Long Time Friend is Single

Packers2010

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hey my name is Dylan and i'm new around here. i came here because i need some help.

it's late, I can't sleep and i'm hungry ( lol) so here is the beginning of my story

back when i was in high school ( i'm 20 now) i met this girl from a friend. Jane. i remember it like it was yesterday ( cue flashback )

my friend at the time invited me to go play pool at the pool hall where i spent most of my teens in, it was a dingy place up stares from a bowling ally. i didn't care much, they had pool tables and thats all i really cared about back then.

i can remember walking up those steps, like i had done so many times before. i remember walking to the top of the stars and seeing her for the first time. it was like... seeing the mona lisa being painted right in front of me. she looked like a work art... like something you see in the movies....

so as i stood there drooling over how beautiful she looked.....

my friend (peter) , Jane and her friend ( Jillian ) had finished playing pool and we went home.I mean we was 15 at the time. but i remember leaving thinking to my self. i got to find out more about Jane.

a few weeks later ( i think it was) i got her MSN and we started talking. we talk for a bit n stuff and everything was cool. at the time i didn't really know where peter and Jane stood.

so i talked to peter about it and asked him what was going on. he told me he didn't like her and he wanted someone else.

HE LIED

he didn't really like someone else he liked Jane. so of course him and Jane get togethera little while after.

while peter and jane dated. me and Jane become friends.

me and Jane talked on msn some more and hang out a little at the pool hall with a group of friends. as time passes ( 6months) i start to like Jane a little more.

a few months later peter breaks up with Jane and Jane is gutted. so i am left to pick up the pieces. i don't mind. i always help people when they are in need.

so i helped her out like a good friend should do and our friendship grew. we hung out a few more times in the city and chatted on msn from time to time.

after while i realized i wasn't going to have a chance with her so i went out with Cindy

i dated her for a few months and then we broke up. i called Jane and told her i broke up with Cindy. she helped me threw a bad time for me. like any good friend would. i felt like i could tell Jane anything at that point.

so after 2 years go by and during this time we talk on msn and meet up 2 more times in the city all the while.i keep thinking about her and i start to like her more and more. even tho i do nothing about it.

so another year goes by and she gets a new bf Tod. this quickly turns into a " serious relationship". round about this time i'm 18 and i'm working in a factory. so some strange reason. my anxiety starts acting up so i start acting weired on msn one night and then she ask me... do you like me?

i flipped out at this point. because...

A) i felt at this point i was in love with her.

and

b) i didn't want to tell her over the internet that i did. i wanted to tell her in person.

so i try and stall. but it doesn't work. she keeps asking me and asking me and theni crack and tell her

" i loved you since the first time i laid eyes on you". (witch is what i feel. even to this day.)

she says she is ok with that but don't like me at all she likes tod.

so we stay friends talk on facebook and really act like noting has happened.

6 months go by and she tells me that she is thinking of breaking up with Tod. i be a good friend and tell he what she wants to hear at the time.


fast foreword a year to today and i go on facebook to see she changed her status to " single" i tell her in the comments that i'm sorry to see that. ( witch i sort of am i guess) then i shoot her a PM asking if she is ok.

she says she is ok and that she just recently got skype so she will call me later.

she gets on skype and video calls me. and we talk things threw. i have no idea what to say. i mean i hadn't done this in a long time. plus it was her decision to break up with him so i couldn't really say much.all i did much except try make her laugh.

after we talked about her bf. we stayed up late chatting about random stuff. she showed me a new trailer for a movie she wants to see. witch i found cool.

she also said she dose have many friends anymore. witch i replied with

" i don't either" ( fi$%#ng retarded i know. good old anxiety kicking up again)

then she siad

"well we have one things in common"

i thought i might be able to take her out some time soon. maybe we could go play pool or something. maybe show her my fun side since she doesn't have many friends. or would that be a bad idea?

Jane also asked if i was collage i said no i'm not really doing anything right now. IE unemployed. witch is bad. very bad.

a) girls don't like bums
b) i can't take her anywhere nice
c) the reason she broke up with tod was because he had no job and they was living together. she had a job but he didn't.

she also said she wouldn't have sex with me or show me her boobs. she said.

" nice man boobs" i was like haha...

then i tired to be smart by saying

" i'll show you mine if you showed me yours" i kind of laughed it off tho cos it was so stupid but i thought it was funny. lol

she also said she doesn't like poker ( her bf used to play it) I LOVE poker. but i'm not a BIG time player i only play for like 5$ at a time n stuff. i can easy stop gambling at the drop of a hat

after all this. do you think i maybe could have a chance with her later on. down the road. i mean we have know each other for close to 6 years now. so. i don't know.

i'm pretty sure she was just using me since i am a good friend to her or the " nice guy".

i also felt in parts of our convo it sort of felt like she was getting information. like one minuet she would ask me if i was at collage then quickly change the subject to something else. maybe it was just me who noticed that. i need to work on my conversation skills.

so what do you think? do i have a chance with her or not? or am i doomed to fail?

thanks for reading i know this was a huge post to get through. so thanks for replying
 

Tesl

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You are doomed to fail, and could not be any more friendzoned if you tried. Moving on is your only option at this point.

