. To save face, I said calmly, "Okay, perhaps some other time, then", and left.

This girl has consistantly shown me high interest, such as checking me out. Should I wait a few days and arrange a another date, or chuck the number out as soon as possible?

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

Okay, I'm not waiting for a green light to go talk to her, I make my moves based on how I feel, not how she feels about me. If thats the point your trying to make, your spot on.

But, what I don't get is your list of disinterest. Why would I look for flaky girls or unaffectionate girls?

I know if I'm with a girl no matter what she looks like, if she isn't showing some interest in me, than I don't really want her around.

You should not decide whether or not your gonna talk to a girl based on buying signals, disinterest shouldn't stop you at that juncture, but later on the girl better be interested in me or she's getting replaced by someone who does.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Fred Da Head]

I agree with most of this post.. However:

2) Impossible to set up a date

MIGHT be true if you're a loser with now life and can go through the whole week and weekend trying to find a time she'll be available.

("Can you go out wednesday?
-No.
-Thursday then?
-No.
-Friday?
-No.
...so on")

But, personally, I have rather little free time, and I tend to date girls in the same situation, so finding times to set up date is hard. It really depends on your personality and the personality of the girl you're trying to get. I do agree that in general, it IS a good rule... you just gotta watch out for exceptions.

5) Makes no effort to continue a conversation and you start to notice lots of long pauses which she makes no effort to fill

Is also a bit on the "most of the time, but not always" side. The girl could be shy, or concerned about something, or just dumb. Shy girls tend to have high IL but won't talk too much because they're too shy and not confident enough in what they could say.

Of course, if you approach an extrovert and she suddenly goes silent, that's a good sign she's not interested. Like the original post says, most beautiful girls are outgoing, BUT, in my personal experience, many of them feel a bit too dumb and tend to shy up when they're one-on-one with an articulated, seemingly intelligent guy. These girls have always been praised on their beauty, but have rarely (if ever) been told they're smart. They'll still give you all the "buy" signs and give you non of the "no go" signs, but they WILL shut up, or at least talk less than usual.

Good post, though.

-Fred

 

[That_Guy49]

your advice is valid, but isn't seeing for disinterest an issue that makes us a little more insecure rather than assertive?

 

[The Main Event]

Originally posted by That_Guy49
your advice is valid, but isn't seeing for disinterest an issue that makes us a little more insecure rather than assertive?

Not if you use it for good instead of evil.

I believe what Matt's talking about are signs that a girl's wasting your time or is with you for an illegitimate reason (money, attention-whoring, nothing better to do). Note that choice of language; she's "with you". This isn't for determining whether you should ask for her phone number. It's for gauging whether she's serious about the relationship.

In that sense it reminds me of one of Anti-Dump's better posts from years ago. It was good advice then, and it's just as valid now.


I am
The Main Event.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I am a huge fan of Doc Love and Antidump. Too many people are focused on signs of interest. e.g. She smiled at me does she like me.

Basically the approach you need to take is provided she is reasonably responsive i.e. doesn't put a restraining order on you or run for the hills whenever you try and talk to her, then ask for her number. Too many men don't ask for the number until the girl is throwing herself at him. Most girls especially pretty ones won't. This is how they filter the men from the boys. The men put their desires first and if they like the girl they ask her out.

After asking her number ask her on dates. If she says yes or accepts a counteroffer or gives a counteroffer, this is good.

When you are into her and want to kiss her and she kisses you back this is good.

The whole point is to avoid wasting time with girls who don't like you. You force them to play their hand. Their actions are far more reliable than what they say or their bodylanguage.

 

[sapphire]

Yes, but the problem is that many women are good actresses and will feign interest for ulterior motives. So even if the girl accepts a date that is no guarantee that she likes you for you.

That is the dilemma that rich guys have every time they take a girl out. He is always questioning is it me or my money, status, etc. that she is after? This is especially true with hot chicks.

Ever notice guys with women who are clearly out of their league? In almost every instance the guy is rich or has status. That is why I always never reveal my finances when I first go out with a chick. In fact I try to minimize any semblance of being rich because of this. Granted I always been told that I am attractive and very good looking and I have pulled girls when I did not have a dime in my pocket. But now that I am doing quite well, I have become paranoid to say the least with all the goldigging that is out there.

You can probably weed out a good portion with Anti-Dump's methods, but there are a few that will slip under the radar.

 

[becker]

Originally posted by sapphire
So even if the girl accepts a date that is no guarantee that she likes you for you.

I'll agree on this part, sapphire. I had a girl eagerly accept 2 dates with me in one week and essentially disappear from the face of the earth, never to be heard from again. She is an extremely busy girl, but at the same time, I'm sensing that she's not the most honest, so I cut off all contact with her.

 

[sapphire]

Don't worry Becker. Even the best of us have fallen victim to phonies.

With time and experience, however, you will learn to quickly seperate the time wasters from the Real Mccoy. But in order to find out and play the game you sometimes have to invest a little time and money to find out.

That is why I agree with the kiss test or making a sexual move very early on to see whether the girl is a phony or not. But, again some chicks will go even that far in sleeping with a guy and not be really interested in him.

 

[DeathDealer]

*BUMP* good post. Signs of interest is very easy. I get this all the time when I go out to bars/clubs/house parties. But when I try to get a date out of them, it becomes a struggle (like they keep changing dates, date ideas, canceling) or they make it difficult for me to contact them (they return my call in 5 hours or 3 days later and I can never seem to get them on the first call after a few tries)

You gotta understand that some girls are UNDATEABLE.

 

[tactic]

beautiful girls do that.