You did the same steps most guys probably do once in their lives (I did all this once too). The trick is learning from that and making sure you don't do it again. Almost everything you did at every step of the way was a massive mistake, if your goal was for you two to hook up.

Read the DJ bible, you need it. You fit the AFC mold perfectly.
 

joe henny

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oh god this sounds like a crush....I FVCKING HATE CRUSHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

BlackJackal

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Yea man you have no chance. Sorry but, but you need to read over everything you said in this thread, and not do any of it when you move on to the next chick. I already see where this is going, and it's a dark road.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Iceberg

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Packers2010 said:
so what do you think? do i have a chance with her or not? or am i doomed to fail?

thanks for reading i know this was a huge post to get through. so thanks for replying
Sorry pal.

You've been in this girl's friend zone since you were a high school kid. And then you went and doubled up on the friend zone by telling her that you're in love with her.

By the way, you weren't in love with her. Love without sex or at least some semblance of a relationship only happens in the movies and ugly girls' fantasies.

Everything you were doing for her makes you a good friend. But all the things that make you a good friend are what make you boring and non-sexual to her. You're safe. You're there for her. You listen. That equates to boredom.

If you're ever trying to date a girl again. Do NONE of what you did with this girl. Make it clear that she's in your life as a potential hook up, not a friend. Do not be a shoulder to lean on. Be a source of fun and adventure.

And if you ignore every other piece of advice, remember this one: Never throw around that "I love you" stuff first. Let the girl ask "Where is our relationship going?" Let the girl ask, "Do you love me?" A man cannot do that because it puts the woman in control. She now has the upper hand. And you know what? She doesn't want it.....She doesn't want it. The man doesn't want her to have it. And neither does Mother F'n Nature. It's bad for everyone. In damn near every species of animal, the male leads. The woman follows, asking "where is this going?"
 

theunflushables

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Sorry man, you have a snowball's chance in Hell. Yeah, it may be fun to imagine a scenario where she finally realizes she's in love with you. But thats just what it is, imaginary. No point in wasting your energies in a lost cause.

I'd try to keep her as a friend, she may be a good wingwoman for you. But don't hesitate to cut contact for a while if its just feeling awkward.

Also, read the DJ Bible. The link is at the bottom of the page.
 

Packers2010

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Iceberg said:
Sorry pal.

You've been in this girl's friend zone since you were a high school kid. And then you went and doubled up on the friend zone by telling her that you're in love with her.

By the way, you weren't in love with her. Love without sex or at least some semblance of a relationship only happens in the movies and ugly girls' fantasies.

Everything you were doing for her makes you a good friend. But all the things that make you a good friend are what make you boring and non-sexual to her. You're safe. You're there for her. You listen. That equates to boredom.

If you're ever trying to date a girl again. Do NONE of what you did with this girl. Make it clear that she's in your life as a potential hook up, not a friend. Do not be a shoulder to lean on. Be a source of fun and adventure.

And if you ignore every other piece of advice, remember this one: Never throw around that "I love you" stuff first. Let the girl ask "Where is our relationship going?" Let the girl ask, "Do you love me?" A man cannot do that because it puts the woman in control. She now has the upper hand. And you know what? She doesn't want it.....She doesn't want it. The man doesn't want her to have it. And neither does Mother F'n Nature. It's bad for everyone. In damn near every species of animal, the male leads. The woman follows, asking "where is this going?"
yeah i was afraid of this. but what can i do now?

to be honest i haven't really met anyone. i tired the online dating thing. but i didn't really work out so i just left it.

i guess i could just stay friends with her. even tho it's going to be really really hard. to get her off my mind. oh well. boose and hard drugs coming up
 

Packers2010

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theunflushables said:
Sorry man, you have a snowball's chance in Hell. Yeah, it may be fun to imagine a scenario where she finally realizes she's in love with you. But thats just what it is, imaginary. No point in wasting your energies in a lost cause.

I'd try to keep her as a friend, she may be a good wingwoman for you. But don't hesitate to cut contact for a while if its just feeling awkward.

Also, read the DJ Bible. The link is at the bottom of the page.
thanks man i didn't know where the link was.


yeah i figured this was all wrong. i pretty much did the same thing to a girl in high school i was with. obvs that went wrong too. but i can see why now
 

DonJuan_DeRosco

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Just think, this is the day when your eyes begin to be opened. This is what will mould you into the man you need to become.

Read the bible, read pook, read anti-dump and then you will cast away that afc shell.

:)

And stop watching hollywood romcoms! :p
 

theunflushables

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DonJuan_DeRosco said:
And stop watching hollywood romcoms! :p
Unless they are romcomzoms.

If you do find yourself watching a romcom remember these stories aren't written for real life, these are the dreams of the writers who write as a way to finally get the girl.

Its a self perpetuating cycle. AFC 1 writes a script which exemplifies their AFC ways and this gets turned into a movie. AFC's 2 and onwards watch said movie and are convinced they can continue in their ways because the protagonist of the movie is just like them and it worked out for him in the end. So they keep on their AFC ways and one of them writes the next AFC movie and the cycle keeps going.
 

Packers2010

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thanks for your help guys. i think i really needed to hear from someone else that i had no chance in hell.

i plan on read everything in bible thread so i guess i should be ok.

and as for romcoz. if it's anything like Scott pilgrim vs the world i should be ok
 
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